Tagged With "Unavailable men"
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The Developing Brain & Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Thanks to an explosion in scientific research now possible with imaging technologies, such as fMRI and SPECT, experts can actually see how the brain develops. This helps explain why exposure to adverse childhood experiences can so deeply influence and change a child's brain and thus their physical and emotional health and quality of life across their lifetime. The above time-lapse study was conducted over 10 years. The darker colors represent brain maturity (brain development). I have added...
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The Mother that Never Was (www.beatingtrauma.com) & Commentary
Elisabeth Corey wrote this essay piece about her mother. It's honest, painful and difficult to read. Many will be able to relate. Our bonds with our parents can be complicated (no matter what our ACE score). But it's even more so when our relationships have been filled with ACEs and the hurt, betrayal, and scars that can accompany them. Once we survive childhood and are not dependent on our parents we may have lots to sort through. Things that are not easy to live with or make sense of. Her...
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The Powerful Role of Parents in Tackling Bullying
Parents also have the power to prevent bullying by changing family dynamics. They may not know it, and they may not know how to do it.
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The Relentless School Nurse: Candida Rodriguez is Creating Community Through the Power of Conversations That Matter
Candida Rodriguez is my mentor, while she may disagree with that statement and say it is the opposite, it is the absolute truth. My respect, admiration, and amazement at the depth of her knowledge, talent, and compassion astound me every time we work together. Candida serves her complex and ever-changing community with dedication, skill and a relentless pursuit of coordinating care for her students and families. We are partners in the Community Cafe Initiative that began in 2015 after I...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter December 2019
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2019-12-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_December_2019.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael. Contents List: 1] A neuroscientist's advice for combating stress this holiday season by Dr. Patrick K. Porter 2] Peer...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter May 2020
Hi Folks, The May edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php or PDF - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-05-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_May_2020.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael . “ Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.” - Helen Keller The Surviving Spirit Newsletter May 2020 – please...
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'I am not okay': The remarkable response to the Charlie Rose allegations, from his CBS colleagues
This afternoon, Charlie Rose was fired from PBS and CBS. This morning, G ayle King and Norah O'Donnell, who anchor with Charlie Rose, reported on this national story. Here's an excerpt from an article by J. Freedom du Lac , Amy B Wang and Marwa Eltagouri which discusses this video clip. I'm okay and not okay. How are you? Are you talking about this with your kids, friends, partner, co-workers? I've been asked how I'm handling all the news reports of sexual harassment, assault and abuse being...
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Interview: Trauma-Informed Care with Transition-Age Youth [psychologytoday.com]
Last month, an article titled “The Tragedy of Baltimore” in the New York Times Magazine described the upsurge in violence in a city long known for its “blight, suburban flight, segregation, drugs , racial inequality, [and] concentrated poverty.” At the center of the storm are transition-age youth, who too often face long odds and challenging futures in the communities where they live. I recently had the opportunity to talk with Patricia Cobb-Richardson , MS. For the past 20 years, she has...
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Intimate Partner Abuse Can Lead To Depression, Suicidal Thoughts In Old Age (scienceblog.com)
“Protective Factors Against Suicidal Ideation among Community-Dwelling Older Adults with Experience of Spousal Physical Abuse: Focusing on Direct and Indirect Protections” was published online in July in the journal Aging and Mental Health . One in three women and one in four men experience some form of physical violence at the hands of an intimate partner, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. “This study revealed that older adults with experiences of spouse/partner...
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Jumaane Williams’s Breakthrough Victory Speech (New Yorker)
Editorial note: This is a moving account by Jennifer Gonnerman of triumph over trauma in a just minutes-long election night speech by Jumaane Williams, recently elected Public Advocate for New York City. The video does not include his remarks about being in therapy for three years (important for many to hear) so please read Gonnerman's outstanding report. I was moved by the entire account—his demonstrative affection for his mother and sister and his tribute to his fifth-grade teacher, Ms.
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Justice is Love: Fatherhood and Equity during COVID-19 [positiveexperience.org]
By Guest Author, 5/5/20, positiveexperience.org/blog Today’s post is based on an interview with Corey Best, a member of the HOPE National Advisory Board and the Birth Parent National Network (BPNN) | CTF Alliance , which “promotes and champions birth parents as leaders and strategic partners in prevention and child welfare systems reform.” Can you introduce yourself and your work? My name is Corey Best, and I’m a family engagement consultant and speaker by title. I stand for justice in the...
