Tagged With "Addiction Isn't the Problem"
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What to Do When She Says #MeToo [psychologytoday.com]
Most parents want their children to confide in them about their problems. Unfortunately, if you have a daughter, there is a real possibility that one such problem may be that of sexual harassment or violence. A study from Harvard University found 87% of girls have experienced sexual harassment and the CDC reports nearly one in three women have experienced some form of sexual violence victimization. Being a victim of sexual violence or harassment is one of the biggest problems that a teenager...
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When a Mother Loves an Alcoholic - Parenting With ACEs
I was such a mother. I was also the daughter of an alcoholic. My mom died earlier this year. When a mother loves an alcoholic or is raised by an alcoholic, she is changed in profound ways - ways she has no idea are even present, yet ways that make her a confounding figure in her children's lives. At the root of these "ways" is her adverse childhood experiences. As I shared recently in my post, The Legacy of Untreated Secondhand Drinking ACEs , "[My] Mom and I talked about my realization that...
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
Ask the Community
We are the We
Cissy White and I were talking about the Parenting with ACEs (this group as well as the process of parenting with ACEs). We got animated, excited and went on and on and on (as we often do when we get to talking!) We decided to write a joint blog post to tell you about our conversation and ask you to weigh in on what you want. Read on our attempt at a combined post: Gail's voice - I called to ask if Cissy thought there was need for a place on the Parenting with ACEs group site for parents to...
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Show & Tell
Show don't tell is the first bit of advice almost every writer gets. Don't give facts if words can form an image. Don't say a song was fast-paced if words can tap quickly, instead, across the page. It's good advice but when it comes to ACEs we need both. We need to tell and show and tell again. There's resistance to telling. We need facts and data and proof. And we need stories. Both. Over and over and over. So the facts come with faces. So the data is as pressing as a poem. I can write...
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Simple Solutions to Real Barriers
My name is Rebekah Couch and I am a former teen mother of five children, the youngest child being my only clean and sober pregnancy allowed to remain in my care. I am a survivor of multiple sexual assaults and was afflicted with untreated mental health issues as an adolescent. My destructive journey began with self-medicating and illegal activities in junior high and a daily cocaine addiction by the age of 15 that eventually advanced to methamphetamine abuse. My addiction and criminal...
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Single Mothers Are Not the Problem [nytimes.com]
No group is as linked to poverty in the American mind as single mothers. For decades, politicians, journalists and scholars have scrutinized the reasons poor couples fail to use contraception, have children out of wedlock and do not marry. When the American Enterprise Institute and the Brookings Institution formed a bipartisan panel of prominent poverty scholars to write a “Consensus Plan for Reducing Poverty” in 2015, its first recommendation was to “promote a new cultural norm surrounding...
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Sometimes Embracing Emotional Distress Is the Best Medicine [Blogs.ScientificAmerican.com]
An unfortunate side effect of the biological revolution of psychiatry is in perceiving emotional discomfort as undesirable or bad, something we shouldn’t feel, something that can be medicated away. And while medications can be life-saving and necessary with severely disabling conditions such as psychosis, mania, depression, and debilitating anxiety, to name a few, perhaps we’ve taken a troublesome short-cut along the way. I worry that mental health may now be seen as the absence of mental...
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Spokane, WA, public health nurses create trauma-sensitive toolkit for parents/caregivers
Public health nurses at Spokane Regional Health District (SRHD) developed a 178-page toolkit -- 1*2*3 Care -- for caregivers of children. They define caregivers as parents, g randparents, child care providers, teachers, and others who care...
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Strengthening Families: Increasing positive outcomes for children and families [www.cssp.org]
We engage families, programs, and communities in building key protective factors. Children are more likely to thrive when their families have the support they need. By focusing on the five universal family strengths identified in the Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework , community leaders and service providers can better engage, support, and partner with parents in order to achieve the best outcomes for kids. How We Do It The Strengthening Families framework is a...
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Substance Use Disorder and Brain Development
The inputs a brain experiences during its developmental stages have a profound impact on whether that person will develop a substance use disorder (if they choose to drink or use other drugs). In turn, developing a substance use disorder (SUD) as a tween, teen, or young adult dramatically influences that person's brain development. And why is understanding this causality important? The risk factors for developing a substance use disorder are the result of inputs the brain experiences (or...
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Talking Tough Topics with Kids: Chat Event Right Here!
Hi Everyone! Our first monthly chat is scheduled for May 9th. I'm so excited. The topic is great and so is our guest. I hope you can attend. Cissy Location: Online / Parenting with ACEs Group It’s hard to know if, when and how to talk to children about abuse, addiction and ACEs. How do we find the right words or time? Please join Beth O’Malley , our special guest for the first in our Parenting with ACEs chat series . Beth has dedicated her life to supporting kids, adoptees, parents and...
