PS: Great post by Kathy Brous, and I can relate to it. My high resiliency score seems like a fraud because the reasons underlying it are dysfunctional. Yes, I was seen as "capable" and "an independent go-getter" too, ... but why?
Because my parents were nurturing my strengths?
No. Because I was a capable go-getter out of sheer necessity. Behind the closed doors of the nice house, there was no parenting going on, only chaos, and the children had to figure out how to raise themselves. Yes, neighbors, teachers, and my parents' friends liked me, too, because I was "so responsible."
Yes, "when I was a child, teachers, coaches, youth leaders or ministers were **there** to help me, " ... BUT they didn't. Because when I was little I never told anyone what was going on at home. I had no idea at the time how dysfunctional our household actually was, only that it felt different and much better not to be there, so I joined every school club I could think of and spent tons of time at my friends' houses.
As for the question "I believe that my mother loved me when I was little," what does that even mean? Does it mean, "Did I feel loved as a child?" Answer: I don't know what I felt as a child. Does it mean, "As an adult looking back, do I believe that my mother loved me when I was a child?" The answer to that is: I believe my mother was mentally ill --"damaged" as my therapist likes to delicately put it -- and incapable of loving anyone other than than herself.
So, the questions on the Resiliency Questionnaire ...? I can speak only for me. But I've concluded I have no idea what they mean or how to answer them.