Hi Brenda
I'm in CA, just looked at your personal page to see where you are, found you in MD, we can work around the time zones.
Then I found this terrifically moving post you wrote above, so I wanted you to know that I had the identical experiences: "complex grief" is what my book "Don't Try this at Home" is all about.
Please take a look at my opening chapters when time permits at www.AttachmentDisorderHealing.com/book
So you know: you are NOT alone! Together we can heal these things!
Warmest wishes,
Kathy