This is a marvelous place to use Tapping and Emotional First-Aid.
1) For you: I can be of service to you, if you like.
2) For you AND others: when triggered, as you are, as is your dog...there is little access to rational resources. To stabilize and regain calm access, your body's threat response must be interrupted, soothed and quelled, then the situation deconstructed. This method of brief, focused exposure while simultaneously accessing your body's nervous system and threat cycle through somatic and kinesthetic activation, have been shown (in thousands of case histories and 43 RCT published in peer-reviewed journals) to quickly decrease stress hormones, re-set the ANS, and begin re-encoding and re-consolidating the troubling event memory into a more calm, rational narrative. One by one we access and unpack what Dr. Robert Scaer calls 'the trauma capsule,' de-potentiating each activated aspect.
More, if wanted. Hoping for all good things for you, your service dog who depends upon you as well, and your child, and that your neighbor and her dog, doing as it has been trained by her to do, may change as you do. Kind regards.