Tagged With "Indigenous Wisdom"
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A Sherpa Helping Us Scale Mountains of Loss & Fear: The Impact of Sebern Fisher's Work
“You can recover from all that happened to you.” That was the dose of hope I received from Sebern Fisher during a short telephone interview. She is the author of Neurofeedback in the Treatment of Developmental Trauma: Calming the Fear-Driven Brain. Her book is excellent even if you never plan on using neurofeedback. She helps explain why and how developmental trauma devastates and how it is different than single-incident trauma or traditional post-traumatic stress. Honestly – if you read her...
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Engaging Parents, Developing Leaders A Self-Assessment and Planning Tool for Nonprofits and Schools & Commentary from a Parent (aecf.org)
I finally had a chance to read this 34-page document. It's great to see parental engagement being addressed in such an in-depth way. While it might seem common-sense obvious that parental engagement efforts are crucial - they aren't always done well or at all. This toolkit is wonderful but it's not perfect. It asks a lot of important questions which help an organization think about what it does or doesn't do already. It offers a lot of resources for further research as well as some real-life...
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Family Triggers: 3 Mindful Techniques To Help You Respond With Skill and Wisdom Instead of Reacting Impulsively (by Robert Oleskevich) (heysigmund.com)
A trigger is a reaction that is more instinctive and immediate, lacking our typical skill or thought, that has ties to our conditioning of the past. At the point our conditioning takes over, our amygdala amps up, which is the little almond in our brain that detects danger and tells our fight or flight reactions to kick in. Our amygdala comes in very handy at times, however, it’s not the best at determining when danger is real or not. So, let’s use three mindful approaches with roots in...
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Fathering as a Survivor (www.triggerpointsanthology.com)
We don't hear enough from men who have been abused as children. Byron Hamel is helping to change that. This is an interview done with Hamel by the Trigger Points Anthology website . It's the first in a series they are running about fathering as a survivor of childhood abuse. If you can't read the entire thing, and you should, please read this: I honestly think most people believe an abused boy is inherently going to become an abusive or neglectful dad. I gotta call bullshit on that one,...
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Healing Our Ghosts Podcast Series in 2019 (www.wrestlingghosts.com)
Ana Joanes, the Director of the film, Wrestling Ghosts has a new podcast series and it's fantastic. If you are hungry for honest conversations about developmental trauma, healing, how ACEs impact children and the adults we become, you will want to tune in. The most recent guest is Sebern Fisher, author of Neurofeedback for Developmental Trauma: Calming the Fear-Driven Brain . It's one of the best interviews I've heard with Sebern (and I've listened to lots). There are interviews with varied...
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Helping Kids Find the Wisdom in Overwhelm
In an unprecedented global shutdown, many of us, especially without the noise and distraction of everyday life, are facing intensified, often destabilizing feelings. And that includes kids—whether they’re able to say so or not.
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How It Feels & How We Heal: Parenting with ACEs Chat Quotes (You Tube, Database, PDFs, Links)
Parenting with ACEs is sharing inspiration, information, and expertise from our chat series in 3 formats. Parenting with ACEs: How It Feels & How We Heal Quote Collection (pdf version below as well) Quotes Database (pdf version below as well) Links to Chat Transcripts and before and after-the-chat blog posts. Thanks to everyone who showed up, who shared, and who is doing the important work that is our mission (prevent ACEs, heal trauma, build resilience). We know that work happens...
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The Ten Books That Changed My Life - Healing ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and Building Resilience
Teri Wellbrock offers a list of those books that had a profound impact on her life and helped her create a life filled with tranquility and joy. While she may not have agreed with every word written, she did find powerful answers, delicious little tidbits, and inspirational guidance within each book.
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The Trauma-Sensitive Parenting Summit & Commentary
"Having a history of trauma or loss does not by itself predispose you to have a child with disorganization. It is the lack of resolution that is the essential risk factor. It is never too late to move toward making sense of your experiences and healing your past. Not only you but also your child will benefit." That's a quote from the book Parenting from the Inside Out: How A Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive, which was published fifteen freaking years ago. It's...