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Taming the Dragons: Helping Children Cope: Ages Birth to Twelve Years
Taming the Dragons is a training manual for parents, foster parents, and kinship caregivers. It was developed out of a crisis nursery in WA state by Sue Delucchi. English and Spanish versions attached here for free downloads.
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Telling a more complete story about child welfare
A new study from Berkeley Media Studies Group found that coverage of the child welfare system omits important context and connections to other issues. Here are four steps practitioners can take to improve the news.
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The Absence of Punishment in Our Schools
Where to begin... My heart is full of hope and joy as I watch the trauma-informed schools movement swell across our nation and planet. The science of ACEs is mind-bending to say the least and we are now able to open up a much deeper dialogue about human behavior and health. Ultimately this work is about healing… All. Of. Us. A new consciousness is taking root around ending the “us vs them” construct. The idea is growing that we’re all on this journey together and that no matter where our...
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The Amazing Brain Series (www.instituteforsafefamilies.org)
Here's a link to several great downloads I'm adding to the Parenting with ACEs resource section. I've attached one of the five so you can get an idea of content and visuals. The downloads are all free and if you want colorful handouts those are available for purchase.
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The Beauty Myth for Boys [nytimes.com]
By Cara Natterson, The New York Times, December 3, 2019 As long as I have been a pediatrician, boys have told me — usually in not so many words — that they feel the exact same body pressures girls do, just in different directions. This body-sense emerges earlier than we might expect thanks to the younger onset of puberty, which has moved squarely into the elementary school years, yes for both boys and girls. The difference is that female body changes tend to be obvious from the start; not so...
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Reducing Maternal Mortality [nytimes.com]
Women in the United States face a far greater risk of dying from childbirth complications than in many other wealthy countries. Now the federal government has taken a step toward addressing the problem with the Preventing Maternal Deaths Act , signed in December, which will provide federal grants to states to investigate the deaths of women who die within a year of being pregnant. A report released by the Commonwealth Fund in December that looked at 11 high-income countries found that...
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Registration Open - 2019 Families and Fathers Conference Early Rate and Hotel Discount Closing Please Share
In forty-eight days, we open our 20th convening of a powerful conference focused on strengthening families, improving outcomes for children, and strategies to engage families. The 20th Annual Families and Fathers Conference hosted by Fathers and Families Coalition of America Sponsorships allow the extended early rate for an exceptional experience in Los Angeles, California from March 4th (pre-conference institute credential) through the main conference dates of March 5th - 7th. Please share...
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Reimbursement for Parenting Education and Support Services
Unfortunately, regardless of training received and degrees earned, parenting educators can't serve families and get reimbursed by public and private insurers for their services. In an effort to bring light to this issue, I wrote the attached paper with two colleagues at NC State. Our (unpublished) paper outlines research supporting parenting education services and their efficacy to improve individual and family health and long term wellbeing and community prosperity. We highlight the fact...
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Remembering the Children Trapped By Addiction
For every addict, there are five to seven people deeply impacted by living with addiction. People whose lives will be forever changed. The most vulnerable of these are children. There are several factors that impact how traumatizing the experience of growing up with addiction might become. Among them are, a child’s access to outside support, their age/developmental level and of course, the natural power imbalance between parent and child. Afterall, where can a child go with their lunchbox,...
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Report Features Newly-Released Data to Support Positive Child and Family Well-Being
A new report produced in partnership with Casey Family Programs illuminates the importance of HOPE—Health Outcomes of Positive Experiences, a framework that studies and promotes positive child and family well-being. Balancing Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) with HOPE presents newly-released, compelling data that reinforces the need and opportunity to support families and communities in the cultivation of relationships and environments that promote healthy childhood development. It also...
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RESILIENCY: Innate or Nurtured
For me, resiliency is in part innate. I don't think we can teach resilience. Through love and connection we can most certainly nurture it. A key piece of resiliency is connection with others. I look back at all that I have endured in my life and wonder what made me keep getting back up. Why did I become more tenacious each time life and family knocked me down? For me, what kept me going was being out in the world connecting with people throughout the day. It made me feel part of something...
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Resource List -- Spanish-Language ACEs Science Resources
Looking for Spanish-language handouts or information for presentations? Find Spanish-language resources here.
This resource list is organized in alphabetical order.
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Rise TIPS: For Parents in Crisis (www.risemagazine.org) & Commentary
Note: This handout was developed with, for and by parents in the child welfare system. However, it's got great content for all parents. For example, the article "Fight or Flight: Coping When Visits Stir Up Reminders of Trauma" is excellent. Lots of us parenting with ACEs have had the shameful experience of being triggered by our children. It can feel horrible. However, it's something we rarely admit, talk about or find addressed anywhere. Part of the problem is that much of the stuff written...
