Tagged With "Terrible, Thanks for Asking"
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Toxic Childhood? 5 Spiritual Exercises to Heal the Soul (psychologytoday.com)
How to bolster and support recovery with simple steps Some soul work can support and aid the healing process, and the following are suggestions for exercises you may want to incorporate into your recovery. 5 spiritual exercises to smooth the way Give up your affirmations and ask questions instead Create a blessing bowl Become a gardener of spirit Take a real look at the child you were Create a letting go ritual The ideas in this post are drawn from my books, most notably Daughter Detox:...
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Tracing One’s Family ACEs Tree to Break the Familial Cycles of Alcohol Misuse
My marrying an alcoholic never made sense to me. My mother developing the disease of alcoholism never made sense to me, either. And why my loved ones couldn’t get it together to stop or wrest control of their drinking was equally confusing. Yet I churned around and in and through this muck for almost four decades before my world was split wide open. It was 2003 and one of my loved ones entered a residential treatment program for alcoholism. I remember experiencing a giddy – “I knew it, I...
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Transforming NJ Child-Care Centers into Nurturing, Trauma Informed & Trauma Sensitive Environments: One non-profit’s successful pilot
With a lot of discussion nationally surrounding the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACES), trauma and resilience it is certainly a topic that still needs to reach educators and parents alike. A recent survey showed that only 10% of early childhood educators had ever heard of ACES, yet 100% reported wanting more information about how trauma impacts children’s behaviors. While teachers certainly notice behaviors in the classroom, they often feel overwhelmed or unsure of the best way to...
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Trauma, Attachment, and Relationships
Interventions in the Attachment and Relationship Problems Trauma Can Cause Julie De Wilde Alfred Adler Graduate School Abstract Much research has been done on the negative effects of trauma on attachment, which then has negative effects on relationships. Research more recently has focused on the positive post traumatic growth that can happen when clients receive safe, healthy attachment to a therapist they can trust. Research also includes the benefits to the client when a therapist includes...
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Trauma-Informed Parenting: What Adoptive & Foster Parents Can Help Teach, Part 1
People sometimes feel bad for adoptive parents. They think maybe our kids say, "You're not my real parents" on a daily basis and that we go to bed crying each night because we can't have kids of our "own." Do they think we had to "settle" for adoption or fostering? Do they worry we feel less than as parents? We don't. It's true that some of us have fertility issues. And maybe have grief about that. It's true that our children may love us and their birth parents, foster family members. It's...
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Trauma tried to kick down the door. Compassion is helping me heal.
The artwork is an original piece titled "Someone at the Door" by Chicago artist Ken Shaw. I bought it about 35 years ago. (The first part of this piece was written in-the-moment, as an email to a friend following what, for me, was a traumatic experience. The second part of this piece was written about 10 days later, as part of a healing reflection. It occurs to me that this experience, and the reflections, might help someone else experiencing trauma and/or seeking compassion for self or...
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Troubled moms and dads learn how to parent with ACEs
A father in county jail is ordered to take a parenting class, but isn’t too enthusiastic about it. As part of the class, he learns about the ACE Study, and does his own ACE score. “Oh my god!” he announces to the class. “I have 7 ACEs.” His mother’s an alcoholic. His dad’s been in and out of jail. He himself started dealing drugs at age 11, and doing drugs at 14. “I’ve got two kids at home experiencing the same things I did,” he says. The light bulb goes on. A few days after a woman who’s...
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Two Parkland Suicides Highlight the Lasting Impact of Trauma. Here's How Parents and Teachers Can Help Teens Who Are Struggling [time.com]
A pair of recent suicide deaths in Parkland, Fla., serve as a stark reminder of the lingering effects of trauma — and underscore the importance of providing long-term support to those who are living with its consequences. Just days after 19-year-old Sydney Aiello, who survived the mass shooting at Parkland’s Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School last year, died by suicide , police confirmed that an unnamed current student at the high school had also died by “apparent suicide .” Police did not...
