Tagged With "Battling Anxiety While War Rages"
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Parenting, COVID and Teens: The Hassle
It all started for me about two weeks ago. Even though I heard about Coronavirus here and there, it was just a distant conversation happening on the background for me. Until one day, I got home from work, and my husband said we had to start stocking up for the crisis . "Crisis? Which crisis?", I asked. "The outbreak! It is serious. My company is preparing us to work from home for at least four weeks". "Get out of here," I thought. He is known for being anxious and controlling, so I scratched...
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Parenting’s Troubled History
As we learned from the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study , negative childhood experiences are often kept secret, downplayed, or repressed because of our powerful desire to put such things behind us. Unfortunately, our minds and our brains don’t work that way. Patterns can play out automatically, no matter how hard we try to be original and create our own realities. Just as it is important to know family medical history (e.g., diabetes or tuberculosis) it is equally important to know about our...
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Parenting with ACEs Resources: Power Sharing & Sharing Powerfully
Sharing as a trauma survivor, parent (via adoption), writer, and advocate, I'm going to detail what I find crucial in any program or perspective geared towards those currently parenting with ACEs. Most important, is that any program be survivor and peer-led (or co-led). If that's the only change done, it's a good one. Who shares content, and how, is as important as the content being shared. So often, programs to parents are patronizing, punitive, and can come across as "edupuking" all over...
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Paying Attention as the Most Exhausting Part of Parenting with ACEs
I used to sneak away for a hot bath as often as possible when my daughter was in the need-me-every-minute years. I'd soak long past when the water went cold and I felt guilty at times but sometimes I needed to be alone. To read poetry. To have some physical space. To exhale. I didn't always know where or how to pamper or self-care myself. There were few adults I trusted. I believed in attachment-style parenting and wanted to be there all of the time. And that even made me feel guilty when I...
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Please stop saying parenting is hard for everyone & read Parenting with PTSD instead
Sometimes, we feel anxious, intrusive, or afraid when changing or bathing or own babies. Sometimes, we feel sick to our stomachs and worried while potty training, nurturing, or disciplining our toddlers. Sometimes, we feel shame-filled and ill-equipped when talking about puberty, body parts, or sexuality because of how and where we were compromised by caregivers as children as in our bodies, homes, and families. P arenting is brutally hard for some. If affection, attention and intimacy have...
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Re: Poor Parenting Can Be Passed From Generation to Generation: Study (www.nbcnews.com)
Thanks for this post. Just yesterday, I was just thinking about the implications of parental trauma in terms of the ACES study and survey. Is there any data available regarding the impact of parental trauma on a child's ACES? Do children who have a high # of ACES (6+) also have parents with a high #? Do children with a high # of ACES have parents with a history of significant trauma? What would the data show if an 11th factor were added to the 10 ACES? For example: "11. Did a parent or...
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A Video Game About Conflict Resolution Helps Develop Empathy for Refugees (kqed.org)
Lual Mayen, a video game developer based in Washington, D.C., remembers the first time he saw a computer. He was just a kid at the time. It was 2007, and his family was registering for benefits at a refugee camp in Uganda, where they'd settled after fleeing civil war in South Sudan. He didn't tell anyone at first, but in that moment he knew in his heart that he wanted to learn to code, he says. More than a decade later, Mayen is garnering international recognition from Facebook and the...
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ACEs Connection Parent Handouts
Great resources to accompany ACEs screening efforts, presentations, and community awareness building. Please share how you plan to use the handouts in the comments section below!
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ACEs Science and Racism
This is a collection of resources regarding structural racism and trauma. This list aims to give a broad overview and is not all-inclusive. We welcome suggestions; if you have any, please comment below! The titles below and the PDFs in attachments are in alphabetical order. BSC Full Report Trauma Resilient Informed City Baltimore: This is the full report of the work, data, lessons, and direct quotes from several teams of people from various backgrounds in the Baltimore community as they...
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Adoption: Broken Bonds (www.risemagazine.org)
Across the country, roughly 50,000 children are adopted from foster care each year. They are expected to detach from their families and start over with new ones. Their mothers and fathers, stripped of parental rights, are told to let go and move on, unsure of whether they will see their children again. Adoption can be in the best interest of many children, but experience and research show that it’s not the right option for all children. The trauma caused by separation, the tug of war between...
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Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)…Why is Hugging Sooo Very Critical?
"The reality of my own “adverse childhood experiences” is just catching up with me at age 73. My guess is I’m not alone."