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RYSE Center's Listening Campaign: Young people in Richmond, CA help adults understand trauma, violence, coping, and healing
"My experience with violence is very brutal...I grew up with violence as if it were my sibling." - LC participant (youth) "We know we can't run the city- it's too complex- but our experience and our voices should count, especially because we're the most effected ." - LC participant (youth) "Our city's problems are shared by us all; we are all part of the problem AND the solution. Listening is a key component to healing." - LC Share Out partici pant (adult) Three years ago, RYSE Center in...
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SAMHSA's Concept of Trauma and Guidance for a Trauma-Informed Approach
Years in the making, this important piece of the trauma-informed pie is on the table! Check it out.
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Save the Life of Your Child
Some of my colleagues and I have developed a process and program called, "Design Thinking Suicide Prevention," that we have been presenting at mental health conferences . The reason for it is that we have discovered that certain words scare too many people who don't have to deal with mental issues in their family (although that number is becoming smaller and smaller). In fact, just the word "mental" causes people to run for the hills unless it directly affects them or a family member. Design...
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Launching or growing an ACEs initiative? We’ve got an app (& tools & guidelines) for that!!
Of the tens of thousands of communities across the U.S. (cities, counties, regions and states), we think a few hundred have launched ACEs initiatives so far. Two common obstacles that initiatives run up against are: What do we do once we all agree that everyone should know about ACEs science ? And, how do we measure our progress? Today we’re officially rolling out new guidelines, tools — and an app! — for that! Growing Resilient Communities 2.0 answers question #1. If the initiative’s goal...
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How Magic Hugs & Author Donna Jackson Nakazawa Make ACEs Science Useful to Parents
Donna Jackson Nakazawa is a well-known writer and author. Her book, Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology is a go-to guide for lots of us and makes her a frequent guest on podcasts. Last week I heard Allison Morris interview her during her Healing Our Children World Summit . Morris, a self-described "trauma mama" and "single adoptive mother of a child with early developmental trauma, attachment issues, and some physical disabilities" who gathers information and...
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Making Parenting Education A Priority
Hello. I wanted to introduce myself to this group. My name is Rene Howitt and I'm the founder a non-profit child advocacy organization, COPE24....Changing Our Parenting Experience. Our mission is "To significantly reduce incidences of child abuse and neglect." Our methodology is through parenting education. I've been working with Family Consumer Science (FACS) and health teachers since 2008. We believe that parenting education should be a priority in all of our high schools, reaching all of...
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Making The Case That Discrimination Is Bad For Your Health from Code Switch
"When Arline Geronimus was a student at Princeton University in the late 1970s, she worked a part-time job at a school for pregnant teenagers in Trenton, N.J. She quickly noticed that the teenagers at that part-time job were suffering from chronic health conditions that her whiter, better-off Princeton classmates rarely experienced. Geronimus began to wonder: how much of the health problems that the young mothers in Trenton experienced were caused by the stresses of their environment? It was...
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Marin Community Clinics in California screen babies for ACEs, provide support in effort to prevent trauma
When Marin Community Clinics (MCC) first considered screening their patients for adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) they already had decided that if they were going to prevent children from acquiring ACEs, they had to take a radical approach.
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Mass Incarceration, Stress, and Black Infant Mortality [americanprogress.org]
Infant mortality and mass incarceration are major issues affecting the black community. But while they are often thought of and dealt with on separate tracks, structural racism firmly connects these critical issues. Structural racism exposes black women to distinct stressors—such as contact with the criminal justice system—that ultimately undermine their health and the health of their children. Today, infants born to black mothers die at twice the rate as those born to white mothers. 1 This...
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Maternity Group Home Program Funding Opportunity. Applications Due 07/25/2019 [Admin for Children & Families]
Funding Opportunity Application Due Date: 07/25/2019 Maternity Group Home Program *See attached pdf for more info. Description: The Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families' Family and Youth Services Bureau (FYSB) announces the availability of funds under the Transitional Living Program’s Maternity Group Home (MGH) grant program. The purpose to provide safe, stable, and appropriate shelter only for pregnant and/or parenting youth ages 16 to...
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Meditate Together: Free live & online daily group meditation (www.mindfulleader.org)
This is a Mindful Leader COVID-19 Support Initiative - free until Friday, May 1st. From the Mindful Leader website:
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Meet Your Child’s Needs For Improved Behavior
Understanding WHY a child behaves as he/she does provides you with the answer as to what the child needs to willingly and capably improve his/her behavior. Communication is a behavior, and all forms of behavior are ways of communicating. The child who resists bedtime is communicating something, and the message goes beyond merely saying, “I don’t want to.” The same is true for the child who refuses to turn off the TV or turn away from the video game. The child who speaks to you...
