Tagged With "Caring for Our Community"
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Father's Day for the Rest of Us
How do you manage Father's Day as an adult? How did everyone do on Father's Day? It's one of those holidays that can be so complicated for many of us. Maybe there's angst, anger or ambivalence? Maybe there's appreciation too. I wrote about how it has shifted for me since I found that my father died. I didn't expect to feel so much relief. I love having a dead dad. For the first time in my life I know where he is on Father’s Day. He is not homeless, alcoholic, absent or violent. He is no...
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Fathers & ACEs Chat Today @ 10 AM EST / 1 PM EST & How to Leave a Question in Advance
Here's the link to today's online chat. Here's more about our guests and the topics we'll cover. Even if you can't make the live event - you can still leave questions, comments or resources related to Fathers, ACEs and Parenting with ACEs. Those will become part of the transcript which is saved online. See this image to find out where/how to add your comments or resources ahead of the chat.
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Fathers & ACEs with Trauma Dad & Father's Uplift CEO: Tuesday, September 12th
What supports exist to "uplift" fathers who have survived abandonment, abuse or torture as children? Where can men go to discuss the joys, struggles and issues of being a father with ACEs? Where are the men who face hard, heavy and complicated realities to make life easier and lighter for all who come after? We found two of them and they will be the featured guests in the next Parenting with ACEs chat . Meet Charles Clayton Daniels, Jr. of Father's Uplift and "Trauma Dad" Byron Hamel. Both...
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Fathers, Sons, and Intimacy: A Story of Moving Past Childhood Adversity
Seth’s natural impulse was to shy away from showing affection to his girlfriend. That made perfect sense to me since he grew up with a father who rarely showed affection to anyone in the family. Seth’s grandfather was an alcoholic who punished his children harshly. Seth understood his father received very little love and tenderness and probably never received any physical comfort like a hug or pat on the back. The lack of intimacy between father and son extended back through the generations.
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Fear Compromises The Health, Well-Being Of Immigrant Families, Report Finds [californiahealthline.org]
Luis Ramirez has lived in the U.S. without immigration papers for two decades, but he is more worried about deportation now than ever before. Ramirez said he and his wife, Luz Cadeo, who is also here illegally, have already made plans in case they are arrested by immigration police: The couple, who live in Lakewood, Calif., would try to find work in their native Mexico while their youngest U.S.-born children, ages 15 and 18, stayed in the U.S. with a relative. “We are taking it very...
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Fed Up With Deaths, Native Americans Want to Run Their Own Health Care [nytimes.com]
By Mark Walker, The New York Times, October 15, 2019 When 6-month-old James Ladeaux got his second upper respiratory infection in a month, the doctor at the Sioux San Indian Health Service Hospital reassured his mother, Robyn Black Lance, that it was only a cold. But 12 hours later James was struggling to breathe. Ms. Black Lance rushed her son back to the hospital in western South Dakota, where the doctors said they did not have the capacity to treat him and transferred him to a private...
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Finding Balance in Family [SocialJusticeSolutions.org]
One of the most important and difficult aspects of recovery work is finding balance in our lives. During our traumatic experiences, our inner parts split off in an attempt to keep us safe. In doing so, they stored their childlike beliefs until they had the opportunity to heal from their past experiences. And these beliefs consider the world from a black and white perspective. It is not a balanced view. But in healing, we can find that balance. Not surprisingly, it takes time and patience to...
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Five Effective Ways to Respond to Tantrums and Meltdowns (by Melissa Benaroya) (heysigmund.com)
Our children are going to replicate our behavior and emotional state because that’s how our brains are wired. The idea isn’t to change your children but to change how you show up and communicate with them. You know how yawning is contagious? Or how watching someone sip an icy cold lemonade suddenly makes you thirsty? That’s because of nerve cells in our brain called “mirror neurons”. We humans are social animals and connect through shared emotions and experiences. So when our children are...
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Five Things You Wish Your Community’s Early Childhood Programs Knew [CitiesSpeak.org]
By NLC Staff on May 10, 2019 Cities, towns, and villages are places of innovation and solution finding. If you want to improve early childhood wellbeing—local leaders are key partners. The Networks of Opportunity for Child Wellbeing (NOW) Learning Community is a program of Boston Medical Center’s Vital Village. The learning community’s goal is to support local early childhood coalitions and build their capacity to work together with the broader community to improve the wellbeing of our...