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Two Parkland Suicides Highlight the Lasting Impact of Trauma. Here's How Parents and Teachers Can Help Teens Who Are Struggling [time.com]
A pair of recent suicide deaths in Parkland, Fla., serve as a stark reminder of the lingering effects of trauma — and underscore the importance of providing long-term support to those who are living with its consequences. Just days after 19-year-old Sydney Aiello, who survived the mass shooting at Parkland’s Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School last year, died by suicide , police confirmed that an unnamed current student at the high school had also died by “apparent suicide .” Police did not...
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Two Texts to Show One Difference Between a High and Low ACE Score
I was leaving the house on the way to do something brand new and scary a few weeks ago. My two close friends, Heidi and Kathy, both sent me a text. One has an ACE score of 10. One has a below 4 score. The text from Kathy reminded me that I am loved and safe. She sent me a sticky note with affirmations and attempted to calm my nerves by reminding me that humans are caring and curious and want to know what others have to say. The other text was from Heidi. It said, "Beast mode today." That was...
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Updating Our Resources - Will You Help?
When it comes to finding tools to help you properly address trauma within the family system, what is the single greatest challenge or frustration you’ve been struggling with?
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Us and We with Wentworth Miller (www.goalcast.com) & Commentary
How we think, feel and experience the world in survival mode is not the same as we think, feel and experience it when safe. Even if we know this intellectually we might not know or remember how this feels. I saw this video of Wentworth Miller on my friend's timeline. I guess he's a tv star but that didn't matter to me. It was his words that captured my attention. He talks about growing up in survival mode as a child. It's not just that he shared his own story but how he connects his own...
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Want To Teach Your Kids Self-Control? Ask A Cameroonian Farmer (www.npr.org)
I saw this article linked on the Vital Village Facebook page today. It's fascinating. Now for the first time, there's a study reporting on what happens when psychologists give the marshmallow test to kids outside Western culture, specifically 4-year-old children from the ethnic group Nso in Cameroon. " The Nso are a community who live off subsistence farming, mainly corn and beans," says Bettina Lamm , a psychologist at the Universitaet Osnabrueck, who led the study. "Most of the children...
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Webinar Slides and Recording: Building Resilient Communities with Elaine Miller-Karas
Recorded live August 8, 2019. Find the slides attached below. The 1 hour video recording can be found on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/BUyY0FMjv8s Speaker: Elaine Miller-Karas, MSW, LCSW, Executive Director and Co-founder, Trauma Resource Institute. Host: Carey Sipp, Southeast Community Facilitator, ACEs Connection. Webinar Description: This webinar will explore integrating a biological based model to reduce the impacts of toxic stress for children and adults. It is a model both for...
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[WEBINAR] Starting & Growing Resilient Communities: How to Tell Your Community Story GRC 2.0 Celebrate
ACEs Connection presents, "Starting & Growing Resilient Communities: Online & In Real Life (IRL)", an interactive webinar training series focused on developing existing and potential online community managers and IRL ACEs champions. This series is dedicated to providing insight into creating sustainable and effective online & IRL ACEs initiatives. In this fifth session, we’ll talk about why it's so critical to tell your story far and wide. This incudes how to blog and share...
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West Africa ACEs CONNECTION: Chasing solutions for own ACE Score
Even though I have excelled in practically all endeavors that I set out to do and have succeeded in new learning, I continued to have flash backs of certain events from my past and residual anger on certain things. I was first introduced to Trauma theory when I was working in an Outpatient clinic for Men in 2001. The Trauma Recovery Empowerment Model TREM was the philosophy practiced in conjunction with Boston model of psychiatric rehabilitation at the clinic. The concept of recovery made...
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What If I Told You?
What if I told you that I was a victim of child sex abuse? As a survivor of child sexual abuse , I have a clear understanding of the importance of addressing stigma and shame as it pertains to sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape. Victims, especially young children, often do not disclose sexual abuse. Those who are witnesses of child sexual abuse, or who are trusted by survivors enough that they confide in them, are often ill-equipped to handle the responsibility. And, many times, parents...
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What Nobody Tells You About Parenting A Child With A History Of Extreme Trauma (www.huffingtonpost.com) & Commentary
Thank you to ACEs Connection member @Emily Read Daniels for sharing this essay written by Chris Prange-Morgan . It's a great read even if you are not a parent, have never adopted, or worked with families formed through adoption who deal with the complications of trauma and loss. I love this piece for so many reasons. I t's beautiful and heart-opening personal memoir. It's honest about parenting, still a rare thing. It speaks about the difference between studying trauma and living...
