Dear Kay,
While I know of "volunteers" who have entered programs using my curriculum design, it's rare, as most need more "incentive"! I was asked to testify in a custody hearing regarding the need for abusive parents to attend a BIP prior to receiving non-supervised visitation. Do you have that option? I wrote an article which was published last year in the Journal of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers regarding colluding with batterers (Vol 28, #2). Let me know if you'd like to read it and I can send you a copy. As a result of my testimony the presiding judge of Family Law began requiring this order when appropriate. Sometimes the judiciary just needs to be educated about the purpose of BIP's (it's not about reconciling the relationship, but helping the abusing parent change their behavior). Lundy Bancroft is an excellent source for understanding this issue (he wrote Batterer as a Parent).
Because the research does reveal a % of abusers have Cluster B traits, I have attempted to address these issues with the curriculum/program design. Obviously, we're not going to completely change this landscape, but I have been pleasantly surprised with the outcomes so far. The program address' their own trauma/grief issues, et al, which then creates the nexus to discuss the effects on their own children.
Last year I trained therapists in an agency which conducts "Differential Response" for their county CPS referrals. I agree that there needs to be ways to safely reconnect the children with the abusing parent, so feel free to email me at nyorke@outlook.com and I can send you the training outline and ideas you might be able to use.
best regards,
Nada