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Five Ways to Help Kids Manage Frustration [greatergood.berkeley.edu]
When parents hold their newborn infants, they naturally want what’s best for them. They want to protect them, nurture them, and give them all the opportunities to have a happy life. At the same time, however, children must learn to cope with frustrations and disappointments. Luckily, there are frustrations from the very beginning of life, such as when babies want a bottle and have to wait even a few minutes while you are preparing it. Later, as toddlers, they have to wait until they can get...
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FLYERS: Understanding ACEs & Parenting to Prevent & Heal ACEs
We are excited to share two flyers which can be downloaded, distributed, or used freely. One is brand new and the other is a revision. They are titled as follows (and attached below): Parenting to prevent and heal ACEs Understanding ACEs 1. Parenting to prevent and heal ACEs This brand new flyer us based on the work of Donna Jackson Nakazawa who worked with us and generously allowed us to paraphrase content from her book, Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology & How...
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For Parents with High ACE Scores
When I lecture at universities, advocacy groups, hospitals, schools, etc., I’m often asked: what advice do you have for parents who have high ACE scores if they are trying to raise children with fewer ACEs? Children with ACEs find “resiliency” because an adult provides a safe environment – in which they feel known, validated. So that means that the most important thing adults can do is to manage their own stuff. Self-regulation by adults is a first step to help kids self-regulate themselves.
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France's Early Learning / Positive Parenting Train set to launch tomorrow
"I'm not sure I like that metaphor!" Nathalie exclaimed. "I don't want to be burned at the stake!" I had just compared Nathalie to Joan of Arc, the symbol - for me - of the person willing to trust their inspired vision "against all odds," the person not fazed by the prospect of being considered crazy if it can just help to advance awareness of a new reality about which the general population is only dimly aware. Nathalie Casso-Vicarini is the creative genius behind France's Early...
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FREE COVID-19 RESOURCE: Fighting the Big Virus: Trinka, Sam, and Littletown Work Together
This story was developed in collaboration with the National Child Traumatic Stress Network to help young children and families talk about their experiences and feelings related to COVID-19 and the need to stay inside. In the story, the virus has spread to Littletown causing changes in everyone's lives. The story opens doors to conversations about family and community strengths, challenges and feelings related to COVID-19, ways grown-ups help children keep safe, and our gratitude for...
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Free DAILY Support: COVID-19 - Quarantined with Dr. B
Hi, I am Kristin Beasley (Dr. B) and have a PhD in Clinical Psychology with a specialization in Parent-Child Mental Health (PIMH) and a strong emphasis on Neuropsychology. I am a Professional Keynote Speaker, a Certified iPEC Coach, and an Organizational Trainer. As we face this unprecedented crisis, building community is more important than ever. We are isolated but we are not alone. We must tap into our resilient selves more than ever. Join my FB Live daily, yes, daily at 10AM PST as we...
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Free Live Webinar | Nurturing Mindful Families
Packed schedules, increasing responsibilities, and reliance on technological devices can affect how connected and supported we feel in our families. Together families can: Improve our ability to be fully present with one another Enhance the way we listen and communicate with each other Deepen our empathy for one another and decrease reactivity Expand our strategies for problem-solving and conflict resolution Wednesday May 1 Register Here 9:00-10:00 am (PDT) or 12:00-1:00 pm (PDT)
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Free Mind Matters Online Series -- Build skills to overcome anxiety and increase resilience
In appreciation of and support for the tremendous work you are doing under challenging circumstances, Dibble will be hosting a free, 12-week Mind Matters online series with Dr. Carolyn Curtis and Dixie Zittlow. Unprecedented times, such as these, are stressful and call for everyone to think about ways to help others and themselves. Thus, we see this as an opportunity to offer free, professional development and help you and your staff practice self-care. Join us as we teach the Mind Matters...
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FREE WEBINAR: Rules Without Relationships Lead to Rebellion: A Live Parent Interview
You can have all the limits and rules in the word, but without nurturance or relationship your child will rebel to your face or behind your back. And during the COVID-19 crisis, this risk increases as our stress level skyrockets. As a result, we tend to go strong on lecturing and limits. And our nurturance with our child or teenager can get put on hold or not attended to as needed. In this live interview with Sarah, a single parent mom, I discuss concrete and practical tools to parent with...
