Tagged With "Foster Parents"
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WEBINAR: Surviving Family Trauma in Unusual Times - A Live Parent Interview
Dr. Scott Sells, the Founder of the Family Trauma Institute and an expert with families, interviews Sarah, a single parent mom, with four children. The COVID-19 pandemic has brought sudden change and stress to an already traumatized family. Sarah discusses the challenges and how the practical tools on knowing her children's love language combined with a clear written plan is a game-changer to help stabilize her family. If you are a parent or professional who wants concrete tools to help your...
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West Africa ACEs CONNECTION: Chasing solutions for own ACE Score
Even though I have excelled in practically all endeavors that I set out to do and have succeeded in new learning, I continued to have flash backs of certain events from my past and residual anger on certain things. I was first introduced to Trauma theory when I was working in an Outpatient clinic for Men in 2001. The Trauma Recovery Empowerment Model TREM was the philosophy practiced in conjunction with Boston model of psychiatric rehabilitation at the clinic. The concept of recovery made...
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What Exactly is a Toddler Tantrum?
Several years ago NPR had a story about temper tantrums, describing a study showing that the sounds children make during a tantrum indicate that they are primarily sad rather than angry. The written version of the story opens with description of tantrums as " the cause of profound helplessness among parents." I thought this was an interesting choice of words, as I have always thought of tantrums as representing a sense of helplessness in children. In fact, in my over 20 years of practicing...
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What If I've Given My Children Bipolar Disorder? (www.ravishly.com) & Commentary
We just had a chat about talking about hard topics with kids earlier this month. This article is about that. It's beautifully written and honest. I admire memoir writers who break silence about parenting with mental illness and/or emotional pain. Lots of people struggle but few write, speak or share about doing so. As a result a whole lot of people feel alone and might suffer more shame and pain even when help is available. Articles like these can help. Stories can challenge or refine our...
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What is Neglect? (www.risemagazine.com)
We use the word "neglect" a lot but not everyone is clear on how that is defined. Here's a piece posted by Rise Magazine last week. What is neglect? The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) defines child neglect and abuse as: “Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation, or an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.” Full piece.
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What Mothers Need to Succeed (www.usanews.com)
Article by Susannah Wellford. I'm sitting on the couch next to my son James. It's Mother's Day, late afternoon, and we are watching a dumb movie on TV procrastinating making dinner and doing homework. It is the happiest I have been all day – hanging out with my son, doing nothing. A lot of my favorite parenting moments are like this. I find a tremendous amount of joy just being with my children, not doing anything special. I appreciate this together time all the more because I know how...
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What Nobody Tells You About Parenting A Child With A History Of Extreme Trauma (www.huffingtonpost.com) & Commentary
Thank you to ACEs Connection member @Emily Read Daniels for sharing this essay written by Chris Prange-Morgan . It's a great read even if you are not a parent, have never adopted, or worked with families formed through adoption who deal with the complications of trauma and loss. I love this piece for so many reasons. I t's beautiful and heart-opening personal memoir. It's honest about parenting, still a rare thing. It speaks about the difference between studying trauma and living...
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What Parents Need to Know: School Reports to CPS, Communicating with the School, and Advocating for Your Child (www.risemagazine.org)
Excerpt from an interview by Ray Watson, Shakira Paige, Sarah Harris and Keyna Franklin with the Bronx Defenders as published in Rise Magazine. Read entire i nterview by Ray Watson, Shakira Paige, Sarah Harris and Keyna Franklin with the Bronx Defenders as published in Rise Magazine.
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What's Right with US!
Thoughts on the shift from, "What's wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?" Dear Monadnock Thrives & ACEs Connection: I have to admit, it has taken me some time to understand the value of shifting from, “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” As a person with high ACEs, I realize I have been absolutely conditioned by our culture to resist the victim label (I resist thinking about what happened to me) and to ‘own’ my response to whatever has happened to me (I must pursue...
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What to Do When She Says #MeToo [psychologytoday.com]
Most parents want their children to confide in them about their problems. Unfortunately, if you have a daughter, there is a real possibility that one such problem may be that of sexual harassment or violence. A study from Harvard University found 87% of girls have experienced sexual harassment and the CDC reports nearly one in three women have experienced some form of sexual violence victimization. Being a victim of sexual violence or harassment is one of the biggest problems that a teenager...
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What to Do When You Lose Your Cool at Your Daughter (www.motheringanddaughtering.com)
The mother mentor in my life told me about this mother-daughter duo a few years ago. I checked out Sil and Eliza Roberts but their written words didn't resonate with me at the time. They seemed too wealthy or healthy or happy or capable. I just couldn't relate to them. I couldn't imagine mothers and daughters speaking this way, at all, never mind with one another.Plus, they weren't talking about trauma, loss or adversity or the struggles of people with addiction, disease or ACEs in the past...