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Why Girls Who Face Toxic Stress are More Vulnerable to Adult Illness: The Shocking Relationship Between Being Female, #ACEs, Autoimmune Disease and Depression
This blog is about WHY Adverse Childhood Experiences are a #METOO ISSUE. I want to talk about how and why toxic childhood stress – also as #ACEs — is a #metoo issue of the greatest magnitude. For girls and for the adult women they become. One thing readers know about the work I do and the books I write, including Childhood Disrupted , The Autoimmune Epidemic , and The Last Best Cure , is that I focus on the intersection of neuroscience, immunology and emotion – while shining a spotlight on...
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Why I’m Writing a Book About the Most Important Problem Facing Men and Their Families To [GoodMenProject.com] & Chat Reminder
Cissy's Note: The next chat is next Tuesday. The topic is Fathers & ACEs and it will be held live, here, at 10 AM PST/ 1 PM EST. Here's the link to the chat event. I’ve been writing books that help men and the families who love them since my first book, Inside Out: Becoming My Own Man, was published in 1983. Getting books published that focus on men is never easy. The perception in the publishing world continues to be that men don’t read books about men’s issues (unless it’s a sports...
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Women and men military veterans, childhood adversity and alcohol and drug use [medicalxpress.com]
Results of a national study led by public health scientist Elizabeth Evans at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, with others at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) and the University of California, Los Angeles, suggest that risk for alcohol and drug use disorders among United States military veterans is increased by childhood adversity, and in ways that are different between women and men and different compared to the civilian population. Evans, an assistant professor of...
Ask the Community
Looking for schools that specialize in "Resilience trumps ACEs"
I am a volunteer in my community who are in the early stages of learning about trauma informed care. There are some teenagers in our community who have been impacted by ACEs and succumbed to using opioids. A few of them who could afford the expense have enrolled in out of state (expensive) residential treatment centers (RTC). I am not sure if some of these RTCs explicitly use trauma informed care. I am observing that the RTC "graduates" returning home may or may not be resilient, especially...
Ask the Community
Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Hi everyone! I've made a blog (not yet launched) called A Resilient Parent (aresilientparent.com). I have a few goals in mind for this blog. First i want to help parents with ACEs heal, so they can thrive themselves. I also believe that whereas the focus is so strongly on this generations kids (for good reason, of course), I feel that outside help can be most effective when the parents are healing as well. Our children look up to their parents/guardians most of all! And it's not to late for...
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Negative fateful life events and the brains of middle-aged men [sciencedaily.com]
Writing in the journal Neurobiology of Aging, a research team, led by senior author William S. Kremen, PhD, professor of psychiatry and co-director of the Center for Behavior Genetics of Aging at UC San Diego School of Medicine, found that major adverse events in life, such as divorce, separation, miscarriage or death of a family member or friend, can measurably accelerate aging in the brains of older men, even when controlling for such factors as cardiovascular risk, alcohol consumption,...
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New Toolkit Issued to Help Providers Measure Trauma With ACES Survey [youthtoday.org]
A new toolkit is out that aims to help services providers give a survey about traumatic childhood experiences that are linked to negative effects on health and well-being. The toolkit, developed by The National Crittenton Foundation , offers recommendations about the Adverse Childhood Experiences survey, including how to talk to children and parents about the survey, track results and use the data for public education and policy advocacy. The toolkit also includes a sample protocol, case...
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No, domestic abusers can't have guns, Supreme Court rules, (www.bostonglobe.com)
WASHINGTON — The Supreme Court is upholding the broad reach of a federal law that bans people convicted of domestic violence from owning guns. The justices on Monday rejected arguments that the law covers only intentional acts of abuse and not those committed in the heat of an argument. The case involved two Maine men who said their guilty pleas for hitting their partners should not disqualify them from gun ownership. Complete article: ...
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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
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Parenting, Menopause & ACEs After-the-Chat Summary: Carey Sipp
Have you talked with friends, siblings or co-workers about Parenting with ACEs while going through the change? Do you have any fascinating facts to share about how your OBGYN prepared or supported you when thrown by midlife, hormonal shifts and emotional residue from traumatic stress? Me either. And it's a shame. A lot of people parent, go through menopause, and have survived a bunch of ACEs. Conversations and information shouldn't be so hard to find. But they are. T hat's the reason we...