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TIC: News and Notes for February 2020
ACEs, Adversity's Impact Podcast: What happened to you? (Part 1) Podcast: What happened to you? (Part 2) Podcast: What happened to you? (Part 3) Family dynamics may influence suicidal thoughts in children Fawning: The fourth trauma response we don't talk about FPs are best equipped to tackle adverse childhood experiences New study reveals annual cost of childhood adversity in California is approximately $113 billion Signs your child may be struggling from an adverse childhood experience...
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Trauma-Informed CONVOS during COVID
Thanks to Lara Kain of ACES Connection, I discovered the brilliant Joe Truss of Culturally Responsive Leadership . Joe is a principal, a blogger, a father, and soon to be my second guest in a new free conversation series I am hosting - Trauma-Informed CONVOS during COVID. Joe authored a provocative, hilarious, raw blog that went viral on social media less than three weeks ago. If you haven't read it, it's a must: A School Principal's Pondering During a Pandemic. Join us for what will be a...
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Two Texts to Show One Difference Between a High and Low ACE Score
I was leaving the house on the way to do something brand new and scary a few weeks ago. My two close friends, Heidi and Kathy, both sent me a text. One has an ACE score of 10. One has a below 4 score. The text from Kathy reminded me that I am loved and safe. She sent me a sticky note with affirmations and attempted to calm my nerves by reminding me that humans are caring and curious and want to know what others have to say. The other text was from Heidi. It said, "Beast mode today." That was...
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Webinar Slides and Recording: Building Resilient Communities with Elaine Miller-Karas
Recorded live August 8, 2019. Find the slides attached below. The 1 hour video recording can be found on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/BUyY0FMjv8s Speaker: Elaine Miller-Karas, MSW, LCSW, Executive Director and Co-founder, Trauma Resource Institute. Host: Carey Sipp, Southeast Community Facilitator, ACEs Connection. Webinar Description: This webinar will explore integrating a biological based model to reduce the impacts of toxic stress for children and adults. It is a model both for...
Calendar Event
Trauma-Sensitive Parenting Summit (free, online summit)
Calendar Event
Trauma-Sensitive Parenting Summit (webinar)
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Sheltering in Place: ACEs-Informed Tips for Self-Care During a Pandemic
Millions of lives have been affected in unprecedented ways by the Coronavirus (COVID-19). We are all grappling with uncertainty—our daily routines interrupted, not knowing what is to come. For those of us who have Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), these times can be particularly distressing. At the Center for Youth Wellness (CYW), we know that childhood trauma can have a significant impact on an individual’s health and well-being – both physiologically and psychologically. Since the...
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Split: Divorce Resource (www.split.org) & Commentary
"When I'm with my Mom I miss my Dad. When I'm with my Dad I miss my Mom. I'm always missing someone." Katie, my cousin said those words when she was not yet in first grade. It was heartbreaking and sad. When my daughter's Dad and I divorced, my daughter wasn't as emotional, at first. When we told her that her Dad and I were separating, and assured her, "It's not your fault," she said words I'll never forget. "Why would it be my fault?" She thought that was ridiculous and silly. That was a...
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The Boy Born Out of Resilience
A few months ago I published a blog, " A Mother's Rage". I re-accounted my rage and helplessness regarding my daughter's high school rape in Miami, FL. I ended my post with words of hope. I wrote how several years had passed since my daughter's assault. She was now engaged and pregnant with my first grandchild. This is the rest of the story. I held my daughter's hand as she labored through the night with my grandson. I tried to comfort her fiancee who felt helpless. I rubbed her back,...
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Registration Open - 2019 Families and Fathers Conference Early Rate and Hotel Discount Closing Please Share
In forty-eight days, we open our 20th convening of a powerful conference focused on strengthening families, improving outcomes for children, and strategies to engage families. The 20th Annual Families and Fathers Conference hosted by Fathers and Families Coalition of America Sponsorships allow the extended early rate for an exceptional experience in Los Angeles, California from March 4th (pre-conference institute credential) through the main conference dates of March 5th - 7th. Please share...
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Reimbursement for Parenting Education and Support Services
Unfortunately, regardless of training received and degrees earned, parenting educators can't serve families and get reimbursed by public and private insurers for their services. In an effort to bring light to this issue, I wrote the attached paper with two colleagues at NC State. Our (unpublished) paper outlines research supporting parenting education services and their efficacy to improve individual and family health and long term wellbeing and community prosperity. We highlight the fact...