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What Your Teen Wishes You Knew About Sex Education [npr.org]
By Cory Turner and Anya Kamenetz, National Public Radio, February 11, 2020 Cora Breuner was sitting at home one day about to do a little work on her laptop. "I remember, when I opened my computer, I looked at my son — who shall remain nameless — and I said, 'Why is this porn site on my laptop?'" "I'm an adolescent male, Mom." It would have been an awkward moment for just about any parent. Then again, Breuner isn't just any parent. She's Doctor Cora Breuner, and she works in the adolescent...
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When a Child's Parent has PTSD (www.ptsd.va.gov) & Commentary
Note: There's so little written on this topic. This piece by Jennifer L. Price, PhD is one of the few that talks about the impact on kids when a parent (or parents) have PTSD. It's good to understand our impact on our children. It's nice that veterans with PTSD are not the only parents being discussed. However, this shows that the prevailing idea of PTSD-suffering is often mischaracterized or misunderstood. For those parenting with ACes, it's not so much that trauma is some single, horrific...
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When a Child's Parent Has PTSD (www.va.gov)
I came across this resource today. Sadly, it doesn't talk about the large number of parents who have PTSD from ACEs, developmental and complex trauma instead of or as well as combat-related PTSD. But, it's nice to see the topic of parental PTSD and the way it can impact children being discussed. Here's an excerpt: Introduction Researchers have examined the impact of Veterans' PTSD symptoms on family relationships, and on children of Veterans in particular. Understanding how these symptoms...
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When ACEs Are Held By More Than One Generation, The Outcomes Are Concerning [AAPPublications.org]
The role that adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) play in the physical and mental health of individuals as they age has been well described. What has been less understood is what effect ACEs in a parent might have in their children—until Le-Scherban et al. ( 10.1542/peds.2017-4274 ) decided to study that question in a new study being released this month in our journal. The authors used linked data between parents living in the Philadelphia area and their past exposure to ACES with their...
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
Ask the Community
restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
I'm looking for all things related to the concepts of restorative parenting (Ehrhart and Mathews work), working with parents who have high ACE scores and risky parenting behaviors or even CPS involvement, supporting reconnection and repaired parent-child relationships, etc... Curriculum, research, books, articles...you name it! I'm on a mission! Thanks
Ask the Community
School Council, School Improvement Plans, ACEs, Diversity & Help?
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community: I'm wondering if anyone has worked ACEs-related language into a School Council School Improvement Plan? I'm on the School Council for a charter school and we're looking at improving parent engagement., in general, and as part of that I'm trying to introduce two topics: 1) ACEs and 2)Race, Class & Parent Involvement We have kids from 30 different communities and 1/3 of the students are Haitian. The other 2/3 are mostly but not entirely Caucasian.
Ask the Community
Using the World Cafe Model for ACES
Minnesota Communities Caring for Children has been doing Parent Cafes for several years. We are piloting an ACE Cafe for parents/grassroots communities and would like to know if anyone has used this model for this purpose? We will do three cafes with the following topics. Cafe I- The Study Cafe II Brain Science Cafe II Becoming Self Healing Communities We are looking for partners to help us create questions for each Cafe.
Ask the Community
We are the We
Cissy White and I were talking about the Parenting with ACEs (this group as well as the process of parenting with ACEs). We got animated, excited and went on and on and on (as we often do when we get to talking!) We decided to write a joint blog post to tell you about our conversation and ask you to weigh in on what you want. Read on our attempt at a combined post: Gail's voice - I called to ask if Cissy thought there was need for a place on the Parenting with ACEs group site for parents to...
Ask the Community
What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?
Hi Everyone: I'm building out the resources for this group. I'd love to know what you have needed in your own parenting or in the work you have done/are doing with parents parenting with ACEs. If there are any good books, videos, handouts or anything you've heard are helpful, please share. If you have any comments or insights that you've said or heard people talking about needing, like more community or places to learn how to parent differently, etc., please share those as well. Thanks so...
Calendar Event
Free Trauma Webinar: How to Engage Parents
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She once called the cops on a fellow parent. Here's why she wishes she hadn't. (upworthy.com)
Well-meaning strangers are frequently quick to intervene by calling authorities, which can cause undue stress and trauma for both the child and parent when that person has read the situation wrong. It can even be extraordinarily dangerous for people with disabilities and families of color . Concern for the well-being of others is a good thing. But concern without empathy hurts everyone. She wants to encourage people to reach out and help each other whenever possible, and not to assume the...
