A message to
NZ CYFS social workers, Family Court judges, lawyers, teachers, police
Through my work as an advocate, I have met many people who, like me, have PTSD.
I have PTSD because people made the choice to hurt me so bad that I now live with that every day. I live with trauma.
The thing is I survived. I made the decision to pick myself up, to stand again, reset and keep moving forward.
I now face many, many people including professionals who believe, erroneously, that I am my trauma.
I am not my trauma
This is especially true in NZ because, in my country that I love so much, far too many professionals who say they are there to help me are not trauma-responsive.
They treat me like I am broken and I have a mental health problem ~ a nutcase
They tell me I can't do what I can do
They tell me I am not a good parent and I can't become a good parent
They put ceilings on me
They put me in a cage and throw away the key
They underestimate me
And when I fall, they tell me "I told you so"
Yet, I get back up and they refuse to see my strength, my courage, my resilience.
Professionals in NZ especially CYFS social workers and lawyers and police and teachers
When you repeatedly tell me I am a nutcase
In my hour of need, I start to believe that
You know not what you do
Because you are not trauma-responsive
You are judge and jury
You take away my children
You break me
And then you break my children
You know not what you do
You have no excuse
Become trauma-responsive
And stop the cycle
I speak from lived experience
My lived experience and the lived experience of many survivors
Who I advocate for
Just like me
They repeatedly face your judgment
Fall down
Cry tears of humiliation
Get back up
Reset
And face the day again
Acknowledge that we are survivors
Acknowledge our strength
Acknowledge our courage
Acknowledge our resilience
Acknowledge we can do
Acknowledge we can be good parents
And STOP underestimating us
And STOP tearing our children from us
You caused the harm so you have the responsibility
To support us to heal and work WITH us
That is how you heal our people and our country
That is how you unite our people and our country
NZ must become trauma-responsive
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