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Resilience: A New Grief Myth That Can Hurt You (www.medium.com)
Excerpts from an essay written by Candyce Ossefort-Russell : Full essay.
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Secrets Of Breast-Feeding From Global Moms In The Know (www.npr.org)
"Many of the women that I talked to actually struggled a lot with learning how to breast-feed," she says. Two-thirds of the women said they had some problems at the beginning, such as pain, fear, troubles getting the baby to latch and concerns about the milk supply — just like American moms. And their problems went behind breast-feeding. "Most women talked about having little knowledge about early infant care, such as how to hold babies or how to be sure they're sleeping safely," Scelza...
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Self-Compassion for Teens
With teens today facing unprecedented levels of toxic stress, self-compassion is one way to nurture inner wisdom, promote self-kindness, and self-heal. Christopher Germer, author of the Mindful Path to Self-Compassion says my forthcoming book, Self-Compassion for Teens: 129 Activities & Practices to Cultivate Kindness is "just the ticket for parents, teachers, and counselors who know the burdens of modern teens and want to help." Tara Brach, author of True Refuge and Radical Acceptance...
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Making the Good Stuff Louder: Trauma Dad, Bryon Hamel
Byron Hamel, (AKA Trauma Dad ), is a filmmaker , children's rights and men's wellness advocate. He's also a father with "ACEs through the roof," who survived child torture at the hands of a man now on death row for infanticide. Before the Father & ACEs chat started last week (see full chat transcript ), we discussed if and how to give a trigger warning. Hamel's experienced horrific trauma during childhood. He didn't want to traumatize those on the chat but wanted to be honest.
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Mentored Boys or Monster Boys: The Two Choices for Our Future
I wrote recently about my preparations to take my 15 year-old grandson, Deon, for a four day, young men’s rites of passage, retreat. It was truly an adventure of a life-time for both of us and want to share a bit about the experience with you (that’s me in the second row on the right with Deon beside me). I’ve long believed that mentoring is critical to the well-being of our children and grandchildren, particularly the young men. It’s also critical to the well-being of our communities. Many...
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Modifiable Resilience Factors to Childhood Adversity for Clinical Pediatric Practice / Abstract Link
I learned about a new research paper entitled, "Modifiable Resilience Factors to Childhood Adversity for Clinical Pediatric Practice" co-authored by Flora Taub and Renée Boynton-Jarret (pictured above). It was just published in Pediatrics which is the official journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics). Here's the link to the abstract. I'm not going to pretend I subscribe to Pediatrics. I don't. However, I have been interested in the work of Renée Boynton-Jarret ever since writing a...
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Most kids on public coverage have parents who work for big companies, new study finds [centerforhealthjournalism.org]
By Giles Bruce, Center for Health Journalism, July 3, 2019. The conventional wisdom is that kids are on government health insurance because their parents are unemployed or work at small businesses with meager benefits. A study released this week debunks that theory. Research from the PolicyLab at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia found that the majority of children insured through Medicaid or the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) — more than 70% — have a parent employed by a large...
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The Evolutionary Importance of Grandmothers (upliftconnect.com)
As other primates have only one child they are responsible for at any one time, the mother can dedicate her whole attention to that baby. However, humans often have multiple children. With many mums juggling crying babies, toddlers throwing tantrums, and hungry children all at once, help is sometimes necessary to keep family life running smoothly. Traditionally grandmothers, with their wisdom and parenting experience, have stepped up to this role and provided attention to older children...
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The Hello It’s Me Project comes to Pittsfield: Dr. Claudia Gold at the helm of initiative to create healthy bonds between parents and infants (www./theberkshireedge.com)
Cissy's note: I am a huge fan of the way @Claudia Gold works with those of us Parenting with ACEs . The first time I read her writing I relaxed. She was speaking with and for parents not about or at us. Unfortunately, her approach is rare. Fortunately, she just launched a new project she's been dreaming of for years. I love the way she supports all families and how she centers the role of all parents in the lives of all children - especially those - not all except those...
