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Parenting with PACEs. PACEs science & stories. Trauma-informed change.

Careful, It's Not Over Yet & Parenting with ACEs & PTSD

 

Note: Dawn Daum & Joyelle Brandt are the featured guests on the live chat held in the Parenting with ACEs Group on Tuesday, June 13th at 10 AM PST / 1 PM PST. The topic is Parenting with PTSD & ACEs.

Dawn and Joyelle are artists, activists and parents. They met a few years ago and set about creating an online community for parent survivors to working to break the cycle of abuse. Here's a small sample of the work they have done and are doing:  

“Momma, I feel sad and I don’t know why.”

Startled to find my daughter so upset, I walked to her bed and put her on my lap. She nuzzled her head in to the crook of my neck and cried. I pulled her away a bit so that I could see her face. There it was. Pale lips and dark circles under her eyes. She was just tired. I told her to take a few deep breathes with me, close her eyes, and I rubbed her back until I heard that familiar rhythm in her breathe. I kissed her cheek and headed downstairs.

My daughter is so much like me. An old soul full of heart and fury. She digs deep to find the funny in life, but easily trips over frustration. I watch her get stuck on sad and overwhelmed when she’s angry. She loves deeply. She is persistently after a purpose. She is all or nothing. A trait that I know first hand can break you, if you never learn how to bend.

I walked from room to room, picking up toys and clothes and dishes. I couldn’t stop thinking about the very real possibility that my children will be at battle with their emotions and thoughts the way I have always been. Mental illness and trauma run rampant through my blood line. I am a product of generational dysfunctions, mental illness and addictive personalities. Raised on a foundation like that, how can I not fear that my children will feel a ripple effect.

Truth is, I’m scared as hell. Of myself. That I am only going to encourage the ripple, simply by being me. That my faulted inner dialogue will start to become theirs. I am damaged goods, and it’s only a matter of time before I wear off on them.

The weight of thinking this way pushes the air right out of me. It’s so familiar. A usual game-over for me, to which I fall defeated in to a funk. However, there is something different about this moment. I’m am less accepting of this way of thinking. This scenario that has played out in my head over and over seems to have lost some of its power.

dawn

Chat Topics to be Covered with Joyelle & Dawn:   

  • ACEs for parents.
  • PTSD & parent triggers.
  • Survivor wish list.
  • Parent-led advocacy, policy & social change.

To Participate on June 13th  ( 10 AM PST / 1 PM EST )

If You ARE a Member of the Parenting with ACEs Group

  1. Go to Parenting with ACEs Group on June 13th. Find Featured Chat at top.

If NOT a Member of ACEs Connection or Parenting with ACEs Group

  1. Go to ACEsConnection and see “Join ACEs Connection” on the right sidebar.
  2. Go to Groups, All Groups, find Parenting with ACEs Group, Join This Group. Please do these steps BEFORE chat event.
  3. Go to Parenting with ACEs Group on June 13th. Find Featured Chat at top.

Questions/Comments: Please contact Christine Cissy White, Parenting with ACEs Group Manager, cwhite@acesconnection.com.

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