Tagged With "children's books"
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Introducing the Full Potential Parenting Podcast!
I'm excited to announce that The Full Potential Parenting Podcast is here! This podcast features short (6-12 min.) segments with stress release techniques that work, offers book reviews of books that have been transformational, informative, or inspiring, introduces concepts critical to any parent of a child who is experiencing big (and confusing) emotions and behaviors, and provides insights about non-pharma approaches to healing. The first few episodes are now available on iTunes here:...
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Is ACEs Advocacy Worth Risking Professional Backlash?
"Don't you worry an employer will see the personal stuff you have shared online?" ****** When I began writing publicly about my life and experiences with depression, and as a parenting with an ACE score of 9, my career in the mental health field was already on hold. At the time, I was a stay at home mom who needed an outlet. Now being back in the field, I sometimes get asked the question above. Truth is, yes, I do worry. But not for the reasons you may think. It has more to do with my feet,...
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Is Nothing Something? (lionsroar.com)
Thich Nhat Hanh answers children’s questions. Children have a special place in the Plum Village tradition of Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. There are special practices, vows, and programs designed especially for children and teens, and Thich Nhat Hanh often fashions the first part of his dharma talks with them in mind. He regularly takes questions from children, and by and large adults can identify with what they ask. Children may be smaller and younger and they may have a funny way with...
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Is Technology Bad for the Teenage Brain? (Yes, No and It’s Complicated.) (edsurge.com)
It’s a question as frustrating as a hangnail, asked virtually every time I give a public lecture on teen brain development. It’s some form of: “is the digital world bad for the adolescent brain?” In my most recent book “Attack of the Teenage Brain,” I give an example of papers from two separate research groups examining video games and attentional states. Their findings reveal how not-ready-for-prime-time our answers are. Social media, contrary to its reputation, actually seems to improve...
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Is Your Teen Obsessed with Social Media? Here’s why that may be a very good thing.
By Sara Hare Published: July 25, 2014 When it comes to kids and social media, most of the discussion to date has been directed by parents looking for ways to stop the equivalent of a runaway train. “How do I set limits?” “What...
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It Makes Sense
I felt inadequate and ill-prepared to speak to licensed mental health professionals about ACEs. But when I was asked to attend the 40th Annual Training Institute on Behavioral Health & Addictive Disorders in Clearwater, Florida to represent ACEs Connection, I was honored and eager. My background is in health planning, not mental or behavioral health. I review health data and look for gaps and inequities. My time is spent looking for and addressing the health needs of a community. So,...
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It's Not Always Depression, Sometimes It's the Holidays
There are many myths and “shoulds” about how families and holidays should be: Families should love each other. Families should get along. Holidays should be fun. Reality, however, does not reflect these “shoulds.” The facts are: many people do not have happy families, happy family memories or happy holidays. Therefore, holidays and families can trigger us into states of anxiety, shame, and misery. Perhaps your parent or child is mean to you, or you have an active alcoholic uncle that makes...
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Jane Stevens Interview on Breaking the Silence Radio Program Sunday, Oct. 27
Jane Stevens will be the special guest this Sunday evening on the "Breaking the Silence with Dr. Gregory Williams" radio program. The LIVE radio program begins at 8:00 pm CST, Oct. 27, 2019, and the entire hour will be dedicated to Jane and her work with ACEs Connection. The "Breaking the Silence" radio show has over 1.6 million weekly listeners to the LIVE program and then the show goes to over 110 podcast networks around the world the following week. The host of the program is Dr. Gregory...
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Junk Journaling for Resilience (During COVID-19)
This is an activity that came to me during a time of incredible turmoil and hardship for my family, and it quickly became my go-to practice to shift out of fight-or-flight, gain perspective on my situation, find peace in the chaos, and sort through my many colliding thoughts and feelings about the impossible time we were in. It was how I metabolized, sifted, and found my right way through a significant family crisis. It honestly saved me/us, in part because it is so fun, easy and feels good!
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Kids of Color Often Shut Out of High-Quality State Preschool, Research Says [blogs.edweek.org]
By Andrew Ujifusa, Education Week, November 6, 2019 A study of 26 states and their preschool programs finds that as of roughly two years ago, a mere 1 percent of Latino children and just 4 percent of black children in those states were enrolled in "high-quality" state-backed early-learning opportunities. That's one main conclusion from a new report from the Education Trust, an education civil rights advocacy group. "Young Learners, Missed Opportunities: Ensuring That Black and Latino...
