Yes, Janie. I have long pondered this same question and believe that it was your innate Spirit and/or your Soul. Your bittersweet poem gives a familiar glimpse into the horror of ACEs on children...I am one of them. Without adults that I could go to or cry to I wonder how my resilience has been so remarkable. That's not to say that I haven't spent my entire lifetime un-doing the damage. Each of us comes with a Spirit and behavioral style that is either active or passive. I was fortunate to have an active or assertive personality but I also had a deep sense of God's love for me...the only love I felt.
I would guess that you may have even a vague sense of what it was inside that sustained you. What do you think?