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What Parents Need to Know: School Reports to CPS, Communicating with the School, and Advocating for Your Child (www.risemagazine.org)
Excerpt from an interview by Ray Watson, Shakira Paige, Sarah Harris and Keyna Franklin with the Bronx Defenders as published in Rise Magazine. Read entire i nterview by Ray Watson, Shakira Paige, Sarah Harris and Keyna Franklin with the Bronx Defenders as published in Rise Magazine.
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What Renee Taught Me About Why Some People Harm Themselves
Why do people cut themselves? Here's a story of my work with Renee and how we helped her find better ways to deal.
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What’s Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness? [Minful Leader]
By David Treleaven A few months ago, a colleague who taught meditation in corporate settings asked for my advice. A woman in one of his programs had experienced sexual harassment in the workplace, and she was now experiencing symptoms of traumatic stress. When she’d meditate, images and sensations would flood her field of consciousness, leaving her more rattled than before. “Should I keep meditating?” she’d asked him. “I want to work with my stress, but practicing seems to be making things...
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When Is It Sex, and When Is It Sexual Abuse or Assault?
By understanding the difference between sex and sexual abuse, trauma survivors can understand that unwanted touching they experienced in the past was not sex. Sex is always consensual in a way that feels safe and pleasurable. Abuse occurs without your consent, and is never your fault.
Ask the Community
School Council, School Improvement Plans, ACEs, Diversity & Help?
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community: I'm wondering if anyone has worked ACEs-related language into a School Council School Improvement Plan? I'm on the School Council for a charter school and we're looking at improving parent engagement., in general, and as part of that I'm trying to introduce two topics: 1) ACEs and 2)Race, Class & Parent Involvement We have kids from 30 different communities and 1/3 of the students are Haitian. The other 2/3 are mostly but not entirely Caucasian.
Ask the Community
We are the We
Cissy White and I were talking about the Parenting with ACEs (this group as well as the process of parenting with ACEs). We got animated, excited and went on and on and on (as we often do when we get to talking!) We decided to write a joint blog post to tell you about our conversation and ask you to weigh in on what you want. Read on our attempt at a combined post: Gail's voice - I called to ask if Cissy thought there was need for a place on the Parenting with ACEs group site for parents to...
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Show & Tell
Show don't tell is the first bit of advice almost every writer gets. Don't give facts if words can form an image. Don't say a song was fast-paced if words can tap quickly, instead, across the page. It's good advice but when it comes to ACEs we need both. We need to tell and show and tell again. There's resistance to telling. We need facts and data and proof. And we need stories. Both. Over and over and over. So the facts come with faces. So the data is as pressing as a poem. I can write...
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"Social Justice- Parents have the right to know the most powerful determinant of their children's future health, safety and productivity." [NEAR@Home Toolkit]
NEAR@Home Toolkit: A Guided Process to Talk about Trauma and Resilience in Home Visiting Home visiting professionals are uniquely positioned to talk with parents about what we are calling NEAR Science — Neuroscience, Epigenetics, Adverse...
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Spokane, WA, public health nurses create trauma-sensitive toolkit for parents/caregivers
Public health nurses at Spokane Regional Health District (SRHD) developed a 178-page toolkit -- 1*2*3 Care -- for caregivers of children. They define caregivers as parents, g randparents, child care providers, teachers, and others who care...
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Sponsorship Opportunity to Help Community Resilience Initiative
CRI is seeking various levels of sponsors for our Fourth Annual Beyond Paper Tigers conference. We would love if you would consider partnering with us to assist our community's education, best practices, and treatment strategies. Sponsorships will help pay for speakers, meals, supplies, and conference activities. To partner with us at our highest gift level- as a lead sponsor- would bring profound impact to our conference. We would be grateful for the honor of calling you our lead sponsor,...
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Strengthening Families Framework TRAINERS
Thirty more individuals in the states of California, Indiana, and Alabama were just trained to be a trainer of the Strengthening Families Framework from the National Alliance of Children's Trust and Prevention Funds. This is HUGE! That makes slightly over 1,000 total from the 50 states. But what happens now? We have newly trained trainers trying to reach out and converse with everyone and anyone, with local Health and Human Services Agencies, with local schools, fire departments and police...