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When Your Kid is Too Good for Brené Brown
Childhood, like literature, lasts." Lance Woolaver, paraphrased from his book, Maud Lewis: The Heart at the Door. Even in the midst of conflict, I have known moments of maternal bliss. I had one just recently when my daughter and I hit a snag. It wasn't one of the ugly, awful or prolonged kinds. That's not due to me though. That's mostly because my kid has a practical, logical and rational nature which does not clash with my more emotional, reactive and fearful one. We are alike enough to...
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Why do all these #ACEs affect the brain in similar ways?
Many people ask me: How is it that what we might think of as less severe or “milder” trauma (living w/ depressed or alcoholic or verbally abusive parent) can change the brain in the same way as physical or sexual abuse? WHY do all these # ACEs affect the brain in similar ways? We know that kids who are growing up with what we might think of as more common, living room variety traumas, such as a depressed or alcoholic parent, or being chronically put down, or humiliated by a p arent, or...
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Why Early Experience Matters: Videos of Famous Scholars
Scholars know so much about the importance of early experience--you should too! Every animal has a nest, including humans. What does the nest look like and why does it matter? A 2010 symposium brought together anthropologists, clinical, developmental and neuro-scientists to discuss this question in light of evolution and human development. This is necessarily an interdisciplinary area of study because we have to know our history as social mammals, what optimizes our development in our...
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Why I’m Writing a Book About the Most Important Problem Facing Men and Their Families To [GoodMenProject.com] & Chat Reminder
Cissy's Note: The next chat is next Tuesday. The topic is Fathers & ACEs and it will be held live, here, at 10 AM PST/ 1 PM EST. Here's the link to the chat event. I’ve been writing books that help men and the families who love them since my first book, Inside Out: Becoming My Own Man, was published in 1983. Getting books published that focus on men is never easy. The perception in the publishing world continues to be that men don’t read books about men’s issues (unless it’s a sports...
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Why Intentionally Building Empathy Is More Important Now Than Ever (kqed.org)
Those in helping professions like teaching, social work, or medicine can buffer themselves from burnout and “compassion fatigue” with self-care strategies, including meditation and social support . A study of nurses in acute mental health settings found staff support groups helped buffer the nurses, but only if they were structured to minimize negative communication and focused on talking about challenges in constructive ways. English Professor Cris Beam also studies empathy and wrote a book...
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Why Kids With ACEs Shouldn't Get a Pass on Chores
Don't worry that chores are too stressful for kids with ACEs, says trauma researcher Bob Sege, MD. “You don’t want to coddle them,” Sege said, “because the message they will get is that they are damaged goods. They need to know that the adversity they suffered is only one part of them; it’s not all of them.”
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Why Parents Need a Little Self-Compassion (greatergood.berkeley.edu)
Some parents misunderstand self-compassion and dismiss it as being self-centered, indulgent, or lazy. They fear it might lead to self-pity or that, if they aren’t tough enough, their kids will slack off and won’t be motivated or disciplined. But a growing body of research by Kristin Neff and her colleagues suggests that self-compassion is an antidote to self-pity. It helps us cope with tough situations like divorce and trauma, keeps us motivated, and helps us be more supportive and caring in...
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Why We Shouldn’t Shield Children From Darkness (www.time.com) & Note
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Will the Pandemic Have a Lasting Impact on My Kids? [greatergood.berkeley.edu]
By Diana Divecha, Greater Good Magazine, May 18, 2020 Massive unemployment. Stunning loss of life. Disrupted education. An economy in freefall. These are the ingredients for tectonic social shifts that alter the arcs of human lives. Parents are always at the fulcrum of such pressures, protecting their families while trying to hold together a semblance of normalcy. For 100 years, developmental scientists have studied how families and children respond to disasters, manmade and natural. From...
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Women Who Were Sexually Abused as Children: Mothering, Resilience, and Protecting the Next Generation by Teresa Gil
I've just learned that ACEs Connection member, Teresa Gil , has written a book of interest to those of us who care about Parenting with ACEs. The title is Women Who Were Sexually Abused as Children: Mothering, Resilience, and Protecting the Next Generation . Here's an excerpt about the book. Here's a link to the book with more information about the book, author, and a few reviews. I just ordered my own copy and will share more after I've read the book. Please comment or post about other...