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From Promise to Practice: Aligning Housing and Services to Support Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence [howhousingmatters.org]
Historically, approaches to ending homelessness and those for ending IPV have operated, at best, in parallel. Despite evidence that domestic violence is a leading cause of homelessness among women , youth, and families and that abuse and its impacts continue long after survivors leave relationships, very few survivor-centered housing options exist . But this is beginning to change. Ending homelessness for families and youth is now a national priority. In response to this shift, several IPV...
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From the Archives: Dr. Kenneth Clark on Racism and Child Well-Being [hogg.utexas.edu]
From 1971 to 1983, former Hogg Foundation program officer Bert Kruger Smith hosted The Human Condition , a radio show that, across a span of 400 episodes, engaged a variety of notable guests in wide-ranging conversations on the things that make us human. In recognition of Black History Month, this episode of our Into the Fold podcast takes us back into The Human Condition’s archives with a 1974 broadcast featuring the late African American psychologist Dr. Kenneth Clark, whose innovative...
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From Trauma-Informed to Asset-Informed Care in Early Childhood [brookings.edu]
By Ellen Galinsky, Brookings Institute, October 23, 2019 The focus on “toxic stress,” ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences), and trauma-informed care have been game-changers in the field of early childhood development. They have helped us recognize the symptoms of trauma, provide appropriate assistance to children, and understand that prolonged adversity in the absence of nurturing relationships can derail a child’s healthy development. Just look at the media’s and the public’s reaction to...
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Frontiers of Resilience - Echo Changing the Paradigm Conference 2018
"Frontiers of Resilience" is the theme of Echo's Changing the Paradigm conference in March 2018 and we wanted to make sure that ACESConnection members got a preview of our not-to-be-missed speakers and workshops as well as a special discount (see end of article). The much anticipated Dr Ken Hardy will be speaking on the "Healing the Hidden Wounds of Racial Trauma." (He was scheduled to speak at our conference in March but a snowstorm prevented him from traveling.) The preeminent scientist on...
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Gathering in Topeka, Kansas for the Educators’ Art of Facilitation Chapter III
I never believed that a man who abuses anyone physically, emotionally or verbally is simply a monster.That's too simple.There is a reason why men do what they do, and don't do and in order to help men and women to not be hurtful to themselves or others we must as I said in my last post ”help them heal.” We must advocate for a world in which we don't punish, we transform. I have always believed this on many issues, from domestic violence to drug addiction to other acts of criminality. We...
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Gathering in Topeka, Kansas for the Educators’ Art of Facilitation continued
We can not solve problems from a distance from ourselves or from each other. The way we muster the courage to heal is to walk the journey together. Any effort to create policy change, structural change, or even programatic change will not succeed unless there is an explicit healing perspective. It begins with a deep understanding that we all come hurt and that those hurts often mean that in striving to relieve our own pain we hurt each other. “Hurt people, hurt people.” It is simplicity on...
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GEAR Up for Co-Parenting (Generational Education Aiding Resiliency)
We are very excited to introduce this new program at the Wexford / Missaukee Friend of the Court as our part of a larger scale initiative to build resilience in families and our community as a whole. As it relates to our clients here at FOC, our Gear Up program helps parents to identify separation and divorce as a common adverse childhood experience which can have lifelong negative affects throughout the lifespan. We hope parents will take away from it real tools they can use to minimize...
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Get results with better parenting conversations video series (www.successfulsurvivors.org)
I found a great series of parenting videos today . While they are geared towards helping foster parents communicate, build trust and handle challenging situations - the videos are great for all parents. The advice is kind, wise and sound - especially for those of us Parenting with ACEs. It’s nice to hear about parenting and traumatic stress in relation to working through real-life conflicts and situations. The videos are accessible and show how body language, shaming or the facial...
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Going beyond asking what happened: building beloved community
“Our goal is to create a beloved community and this will require a qualitative change in our souls as well as a quantitative change in our lives.”- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. “beloved community is formed not by the eradication of difference but by its affirmation, by each of us claiming the identities and cultural legacies that shape who we are and how we live in the world.” –bell hooks One of the most notable descriptors of trauma-informed care is shifting the question of what is wrong...
