Dear Jeffrey:
I learned a lot from books like Nurturing Adoptions and Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray. While they are geared towards parents who have adopted, which was how I discovered them, I found them helpful for instructing me in what is healthy attachment, why it matters and what happens when it's present and absent and also how traumatic stress and abuse and neglect may also impact kids and therefore the parent/child attachment process. Again, none of it was geared towards me as an adult with developmental trauma or as a person healing, but for me it was among the most healing resources. It helped me piece together what happens, when things go well, and to see some things in me that I thought were just the way it is as a result of not being attached more (to myself or feelings or others).
Also, it's hard because it's hard to be getting educated, be an advocate for ourselves, have some stuff we are working out and trying to find help and all - all at the same time. I wish I could say, "This one phone number or website or resource is all you need" because I think a lot of would have loved or appreciated that.
Kathy Brous shares A LOT on her website that's super informed but also from an individual perspective. Few know more than she does, personally or resource wise, so her links and resources would be at the top of my list.
Best wishes!
Cis