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Wrestling Our Ghosts Podcast: Parenting with PTSD
A summary of what to expect during the Wrestling Our Ghosts podcast where @ana joanes (director and podcast host) interviews @Joyelle Brandt (activist, artist, author, and guest) from the Wrestling Ghosts website:
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Writing to Heal, Yoga to Feel & Survivor-Led Resources Online
I love yoga and writing. I need yoga and writing. Both are relatively affordable and can be done alone and at home or in community. Both have been central to my survival, recovery and growth which I write about below. I also love sharing and supporting survivor-led resources created for survivors and others. Here are two links to those if you want to get to those right away. There are more details about each following the essay: Write Your Story, Heal Your Life Summit: Alaura O'Dell...
Ask the Community
Being present was the most exhausting part of parenting
I used to sneak away for a hot bath as often as possible when my daughter was in the need-me-every-minute years. I'd soak long past when the water went cold and I felt guilty at times but sometimes I needed to be alone. To read poetry. To have some physical space. To exhale. I didn't always know where or how to pamper or self-care myself. There were few adults I trusted. I believed in attachment-style parenting and wanted to be there all of the time. And that even made me feel guilty when I...
Ask the Community
Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
Let's create a list of resources useful for parenting ourselves and children. These can be books about child development or self-help books or a work of fiction that had important wisdom. If there's a title that's helped you or someone you know, love or work with as it relates to parenting, please share. For me, my absolute favorite is this: There's Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber This book is not about parenting. It's not about how-to parent I should say but it...
Ask the Community
Can Trauma-Informed Mermaids Help Children & Families? (New Kids Book Series)
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community, We just launched a new trauma-informed children's book series called Venus and Her Fly Trip . The series has been developed in collaboration with therapists, educators, parents and healers and is designed to promote mental/social/emotional health, body positivity and imaginative play in kids 4-10 , with the ultimate goal of preventing self-hatred. I would greatly value hearing the feedback of the ACEs community on this endeavor, and welcome your ideas for...
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Native American Children Protected in Groundbreaking Foster Care Settlement [youthtoday.org]
By Bette Fleishman, Youth Today, May 8, 2020 For decades, we have repeated and recapitulated: Our nation’s foster care system is broken. New Mexico, which receives the lowest markers of child wellbeing and the second-highest level of childhood poverty, has, not coincidentally, one the worst child welfare systems in the nation. It is largely coercive and punitive, and disproportionately targets low-income children of color. Further, 23 Native American tribes and pueblos are located in the...
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New Resource - Pre-Father Care: Prenatal Care for Fathers
Hello! I am writing to share a wonderful new resource from the Vital Village Network’s friend and partner, Charles C. Daniels, Jr. Charles is the Founder and CEO of Fathers’ Uplift, which works to assist fathers in overcoming barriers (financial barriers, addiction barriers, oppressive barriers, emotional barriers and traumatic barriers) that prevent them from remaining engaged in their children’s lives. Charles’s book “Pre-Father Care: Prenatal Care for Fathers” is now available for...
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New York Expands Eligibility for Kin Who Want to Foster Children [chronicleofsocialchange.org]
By Rachel Nielsen, The Chronicle of Social Change, November 14, 2019 When caseworkers remove children from their homes and place them into foster care, it can be jarring and traumatic. A new law in New York aims to ease the transition by enabling a wider circle of family members and even non-relatives to become the kids’ foster parents. That law, which Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) signed in late October, broadens the definition of relatives. Previously, only certain blood relatives of a parent of a...
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“No Coincidence, No Story.” Lisa See Inspires (www.healwritenow.com)
(Cissy's note: This is a post my sister, Karyn White Doherty, wrote for my blog about an event she organized with her book club. I share it here because it's about loss, grief, and ACEs as well as about what heals - relationships, community, and sharing stories. If you have been dealing with extreme weather or life conditions the last few days, and find reading or writing to be a soothing and wonderful escape, I hope you enjoy this. My sister is the best!) How does an author bring about...
