2013 was a very hard year for me. I lost my father in November and had to revisit my extended family at the time of his impending death, and then his services. For families who are functional, healthy, and have no childhood traumas or personal violence histories, this must sound strange. For me, it is only a repeat of the experience I had at my mother's death in 2010. It was all traumatizing.
Every interaction with my family surrounding grief is a breeding ground for dysfunction, new abuse, new estrangement, new pain. I've never experienced uncomplicated grief and I wonder if I ever will.
I share all of this because, for me, it is the fuel. These personal ongoing traumas continue to play out in my life and the life of my extended family. They fuel my passionate belief that if we start pointing out how childhood traumas play out in lives, in families, in our communities, schools, institutions, and yes -- even in funeral homes -- we will learn that we're ignoring our individual vitality, well-being, as well as healthy, happy futures.
The traumas I experienced in childhood live on in adulthood. They affect me and my extended family, and have impacted my children and all my familial relationships.
Luckily for me, with the help and guidance of an awesome mental health professional, I was able to understand and accept the traumatic consequences of a dysfunctional, abusive family. And, on the other end of that, I have developed a passion for helping others who need to understand what's going on in their lives and why. It's become a life-mission.
I'm going back to school to work towards a Master's degree in mental health service. I already have a lifetime degree in how it plays out, and how ignoring or denying it can leave an unimaginable toll. Now it's time to roll up my sleeves and get the credentials I need to make a difference in other's lives.
So thank you, ACE community, for providing a tangible resource to help explain my life, my family experience, and for being a launching pad, pointing a way forward toward a happier, healthier future for my children, my community, and all of us who care! My resilience is winning out.
Here's to a 2014 that's safer, saner, for more compassion and understanding of "what happened to me" and others! I hope we open more minds and gain more advocates than we ever thought possible!