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After the Chat Review & Additional Resources: Talking Tough Topics with Kids
We had our first Parenting with ACEs Group chat a few weeks ago. The full chat transcript is saved online. For those who want highlights only and follow-up from our featured guest, Beth O'Malley, please find the following: Beth O'Malley: Talking Tough Topics as Social Worker, Parent & Adoptee How Lived Experience Can Be a Professional Asset Sharing Our Questions, Issues & Experiences How to Start Having Hard Conversations How to Talk with Teens ACEs as an AHA or Conversation Starter...
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Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
In Alice Miller’s classic book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence, Miller hammers home her provocative stance that the root causes of ALL violence are a consequence of childhood trauma.
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'All The Rage' Isn't About Moms Having It All — It's About Moms Doing It All [npr.org]
Darcy Lockman conducted interviews with 50 women about the division of labor in their households, and she heard a lot of anger and a lot of gratitude. The gratitude concerned her — here's why: "It was actually a way of walking back their own anger," she says. Women would express legitimate grievances and then say: "But I know women who are in worse situations, so I don't want to complain too much." In her new book, Lockman demonstrates why women have every right to complain. All the Rage:...
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Cancer as a survivor
Many people use the phrase CPTSD to stand for PTSD from complex trauma. To me, C-PTSD means cancer and PTSD. I have cancer and I’m a trauma survivor. I’m a survivor with cancer but not yet a cancer survivor. Will I be a survivor squared?
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Chat Live with Sebern Fisher on ACEs Connection
"Evidence with neurofeedback suggests that trauma-informed treatment should also be brain-informed treatment- and not just to know that the brain is an issue, but to work with it directly.” Sebern Fisher, Neuofeedback in the Treatment of Developmental Trauma: Calming the Fear-Driven Brain. Neurofeedback for ACEs: Chat with Sebern Fisher Oct. 10th (10 AM PST / 1 PM EST) Chats are live, online discussions - not webinars. We gather and connect, via chat messaging to share stories, resources,...
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Childhood Trauma—It Happens More Than You Think [Napsnet.com]
Traumatic experiences happen-but when they happen to children, it can affect their view of the world, their sense of safety, their development, and even their longer-term physical and mental health. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), more than two-thirds of children reported at least one traumatic experience by age 16. While not every child will be traumatized from a difficult experience, some potentially traumatic events could include abuse,...
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Childhood violence and the Whac-A-Mole effect
Whac-A-Mole players ( by Laura ) _______________________________________________ Many people and organizations focus on preventing violence with the belief that if our society can stop violence against children, then most childhood trauma will be eradicated. However, research that has emerged over the last 20 years clearly shows that focusing primarily on violence prevention – physical and sexual abuse, in particular – doesn’t eliminate the trauma that children experience, and won’t even...
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Dads can pass trauma, lifestyle and diet to their children through their sperm, study says [Metro.co.uk]
We know babies inherit genes from their parents but they don’t tend to be environmental factors carried on from parent to children. But a new study shows that sperm can pass traumas that men have experienced in their lives, as well as other lifestyle choices such as diet to their kids. Sperms carry ‘epigenetic’ marks the determine how a child’s cells develop, according to researchers at the University of California, Santa Cruz. Their research comes after a study showed that sons of Union...
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Down the Generations (www.bbc.co.uk)
"In a sense, it doesn't matter from a policy point of view, whether bad health is transmitted down the generations through a biological mechanism, a social one or a mixture of both - because we largely already know how to fix it. The good news is that even if you start life with a low stock of health, if you live in a society with good public health, you can, to some extent, build up your stocks as you go along." This BBC radio show shares stories and research which are hopeful, horrible and...
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Dozens of Kaiser Permanente pediatricians in Northern California screen three-year-olds for ACEs
Since August 2016, more than 300 three-year-olds who visited Kaiser Permanente’s pediatric clinics in Hayward and San Leandro have been screened for adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), such as living with a family member who is an alcoholic or losing a parent to separation or divorce. But when the idea to screen toddlers and their families for ACEs was first broached at the Kaiser Permanente Hayward Medical Center, the staff were, in a word, “angsty,” says Dr. Paul Espinas, who led the...
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Early childhood educators learn new ways to spot trauma triggers, build resilience in preschoolers
A hug may be comforting to many children, but for a child who has experienced trauma it may not feel safe.
That’s an example used by Julie Kurtz, co-director of trauma informed practices in early childhood education at the WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies (CCFS), as she begins a trauma training session. Her audience, preschool teachers and staff of the San Francisco-based Wu Yee Children’s Services at San Francisco’s Women’s Building, listen attentively.
