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There's a blog post by Ruth Buczynski, PhD on the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine website that links to a great infographic explaining the difference between guilt and shame. It's worth checking out. What I found most helpful though is something I've never really heard of or understood - irrational guilt. Irrational guilt is defined as "a feeling of psychological discomfort about something we've done against our irrationally high standards." Who knew? I...

If you are a successful survivor but your personal hurricane hits again, and PTSD returns, what should you do? First, make sure you are safe. Physical safety requires effort, friends and may require experts in security, law, or health. When the risks are high, you don't need psychoanalysis. You need a safety net. Second, when physically safe, but full of fear, flashbacks, numbing and self-isolation, remind yourself that you are better off than a rookie who knows nothing about emotional...

Parents with PTSD from ACEs sharing what's hard about parenting while post-traumatically stressed: "Managing the terror around the possibility of everyone being a perp." "How to talk to children about why they won't meet X relative." “There was a point when I would feel completely overwhelmed by something as simple as having to make breakfast and school lunches at the same time.” "I didn't understand that not all parents reacted or were triggered the way I was." "was stone set on not...

I love yoga and writing. I need yoga and writing. Both are relatively affordable and can be done alone and at home or in community. Both have been central to my survival, recovery and growth which I write about below. I also love sharing and supporting survivor-led resources created for survivors and others. Here are two links to those if you want to get to those right away. There are more details about each following the essay: Write Your Story, Heal Your Life Summit: Alaura O'Dell...

Excerpt from article by Juliette Virzi. It has been said that “no one escapes childhood unscathed.” But sayings like these can have an especially significant meaning for a person who has experienced emotional abuse as a child . The effects of emotional abuse can be both debilitating and far-reaching, often extending out of childhood and into adolescence and adulthood. For many, experiencing emotional abuse at a young age can affect their self-worth and relationships. For some, emotional...

For people going through a divorce, a technique called narrative expressive writing -- not just writing about their emotions, but creating a meaningful narrative of their experience -- may reduce the harmful cardiovascular effects of stress related to marital separation, reports a new study. Full link to study summary.

Note: Dawn Daum & Joyelle Bran dt are the featured guests on the live chat held in the Parenting with ACEs Group on Tuesday, June 13th at 10 AM PST / 1 PM PST. The topic is Parenting with PTSD & ACEs. Dawn and Joyelle are artists, activists and parents. They met a few years ago and set about creating an online community for parent survivors to working to break the cycle of abuse. Here's a small sample of the work they have done and are doing: Wrote a resource about Parenting as an...

Mayo Clinic researchers report that women who suffered adverse childhood experiences or abuse as an adult are 62 percent more likely to have their ovaries removed before age 46. These removals are for reasons other than the presence of ovarian cancer or a high genetic risk of developing cancer, says the new study published today in BMJ Open. In previous studies examining the effects of removing the ovaries of younger women, the research team has demonstrated a myriad of health risks...

Around 10:30 one night, I walked across the emergency department to see my next patient, a woman who’d had a panic attack. I took a deep breath before turning the corner, partly because you never know what you’ll see next, and partly because I was three months pregnant and a little queasy. I found a worried looking young woman with an eight-month baby bump. “Hi, doctor” she said. “I’m sorry about this. My boyfriend lost his job and I got overwhelmed.” [For more of this story, written by...

The ready availability of tools to hide teen social media use can be problematic, leading teens to overshare images, videos and commentary. But that privacy has long been proven to be unreliable, because information shared within a private group can be easily captured in a screenshot and shared with a wider audience. The notion of privacy online is only as reliable as teens relationships with other users, and that combined with general privacy concerns provides little guarantee that online...

"Why don’t you love me? Why don’t you care enough to care?," writes the high school girl who wrote a letter to her alcoholic father but never mailed it. She asked me to share it on my blogs, instead. It’s the rawness of her hurt, so many years into her life, that drew me to share her letter. Helping children and adults understand the secondhand drinking (SHD) impacts a child experiences when growing up with a parent’s alcoholism* is essential to helping a child (or an adult child) heal from...

"You know. I feel like people are blessed to have both parents in their life. Um... I wasn't. My parents have always been separated and you know, as a kid, to have your mom 1000 miles away and your Dad 1000 miles away. Apart.... So you know, no matter how far apart they are, I always just tried to be the one in the middle bringing them together. You know, it's just tough for a kid." Fik-Shun I like dance videos the way some like cat videos. Here's one of my all-time favorites. It is the of a...