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No More White Saviors: Let People Lead Their Own Movements [yesmagazine.org]
The time we’re living in requires an extraordinary understanding of who we are, what we’re working toward, and how to get there. As people committed to social justice in the time of Trump, we have a twofold challenge: resisting an administration that came into power through an election won on the dehumanization of marginalized people, while also being mindful not to reproduce the devastating hierarchies that mimic that power. So far, we’ve largely come up short. A new book by Jordan...
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Now is the Time to Be, not Do (interpersonalinsights.blog)
With Covid 19 keeping most of us at home, now's the time to let our lives catch up to us and envision a new future.
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Nurturing Children During Times of Stress: A Guide to Help Children Bloom by Yolo CAPC and YCCA
The Yolo County Child Abuse Prevention Council (CAPC) and Yolo County Children’s Alliance (YCCA) are excited to share Nurturing Children During Times of Stress: A Guide to Help Children Bloom. This guide for parents and caregivers, which we are launching during Child Abuse Prevention Month, contains tips and resources that parents and caregivers can use to promote resilience in their children and themselves. Nurturing Children During Times of Stress explains the effects of intense stress or...
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Office of Children's Mental Health Focuses on Helping Communities Prioritize Children’s Mental Health with New Fact Sheet [children.wi.gov]
From Wisconsin Department of Health Services, May 6, 2020 Ahead of Children's Mental Health Awareness day tomorrow, May 7, Office of Children’s Mental Health Director Linda Hall today announces the publication of a new fact sheet focused on prioritizing children’s mental health in Wisconsin and how our communities can do that. Highlights include: Almost half of high school students in Wisconsin are feeling anxious A child typically experiences symptoms of emotional distress for 11 years...
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Online Book Group with the Developmental Enthusiast
I just received Bridging the Relationship Gap: Connecting with Children Facing Adversity. It is written by Sara Langworthy, PhD. who is also a You Tuber. Her content is engaging and accessible. Anyhow, she's starting an online book study group and parents and professionals and people who care about ACES might want to participate. CEU's are offered. She is also got a discount code for her book and is making it available via audio for those who prefer listening rather than reading as I...
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Opioid Addiction: Advice for Parents
Given the way the media portray opioid addiction, it's natural to react with panic or moral outrage when you discover your child struggling with the problem. It's not natural to calm down and try to view your child as someone who is using opioids to cope with serious problems, though that is likely the case, according to research.
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Pam Wessel-Estes: Member Spotlight & Amazing Video about Parenting with ACEs
I spend a good amount of my time begging people to let me share details about the work they have done and are doing. I don't mind because there's so much that needs to be shared. Like the work of Pam Wessel-Estes, one of our own Parenting with ACEs group members. Please check out this You Tube video she produced with her son, entitled, Personal and Parental Reflections on Adverse Childhood Experiences. It's fantastic. It has all the personal warmth of a personal video but all the sound and...
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Parent with ACEs: Is it Time to Change Your Parenting Playbook [sfbayview.com]
By Diana Hembree, San Francisco Bay View, February 1, 2020 If you experienced severe hardship as a child, are you more likely to have children with behavior or mental health problems? The short answer is yes. A recent UCLA study shows that the children of parents with four or more Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), such as abuse or neglect, are twice as likely to develop ADHD, which makes it more likely children will become hyperactive and unable to pay attention or control their...
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Parenting: A Cultural Perspective from Dr. Darcia Narvaez and Others
My first foray into the world of social services led me to become involved with what I thought was an under-appreciated aspect of parenting: the role of a father and the problems caused by an absent father. I drew from my own experience growing up. My parents first separated when I was about four-and-a-half years old. There were four children in our family. The youngest was only about six months old when the separation happened. My parents reconciled long enough for a fifth child to be...
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Parenting after ACEs: Small Changes & Huge Differences (www.healwritenow.com)
Cissy's note: I was on a stay-cation last week and had some time to write and blog. Here's an except from my latest piece.
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Parenting as an Abuse Survivor (www.ElephantJournal.com) PTSD
My cultural pride is shame. My cultural pride is shame. My native tongue is a memory I try to scrape clean so mud doesn’t cake out of my mouth. My greatest gift of maternal love is to insist she get no heirloom. My gift is to break the cycle. And what I give her is something I didn’t own as a child. Safety. Comfort. Responsiveness. Love. Attachment. I am not a child-girl-victim. I’m a mother-woman-adult. OK, I am, and will always be, both. (This is an except from “ Little Girl Riding Shotgun...