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Re: Cannitta’s Story: Surviving, Not Living (www.lsnj.org)
Here is the link to the video I mentioned, almost as promised. (Said I would post this morning; it is 12:02.) This is an incredible Tedx Talk. https://youtu.be/kcbu58p0fbA TEDx Talks Published on Jun 8, 2016 SUBSCRIBE 13M From his service during the Iraq War, Paul Abernathy first learned about trauma. In returning to the community in Pittsburgh, he saw a broader definition of trauma that required a broader effort at healing. His talk outlines the systematic work to rebuild communities block...
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Re: There is Only Rejection (www.beatingtrauma.com)
Hey Family For many of us who have the BACKGROUD of Traumatic rejections and Abandonment, CAN FIND HELP---HOPE--HEALING here Today. When we learn to give VALUE and WORTH to EACH OTHER in this group we Create safe environment for us to begin to heal. We MUST move past "Spiritual SNOBBERY " out of our own fear and insecurity we judge others as a defensive strategy. How can we GET CLOSE to each other so WE can MAKE A REAL CONNECTION at the level of the Mind and heart? Byron Katie who is a...
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Re: Us and We with Wentworth Miller (www.goalcast.com) & Commentary
The statement of , US vs WE . Is part of what i call the EGOS AGENDA and its ensuing "EGO WARS" one of the EGO WARS is "The WAR BETWEEN THE SEXES" Its really difficult to reach and comunicate with someone whos EGO MIND is in COMBAT MODE all the time.WE need not be "INSTRUMENTS OF WAR" with all of the egos devices. Gandi said it clearly,,Be the change you want to see in the world. Rick
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Systems Transformation for the Better Normal: Follow-up Slides and Call Recording
Find in this post the slides from the Systems Transformation Better Normal call, featuring RYSE Youth Center's Associate Director Kanwarpal Dhaliwal. A link to the call recording is also provided.
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Unbecoming an Armadillo: Recovering from Trauma with EMDR
Unbecoming an Armadillo By: Victoria F. Burns, PhD, LSW Victoriafrances49@gmail.com Instagram: @betesandbites “When you are traumatized, you are basically in a permanent defensive mode” — Gabor Mate I’m sitting across from Meg on her charcoal grey love seat. My forearms are resting on a velvety mustard-yellow throw cushion and I’m holding crescent shaped pulsers in each hand. Meg’s my psychologist; a rare gem who specializes in chronic illness and trauma. Every two weeks, we spend an hour...
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Seven Steps to Calm an Explosive Child
Are you exhausted by the explosive behaviors of the children you love? First, I want to say I am so proud of you. I know the fatigue and frustration that comes with parenting a child who feels out of control. The fact that you are reading this article means you are looking for support and guidance, and that means you are on your way to helping the children in your life. And believe me, you are probably already doing a better job than you think! Kids need you to show up more than anything!
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Pamela Runge
Calendar Event
The Attack on "Critical Race Theory": What's Going on?
Calendar Event
Webinar: Divorce and the Child in the Middle
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It is not our job to protect children from pain, it's our job to guide them through it (upworthy.com)
My daughter and I were at the park last week — running, jumping, chasing ducks, and playing tag — when the unthinkable happened: when she was mocked and teased for the first time. The very first time. Of course, my initial reaction was full of hurt and sadness, anger and rage. I wanted to swoop in and hug my daughter. I wanted to swoop in and protect my daughter, and I wanted to go full on mama bear on the little twerp who thought it was okay to make fun of girls because she (and her...
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Family Hui parenting groups highlight ACEs science, love and empowerment
photo courtesy of Diana Rivas Diana Rivas had studied child development as an undergraduate, but it wasn’t until she joined a parenting group in 2019 in Davis, California, that she began to reflect on the way she herself was raised — and punished. Diana Rivas “My dad had experienced a lot of abuse,” she recalls. “He was raised in a small town in Mexico, and his father had used heavy corporal punishment against him. He did the same with me, because he thought that was the way discipline...
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New Understanding Childhood Trauma Resource for Parents/Caregivers
Please see our new pamphlet for parents/caregivers about childhood trauma (now in eight languages), and share with friends, family and colleagues. Although designed for Massachusetts residents, the resource page can be adapted for other locations. Thank you for your help and any distribution ideas. https://www.frcma.org/about/tr...sources-and-training https://myemail.constantcontact.com/NEW-Understanding-Childhood-Trauma-Resource.html?soid=1135101415145&aid=t6mWQvwx2sA
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Join Special Guest Father Paul Abernathy for a Zoom Discussion on March 16th, at 7p.m. EST to discuss the Whole People Documentary Series and Trauma-Informed Community Development
On behalf of ACEs Connection , the CTIPP (The Campaign for Trauma -Informed Policy & Practice), and the Relentless School Nurse , we want to invite you to the streaming of parts 4 and 5 of the Whole People documentary series on the weekend o f M arch 12th through March 14th, 2021. We will stream both parts on ACEs Connection in the Transforming Trauma with ACEs Sciences Film Festival community. The documentary viewing will be followed by a discussion with special guest, Father Paul...