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Show & Tell
Show don't tell is the first bit of advice almost every writer gets. Don't give facts if words can form an image. Don't say a song was fast-paced if words can tap quickly, instead, across the page. It's good advice but when it comes to ACEs we need both. We need to tell and show and tell again. There's resistance to telling. We need facts and data and proof. And we need stories. Both. Over and over and over. So the facts come with faces. So the data is as pressing as a poem. I can write...
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Simple Solutions to Real Barriers
My name is Rebekah Couch and I am a former teen mother of five children, the youngest child being my only clean and sober pregnancy allowed to remain in my care. I am a survivor of multiple sexual assaults and was afflicted with untreated mental health issues as an adolescent. My destructive journey began with self-medicating and illegal activities in junior high and a daily cocaine addiction by the age of 15 that eventually advanced to methamphetamine abuse. My addiction and criminal...
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Social Emotional Learning (SEL) and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) (www.traumainformedoregon.org)
As a Certified Prevention Specialist for Wasco County, I am often asked at what age should a parent start talking to their child about the risks of alcohol, tobacco and other drugs. My answer to that question has dramatically changed over the last several years and it has to do with a combination of 6 letters . . . SEL and ACEs. SEL stands for Social Emotional Learning and ACEs stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences. These two acronyms are receiving attention individually but YouthThink...
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Social injustice and inequality in the care system Part 1: How professionals can inadvertently make things worse (www.psychchange.org)
Cissy's note: One of the best blogs I've read recently and describes why I am passionate about sharing information about ACEs/Pair of ACEs personally and professionally but don't support universal #ACEs screening of adults or children, particularly parents and survivors of ACEs. I still worry that ACE scores will be used to further marginalize, shame, and other individuals and families. We know, thankfully, that #ACEs happen to all people, regardless of class, race, gender, etc. which is...
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Split: Divorce Resource (www.split.org) & Commentary
"When I'm with my Mom I miss my Dad. When I'm with my Dad I miss my Mom. I'm always missing someone." Katie, my cousin said those words when she was not yet in first grade. It was heartbreaking and sad. When my daughter's Dad and I divorced, my daughter wasn't as emotional, at first. When we told her that her Dad and I were separating, and assured her, "It's not your fault," she said words I'll never forget. "Why would it be my fault?" She thought that was ridiculous and silly. That was a...
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Spokane, WA, public health nurses create trauma-sensitive toolkit for parents/caregivers
Public health nurses at Spokane Regional Health District (SRHD) developed a 178-page toolkit -- 1*2*3 Care -- for caregivers of children. They define caregivers as parents, g randparents, child care providers, teachers, and others who care...
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Standing Strong – The knowledge, skills and peer support parents need to lead (www.risemagazine.org)
Cissy's note: I admire the work of this parent-led and parent-focused organization. I read everything they post. For those not familiar with what they do, this is a recent interview with three staffers and gives a really good look at what and how they work to support families and make systems change. Here's an excerpt. The full piece is here. To read more of this piece recently published in Rise Magazine, go here.
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Star Neuroscientist Tom Insel Leaves the Google-Spawned Verily for … a Startup? (www.wired.com) & Commentary
I wonder if ACEs science is known, considered or used by a neuroscientist such as Insel? I read stories, like the one below as a parent and a trauma survivor and am as fascinated as I am troubled. My hope is that technology and health data tracking will be used to better treat people and to treat people better? Here are some excerpts from an interesting article in Wired which was written by Adam Rogers: Insel’s hopes for research have always been outsized. You might remember the...
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Strengthening Families: Increasing positive outcomes for children and families [www.cssp.org]
We engage families, programs, and communities in building key protective factors. Children are more likely to thrive when their families have the support they need. By focusing on the five universal family strengths identified in the Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework , community leaders and service providers can better engage, support, and partner with parents in order to achieve the best outcomes for kids. How We Do It The Strengthening Families framework is a...
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Strengthening the System through Parent Voice – The more child welfare can support parents using their voices during their case, the better equipped they’ll be to solve problems down the road (risemagazine.org)
This is a speech Jeanette gave at the Schuyler Center as part of a panel on innovations in child welfare reform. Today I will talk to you about what’s needed in child welfare reform from a parent’s perspective. That is voice—parents having a powerful voice in their cases and in the system. Today I will speak to you about four ways you can give parents a voice to be heard: Help parents see that the child welfare system wants to help families—through prevention programs. Give parents a parent...
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Supporting Evidence Building in Child Welfare Project Evaluation Opportunity Announcement
The Supporting Evidence Building in Child Welfare Project , a five-year project of the Urban Institute, to support the Administration for Children and Families, is increasing the number of evidence-supported interventions for the child welfare population by conducting rigorous evaluations and supporting the field in moving toward rigorous evaluation. The project focuses on evaluating interventions that already have some evidence of effectiveness and are currently operating or those that will...
