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Reply to "Looking for comments by ACE survivors"

Originally Posted by Alicia St. Andrews:

Yes! Thank you Tina.

 

Many folks have voiced concern over the current Resilience questionnaire posted on ACEsTooHigh. Here is an alternative: http://www.centerforresilientc...nt/uploads/DARS1.pdf

with additional info available at: http://www.centerforresilientchildren.org/adults/

 

Please share your thoughts on the alternative and let us know if you are familiar with any other good options for consideration.

Originally Posted by Tina Marie Hahn, MD:
I will have to take some time to look at the supplemental information but just looking at the questions on this scale, they are very good. They are present moment and certainly would give an individual taking the questionnaire insight into ways to build resilience if low. I like it! Thank you!!!

Alicia, thank you for the alternative questionnaire.

 

Tina, I agree with you about the resiliency info needing to be in the present moment.  

 

You may know that I'm an attorney (retired), parent educator (www.txparent.com), and CASA volunteer for abused and neglected children in Austin Texas. Presently I am writing a basic parenting course series (Protective Parenting and ACE Awareness: Effects of Household Dysfunction on the Brain) designed especially for teenage and young parents, and parent-to-be.

 

In my work, I've seen first-hand that so many parents have NO IDEA what their actions (or neglect) are doing to their children's very brains -- and their offspring's chances for a happy life in general. From my view, the parents seem to believe 2 things: 1) the children are born already knowing right from wrong, no teaching is needed, and if a child cries or misbehaves, that misbehavior is PURPOSEFULLY defiant to annoy the parent, and it deserves ranting and punishment; 2) the household environment (yelling, violence, chaos, no food, sex abuse, alcoholic rages, etc.) has NO EFFECT on the children ... I mean, obviously the children are fine ... See? still so sweet, and cute, and bouncy ... they still have 2 eyes, 2 arms, 2 legs, so what's the problem ??! [Obviously this not true. I am saying it to make a point - some parents have a shocking lack of insight.]

 

To me, education is the only real answer.

 

And for me, the place to start is with the teen and very young parents. Yes, many of them come from abusive backgrounds themselves. And in so many instances, without some guidance, their babies and children may be be headed for the child welfare system where they can be further traumatized, as I have personally seen. 


Some parents won't hear, but I've also seen so many people who do want to learn. They do want to heal themselves and make things better for themselves and their children. I believe that, like me, they will be liberated by the ACE info, which has clearly explained what happened to me. Yes, I will give them the ACE info and ACE questionnaire wrapped in a compassionate way, but not the resiliency questionnaire, I don't think. Or maybe I will call it something else, such as "Building My Family" ... I get weary of trying to explain the term "resiliency" is to them, anyway. Though definitely I will talk about healing, and how I did it, and am still doing it. Teens will want practical HOW TO info they can immediately apply. "Building" and "eliminating dysfunction" are readily grasped, I think .. As in please do more of this (Becky Bailey I Love You Rituals) and less of that (Screaming and hitting children out of frustration) ...   

 

The idea is to take my workshop to schools, churches, and community groups that are helping teenage parents, young parents, and parents-to-be. When I get farther along in writing, I can reach out to you for your input, if that's ok. thanks - Joan

Last edited by Joan Norton
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