Tagged With "growth"

Barbara Rubel is a suicide loss survivor and leading thanatologist. Thanatology is the scientific study of death. As a thanatologist, Barbara Rubel specializes in suicide loss survivor grief and educating professionals about traumatic loss. The third updated and revised edition of her book, But I Didn’t Say Goodbye: Helping families after a suicide, just launched on Amazon.

The unbridled spread of COVID-19 has caused all but essential service providers to drop what we were doing and settle in at home. This forced slowdown is very uncomfortable for most. But, this forced slowdown may not necessarily be a bad thing. With many of us at home, now's a good time to let our lives catch up to us and envision a new future.

I've struggled with anxiety throughout my life. A difficult childhood and my highly sensitive personality meant I grew into an anxious kid—there was just too much pain and emotional overwhelm for my young brain to handle. My anxiety most often manifested as perfectionism and people pleasing, so from the outside everything seemed great. I excelled in school and I was a good kid who did as she was told. But there was a war inside me. I felt broken, unable to navigate these huge feelings of...

On The Healing Place Podcast this morning I had the chance to chat with hostess Teri Kamphaus Wellbrock raising awarenesss for guys about their mental health and encouraging men to take this time of isolation to learn more about themselves.

By Grant H. Brenner, Psychology Today, May 9, 2020 The COVID-19 pandemic is a prolonged, global disaster of epic proportions, unlike anything most people have experienced in their lifetimes. Tolerating Ambiguity and Isolation Unlike many disasters, which have a predictable course (see Phases of Disaster, below), pandemics don't fit a clear mold, with no clear end date, high levels of uncertainty about whether there will be ongoing waves of reinfection, unclear paths toward normality, limited...

Thanks for the shout-out, Jason! And for another hope-infused conversation. You shared such an important message of #PandemicSelfCare for men.

Joanna, clearly you "get" what it's like to deal with anxiety, especially that which is rooted in early trauma. Your description of how your anxiety manifests itself sure rings a bell with me, and I'm guessing it does so with many others with difficult childhoods. Thanks for sharing your experience-based suggestions for how to manage and overcome anxiety.

The past week has been painful, overwhelming, and many other emotions, as the Twin Cities, Minnesota, National, and global communities grapple with the murder of George Floyd, ongoing police brutality, the protests, the uprising, and the institutional, systemic, and interpersonal racism that has been an ongoing trauma for many of our communities. Many of us are working to navigate the balance between engagement, the need for rest and renewal, and care for the community in these moments.

When a young person experiences trauma, there is no single answer regarding how that experience may impact them in their later years. Two 12-year-olds experiencing the exact same kind of trauma, for example, may have two very different responses — one crumbles and the other rises. One processes it deeply and the other suppresses it. One becomes a powerful force for change in the community and the other struggles to make their place in the world. Furthermore, what may be considered traumatic...

There is a place that we get trapped in the choices that we make. I want to think that conflict happens when there is a collision of values between the person you were and the person you are becoming. In the moments of change in the healing process, we reach plateaus, not as in the end but as in a time to create a shift. When this happens, we are faced with making a choice: do we act according to the person we were or the person we have become and are moving in towards. We hit a wall in...

By March, I sometimes feel as if I am marching through winter. It has been cold long enough that the novelty of snow boots and mittens has worn off. Sledding, skiing, and skating have been fun but navigating the ice from the house to the barn for my daily farm chores gets wearing. March marks one long year of quarantining and social distancing, and it’s still an altered way of life we are required to continue. I noticed, however, that the purple and yellow crocuses have already bloomed in my...

Very nice, thank you Scarlett.

There is something very powerful about being able to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, stress or pain. Resilience has been defined and used to describe a person who bounces back from intense difficult circumstances. More often than not, with resilience comes deep personal growth that prepares a person for what’s ahead. Resilience drives us to stand strong; it is a process of adapting & moving forward. Trauma can be debilitating. It is life altering. But there is another truth...

There is growth through trauma. Hard as it is, there IS growth through trauma. Very often, we do not see it at the time. It is not until we reflect on what happened and find possible reasons why we faced a flashback or responded so badly to a trigger. I have been forcing myself to attend the Royal Commission Inquiry into Abuse in Care hearings because I wanted to discover WHY professionals working in our State institutions would cause harm to children and youth. I wanted to discover WHY they...

Once the suffering resulting from adverse childhood experiences is managed, we can turn toward creating a more satisfying life. Pursuing the honorable life leads to self-respect and inner peace. Compassion for mistakes, understanding their reasons, and applying integrity skills starts us on the path to flourishing.

The well-timed choice to forgive deep injuries from childhood, though difficult, can greatly improve psychological wellbeing and free us to move ahead. Four keys to forgiveness lay the foundation for cultivating healing forgiveness skills.

While the process of forgiving painful offenses from childhood can be very difficult, efforts to forgive bring great rewards. The process begins with acknowledging the pain, applying self-compassion, and taking even small and faltering steps to get the forgiveness ball rolling.

Dear Dr. Schiraldi, "Take the offender to neutral . . . I won’t waste my time thinking about you or remembering.” This has been the single most helpful definition of forgiveness for me. In my belief system, a contrite and repentant offender is a necessary part of the forgiveness process - things my offender never was. The best I can do under those circumstances is to bear him no ill will and leave it at that. "Don’t personalize . The offense is more about the pain and imperfect past of the...

Strengthening the wounded soul can improve psychological and physical wellbeing and help to complete the recovery process. Although ACEs, understandably, can numb feelings, including spiritual feelings, once healing has progressed, spiritual feelings can often be successfully cultivated.

Adverse childhood experiences understandably can numb feelings, including feelings of joy, happiness, and pleasure. Making time to be joyful rewires the wounded brain. Once healing has progressed, the capacity for joy can usually be expanded through the repeated application of proven joy strategies.

I'm excited to share a project I recently completed! You can visit https://www.risetoresilience.org/resources to access the guide, Relationship Commitments template with example, and a supporting tool to explore your past, present, and desired future beliefs. Categories on the template include topics such as dealbreakers, core values, relationship values, love languages (giving and receiving), priorities, personal agreements, and more. Who is this for? Anyone, really! Whether you practice...

Once the healing of hidden wounds from adverse childhood experiences has sufficiently progressed, attention can turn to developing a richly satisfying future. Your innate inner strengths, experiences, and acquired skills will help rewire your brain for a brighter future.

Attachment disruptions and other hidden wounds from ACEs can render one more vulnerable to drug addiction. Genuine, mature love from others, and for oneself, can change the course of one's life. A recent book highlights the path from childhood trauma to addiction to recovery.

Country music artist Allen Karl (Sterner) endured unspeakable childhood cruelty and chaos, yet turned into a caring, competent adult. His story provides many useful insights that can help and inspire others who have endured multiple ACEs.

For moving past hidden wounds from childhood, mindset matters. These important attitudes undergird the process of healing from adverse childhood experiences.

Wounds of the heart may persist after troubling memories from childhood adversity have been rewired. Fortunately, pain from childhood adversities can spur us to create a peaceful heart of forgiving, kindness, calm, and purpose.

A difficult past need not define you, nor determine your future. We explore three paths to building a satisfying life after hardship in childhood.