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Parenting Methods Shown to Impact Outcomes for Kids [PsychCentral.com]
A new study from Japan shows that children who receive positive attention and care from their parents have high incomes, high happiness levels, academic success, and a strong sense of morality. Researchers, led by Dr. Kazuo Nishimura, a project professor at the Kobe University Center for Social Systems Innovation, and Dr. Tadashi Yagi, a professor at the Doshisha University Faculty of Economics, conducted an online survey in January 2016 to discover the effects of parenting methods in Japan.
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Parenting with ACEs Resources: Power Sharing & Sharing Powerfully
Sharing as a trauma survivor, parent (via adoption), writer, and advocate, I'm going to detail what I find crucial in any program or perspective geared towards those currently parenting with ACEs. Most important, is that any program be survivor and peer-led (or co-led). If that's the only change done, it's a good one. Who shares content, and how, is as important as the content being shared. So often, programs to parents are patronizing, punitive, and can come across as "edupuking" all over...
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Parenting with PTSD & ACEs Chats Highlights & How to Find Chat Transcripts
Here are some answers to questions I've had about chats as well as a summary of the highlights from last week's chat . Chat Format The chats are done via typed messaging (no audio or visual). Chats are an hour-long and allow for discussion as well as Q&A. All are welcome to Parenting with ACEs chats. You don't have to have kids or ACEs to attend - though it's fine if you one or both :) You can post questions to a chat ahead of time and review a chat transcript after it has ended.
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PTSD in Women Linked to Cognitive Impairment (www.medscape.com) & Commentary
This article below is about the impact of PTSD on cognitive function in middle-age women. It talks about possible cellular aging and of course I couldn't help but think of ACEs that happen in childhood for the women studied and how much and how early girls are impacted. We know the answer is a lot. Mostly, I'm filled with questions. What's the impact on puberty, periods and sexual health and development? What's the impact on childbearing, pregnancy, fertility post-partum experiences? What's...
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ACE Member Discount 18th Annual Families and Fathers National Conference Limited
I am sharing a 20% discount and that U.S. OCSE as well as trauma experts are actively participating with a special series on March 1st at the 18th Annual Families & Fathers National Conference, "Never Giving Up - Breakthrough 2017", will be hosted by Fathers & Families Coalition of America from February 27 - March 3, 2017 in Los Angeles, CA. Early Bird Registration is now open with full event, two-day or one-day options for individuals to customize their training. The focus of this...
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ACEs Research Corner — July 2018
[Editor's note: Dr. Harise Stein at Stanford University edits a web site -- abuseresearch.info -- that focuses on the health effects of abuse, and includes research articles on ACEs. Every month, she's posting the summaries of the abstracts and links to research articles that address only ACEs. Thank you, Harise!! -- Jane Stevens] Tilson EC. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): An Important Element of a Comprehensive Approach to the Opioid Crisis. N C Med J. 2018 May-Jun;79(3):166-169.
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After Oprah’s Speech: Questions, Courage & Quotes from Clarissa (www.healwritenow.com)
We were so moved and energized by Oprah’ s speech . Now what? What do we do with all that motion and momentum now that the red carpets and cameras have been rolled up and put away? I started a survivor blog fewer than four years ago because I couldn’t find ANY other person writing, thinking and talking about life after a childhood full of trauma. I wasn’t looking for stories about child abuse or trauma but about how adults manage life, love, and parenting after surviving. I didn’t meet, see...
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'All The Rage' Isn't About Moms Having It All — It's About Moms Doing It All [npr.org]
Darcy Lockman conducted interviews with 50 women about the division of labor in their households, and she heard a lot of anger and a lot of gratitude. The gratitude concerned her — here's why: "It was actually a way of walking back their own anger," she says. Women would express legitimate grievances and then say: "But I know women who are in worse situations, so I don't want to complain too much." In her new book, Lockman demonstrates why women have every right to complain. All the Rage:...
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Another from the Fathering as a Survivor Series (www.triggerpointsanthology)
If you know, love, live with, work with or want to better understand men who are survivors, and become fathers, t his entire series has been amazing. Here's an excerpt from the one with Jeff Glover who is part of the malesurvivor.org team and answered some questions. 7. What would you tell another survivor father who is expecting their first child? I would tell him to brace himself! The journey has been the most intense that anyone could imagine. But for all the pain and fear and yes face it...
