Tagged With "Child-Rearing"
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Re: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
Thanks, Jackie. That's a great way to respond. I'll use it!
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Re: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
To Jane and Jackie: I love Jackie’s great response to Jane’s question. I totally relate to the fear and hatred I felt when I was physically punished! Here are a few more thoughts: Usually I ask what lesson spanking imparts that couldn’t be achieved with compassionate communication. Invariably, those who sanction spanking respond that young children do not have the cognitive ability to understand verbal reasoning. Hence, a 2-year-old needs a smack to learn not to run out in front of a...
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Re: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
Cissy: I completely relate to what you say. Until he was about three years old, my oldest son was a screamer—vicious temper tantrums during the day and screaming all night long. I felt wholly inadequate as a parent as it seemed that friends’ babies were blithely floating through life. So at the urging of many friends and relatives, I tried letting him cry it out. But it was torturous for me and I couldn’t keep it up so we just sort of muddled our way through. Fortunately, I started reading...
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Re: Parenting’s Troubled History
Kristen: Thank you for posting this. It's so detailed and interested. I learned a lot. I just heard a discussion on NPR yesterday about how kids need empathy because of that Sesame Street segment teaching it. http://wfae.org/post/sesame-study-kindness One of the things they said is that many bullies have excellent manners and sometimes the emphasis on politeness is overdone because it doesn't necessarily equate with kindness. I thought that was interesting. I agree that the hate speech in...
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Multiple Factors Predict Higher Child Care Costs for Low-Income Hispanic Households [hispanicresearchcenter.org]
By Danielle A. Crosby, Julia Mendez, National Research Center on Hispanic Children & Families, May 28, 2020 Cost is a key factor shaping families’ decisions about whether and when to use different types of child care arrangements for children. Recent federal guidelines suggest that affordable child care should cost no more than 7 percent of a family’s income. Yet, national analyses indicate that the average market price of formal child care (e.g., centers and licensed or regulated family...
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I learned the impact of prolonged exposure to stress from my foster child [washingtonpost.com]
By Jenn O'Connor, The Washington Post, June 6, 2020 You know what stress is, right? You’re late for work, your car won’t start, gas costs more than you expected. We’ve all been there, and it’s not pleasant, that palm-sweating, heart-racing anxiety. Luckily, it’s not long-lasting — not toxic. What is toxic stress? It’s prolonged adversity and/or abuse — not having enough to eat or being exposed to violence. It’s the kind of stress that puts you on edge and keeps you there, day after day after...
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Connecting the Brain to the Rest of the Body: Early Childhood Development and Lifelong Health Are Deeply Intertwined [developingchild.harvard.edu]
By National Scientific Council on the Developing Child, Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University, June 10, 2020 We know that responsive relationships and language-rich experiences for young children help build a strong foundation for later success in school. The rapidly advancing frontiers of 21st-century biological sciences now provide compelling evidence that the foundations of lifelong health are also built early, with increasing evidence of the importance of the prenatal period...
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Column: How parents can help a child with post-traumatic stress disorder [milforddailynews.com]
By Lauren Barry, The Milford Daily News, June 27, 2020 When most people think of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) they likely picture an adult who has been in combat, a serious accident or experienced violence. Children can also have PTSD either from experiencing trauma directly or witnessing it. Childhood trauma can be from a specific event like a car accident or dog bite, but it can also include witnessing domestic violence or enduring neglect or abuse. Children diagnosed with PTSD...
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Loving An Orchid: Understanding Child Abuse Trauma's Impact [psychologytoday.com]
By JoAnn Stevelos, Psychology Today, August 21, 2020 As a child, I was an orchid but lived like a dandelion. I have always prided myself on my resiliency, for surviving a long and painful childhood filled with abandonment, psychological, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse . Child abuse can do that to you—give you a false sense of self and what resiliency really looks like. Resiliency is not just surviving. This false narrative of resiliency can take years to undo. One approach is to try...