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Strengthening Families: Increasing positive outcomes for children and families [www.cssp.org]
We engage families, programs, and communities in building key protective factors. Children are more likely to thrive when their families have the support they need. By focusing on the five universal family strengths identified in the Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework , community leaders and service providers can better engage, support, and partner with parents in order to achieve the best outcomes for kids. How We Do It The Strengthening Families framework is a...
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Study Finds Foster Kids Suffer PTSD (www.thecrimson.com) & Commentary & Images
I shared the blog post below on ACEsConnection a little while ago. I keep thinking about images when it comes to PTSD and also ACEs. The cultural image of PTSD is something that still tends to be of soldiers. How do we go about changing that. I'm hoping a better understanding of ACEs, in the general public, will eventually change the images we tend to have and use as well. But what images should be shown? What images do people have of ACEs and what do we hope they (we) will have? I know even...
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Suicide: How You Can Make a Difference (nimh.nih.gov)
The recent deaths of high-profile public figures and a new Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report on rising suicide rates have brought the topic of suicide into everyday conversations. It’s important to know some facts and to know what to do if you think someone might be at risk for self-harm. A crisis can pass with time and the most important thing is to stay safe through the crisis and get help. 5 Action Steps for Helping Someone in Emotional Pain Ask: “Are you thinking...
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Talking to Children About Tragedies & Other News Events [healthychildren.org]
After any disaster, parents and other adults struggle with what they should say and share with children and what not to say or share with them. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) encourages parents, teachers, child care providers, and others who work closely with children to filter information about the crisis and present it in a way that their child can accommodate, adjust to, and cope with. No matter what age or developmental stage the child is, parents can start by asking a child...
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Talking to Children about Tragedy & Other News Events [healthychildren.org]
By Healthy Children, American Academy of Pediatrics, July 2019 After any disaster, parents and other adults struggle with what they should say and share with children and what not to say or share with them. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) encourages parents, teachers, child care providers, and others who work closely with children to filter information about the crisis and present it in a way that their child can accommodate, adjust to, and cope with. No matter what age or...
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Talking to Your Teen About Mental Health and Depression (Without Saying ‘Mental’ or ‘Depression’) (heysigmund.com)
Day to day ups and downs are a normal part of adolescence, making it difficult to distinguish between normal teenage moodiness and depression. Teens might not always be able to articulate what they’re going through, and they might not want to talk about it to you, but starting the conversation will help to protect their mental well-being. One of the best things you can do for your teen in your life is to let them him or her know that you’re available to talk on their terms . Here are some...
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Talking Tough Topics with Kids: Chat Event Right Here!
Hi Everyone! Our first monthly chat is scheduled for May 9th. I'm so excited. The topic is great and so is our guest. I hope you can attend. Cissy Location: Online / Parenting with ACEs Group It’s hard to know if, when and how to talk to children about abuse, addiction and ACEs. How do we find the right words or time? Please join Beth O’Malley , our special guest for the first in our Parenting with ACEs chat series . Beth has dedicated her life to supporting kids, adoptees, parents and...
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Taming the Dragons: Helping Children Cope: Ages Birth to Twelve Years
Taming the Dragons is a training manual for parents, foster parents, and kinship caregivers. It was developed out of a crisis nursery in WA state by Sue Delucchi. English and Spanish versions attached here for free downloads.
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Teaching 6-Year-Olds About Privilege and Power (kqed.org)
On a sunny day in April, I drove to Head-Royce School in the hills of Oakland, California, to join circle time in Bret Turner ’s first-grade classroom. I had asked Turner if I could sit in on some lessons after reading an article he wrote describing how he teaches about some surprising topics -- like race and class -- in an elementary school classroom. I wanted to see what that looked like and what kind of conversations first-graders at this private school would have around such complicated...
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Tell Me About You
O.k., we're growing here and that's exciting. If you are willing to share, please do tell me a bit about you and what you are looking for/hoping for and wanting to add or get as it relates to parenting and ACEs. This part of my introduction, the questions, is sincere. I REALLY do want to learn more about you. What are your experiences, questions and needs? How has learning about ACEs impacted you? What are your struggles and your successes as a person or a parent with ACEs? What tools or...