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Meet Your Child’s Needs For Improved Behavior
Understanding WHY a child behaves as he/she does provides you with the answer as to what the child needs to willingly and capably improve his/her behavior. Communication is a behavior, and all forms of behavior are ways of communicating. The child who resists bedtime is communicating something, and the message goes beyond merely saying, “I don’t want to.” The same is true for the child who refuses to turn off the TV or turn away from the video game. The child who speaks to you...
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Mental Health Is The Biggest Issue Teens Face Today, New Research Shows (bustle.com)
A new survey from the Pew Research Center found that seven-in-10 teens identified anxiety and depression as a major problem they face, The New York Times reported. While being a teenager has long been synonymous with angst, it's important to distinguish typical teen behavior from anxiety and depression, which are diagnosable mental health conditions . Though issues like bullying, substance use disorder, alcohol consumption , and gang violence were also cited as problems, mental health was...
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Mental Health Is The Biggest Issue Teens Face Today, New Research Shows (bustle.com)
A new survey from the Pew Research Center found that seven-in-10 teens identified anxiety and depression as a major problem they face, The New York Times reported. While being a teenager has long been synonymous with angst, it's important to distinguish typical teen behavior from anxiety and depression, which are diagnosable mental health conditions . Though issues like bullying, substance use disorder, alcohol consumption , and gang violence were also cited as problems, mental health was...
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Michelle Kinder: Teach kids social emotional health by demonstrating it [DallasNews.com]
It is encouraging to hear Dallas ISD and districts across the country working hard to integrate social emotional health education back into our schools. However, without two key factors in place, these efforts will not succeed. There is no curriculum that is going to provide the reset that we are looking for in our schools (or in our country for that matter). The first factor that cannot be ignored is that as adults, we must practice what we preach. Explicitly teaching social emotional...
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Mindfulness: When Not to Use It (www.upliftconnect.com) & Commentary
Note: I have seen lots of discussion about the benefits and risks of mindfulness and meditation for trauma survivors. Most often, sitting meditation has not been desirable, possible or helpful for me. If one has little kids, periods of silence may not seem to ever exist. And stopping or being totally quiet and alone with myself is sometimes anything but calming or quieting. I've used guided meditation or yoga nidra instead to help me shift to a more calm and relaxed state. Sometimes I'll try...
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The Decline of Empathy: A Hopeful Solution (www.claudiamgoldmd.blogspot.com)
Here is an excerpt from a recent blog post by Dr. Claudia M. Gold. Pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton was among the first to recognize the tremendous capacity of the newborn for complex connection and communication. Developmental psychologist Ed Tronick, drawing on this observation, designed the famous Still-Face Experiment to show the devastation, for both parent and baby, when they struggle to connect. Extensive research at the interface of developmental psychology, neuroscience, and...
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The Developing Brain & Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Thanks to an explosion in scientific research now possible with imaging technologies, such as fMRI and SPECT, experts can actually see how the brain develops. This helps explain why exposure to adverse childhood experiences can so deeply influence and change a child's brain and thus their physical and emotional health and quality of life across their lifetime. The above time-lapse study was conducted over 10 years. The darker colors represent brain maturity (brain development). I have added...
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The emerging, devastating evidence that childhood trauma could affect the next generation (www.qz.com)
Saw this great article by Jenny Anderson in Quartz this morning. Here are some excerpts (and thanks for sharing such great stuff Robin Cogan ). Read full article.
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The "F" Words: Fear & Forgiveness
“If your parent is the bear in the living room, it is biologically impossible to run to that parent when they are either over or under reacting. If your parent is scary you can’t run to them. And you also can’t run away from them because you are a child, you can’t function in the world on your own. You can’t make it out there." Donna Jackson Nakazawa We can get so lost in theory, data and facts that our language about trauma, abuse and adverse childhood experiences can become clinical and...
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The Girl on the Side (www.beatingtrauma.com)
Elisabeth Corey writes so honestly on her Beating Trauma blog . I'm a huge fan of her writing and advocacy work. This piece, in particular, is amazing. She writes about adult relationships and how they have been impacted deeply and consistently by ACEs in childhood. We know what we have lived. Unlearning and learning new and different things takes time and work. And it helps, that parents like Elisabeth share as they learn. We all benefit from that sharing. Many of us are learning how to...
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The Legacy of Untreated Secondhand Drinking-Related ACEs
I am the child of an alcoholic. My mom didn’t stop drinking until age 79. She died at 84. There was no warning, no lingering illness. She died two days after an unsuccessful emergency surgery. But we had five years during which she did not drink, after forty-five years during which she did. You see, my mom knew she had a drinking problem. So did we, the rest of her family. There were times when she fought mightily to stop or control it. There were times when the rest of us fought mightily to...
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The Powerful Role of Parents in Tackling Bullying
Parents also have the power to prevent bullying by changing family dynamics. They may not know it, and they may not know how to do it.