I'd love to hear ANYTHING on this topic that could be shared with the Parenting with ACEs group. It's SUCH an important topic.
I talked with some other mothers who are survivors last year. We talked about how we had done self-defense with our kids, taught them about predators, did some solid and positive safety education. However, at least for me, I had failed to talk about normal and beautiful falling in love or dating when it's fun and positive. I didn't realize I had spent SO MUCH time on protection and SO LITTLE on natural and healthy stuff. It wasn't projection in a single instance but it was parenting from my own experience rather than a more neutral one. Others have shared stories with similar stuff.
More recently, my daughter and I moved. We didn't change towns or schools, but our old house, now in a flood zone, was feeling less safe with winters so harsh. We'd had two floods. But I was terrified of my daughter moving. A friend said to me, "A move isn't necessarily traumatic. Just because your moves came with ACEs doesn't mean that's true for your daughter."
And it's true. My moves meant new Dads, new towns, new dangers. I didn't realize I was thinking of all moves as ONLY negative. Not that it isn't a big change, transition, stress. But without friends who really know my present life and the past one, I think I'd do this projection stuff even more. And probably do it in other ways I don't even see.
So, thank you for this topic.
I know others in Parenting with ACEs would be interested in hearing some helpful and practical ways to be more aware of this, to notice and recognize it, etc. and to see and feel things from a less fearful place.
Cissy