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The Absence of Punishment in Our Schools
Where to begin... My heart is full of hope and joy as I watch the trauma-informed schools movement swell across our nation and planet. The science of ACEs is mind-bending to say the least and we are now able to open up a much deeper dialogue about human behavior and health. Ultimately this work is about healing… All. Of. Us. A new consciousness is taking root around ending the “us vs them” construct. The idea is growing that we’re all on this journey together and that no matter where our...
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The Amazing Brain Series (www.instituteforsafefamilies.org)
Here's a link to several great downloads I'm adding to the Parenting with ACEs resource section. I've attached one of the five so you can get an idea of content and visuals. The downloads are all free and if you want colorful handouts those are available for purchase.
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The Building Blocks of HOPE – Block #1: Relationships
HOPE is a natural fit for ACES Connection. To further embrace the members of ACES Connection we have created a Balancing ACES with HOPE community and encourage all to visit and join. Please read our blogs and post your comments. Let us know how you think HOPE could impact your work and personal life. Being in nurturing, supportive relationships are critical for children to develop into healthy, resilient adults. This concept forms the first of the 4 Building Blocks of HOPE . What types of...
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The Building Blocks of HOPE – Block #2: Environment
We have been so encouraged to hear how HOPE (Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences) is a natural fit for ACES Connection. Children who grow up in safe, stable and equitable environments are less likely to experience poor mental and physical health as adults. It is crucial to ask caregivers about the types of environments their children are experiencing. Celebrate the positive and work with families to help ensure their child has the opportunity to live, learn and play in safe and...
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Report Features Newly-Released Data to Support Positive Child and Family Well-Being
A new report produced in partnership with Casey Family Programs illuminates the importance of HOPE—Health Outcomes of Positive Experiences, a framework that studies and promotes positive child and family well-being. Balancing Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) with HOPE presents newly-released, compelling data that reinforces the need and opportunity to support families and communities in the cultivation of relationships and environments that promote healthy childhood development. It also...
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[Repost] Trauma-informed Care: It Takes More Than a Clipboard and a Questionnaire
California is about to launch an ambitious campaign to train tens of thousands of Medi-Cal providers to screen children and adults up to age 65 for trauma, starting on January 1, 2020. It is well-established that the early identification of trauma and providing the appropriate treatment are critical tools for reducing long-term health care costs for both children and adults. Research has shown that individuals who experienced a high number of traumatic childhood events are likely to die...
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Resource List -- Spanish-Language ACEs Science Resources
Looking for Spanish-language handouts or information for presentations? Find Spanish-language resources here.
This resource list is organized in alphabetical order.
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RESOURCE: Parent guide information
Please share the with the families you serve the attached a 2-page document for parents and caregivers about the parent guides that Yolo County Children's Alliance has produced as a project of the Yolo County Child Abuse Prevention Council (CAPC). All of the guides are available at www.yolokids.org/forfamilies . There are some hard copies of the following guides and we would love for them to get into the hands of parents. Please let me know if you would like some of these materials!
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Resources for Supporting Children's Emotional Well-being during the COVID-19 Pandemic [childtrends.org]
By Jessica Dym Bartlett, Jessica Griffin, Dana Thomson, Child Trends, March 19, 2020 The following guidance, recommendations, and resources are provided by child trauma experts at Child Trends and the Child Trauma Training Center at the University of Massachusetts. The Center is housed at the University of Massachusetts with Child Trends as the lead evaluating agency, with funding from SAMHSA and the National Child Traumatic Stress Network and additional support from HRSA. While the Centers...
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Response from Heather Turner to Question from Colette Ryan about Trauma-Informed Parenting Resources
Here's another private email I got last week that I'm eager to share to keep this dialogue going. Clearly, people are looking for more about trauma-informed parenting and interested in the question posed by Colette Ryan. These are Heather Turner's thoughts. She shared them via email and I asked if she'd allow them to be shared with the wider group. Luckily, she agreed. Please add your own thoughts, feelings and insights to this conversation. I was forwarded a copy of your email in which...