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With less money and more risk, waves of child-care providers call it quits [latimes.com]
By Rikha Sharma Rani, Los Angeles Times, August 22, 2020 Kirsten Hove and her mom have been taking care of kids in San Francisco for decades. Hove’s mother opened a day-care program in her home in the city’s Marina neighborhood more than 30 years ago. In 2006, Hove and a family friend expanded the business by opening sites in their apartments nearby. The days were long, but the women loved the work. What took years to build, however, was dismantled by the coronavirus in just a few months. [...
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Day Care, Grandparent, Pod Or Nanny? How To Manage The Risks Of Pandemic Child Care [npr.org]
By Katherine Harmon Courage, National Public Radio, August 21, 2020 Pre-pandemic, about half of U.S. families reported having trouble finding care for a young child. That number jumped to nearly two-thirds this spring as day cares closed and other caretakers, such as grandparents and nannies, were told to stay home. And with many schools operating remotely, in a hybrid model or abruptly changing course this fall, many more parents, including those with kids in elementary school and beyond ,...
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Seven Steps to Calm an Explosive Child
Are you exhausted by the explosive behaviors of the children you love? First, I want to say I am so proud of you. I know the fatigue and frustration that comes with parenting a child who feels out of control. The fact that you are reading this article means you are looking for support and guidance, and that means you are on your way to helping the children in your life. And believe me, you are probably already doing a better job than you think! Kids need you to show up more than anything!
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Early Child Care & COVID-19: The Science of Transmission, Safe Practices, Stress and Resilience [ucsf.edu]
From University of California, San Francisco, September 9, 2020 Please join UCSF's Early Success Clinic Collaborative for a panel discussion on "Early Child Care & COVID-19: The Science of Transmission, Safe Practices, Stress and Resilience" on Thursday, September 10th from 6:30-8:30 P.M. This conversation will be focused on translating the science around COVID-19 in preschool and early childhood ages to help inform considerations to keep children, teachers, and caregivers healthy. The...
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"How to talk policy and influence people": a special series of Law and Justice with Cissy White
In this extended "How to talk policy and influence people" interview with Christine "Cissy" White, a writer (see healwritenow.com), mom, trauma survivor (including child sexual abuse) and staff member of Aces Connection, we discuss the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) science and the importance of attachment and a felt sense of safety for health and human flourishing. We explore some criticisms of the ACEs framework, the benefits and risks of ACEs screening and problems with the concept...
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Stop Child Abuse Now (SCAN) Pod cast 10-22-20
Stop Child Abuse Now (SCAN) Pod cast https://www.blogtalkradio.com/naasca/2020/10/22/stop-child-abuse-now-scan--2513 "Tonight's special guest is Michael Skinner , a returning NAASCA family member from New Hampshire. Michael is an award-winning advocate survivor. Michael's non-profit, ' The Surviving Spirit ', offers a monthly newsletter addressing the issues of trauma, abuse and mental health concerns, public speaking and his music. He notes that these cover a wide variety of issues."We want...
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WEBINAR: Creating Pathways for Community Leadership
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Caregiver Panel: Are We Ready for Re-Opening?
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Re-Opening Workshop: Helping Children Contextualize Change
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The Ultimate Parent Support - Nonviolent Communication
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Insights From Families: Caregivers Describe How Monthly CTC Payments Help Them Stay Afloat (cssp.org)
By Ellie Kaverman, Center for the Study of Social Policy (CSSP), December 9, 2021 “There’s nothing like waking up and worrying if today they’re going to turn a utility off or wondering how much time you have to come up with the money to prevent that from happening,” Patricia, a mother of four in Michigan told us. For her, economic security would mean “not having to beg and borrow if you don’t have it or try to come up with last resort tactics to make sure you have groceries.” The Center for...
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The Reparent Yourself Masterclass
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Families with Young Children Are Losing $13 Billion a Year While Child Care Sector Struggles during the Pandemic (tcf.org)
By Clive Belfield and Julie Kashen, The Century Foundation, February 2, 2022 Families with young children have been hit especially hard during the COVID-19 pandemic: they have had to face not only all the labor market disruptions but also all the child care and schooling disruptions. In no prior downturn have families had to endure two disruptions of this magnitude hitting at the same time, with the same rapidity. Understanding the scope and size of these twin disruptions is important, not...
