Christine Cissy White posted:Dear Katrice:
This is exciting work. I'd love to hear more about what you are doing and see links to research as well. I know more about expressive writing than narrative approaches but I've been thinking SO MUCH about the different kinds of telling as it relates to trauma.I write lots and pretty openly at this stage of my life, but I was in a writing workshop, decades ago, and shared some childhood experiences - which at the time was a new thing to do for me. I'd only done it before that in therapy and with a small inner circle.
The workshop leader said, after I'd been to a few workshops, "You write the best incest stories." She was smiling and honestly beaming and talking about how she appreciated being taken into the experience and the comments were all about my writing. It was surprising but refreshing. No one had ever reacted that way.
In a way that was positive and without pity or sad eyes.
I was the author of a story about trauma and not the victim of trauma. She saw me as more whole at that time than I saw myself and it felt FAR different and MUCH better than how I felt when sharing in therapy.
Others were in the group, just for writers, and of course people write about life so there's loss, grief, illness, war, violence of different kinds.
And also, there was joy, in love stories, celebrations too. It was all fair game. Nothing was off limits and there was no special table for the "too triggering" or "too hard" topics.
That too was awesome. I lost more shame at that workshop than I ever had. I saw how I was not so different than others that we all had different story lines is all. It was huge. I felt part of a community for the first time and it was great.
Life-changing.
I felt fabulous for MONTHS and MONTHS after. Now years later I leaned how expressive writing four days in a row (and this workshop was 4) helps alleviate symptoms of trauma. So I'm sure that was part of it as well. But it wasn't just the writing, but being seen and heard and people listening and caring but not acting like abuse was any different than the other topics others were writing about. That too was powerful.
It was a dramatic shift for me. And though talk therapy is meant to help people, I know, sometimes, at least for me, reinforced shame because it was like trauma was so bad and my story so intense it required only a professional being able to hear it at $100 or more an hour. Plus, now with all the trigger warnings - it reinforces - dangerous and unspeakable topics even though other things like war and terrorism, pretty serious too, don't come with near as many trigger warnings.
It felt so good to share in a writing group I got hooked. It was not led by a therapist, it was not clinical and it felt better than safe - it felt great.
How we tell, and where, and how we shape and craft the story matters. And also how we are responded to if we choose to share. If I tell my survival tale as a warrior who survived an epic adventure where I was tested and there was trial after trial, it's different than writing a story detailing all of the ways I was damaged by trauma. For me but also for the listening. In both cases, the facts might all be the same, but the narrative approach makes a huge difference.
I too think this can be used in many ways and with all the research about expressive writing benefiting health (Pennebaker, etc.) and then combining a new narrative approach.... it's SO EXCITING. I'd love to learn more about your research and what you are doing and am enjoying this thread.
And the telling and sharing and disclosing CAN BE EXHAUSTING - depending on how it's done and where and how publicly as well. THERE ARE RAMIFICATIONS FOR TELLING OR WRITING OR SHARING THE PERSONAL STORY as well as for NOT TELLING. I'm glad others share that with people as well in coaching and working with survivors. We still live in a world where just being a survivor of trauma and abuse comes with lots of stigma. So... though things are improving that is still the reality. But, there's also lots of consequences in not sharing and telling and disclosing as well. So it's about juggling that and if/when and how is SO very personal.
GREAT GREAT THREAD. LOVE READING EVERY COMMENT!
Cissy
A lot of very good points here, Katrice. And, agreed, there are so many creative and therapeutic ways to tell our story. Finding our own path there is key.