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Parenting in a Pandemic [medium.com]
By Damon Korb, Medium, March 16, 2020 It is a well-known fact that children thrive when there are routines. This time of year most children wake up, get dressed, eat their breakfast, head off to school where they move from class to class, come home and have a snack, do some homework, have some free time or participate in an afterschool activity, eat dinner, and then get ready for bed. The daily life for most children is pretty mapped out and organized. But, as children suddenly need to stay...
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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
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Parenting’s Troubled History
As we learned from the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study , negative childhood experiences are often kept secret, downplayed, or repressed because of our powerful desire to put such things behind us. Unfortunately, our minds and our brains don’t work that way. Patterns can play out automatically, no matter how hard we try to be original and create our own realities. Just as it is important to know family medical history (e.g., diabetes or tuberculosis) it is equally important to know about our...
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Parenting through the Storm Book Review
Parenting Through the Storm: Find Help, Hope, and Strength When Your Child Has Psychological Problems , is written by Ann Douglas. The author, a member of this group and network , has a warm, open and honest tone. She's a parent and gets that parents and kids are sometimes or even often scared, struggling and in crisis. She knows. She writes about the time she almost lost her daughter, thirteen at the time, to death by suicide. Her daughter was vomiting and sleeping, restlessly, all night...
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‘Parenting Through the Storm’: How Restorative Narrative made it possible for me to tell my family’s story (www.ivoh.org)
When I made the decision to write a book that told my family’s story, I knew I had to do so in a way that was rooted in love and respect. Yes, it was a story about struggle, but it was also about so much more than that. It was also a story of family strength and resilience. That’s what drew me to Restorative Narrative — a narrative style that emphasizes strength in the midst of struggle. Adopting this perspective allowed me to tell my family’s story and to share the experiences of the other...
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Parenting With ACEs: How You Can Support Your Toddler [sfbayview.com]
By Diana Hembree, San Francisco Bay View, November 11, 2019 “My 2-year-old keeps falling down when he tries to walk.” “My son is almost 24 months old, but all he can say is ‘mama’ and dada.’” “She just turned 2, and she still can’t follow the simplest instructions.” When your toddler misses a developmental milestone, like taking her first steps by age 2, it’s natural to fret. After all, in very rare cases, such delays may be a sign of an underlying condition. But a recent study suggests that...
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Parenting with ACEs Resources: Power Sharing & Sharing Powerfully
Sharing as a trauma survivor, parent (via adoption), writer, and advocate, I'm going to detail what I find crucial in any program or perspective geared towards those currently parenting with ACEs. Most important, is that any program be survivor and peer-led (or co-led). If that's the only change done, it's a good one. Who shares content, and how, is as important as the content being shared. So often, programs to parents are patronizing, punitive, and can come across as "edupuking" all over...
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Parenting with PTSD & ACEs Chats Highlights & How to Find Chat Transcripts
Here are some answers to questions I've had about chats as well as a summary of the highlights from last week's chat . Chat Format The chats are done via typed messaging (no audio or visual). Chats are an hour-long and allow for discussion as well as Q&A. All are welcome to Parenting with ACEs chats. You don't have to have kids or ACEs to attend - though it's fine if you one or both :) You can post questions to a chat ahead of time and review a chat transcript after it has ended.
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Parenting with PTSD Book Cover
I can't wait to read this book. The cover is beautiful and tender. This parenting (with ACEs, with PTSD) is sacred, hard and important work. We need all the resources and support we can get. This book has more than a new cover. While the Trigger Points Anthology had honest essays from those of us parenting after abuse, this one has that plus new chapters and expanded and in-depth resources. There's lots more about ACEs, as well, and s Some of the new chapters are written by our own ACN...
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Parents worrying about coronavirus' toll on children's learning survey finds [edsource.org]
By John Fensterwald, EdSource, April 23, 2020 Buffeted by the coronavirus’ impact on their lives and on schools, Californians expressed worry about the spread of the pandemic and their personal finances, and parents in particular said they were concerned about school closures’ impact on their children’s ability to learn. But in an annual voter survey by the Public Policy Institute of California , they also gave high marks to Gov. Gavin Newsom’s handling of K-12 education and to their school...