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How to Connect with a Child After Trauma
Are you struggling to help a child who has been through hard times? Does the child seem unreachable, unmanageable, and unwilling to try? Are you at your at the end of your rope with explosive behavior? If so, I have a concept to share with you that might help the two of you connect and increase positive interactions within your family or classroom. I want to start by saying that it can be incredibly frustrating and anxiety-provoking to witness a child who is suffering emotionally without the...
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In the Arena with NOW Podcast Episode, "Letting Communities Lead" (30 min)
The Networks of Opportunity for Child Wellbeing (NOW) is excited to share the second episode of In the Arena with NOW , a podcast series that lifts up the voices of community leaders who are “in the arena” -- in classrooms, playgrounds, Congressional halls, hospitals, and neighborhood streets -- working to make sure that all children and families can live healthy, thriving lives. In our second episode, we speak with members of the Young Child Wellness Council (YCWC) in Tuscaloosa, Alabama ,...
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Introducing NEW Becoming Trauma-Informed & Beyond Community
Earlier this year @Dawn Daum wrote to us when she was ready to share ACEs science with people in the organization she works in to make a case for moving towards more trauma-informed care for the benefit of the staff and those they serve. She was frustrated because almost all the training and resources she found were geared towards schools, clinical staff or to organizations working with children and families rather than ACE-impacted adults in the workplace and who are...
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Why not share information on trauma and resilience directly with survivors?
The Echo conference is known for shining a light on new developments in the trauma field, and this year, our "And Still We Rise" conference will be no different. Only the difference this year is that we will be doing something revolutionary in our field - providing information on trauma and resilience DIRECTLY TO SURVIVORS . Historically, the conference audience has been service providers and - as any trauma survivor will tell you - it is imperative that our services, systems, and...
Ask the Community
Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
Let's create a list of resources useful for parenting ourselves and children. These can be books about child development or self-help books or a work of fiction that had important wisdom. If there's a title that's helped you or someone you know, love or work with as it relates to parenting, please share. For me, my absolute favorite is this: There's Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber This book is not about parenting. It's not about how-to parent I should say but it...
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Our "Entitled" Children & Great Writing by Maureen O'Leary
Have you heard or said how entitled kids today are? Maybe you think they expect too much and aren't as strong, resilient, capable or whatever as you or other adults? Maybe you can't imagine how they live - having so much, insisting on so much and texting so much. Maybe you think they are terrible and we were better. Maybe you admire them and wish you could trade places. Maybe generalizations make you uncomfortable or you just aren't sure what you to think about the generational changes or...
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Parenting: A Cultural Perspective from Dr. Darcia Narvaez and Others
My first foray into the world of social services led me to become involved with what I thought was an under-appreciated aspect of parenting: the role of a father and the problems caused by an absent father. I drew from my own experience growing up. My parents first separated when I was about four-and-a-half years old. There were four children in our family. The youngest was only about six months old when the separation happened. My parents reconciled long enough for a fifth child to be...
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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
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Parenting, Menopause & ACEs After-the-Chat Summary: Carey Sipp
Have you talked with friends, siblings or co-workers about Parenting with ACEs while going through the change? Do you have any fascinating facts to share about how your OBGYN prepared or supported you when thrown by midlife, hormonal shifts and emotional residue from traumatic stress? Me either. And it's a shame. A lot of people parent, go through menopause, and have survived a bunch of ACEs. Conversations and information shouldn't be so hard to find. But they are. T hat's the reason we...
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Power and Partnership: A Guide to Improving Frontline Practice with Parents in the Child Welfare System (www.risemagazine.org) & the Importance of Lived Expertise
(Cissy's note: My Friday morning free-write on stuff I've been thinking about a lot of late) At least once a week, if not once a day, people ask about how to have more "authentic engagement" from parents, survivors, and community members - especially who are or have been in crisis related to ACEs. And sometimes, people share how hard it is to get or keep folks on committees who do have lived experience and care about trauma-informed change. I get these questions pretty often. But these...