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Whole People Documentary Streaming Weekend & Zoom Discussion with Rev. Paul Abernathy
On behalf of ACEs Connection , the CTIPP (The Campaign for Trauma-Informed Policy & Practice), and the Relentless School Nurse , we want to invite you to the streaming of parts 4 and 5 of the Whole People documentary series on the weekend o f March 12th through March 14th, 2021. We will stream both parts on ACEs Connection in the Transforming Trauma with ACEs Sciences Film Festival community. The documentary viewing weekend will be followed by a discussion with special guest, Father Paul...
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Resilient Guilford Network (NC) shares resources for talking with children about war in the Ukraine
In light of recent events, Resilient Guilford Network is sharing resources from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) in response to the war on Ukraine. Some are specific to military families, while others are more general resources. Please see the links below and let us know if you have questions and how we can help support your local efforts. Deep breaths as we start a new week together. We look forward to staying connected and are grateful for all you do. General Child...
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Re: Resilient Guilford Network (NC) shares resources for talking with children about war in the Ukraine
Thank you for these great resources! Here's another one for parents on the same topic: How to Talk with Your Child about the War in Ukraine from Aha! Parenting.
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Considering Your Child's Mental Health as an Immigrant
Immigration can be complex. It may have different repercussions for families and individuals, especially children. Some immigrant families have the money to consult third-party advisers for their move to another country. But most immigrant families have experienced hardships, such as financial difficulties, social inequality, cultural barriers. These factors affect different generations of their family (1) . The individuals most susceptible to mental issues are the children. Even though...
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COVID Parenting Has Passed the Point of Absurdity [theatlantic.com]
By Melinda Wenner Moyer, Photo: robbie jack/Corbis/Getty, The Atlantic, January 20, 2022 Last Thursday, a group of 20 mothers in Boston met up outside a local high school. Their goal wasn’t to socialize, drink wine, or even share COVID-related tips. They were there for one reason and one reason only: to stand in a circle—socially distanced, of course—and scream. “I knew that we all needed to come together and support each other in our rage, resistance and disappointment,” Sarah Harmon, the...
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How to Avoid Emotional Burnout This Holiday Season
Whether you celebrate or not, the holiday season can be stressful for many reasons. From experiencing difficult emotions like grief, anger, or resentment that seem to resurface out of nowhere, to the pressures of making everything perfect for everyone, there’s a lot of opportunity for emotional burnout. I’m no stranger to painful emotions re-emerging around this time of the year. Christmas used to trigger in me the feelings of loneliness and guilt for years, following my move across the...
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A Report on How Stigma Harms Youth Exposed to Parental Substance Use Disorder
A New Path Forward: A Report on How Stigma Harms Youth exposed to Parental Substance Use Disorder and Recommendations for a New Path Forward NEW REPORT: On February 3rd, Starlings Community released a FIRST of its kind report on how stigma impacts youth exposed to parental substance use disorder. Approximately 1 in 6 youth are exposed to the stress and stigma of a parent's substance use disorder. These children/youth are at double the risk for depression, triple the risk for addiction, and...
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Healing From Intergenerational Trauma, Become Better Future Parents [ucsdguardian.org]
By Raymond Tran, Art by Angela Liang, November 14, 2021 Intergenerational trauma , which can also be referred to as trans- or multigenerational trauma, is defined as “trauma that gets passed down from those who directly experience an incident to subsequent generations.” Intergenerational trauma may begin with a traumatic event affecting an individual or traumatic events affecting larger groups of people, from families to racial groups. Left alone, this cycle of trauma continues. In order to...
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How Society Has Turned Its Back on Mothers [nytimes.com]
By Pooja Lakshmin, Photo: Csilla Klenyánszki, The New York Times, February 4, 2021 As a psychiatrist specializing in women’s mental health, nearly every mother I have treated during the pandemic fights through decision fatigue, rage and a feeling of powerlessness every day. This isn’t breaking news. Burnout among parents, in particular moms, has been a defining principle of this global disaster. Clinical-level burnout is defined by a triad of symptoms: exhaustion, a sense of futility and...