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Grace Mattern: The importance of recognizing white privilege [concordmonitor.com]
The last time you handled a challenge well, were you called a credit to your race? When you go shopping, do store clerks watch you closely or follow you? Do you have trouble finding a hair salon nearby that knows how to style your hair? When you buy greeting cards and magazines, is it difficult to find ones with people the same race as you? If you answered no to these questions, you’re almost certainly white. There’s also a good chance you’ve never looked at your whiteness this way.
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Grateful in a Grand Way
Children don’t come to live with their grandparents or relatives because everything is going great. The transition can be tough for the new family. As a grand“Parent” guardian of my grandson, I’ve written previously about the sad stuff, the tough stuff, and there’s a lot of it. It’s easy to get sucked into the negative, rehashing the entire past, the guilt, the anger, and projecting into an ugly future. Today is the last day of National Adoption Month. It is a month I celebrate, not as a...
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Great Basic Parenting Tips & Why I Have Such a Hard Time Sharing Them
At least once a week I struggle about what to share here. This is my most recent example. It's a series of tips on the U.S. Department of Education . These are great hand-outs with comprehensive information about child development that's not too long, abstract or hard to read. Here's the list (also attached below). I especially like the flyer for talking about feelings which has the tag line "Talking is teaching." And the short summary of milestones at different ages and stages from birth to...
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Great pandemic resilience building activities for youth by ITRC CA steering committee member Lil Milagro Henriquez
I hope everyone is staying safe during these perilous times. I wanted to share some of the resources that Mycelium Youth Network is putting together. I'm extremely proud of the programming that we've put together and the community partners that we're working with for these projects. We've put together comprehensive youth and adult programming all designed with mental, socio-emotional, and physical resilience in mind. A full listing of classes can be accessed on our website . All of our youth...
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Great resource to search ACEs-related legistlation, bills & resolutions (by state)
Hi Everyone: Just wanted to share a few tools. Did you know there's a database on the National State Legislators site where you can search by state and by ACEs? Here's the link to this amazing tool. Here's what the database looks like. Did you know you can find ACEs and Ti laws and resolutions on a page of the Mapping the Movement tool? This is maintained by our technology lead, @Samantha Sangenito. Just be sure to click on the state you're interested in to see the bills and...
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Greatest Mother’s Day Gift
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. I have been given the greatest gift a mother could ask, my daughter- back. Last year a month before Mother’s Day I began a heart wrenching journey. My oldest daughter was in a serious car accident. She suffered a traumatic brain injury, broken neck, broken back, broken foot, but she was alive. She was a single mom. I became the guardian of my toddler grandson. I wasn’t prepared to become a mother in that way again. I was prepared to be a doting, spoiling...
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Group Name Change
Hi folks, In order to streamline our efforts, the "Infant Bonding and Community Support" group will now be called "ACEs In Parenting." The "ACEs In Parenting group will focus on ACEs-, trauma-informed, and resilience-building education,...
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Growing Up in Today's World is NOT Easy: One Student's Story
Growing up in today's world is NOT easy. I have heard hundreds of students tell me this. Despite this fact, many of them have also told me that many of the adults in their lives don't seem to understand this, including parents, teachers, and society. Adults who are disconnected from the reality of the lives of the youth that they are around will not be able to completely understand how to provide the support that might be needed for those youth needing it most. I recently met a young woman...
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Growth through Trauma-Informed Strategies: Coaching and Consultation with Rick Griffin
There is a Chinese proverb that states, “If you want 1 year of prosperity, grow grain. If you want 10 years of prosperity, grow trees. If you want 100 years of prosperity, grow people." The benefits are evident, yet the real question becomes, “how do you grow people?” This Big Idea Session, CRI’s Trauma Coaching and Trauma Consultation Training, answers this question. Schools, organizations, and parents are discovering that the traditional “command and control” style of working with...
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Guilt vs. Shame (www.nicabm.com)
There's a blog post by Ruth Buczynski, PhD on the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine website that links to a great infographic explaining the difference between guilt and shame. It's worth checking out. What I found most helpful though is something I've never really heard of or understood - irrational guilt. Irrational guilt is defined as "a feeling of psychological discomfort about something we've done against our irrationally high standards." Who knew? I...
