(Cissy's note: This is a post my sister, Karyn White Doherty, wrote for my blog about an event she organized with her book club. I share it here because it's about loss, grief, and ACEs as well as about what heals - relationships, community, and sharing stories. If you have been dealing with extreme weather or life conditions the last few days, and find reading or writing to be a soothing and wonderful escape, I hope you enjoy this. My sister is the best!)
How does an author bring about hope? By reaching out to you directly when upheaval, activism, and anxiety seep into your world after another fatal, mass school shooting takes place again – (this time in Florida) – and the topic of guns become front and center in the news.
Lisa See is a reclaimed author who lives in California and graciously joined our book club through Skype to discuss her recent book, The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane, a coming of age novel about a young Chinese woman who finds purpose, passion through her family identity and motherhood.
“It's said that great sorrow is no more than a reflection of one's capacity for great joy. I see it from the opposite direction. I'm happy, but there's an empty space inside me that will never stop suffering from the loss of Yan-yeh.”
― Lisa See, The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane
Her novel brings history, culture, and familiarity to a remote ethnic minority, most of us never knew existed. And, in this remote province; Yunnan, where pu’er tea is known to be the birthplace of tea – a story is born. We learn that pu’er is 4700 years old and is distinct because it undergoes a fermentation process and does not lose its flavor with time like other teas… Instead, it becomes more complex and mellow with age and valuable as well.
I invite my aunt, sister and mother to join the book club this once as I first discovered the author, Lisa See, in 2005 (after our Leominster bookclub was newly formed) and my aunt recommended her book when it was my turn. I chose “Snow Flower and Paper Fan.” See’s stories touch on heartbreak: and this novel centers on a woman; Li-yan from a family or ethnicity of people known as Akha in China who are likened to native American Indians because of their belief of a spirit world. See weaves together an eloquently written story about the character of Li-yan who finds love, then exposes deep loss from one of the taboo subjects – abandonment, during the time of China’s One Child law.
My uncle’s family migrated from China to America in the 1950’s and my sister adopted her daughter from China not long after 9/11 and during a time when Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) temporarily halted travel and adoptions. It was soon after this time that my aunt shared “Snow Flower and the Secret Fan,” which felt like a miraculous gift our family could escape in together when doubt, anxiety, and fear first crept into our world.
Just before the Skype call with the author, my book club friends arrive one by one with smiles and laughter. We’ve met off and on for years and I miss them when we are apart. We are bound by motherhood and friendship.
It’s Chinese New Year, the Year of the Dog, and they bring authentic Chinese food to enrich the experience.
These women are strong, beautiful and generous women who are as rich and deep as the tea themselves.
We sample Lotus Scent Aged Ripe Pu’erh which has been aged in Hong Kong since the 80’s. It is a classic aged ripe pu'er – the dark brew is dense and earthy. The passage of time has transformed this tea to have a unique quality that pu’er connoisseurs call “aged fragrance.”
These are the same women (pictured to the left) who wanted to support and send love to Mamas in Newtown after the tragedy in 2007.
The author tells us her story was inspired, in part by her own life and being a Caucasian-looking woman who is strongly identified with her Chinese culture and relatives. When she gathers with 400 at a banquet in Chinatown, only 12 or so people will look like her. She said it's a “mirror experience,” to what many Asian adoptees have when maybe they are the only people of color in their families, schools or communities and surrounded by people who are mostly White.
The author interviewed many girls in the United States and learned that while live with the stereotype of the “grateful and angry adoptee,” what she found was that most are grateful and sad, aware that while they are often most precious to their adoptive parents - they can feel as if they were not “precious enough” to be kept by their birth parents.
The author reminds us that while customs and policies in China have changed, and the characters are fictional, the village which she visited while researching the book got electricity only 13 years ago, and in a context, many of us can't imagine. She notes that 250,000 people get electricity for the first time daily. She marvels at the strength of women who so often “keep going” despite anything and everything.
“You have special abilities,” she goes on. “I don’t mean you are a witch or a fox spirit. And you’ve never seemed drawn to the special gift of healing or magic. Rather, you are like A-ma Mata, who gave birth to the Akha people, who pushed against her restraints, who said, ‘No, I will not accept my bad fate,’ and who endured against all odds with her intelligence, compassion, and perseverance. All that comes from this grove. And the mother tree.” A-ma”
― Lisa See, The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane
Lisa See tell us that she starts each of her books by writing the last line so she knows where the story will end emotionally, but we, as are led through stories in books and real life without this knowledge.
When it’s time for dessert, we all pause to read a thank you note from my husband's brother and his wife, who gifted a delicious strawberry shortcake to express their gratitude for the donations during their daughter's chemo treatment over Christmas.
My niece is 13 years old and was just diagnosed with leukemia. We are reminded that while life is tender and fragile and also beautiful. Jaden's sister is in Thailand, "10,000 smiles" away, having a once-in-a-lifetime experience and sharing photos that bring everyone joy.
When the author speaks to what inspired her to write this book during the video conference, we notice my mother can’t stop wiping the tears from her eyes. My mother, born in the United States, was only sixteen years old when she became pregnant, and seventeen when she had me. She was just a little older than my niece Kai, her grandchild, who was born in China and adopted into our family, and closer to the age of my daughters, Catrin and Rachel when she became a parent. All three girls have never known their biological grandfather, my father, Francis White, as he abandoned my sister and me when we were young.
We don’t say to Lisa See that our uncle, who is Chinese became an early father figure for us and is listening in on the Skype call. Our Uncle Jimmy is the eldest son, born in China where he lived for more than a decade. It is he who introduced us to Chinese New Year, Chinese horoscopes and culture. He and my aunt head the Shaughnessy Moy family and are the longest married couple on our maternal side.
Later, after book club, my sister will talk to my niece about this evening, and about race, identity, and adoption. They will talk about how families form and change through adoption, birth, trauma, love, tragedy, and circumstance.
In the book, Lisa See refers to a Chinese proverb – “No coincidences, no story." It means that a good story should contain an interesting coincidence. In other words, if there were no coincidences, there would be no stories. Sometimes, we don’t have answers, only stories and when the stories are sad or tragic, sometimes we don’t have words – only each other.
Our own stories, while very abundant are also very bittersweet. And, so when the author signs off and my mother and aunt do as well, our books club begin our discussion… the first question…
What kind of resonance does this story have on you today?
Note: To find a video with more about the author and her book, The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane, see below video.
Comments (0)