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Survivor-Led Advocacy Initiatives
It's not trauma-informed if it's not informed by trauma survivors. I say this as a trauma survivor but even more as someone who has worked at a shelter for homeless families at a time when my own father was homeless. I saw class differences cause clashes that went beyond clumsy and awkward moments. People were hurt and dis-empowered at times by the very staffers working hard, and for low pay, to help. I was in college, and with only that as a qualification, told, during my first interview,...
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Survivor-Led Resource: Finding Wholeness Survivor Yoga Retreat (www.zabieyamasaki.com)
I just heard about an amazing 3-day workshop coming to CA in 2017. It's led by a trauma survivor who is also a trauma-sensitive trained yoga teacher. Her name is Zabie Yamasak and she's the founder of Transcending Sexual Violence Through Yoga. I interviewed Zabie a few years ago when writing a series of profiles about trauma survivors who have created non-traditional healing programs for other trauma survivors. This workshop includes yoga, hiking, massage and reflection. It's inaccessible...
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System Changes Could Improve Relationships between Incarcerated Mothers and Their Children [chapinhall.org]
By Amy Dworsky, Colleen Schlecht, Gina Fedock, et al., Chapin Hall at the University of Chicago, March 2020 The dramatic increase in the number of women in state and federal prisons in recent decades has led to calls for gender-responsive policies and practices that address the needs and circumstances of incarcerated women and recognize the central role that motherhood plays in many incarcerated women’s lives. This brief describes the results of a project undertaken by researchers from...
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Talking ACEs
It’s two plus weeks since Oprah talked developmental trauma on 60 Minutes and introduced the world to the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study and ACE Quiz o n national television. I’m still flying high and committed to 30 days of posts about developmental trauma from ACEs. However, it is time for some digital diversity and the brilliant and varied voices of ACEs experts. These talks are all available online, for free, and can be understood whether one has a Ph.D. or PTSD – or both.
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Talking Tough Topics with Kids: Chat Event Right Here!
Hi Everyone! Our first monthly chat is scheduled for May 9th. I'm so excited. The topic is great and so is our guest. I hope you can attend. Cissy Location: Online / Parenting with ACEs Group It’s hard to know if, when and how to talk to children about abuse, addiction and ACEs. How do we find the right words or time? Please join Beth O’Malley , our special guest for the first in our Parenting with ACEs chat series . Beth has dedicated her life to supporting kids, adoptees, parents and...
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Taming the Dragons: Helping Children Cope: Ages Birth to Twelve Years
Taming the Dragons is a training manual for parents, foster parents, and kinship caregivers. It was developed out of a crisis nursery in WA state by Sue Delucchi. English and Spanish versions attached here for free downloads.
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Teens & Stress (Webmd.com & Nysteachs.org) Plus Commentary
My daughter didn't sleep well one night this week. She was looking forward to seeing friends back at school. But there are so many new kids in her grade and she's heard there's lots more home work this year. One the way to school she said she was "exstressed" (excited plus stressed). Back to school time can be a busy and expensive time for many of us. Our kids may be sleeping less, struggling with homework demands and social pressures while trying to keep up with jobs, responsibilities or...
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Tell Me About You
O.k., we're growing here and that's exciting. If you are willing to share, please do tell me a bit about you and what you are looking for/hoping for and wanting to add or get as it relates to parenting and ACEs. This part of my introduction, the questions, is sincere. I REALLY do want to learn more about you. What are your experiences, questions and needs? How has learning about ACEs impacted you? What are your struggles and your successes as a person or a parent with ACEs? What tools or...
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Echo Parenting to incorporate ACEs into parenting classes
By Jessica LeTarte, Echo Parenting In an effort to bring the best information and tools to our participants, Echo will be introducing the Adverse Childhood Experiences ( ACEs ) survey and a corresponding resiliency survey into our parenting ...
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The Amazing Brain Series (www.instituteforsafefamilies.org)
Here's a link to several great downloads I'm adding to the Parenting with ACEs resource section. I've attached one of the five so you can get an idea of content and visuals. The downloads are all free and if you want colorful handouts those are available for purchase.
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The Building Blocks of HOPE – Block #1: Relationships
HOPE is a natural fit for ACES Connection. To further embrace the members of ACES Connection we have created a Balancing ACES with HOPE community and encourage all to visit and join. Please read our blogs and post your comments. Let us know how you think HOPE could impact your work and personal life. Being in nurturing, supportive relationships are critical for children to develop into healthy, resilient adults. This concept forms the first of the 4 Building Blocks of HOPE . What types of...