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The Empowered Parent
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Is Your Child Suffering From Cyberbullying? Make Sure You Look Out For These Signs
Worried that your child may be secretly cyberbullied? There are signs and changes in your child’s life that can serve as a telltale. This may include subtle or not-so-subtle behavioral changes in your child’s school and social life, how they handle the use of technology, and changes in their emotions and behaviors. You’re a parent, right? You know your child like the back of your hand. Their daily behavior and routine. And even if you find it hard to keep abreast with the latest toys (read:...
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My ACEs Affected My Birth
High blood pressure. In your third trimester of pregnancy, you do not want to hear these three words, especially if you are planning to have a home birth. My blood pressure nearly caused me to have an induction for my first birth and transfer to a hospital birth for my second birth. I wish I had known of the ACEs test so I wouldn't have felt so lost and guilty. For my first birth I was clueless. I did not understand why this was happening to me because I ate a healthy diet, went to boxing...
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The Healing Place Podcast: Rene Howitt - Cope24: Parenting & Child Development Classes for High School Students
Rene Howitt, founder of Cope24, offers professional development workshops to school districts across the nation. She also provides presentations and key note speaking at universities, teacher conferences, advocacy events and churches.
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Learning to Be Human: Jack-In-The-Box
BY: ERIN ROBINSON My mother works in child care. When I would drop by for a visit, I never paid close attention to what I was saying around the infants. “The babies won’t remember me,” I thought, “and they certainly won’t remember anything I do or say. Why should I be overly cautious around these little humans when it is too early in their lives to matter?” It was not until I watched “Neurorelational Development: Early Brain Development and the Power of Relationships Webinar” given by Dr.
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Amazing Infographic on ACEs, Spanking, and the Benefits of Positive Parenting
Putting the pieces together! Join an upstream approach to ending violence against children! This is an ACEs & Spanking INFOGRAPHIC that helps parents understand the connection between ACEs and the importance of not spanking and instead, using positive parenting techniques. For a free webinar series to support parents: https://stopspanking.org More information on ACEs, Spanking, and Positive Parenting: https://stopspanking.org/aces/
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How to Legally Protect Your Child from Adult Bullies
Due to relatively recent student-led school shootings and youth suicides, bullying has come to the forefront of the public eye. Several campaigns have evolved to prevent youth bullying in schools, but in reality, many people have forgotten that kids aren’t the only ones capable of bullying. Adults often engage in the act; and unfortunately, some adults in trusted positions, such as teachers and child care workers, focus their mean-spirited behaviors on children. For this reason, every parent...
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Autism Prevention in Infancy: A Broad Interpretation [www.claudiamgoldmd.com]
By Claudia M. Gold , MD, September 25, 2021 Carla’s bright flamboyance stood in stark contrast to her quiet 3-month-old infant, who lay on a blanket on the floor, his eyes transfixed by the light in the ceiling. ‘I think he’s autistic” had been her opening words when she called to make an appointment in my behavioral pediatrics practice. We sat beside him on the floor. With her bright flowered dress and bangling necklaces matching her high lilting voice, she leaned into her son’s face, with...
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Face Masks Don’t Obscure Parents’ Love [wsj.com]
By Alison Gopnik, The Wall Street Journal, Sept. 16, 2021 Parents may worry that babies surrounded by face masks will suffer in their development. Studies suggest there’s no cause for concern. Parents worry, and Covid-19 has given them lots of things to worry about. Here’s one: How will babies be affected by being surrounded by people in masks? Will they have trouble connecting with their parents and other people? [ Please click here to continue reading. ]
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Help families get Monthly Cash Payment through expanded Child Tax Credit
Action Is Needed Now! To help families cover their children’s basic needs, Congress expanded the Child Tax Credit for 2021 as part of the new America Rescue Plan. The IRS will be sending out monthly checks to families with children, starting in July. Families can receive up to $300 a month for every child ages 0-5 and $250 a month for every child ages 6-17 living in their household. Families do not need any earnings to qualify. Families should file taxes by May 17 so they can get the Child...
