"Support and Earned Secure Attachment"
Hi Tina,
I'd seen Linda D's original blog which really moved me. But I didn't realize she'd posted on ACEsCon here.Wow, thanks for alerting me to Linda's thread on resilience at https://www.pacesconnection.com/...6#417040999464947246
I just read through it. Lots of food for thought...
As Cissy W. says at her link she just provided http://healwritenow.com/shes-such-a-victim/
"It’s not resilience.... but support. The more support a victim of crime gets the better and more quickly they tend to rebound, recover and feel safe and present in self and skin.... lack of cultural and societal support hurts and can be changed."
The only way I ever got better was tons and tons and more tons of support from support groups, therapists, Grief Recovery Handbook partners, Al Anon sponsors -- we need support wherever we can get it.
Which translated is the same thing I said before: we need to learn from compassionate humans: A.That compassionate humans exist at all! and B.: That it's SAFE for us to ATTACH to another compassionate human aka "Safe People" (see book of that title).
That is the only route to "earned secure attachment." Can't buy it on Amazon or read about it on the internet. No amount of reading books or internet posts will convince my traumatized brain stem and limbic lobes -- this is where trauma lives, folks!! -- of either A or B above. My thinking cortex can read all it wants but my trauma lives on...
Only physically sitting eye to eye, face to face with an actual compassionate human being can possibly, bio-physiologically, convince my traumatized brain stem and limbic lobe of A and B. That's where healing lives.
So Yes Ma'Am - SUPPORT.
How much support did I and do I get - that's something to start working on an "Earned Secure Attachment" score.
I'm going to ask a few of my therapist friends on here about that...
Hugs, and I do mean hugs,
Kathy
Kathy
Originally Posted by Tina Marie Hahn, MD:
Originally Posted by Kathy Brous:
Here is another view on resilience.
I don't know enough about all this TO endorse anything--but this writer has done serious work on her ACEs:
Hi Kathy, This link is where we had a huge conversation on this. I felt a little overwhelmed after it all. But thought I would give you the link.