Trauma-Informed Parenting

By Miranda Featherstone. The New York Times, November 19, 2021 In September, on one of the first days that felt like fall, we drove from our house in Rhode Island to my father’s house in Massachusetts to spend the weekend. It is still hard for me to write or say “my father’s house.” Until recently, it was “my parents’ house,” but my mother died in June after a short illness, and her simple gray purse no longer sits on the hall table. From the moment we arrived, my 8-year-old seemed out of...

November is a month of Thanksgiving and it’s a time to literally “give thanks” for the bounty in our life. We rejoice in the major highlights but in reality it’s the little micro-moments of joy that give us the strength to carry on. These precious, seemingly insignificant moments can be stored as a resource for us to draw on when times are tough. Life isn’t easy, and this is true for all of us. The immutable value we focus on in the Choose Love Movement is love, but there is another one that...

Whether you celebrate or not, the holiday season can be stressful for many reasons. From experiencing difficult emotions like grief, anger, or resentment that seem to resurface out of nowhere, to the pressures of making everything perfect for everyone, there’s a lot of opportunity for emotional burnout. I’m no stranger to painful emotions re-emerging around this time of the year. Christmas used to trigger in me the feelings of loneliness and guilt for years, following my move across the...

By Raymond Tran, Art by Angela Liang, November 14, 2021 Intergenerational trauma , which can also be referred to as trans- or multigenerational trauma, is defined as “trauma that gets passed down from those who directly experience an incident to subsequent generations.” Intergenerational trauma may begin with a traumatic event affecting an individual or traumatic events affecting larger groups of people, from families to racial groups. Left alone, this cycle of trauma continues. In order to...

Growing up, I was taught that traditional male attributes are things like toughness, emotional reserve, strength, power, and staunch individualism. This image of a “traditional man” feeds into once-clear-cut roles like winner and provider . Edward M. Adams and Ed Frauenheim suggest that this version of masculinity is confined : both limited and limiting. In their 2020 book, Reinventing Masculinity , Adams and Frauenheim write, “Confined masculinity focuses more on a man’s sense of...

By Jane E. Brody, The New York Times, November 8, 2021 In Social Justice Parenting , Traci Baxley emphasizes the rewards of teaching our children to empathize with and care for others. The holidays will soon be upon us. What is likely to make you feel better — receiving a gift, or giving one to someone in need? Research is clear that, as the proverb goes, it’s better to give than to receive. “Doing kind things makes you feel better,” said Andrew Miles, a sociologist at the University of...

By Claudia Gold, MD, November 9, 2021 I recently watched the excruciatingly real documentary Jacinta about three generations of women in Maine whose lives are torn apart by the relentless grip of opioid addiction. The film brilliantly takes the viewer inside the profound love of mothers and daughters that prevails over the ravages of abandonment and loss. Soon after, I began watching the docudrama Dopesick that graphically reveals corporate greed beside the rampant destructive force of...

This is an updated version of the popular hand-out created and shared by the Community & Family Services Division at the Spokane (WA) Regional Health District. The original version has been downloaded thousands and thousands of times and has been used by both individuals and organizations. The updated flyer can be downloaded, distributed, and used freely. Please share widely! It is available in the following languages: English Spanish Arabic Dari Farsi Family Hui, a Program of Lead for...

We all have inner strengths and resilience that can help us deal with challenges and stress. To help us manage stress, PACEs Connection and ACEs Aware created a handout based on seven evidence-based stress busters , as described in the Roadmap for Resilience: The California Surgeon General’s Report on Adverse Childhood Experiences, Toxic Stress, and Health . These interventions can help reduce stress, improve health, and build resilience. Please share widely! The handout is available in the...

This handout is based on the work of Donna Jackson Nakazawa , who worked with us and generously allowed us to paraphrase content from her book, Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology & How You Can Heal . Donna's book specifically addresses those of us parenting with ACEs (which she also does brilliantly in the powerful documentary, Wrestling Ghosts , which is about parenting and healing from ACEs). This handout can be downloaded, distributed, and used freely. It is...

By Claudia Boyd-Barrett, Resolve Magazine, October 8, 2021 At first, Ethan Martinez’s parents thought his persistent high fever was some kind of temporary virus or infection. The doctor thought so too, and prescribed the eight-year-old antibiotics. But within weeks, the normally easygoing and active child was behaving strangely. Ethan cried while playing baseball, a game he’d always loved. He started getting in trouble at school, and would get suddenly angry for no reason. Early puberty, his...

Reimagining Resilience 1: Using a Trauma Lens November daytime option - Mondays, 11/8, 15, & 29 11am - 12:15pm https://www.eventbrite.com/e/194069215247 November evening option - Tuesdays, 11/9, 16, & 30 5pm - 6:15pm https://www.eventbrite.com/e/180398666267 You will leave this training series with a deeper knowledge of trauma’s impact on developing brains, a better analysis of your own behavior and triggers, and concrete next steps to improve your relationships with kids. The course...