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Child Tax Credit - help spread the news to families with children
Spread the news to families in your community: even if they've never filed taxes, even if they have little or no income, they may be eligible for the 2021 Refundable Child Tax Credit. They have until May 17, 2021 to file with the IRS to receive this credit: $3600 for each child ages 0-6; $3000 for children 6-17.
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Is Your Child an Orchid, a Tulip or a Dandelion? (nytimes.com)
By Richard Schiffman, The New York Times, Aug. 6, 2020 Highly sensitive children, like orchids, thrive in the right environment, experts say. The new mother from a rural area near Burlington, Vt., noticed that her toddler’s behavior didn’t seem to fit the descriptions in the child-rearing books she was reading. Her daughter would burst into tears when she heard a loud bird call or a person singing out of tune, or if she wore scratchy clothes. And she always demanded to be carried by her...
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Easy Tricks to Improve your Relationship with the Child
How often do we hug children or express our love? How to improve relationships with children, to be not just a parent, but also a trusted friend, with whom they feel real closeness? Why relationships are deteriorating When children are very young, up to three years old, they very much feel the emotional state of their mother. If she is tired, irritated, or anxious, the child will be naughty too. Also, at this time, mothers are trying to wean the babies from their hands, and the children do...
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Coloring Pages Important for Your Child
There are no children who would not like to draw. And you can hardly find parents who would not have to buy coloring books for their kids. But, unfortunately, no one or almost no one pays attention to what is hidden behind the bright cover. And oddly enough, but psychologists also do not spend a lot of their time researching colorings, or rather, what they mean. Coloring various pictures is not only interesting but also very rewarding. Painting pictures will help the child expand knowledge...
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Age-Related Reactions to a Traumatic Event (nctsn.org)
This resource from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network describes how young children, school-age children, and adolescents react to traumatic events and offers suggestions on how parents and caregivers can help and support them. Please click here to access the resource.
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Pandemic parenting overwhelming you? A trio of therapists has just the free workshop you need. Register now for events starting Tuesday, April 20.
Therapist and anti-spanking advocate Robbyn Peters Bennett Three therapists have teamed up to he lp with overwhelmed, stressed parents by offering a free workshop each remaining day this week: Pandemic Parenting! Robbyn Peters Bennett from Portland, Oregon, Lori Petro from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and Amy Bryant from Decatur, Georgia, organized the event to help parents who have been struggling during the pandemic. Here are the details on what they’re offering and how to attend.
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How to Build Healthy Parent-Child Communication When Kids Don't Listen
Child growth and development are coupled with various challenges that parents deal with as part of what is needed to make them responsible human beings. Teaching your child how to listen and communicate effectively are some of the basic skills that are taught. However, children don’t listen on some occasions. It can be frustrating for a parent that does not know what to do. Raising children that don’t listen is common. This usually, is a hindrance to effective parent-child communication.
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10 Rules for Parents to Help Kids to Do Their Homework Stress-Free
If doing homework with a child usually ends with quarrels and a bad mood, and if you subsequently have difficulties and inconveniences because of this, you should read this article and be ready to take action to make sure that you will avoid the same situation in the future. It is quite easy to start with the steps below first and observe how it evolves: 1. Find out the Reason If the child does not like doing homework in any way, he comes up with various excuses not to start studying, be...
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A Child’s Joy in Growing Up: A View from the Pandemic (Claudia M. Gold MD)
John and Adam longed to follow the advice of their favorite parenting podcast and teach their 18-month-old daughter Avery to play independently. But when John left her in her playpen to go make dinner, or Adam sat on the couch doing work while Avery played at his feet, they relented to her protests within seconds. They felt torn between a wish to follow what they called “attachment parenting” where they responded to her every need, and to give her space. I began working with them when Avery...
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Parent-Child Conflicts: Resolution Options
What creates a conflict situation and leads to the "heat of passions"? Obviously, the point is a clash of interests between the parent and the child, which gives rise to a conflict.