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Handling Your Child’s Challenging Behaviors at Every Age: New Parenting Guide from Yolo Child Abuse Prevention Council/Yolo County Children's Alliance
The Yolo County Child Abuse Prevention Council (CAPC) and Yolo County Children’s Alliance (YCCA) are excited to share our new parenting guide: Handling Your Child’s Challenging Behaviors at Every Age. This resource for parents and caregivers provides positive discipline tips and resources to handle challenging behaviors in babies, toddlers, preschoolers, school-age children, and teenagers. Each age group page has: tips on how parents can connect with their child, some common challenging...
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Listening to Ebony Stewart's Voice: The Complexity of ACEs (www.youtube.com)
Ebony Stewart doing spoken word about her father and her mother and childhood from an adult perspective. Ebony Stewart doing spoken word about adverse childhood experiences and adverse community experiences as lived. Ebony Stewart speaking about speaking up and silence and using her voice and the experience of being threatened and silenced. Too often, when we talk about ACEs we aren't speaking in first person or about the complexity of real-life experiences. Often, we're speaking in general...
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Happy Mother's Day! Remembering The Greatest Generation of Moms...
“I waited.
And waited…
And then…I waited some more.”
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Harvard Infographic on ACEs and Toxic Stress
This was just posted by Harvard. I thought all of us could use access to it, for use in our schools and the settings we work in. The full image is on the attached PDF.
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Healing ACEs
I am writing you this post as a past president of the Michigan Association of School Psychologists and adoptive father of two foster children with special needs. My wife, Barbara, and I have written two books concerning educating and raising abused and abandoned children. Because these books will be helpful to both parents and teachers I am posting this letter to education and parenting pages. They are: Some Way Home – A Memoir in a Myth and Crossing Infinity – Healing Our Children Ourselves...
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Healing Developmental Trauma
Last week I posted an article about the Harvard study on happiness, which found that strong social connections are the primary driver of happiness. No surprise there. What struck me, however, is how these findings relate to ACEs. I had just finished reading Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship , which addresses this very issue. From the back cover: “Although it may seem that people suffer from an endless number...
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Healing in place: Game on to flip the COVID19 threat into a positive experience for our children
As I was considering the children sheltering-in-place this morning and reflecting on lessons from my own childhood, I wondered: Can we heal-in-place too? I was born after the 1962 Cuban missile crisis, another collective trauma affecting everyone. Yet, it was nevertheless passed on to me by the adults in my life in the form of constant reminders that the U.S. could be blown into bits any second. When I started school, there were constant “hide under the chair” earthquake drills I took to be...
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Healing Is Possible
I devoted half of my book, Childhood Disrupted , to science-based interventions on how individuals can heal from the effects of ACEs. Here are some of the basics. H ere are some really important healing steps we can all take – which the science shows can help reverse the changes to our brains and DNA that might have occurred, growing up with ACES Writing to heal. Research shows individuals who write about emotional upheavals and stressful experiences for 20 minutes each day, over a period of...
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Healing Our Ghosts Podcast Debuts (www.wrestlingghosts.com)
Healing Our Ghosts is a new podcast created by filmmaker, Ana Joanes who describes it as follows: Cissy White Victor Lee Lewis, MA Elizabeth Kemler Joyelle Brandt
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Healing Our Ghosts Podcast Series in 2019 (www.wrestlingghosts.com)
Ana Joanes, the Director of the film, Wrestling Ghosts has a new podcast series and it's fantastic. If you are hungry for honest conversations about developmental trauma, healing, how ACEs impact children and the adults we become, you will want to tune in. The most recent guest is Sebern Fisher, author of Neurofeedback for Developmental Trauma: Calming the Fear-Driven Brain . It's one of the best interviews I've heard with Sebern (and I've listened to lots). There are interviews with varied...
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Health Care System Fails Many Transgender Americans (npr.org)
In the basement of Casa Ruby in Washington, D.C., transgender men and women in their late teens and 20s, mostly brown or black, shared snacks, watched TV, chatted or played games on their phones. Many of them, said Corado, are part of the 31 percent. That's 31 percent of transgender Americans who lack regular access to health care. The finding comes from a new poll by NPR, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. Corado pointed to one crucial word...
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Health Starts at Home
Hello, I thought I would post a little bit about the Health Starts at Home project we have began in West Virginia and some of the tools we are providing to parents. Our project is in a federally qualified health center and is aimed at screening for ACEs in children and prenatal patients. We are hoping to capture patients and children who have experienced 4 or more ACEs and provide information, education and resources to alleviate the effects of the toxic stress ACEs cause. In terms of...