Christine Cissy White posted:Katie:
I LOVE this conversation. I am glad you are asking and inquiring and opening up this discussion for the benefit of all of us. My personal view is biased and I'll say that up front. I have an ACE of 8 and was furious when I learned about the ACE study in my mid-40s. It wasn't the ACEs info. I found hard but the fact that it hadn't been shared with me earlier in my healing, parenting and as part of my general healthcare.
What is positive and resiliency focused can mean very different things to different people. For many, learning about the heavy and hard facts of ACEs is validating and affirming.
To me, the danger or silence is far worse than the danger of not having enough of a positive focus, though many share that same worry so I know it's a real barrier for people. I haven't heard those with high ACEs complaining that talking about ACEs is too hard or negative though.
I think of it as validation even when there's not something to do. For example, if I have terrible symptoms related to vertigo but don't know what vertigo is, having a friend or medical professional say, "Sounds like vertigo" can be a relief. I know it's something with a name, something real, something others have and do have and something I can figure out how to weather if not cure.
That can reduce fear by a lot and that's positive. Plus, what we learn about ACEs can be immediately actionable in terms of what we do as parents even if though it can't change the past. It can help us parent differently and to re-parent ourselves. If we understand how much good health can come from low ACEs that can be powerful and positively motivating. I went to a symposium at McLean Hospital last month and learned that the some residents now speak with a trauma survivor as part of their residency and training. This is done to help residents ask questions and consider how talking about trauma is for them, as residents, as well as to the people they are working with. This is done because so many people who have mental health issues also have experienced trauma. This is a new thing and has not always been done. It sounds like a great program to me.
I love that residents who often have fears about if or when or how to bring stuff up related to trauma, get to be in conversation with a trauma survivor who isn't a patient about their concerns, feelings, fears and to talk it through.
I think we need way more of those kinds of shared learnings and conversations.
I'm not responding only to your question but the many questions related that have been asked and discussed in our community. We could have a whole book/handbook on how/why/when and where to share about ACEs in ways that have and have not worked well for others. There's so much already here and in past discussions, posts and threads. It's great to keep sharing.
Cissy
Cissy - can you share your handbook?