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Are We Ready for Truth and Reconciliation Around Sexual Violence? #MeToo (wakeup-world.com)
A teenage Icelandic woman is raped by her Australian boyfriend after she’s had too much to drink. In his own immature, conditioned teenage mind, he doesn’t call it rape. Because the media and pornography and the way fathers raise sons and bro’s egg on bro’s, he convinces himself that he was justified in taking what was rightfully his — her body, her vulnerability, her sexuality, maybe even her physical and mental health. She is traumatized by the experience, and in his own way, he is too.
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Article: "A working-class black man has to try 16 times harder to get a therapy appointment than a middle-class white woman"
This headline is by a blog writer, Charles Pulliam-Moore, that summarizes a research study demonstrating this dreadful statistic.
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Association of Reports of Childhood Abuse and All-Cause Mortality Rates in Women (www.archpsyc.jamanetwork.com)
Another study about child abuse, early death and I feel motivated and scared as a mom wtih PTSD from childhood ACEs. How about you? I don't want to die early. I feel I've paid quite enough for my childhood and don't wish to pay some more. I don't want to worry. I also want to be healthy, know my risks and figure out what i can do to promote better health. Here's some news from the "Conclusions and Relevance" portion of the JAMA Psychiatry Association of Reports of Childhood Abuse and...
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Asylum-seeking fathers separated from children by ICE [sandiegouniontribune.com]
Four fathers fleeing death threats from gangs in Central America traveled thousands of miles to reach the safety they saw in the U.S. border. Then immigration officials forced them to hand over their children. The men were together when officials came to take their children about two weeks ago. They haven't been able to talk to their children even by phone since then, they said. “They took him without clothes, without my authorization,” said Eric Matute Castro, 33, one of the fathers, about...
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At the cellular level, a child’s loss of a father is associated with increased stress (www.princeton.edu) & Note
(Cissy's Note: Several men have joined the Parenting with ACEs Community recently as a result of our recent chat on Fathers & ACEs . If you are one of them, welcome to this community. Just a reminder that ALL MEMBERS OF COMMUNITY ARE ENCOURAGED TO SHARE HERE. Please share essays, articles, research, resources, questions, stories, and statistics. Add calendar events to the calendar. Get a discussion going in the discussion section. Leave comments for one another. If you have questions or...
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ACEs Science Champions Series: Because of Andres Perez, 10,000+ Latinx parents in Northern California embrace trauma-informed parenting
Andres Perez immigrated to San Jose, Calif., from Mexico in 1990. He was 24 years old, undocumented, knew little English, lacked job skills, and had a pregnant wife to support. He hit the ground running by completing an ESL program in San Jose City College, and, while working days at any job he could find, at night he earned an associate of science degree with specialization in electronics and computers in 2002. Fortunately for thousands of Latinx parents and their children, he never worked...
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Boys do cry: West Australian farmers break silence on mental health issues [watoday.com.au]
"Boys aren't meant to even cry, but I can assure you I've seen plenty of them do it - and I've even been to that point myself," Wally Newman, a farmer for over 40 years, says as he vows to do his bit to tackle the high suicide rates in rural WA. Financial stress, remoteness, loneliness and isolation are the factors that see more people taking their own lives in the country than in metropolitan WA. Topping a national average, suicide is the leading cause of death for West Australians aged...
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Childbirth Can be Another Source of Trauma for Women Who Were Abused [irishtimes.com]
By Arlene Harris, The Irish Times, February 7, 2020 While it may be an innate and mainly joyful event, many pregnant women feel anxious at the thought of going through labour and can suffer emotional and physical distress during the delivery itself. And there is one group of women for whom there is an extra level of trauma associated with the arrival of their unborn child – those who have been victims of sexual assault. Hazel Larkin is a sexual abuse survivor and over the coming months will...
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Medications for PTSD Tied to Increase Dementia Risk & Commentary / www.mentalhealthexcellence.org
Note: I just saw this article , and it's one alarming and depressing read and super relevant read. Lots of us take these medications and/or have kids, parents, and partners who do as well. Did you know about the increased risk for dementia associated with them? I didn't. To evaluate possible effects, the investigators turned to a nationwide sample of 417,172 US veterans aged 56 years or older who had not been diagnosed with dementia or mild cognitive impairment at baseline in 2003 and for...