Comment
Re: Engaging Parents, Developing Leaders A Self-Assessment and Planning Tool for Nonprofits and Schools & Commentary from a Parent (aecf.org)
Thank you Christine for your imperative and powerful post! Without authentic community (youth, parents, etc.) engagement, we are missing a plethora of opportunities and feeding the lack of their power, wisdom and expertise as we transform our systems. They absolutely should be valued as the powerful resource they are. Our cultural sensitivity and responsiveness must have their voice and choice at the forefront.
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Re: Engaging Parents, Developing Leaders A Self-Assessment and Planning Tool for Nonprofits and Schools & Commentary from a Parent (aecf.org)
It's great that we have a community here that values community and that it's so large and we're able to grow together, educate and challenge one another. There's some great material and resources out in the world which I think could reach a lot more people if organizations were even a little more inclusive on the development, brainstorming and strategy side of things.
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ACEs Science and Racism
This is a collection of resources regarding structural racism and trauma. This list aims to give a broad overview and is not all-inclusive. We welcome suggestions; if you have any, please comment below! The titles below and the PDFs in attachments are in alphabetical order. BSC Full Report Trauma Resilient Informed City Baltimore: This is the full report of the work, data, lessons, and direct quotes from several teams of people from various backgrounds in the Baltimore community as they...
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Addiction Isn't the Problem, It's the Symptom [pesi.com]
Note: You may receive an unsolicited invite to a class when downloading the article. By Gabor Mate, PESI, May 2, 2020 Have you ever wondered, as I have, how someone with an addiction could go through 21 detox centers and 5 treatment facilities, yet continue to relapse? It wasn’t until I started working in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside—one of the most concentrated areas of drug use, mental illness, and poverty in North America—that I realized... The reason these treatments do NOT work is...
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Addressing Trauma and Building Resiliency as Comprehensive Disaster Planning and Response
The attached memo is intended to make observations about communities affected by disaster-related trauma, and to offer recommendations for trauma-informed recovery. Community examples provide case studies or models for other communities grappling with similar issues. Suggested resources and tools provide communities with support for accelerated action. Memo authors represent active cross sector networks that contribute to resilient community infrastructure development, awareness building,...
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Adoptive and Foster Parents – You are Doing Incredibly Hard, Good Work (www.thankfulmoms.com)
Great essay by Lisa Qualls from two parents (through adoption, fostering and birth) who created the Thankful Moms website. So, while this particular website has a lot of ads and a faith-based emphasis that won't resonate for all, it also has good resources and some stories about parenting and discuss trauma, attachment, grief, love, family and healing as well as their faith. My writing partner, Jennifer, once quipped that she wanted to write a post about how being a foster parent made her...
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An Open Letter to Teachers
My son and my daughter, like all the children who fill the desks in your classroom, come to school every day prepared to do the best they can and they will give you the opportunity to help them. My children may struggle in ways that frustrate you or in ways that you do not understand. They perceive, process, and express information differently than most people do.
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Belleruth Naparstek, Guided Imagery,Community Conversation, Wisdom & Resources
Belleruth Naparstek was the last featured guest in our Parenting with ACEs chat series last week. She is a psychotherapist, author, and guided imagery pioneer. She is the creator of the popular Health Journeys guided imagery audio series and author of Staying Well with Guided Imagery and Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They H eal. During the chat, Naparstek shared a bit about guided imagery and how and why it can be effective for those of us with ACEs and/or post-traumatic...
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Change Agent Podcast - Season Two Begins
Change Agent is back for a second season of conversations with innovators and creative leaders in the field of Family Violence Prevention and Advocacy. This Season includes six interviews with social entrepreneurs from various backgrounds in the San Francisco Bay Area. Next week begins the season with Cherri Allison, Esq., Executive Director of the Alameda County Family Justice Center. Ms. Allison practiced family law where she imagined the work of a Family Justice Center before these...
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Childhood Should Not Be Disrupted
People often ask me why I wrote # ChildhoodDisrupted . As a science journalist specializing in the intersection of neurobiology, immunology and emotion, I’d spent 20 years writing about the immune system and the human brain. When I came across the CDC’s # ACE Study (Adverse Childhood Experiences Study), it struck me like a lightning bolt. I realized that after 20 years of writing about how we become ill and how we heal, I had been missing a huge piece of what can cause disease. Chronic...