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Parenting with PACEs. PACEs science & stories. Trauma-informed change.

Trauma-Informed Parenting

Return to Work? Not With Child Care Still in Limbo, Some Parents Say. [nytimes.com]

By Claire Cain Miller, The New York Times, August 9, 2021 Brianna McCain left her job as an office manager when the pandemic started, to care for her two young daughters. By last spring, she was ready to go back to work. But she hasn’t been able to, because her children are still at home. She has been searching for a job with flexible hours and the ability to work from home, but these are hard to find, especially for new hires and for hourly workers. She can’t take an in-person job until...

Parenting Through Terminal Illness (NY Times)

As their father fights to live, my children and I learn how to grieve. One night last fall, as I sat in bed with my 9-year-old son, Cohen, he looked up at me through tears and asked, “Do you think Daddy will have a long life or a short life?” It was a big question from a little boy, but not an unexpected one. Two years ago, my husband, Chris, was diagnosed with the progressive neurodegenerative disease amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or A.L.S. Doctors said he had six to 12 months to live. He...

This Is Our Chance to Pull Teenagers Out of the Smartphone Trap [nytimes.com]

By Jonathan Haidt and Jean M. Twenge, The New York Times, July 31, 2021 As students return to school in the coming weeks, there will be close attention to their mental health. Many problems will be attributed to the Covid pandemic, but in fact we need to look back further, to 2012. That’s when rates of teenage depression, loneliness, self-harm and suicide began to rise sharply. By 2019, just before the pandemic, rates of depression among adolescents had nearly doubled . When we first started...

How to raise a boy: my mission to bring up a son fit for the 21st century [theguardian.com]

By Tom Lamont, The Guardian, August 1, 2021 M y little son has a gang he roots for. All boys, dudes everywhere – they’re his gang. I figured this out, recently, when we sat down to watch the Grand National. He’d picked a horse in the family sweepstake and his choice was out in front for most of the race. When it fell back, out of contention, my son paled a bit. Possibly he’d already spent the sweepstake winnings in his head (on stickers, sweets, toy balls) but he took the disappointment...

Beasley: How and Why Father Engagement Matters

Father figure involvement in parenting is associated with better outcomes for children, including better social-emotional, behavioral and psychological outcomes and improved academic performance. Although home visiting (HV) programs have traditionally focused on pregnant women and first-time mothers, fathers can also benefit from these parenting supports. However, engaging fathers in HV programs presents unique challenges. Young fathers may have relationship instability, logistical obstacles...

The Moms and Dads of America Have Had Enough (medium.com)

American parents are raising the next working class. I’ve been wracking my brain for the real reason why our culture browbeats us into having kids, and I finally figured it out. We’re supposed to raise the next working class. Our kids aren’t on track to become millionaires and billionaires. Nope, we’re raising the next generation of pediatricians and general practitioners. We’re raising the next wave of teachers and daycare workers, along with all the nurses and police officers and...

Why You Should Stop Yelling at Your Kids [nytimes.com]

By Stephen Marche, The New York Times, September 5, 2018 The use of spanking to discipline children has been in decline for 50 years. But yelling? Almost everybody still yells at their kids sometimes, even the parents who know it doesn’t work. Yelling may be the most widespread parental stupidity around today. Households with regular shouting incidents tend to have children with lower self-esteem and higher rates of depression. A 2014 study in The Journal of Child Development demonstrated...

Teen Mental Health - Resilient Georgia General Meeting

Resilient Georgia is excited to share information and resources from our June General Meeting on Teen Mental Health , where we brought together experts and advocates in the Georgia behavioral health space to discuss their work around adolescent well-being. Teenagers can be hard to decipher at times, but one point is clear: teens need large amounts of support to overcome the staggering odds of having mental illness. With rates of teen mental illness already higher than the adult population...

Resource: Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic One-Pager (English & Spanish!)

English: The California Department of Public Health, Injury and Prevention Branch (CDPH/IVPB) and the California Department of Social Service, Office of Child Abuse Prevention’s (CDSS/OCAP) , Essentials for Childhood (EfC) Initiative , ACEs Connection , and the Yolo County Children’s Alliance co-created “Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic” in both English and Spanish. This material is intended for Californian families experiencing the severe economic consequences resulting from...

10 Rules for Parents to Help Kids to Do Their Homework Stress-Free

If doing homework with a child usually ends with quarrels and a bad mood, and if you subsequently have difficulties and inconveniences because of this, you should read this article and be ready to take action to make sure that you will avoid the same situation in the future. It is quite easy to start with the steps below first and observe how it evolves: 1. Find out the Reason If the child does not like doing homework in any way, he comes up with various excuses not to start studying, be...

COVID-19 is Making Kids Anxious: What Can Parents Do? (Positive Parenting)

“I’ve tried to give them permission to be upset because this is not a fun time,” shared Cynthia Soliz. These days, Cynthia Soliz, like many other parents, is not just mom to 11-year old Anthony and 6-year old Petra, she is also a full-time cook, teacher, camp counselor and psychologist to her kids. And her time is stretched thin. “We know that this is a time where families are extremely stressed, as are their children,” said Jessica Bartlett, Ph.D. Developmental Scientist, Jessica Bartlett,...

Sharing Your Calm: It Takes Two to Make Things Go Right! (Zero to Three)

Think about any of dozens of tough moments during your day. The dog is barking, the baby needs a diaper change (again), it’s an hour past dinner time, and you’re really hungry. On most days, you’ve got this. You have the coping skills you need to take a breath, change a diaper, or make a sandwich without breaking down into tears or yelling at everyone in frustration. Babies don’t have these coping skills yet. Even though babies’ brains are growing very fast and they are learning a lot about...

A Child’s Joy in Growing Up: A View from the Pandemic (Claudia M. Gold MD)

John and Adam longed to follow the advice of their favorite parenting podcast and teach their 18-month-old daughter Avery to play independently. But when John left her in her playpen to go make dinner, or Adam sat on the couch doing work while Avery played at his feet, they relented to her protests within seconds. They felt torn between a wish to follow what they called “attachment parenting” where they responded to her every need, and to give her space. I began working with them when Avery...

How to Support Adult Children Struggling With Mental Health (NY Times)

Expert advice on how to gently offer help and compassion. Katie Bradeen of Colorado Springs, Colo., began to worry about her 20-year-old son, Ryan, when he came home for Christmas break of 2020. She said he had a “gray demeanor” and “he seemed to be in slow motion.” Though Mr. Bradeen was on campus for his sophomore year of college, the social distancing and virtual classes during the pandemic were challenging, especially for him as a theater major. The winter of 2021 “was even more...

How to Raise Kids Who Won’t Be Racist (NY Times)

If race is largely a social construct, then teaching children about it will only perpetuate racism — right? Wrong: Studies show precisely the opposite. Open conversations about race and racism can make white children less prejudiced and can increase the self-esteem of children of color. If states ban the teaching of critical race theory , as conservative lawmakers in many are attempting to do , or if schools don’t provide consistent education about racism and discrimination, it’s imperative...

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