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Coronavirus Pandemic likely to Trigger more Post-Traumatic Stress Cases, LSU Researcher Says [nola.com]
By Mark Schleifstein, NOLA.com, March 30, 2020 A combination of stress, trauma and depression triggered by the coronavirus pandemic after the virus abates is likely to increase what’s already a high number of cases of post-traumatic stress disorder among Louisiana residents, who have been hammered by natural and man-made disasters in the past, according to a behavioral epidemiologist at the Louisiana State University School of Public Health. Associate professor Ariane Rung bases that...
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Dads can pass trauma, lifestyle and diet to their children through their sperm, study says [Metro.co.uk]
We know babies inherit genes from their parents but they don’t tend to be environmental factors carried on from parent to children. But a new study shows that sperm can pass traumas that men have experienced in their lives, as well as other lifestyle choices such as diet to their kids. Sperms carry ‘epigenetic’ marks the determine how a child’s cells develop, according to researchers at the University of California, Santa Cruz. Their research comes after a study showed that sons of Union...
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Donna Jackson Nakazawa's Tweet Thread Response to Jennifer Brea & the Angel and the Assassin
While @Donna Jackson Nakazawa is usually too busy writing books, training, and research to blog, she does share gems, nuggets, and information every once in a while on Twitter or Facebook which demand to be turned into blogs. With her permission to post, here's a recent, consolidated Tweet thread version of her writing. It's in response to another thread by Jennifer Brea (which can be found here) where she details about what we can expect from her upcoming book, The Angel and the...
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Each Mind Matters: Raising Awareness For Men's Mental Health
“Don't Drive Like My Brother!” Sound familiar? “Car Talk” is the highly popular, long-running radio show hosted by two brothers who dispense colorful advice to callers to help them solve their car problems. Imagine for a moment a similar show where men – and those who care about them – called in every Sunday morning to ask how to tune up their mental health, to keep their emotions from overheating, or their mind running smoothly? Traditionally, men are raised to be self-sufficient, tough,...
Comment
Re: Get results with better parenting conversations video series (www.successfulsurvivors.org)
Hi Rick: That's an excellent point. While that Muriel Rukeyser quote speaks to me and is why I do what I do as an outspoken advocate, I can see that it doesn't feel inclusive. You are correct, traumatic stress, in children and adults happens to men and women. Thank you for pointing that out. I've changed the quote in my profile. Cissy
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Re: Fathers, Sons, and Intimacy: A Story of Moving Past Childhood Adversity
Hello Hillary Thanks for being a woman who STILL AFFIRMS MEN in a LIFE AFFIRMING WAY. Yes there is a TOXIC MASCULINITY in men are trying to find themselves. Taking off the MASK WE LIVE IN. We all have a "Mask of pretention" putting our best foot forward and that is NOT A GENDER PROBLEM. That is a HUMAN PROBLEM. Rick
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Re: People are loving this dad who wears his baby to work. Here's why it matters. (upworthy.com)
Dana: I always love what you share here. Imagine if this was truly an option for new parents who can do attachment style parenting and still be at work, at least some of the time? Amazing. It seems when men do it there's more support than women do it. I hope this encourages it to be more supported as good for the family all around! Cissy
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Re: Simple Solutions to Real Barriers
Hello Friends Really everyone here in this SHARED PURPOSE is a NEW FAMILY OF AFFILIATION where I can learn How to heal in my broken places and what those internal barriers and external barriers to the goal of finding HELP---HOPE- HEALING for all who want it. Thanks for being a SAFE GROUP of MEN and WOMEN who are beneficial to my life. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. This is what I call the language of the heart which is real and true love. Rick Herranz
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Re: 'I am not okay': The remarkable response to the Charlie Rose allegations, from his CBS colleagues
How you do this is amazing! You — put words to my thoughts and feelings — help validate my concerns — are my unseen sister in a fight to raise consciousness — are a clear voice of reason in a choir of good-hearted humans who so want change and are pained by the slow pace one minute and shocked and alarmed by the velocity of revelations the next. WE ARE THE TRANSITION WOMEN. Just as in childbirth the transition time is the most difficult (trust me on this), the time we’re in, the time between...