Tagged With "Kathleen Friend"
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New Resource: Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic One-Pager (English & Spanish!)
English: The California Department of Public Health, Injury and Prevention Branch (CDPH/IVPB) and the California Department of Social Service, Office of Child Abuse Prevention’s (CDSS/OCAP) , Essentials for Childhood (EfC) Initiative , ACEs Connection , and the Yolo County Children’s Alliance have co-created a newly developed resource, “Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic” in both English and Spanish. This material is intended for Californian families experiencing the severe...
Blog Post
New Resource: Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic One-Pager (English & Spanish!)
English: The California Department of Public Health, Injury and Prevention Branch (CDPH/IVPB) and the California Department of Social Service, Office of Child Abuse Prevention’s (CDSS/OCAP) , Essentials for Childhood (EfC) Initiative , ACEs Connection , and the Yolo County Children’s Alliance have co-created a newly developed resource, “Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic” in both English and Spanish. This material is intended for Californian families experiencing the severe...
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Parenting for Resilience by Kristin Beasley, PhD
Resilience, the ability to overcome adversity, is not an innate skill or genetic trait. Resilience is the ability to recover after adversity strike. None of us escape trauma, at some point in our lives, we will each face at least one overwhelming events that test our capacity to recover. Resilience is a quality that is develops from experiences where a person, even a baby, must deal with manageable stress and is supported enough to recover. It’s not a quality that you are born with, or...
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ACEs science transformed David Magallon’s life, now he’s a parent educator
Learning about ACEs science changed David Magallon’s life in a profound way — and now he’s made it part of his mission to share that knowledge with other parents who really need it. Since 2017, Magallon has served as a court referral programs manager at the Child Parent Institute (CPI) in Santa Rosa, California. The non-profit agency offers child therapy, parent education, and other resources for families throughout Sonoma County. Magallon works with families in a probation program mandated...
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Creating meaning in our choices as CPTSD survivors
There is a place that we get trapped in the choices that we make. I want to think that conflict happens when there is a collision of values between the person you were and the person you are becoming. In the moments of change in the healing process, we reach plateaus, not as in the end but as in a time to create a shift. When this happens, we are faced with making a choice: do we act according to the person we were or the person we have become and are moving in towards. We hit a wall in...
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Caring and Capable Kids: 51 songs playlist by Linda K. Williams
CARING AND CAPABLE KIDS 51 Songs with Resources for Social Emotional Learning Music Therapy and Developing Resilience Empathy Trauma-Informed Lens Caring and Capable Kids book INNERCHOICE Publishing https://www.innerchoicepublishing.com/book/caring-and-capable-kids/ A two-pager is attached with links, too.
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Humility Reflection for Teens (ggia.berkeley.edu)
Time Required This practice can be done at regular intervals when parents want to help their teens cultivate humility. It can take as little as 15 minutes or as long as 45 minutes. How to Do It Humility is about being able to see and accept your strengths and limitations without defensiveness or judgment, as well as being open-minded to other’s perspectives and to new information. This practice can help teens bolster their humility in that second sense—by orienting them toward others and...
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Goodbye from Cissy & Introducing the New Community Manager, Natalie Audage
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community: I'm transitioning out of my role as Community Manager of Parenting with ACEs due to health reasons. However, this community is stronger than ever and will be managed by the kind, warm, and smart @Natalie Audage (PACEs Connection Staff) who I've had the pleasure of working with and now consider a friend. Please keep posting in this community about your experiences. Please share resources, calendar events, infographics, and flyers.
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Re: Goodbye from Cissy & Introducing the New Community Manager, Natalie Audage
My heart holds space for you always my dear friend. My world has been forever changed through meeting you. I have learned the power of listening to understand, the importance of the voice of survivors, and how the term expert must be redefined. You have a way of explaining complex systems, events, impacts and effects like no one I have ever met before. I have taken a master-class in the goodness of humanity just by being your friend. Our friendship and professional journey will continue, for...
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Re: Goodbye from Cissy & Introducing the New Community Manager, Natalie Audage
Robin: We are forever friends now and bonded! We will continue to work together and hang out!! You’ve been a wonderful friend, but also a champion and I’ve watched your influence in this movement & in nursing grow. I’ve learned about harnessing social media & making sure many voices and perspectives are highlighted, heard, and honored! Thank you and thank you for your make me emotional comments as well. I will try to take those words all the way in. I know the power of social and in...
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Does Co-Housing Provide a Path to Happiness for Modern Parents? (nytimes.com)
By Judith Shulevitz , The New York Times, October 22, 2021 Eastern Village, a 55-unit apartment complex off a commercial strip in Silver Spring, Md., is a surprisingly lovely place, considering that it once housed the drab offices of a social workers’ association and then stood abandoned for nearly a decade, water dripping through the ceilings. When I visited this summer, ivy cascaded so exuberantly over the facade that I walked past the entrance. The landscaped courtyard, wrested out of a...
Calendar Event
Lead the Fight: Giving Children with Trauma a Voice
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Is Your Child Suffering From Cyberbullying? Make Sure You Look Out For These Signs
Worried that your child may be secretly cyberbullied? There are signs and changes in your child’s life that can serve as a telltale. This may include subtle or not-so-subtle behavioral changes in your child’s school and social life, how they handle the use of technology, and changes in their emotions and behaviors. You’re a parent, right? You know your child like the back of your hand. Their daily behavior and routine. And even if you find it hard to keep abreast with the latest toys (read:...
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6 tips for healthy communication with parents
As we grow up, we have to rebuild relationships with parents: to get out of the usual adult-child paradigm and learn to speak as equals. At this stage, it is easy to distance yourself from them and lose understanding. We will tell you how to communicate with your parents when you are no longer a child. Talk to them as adults, not as parents If you are angry that your parents still communicate with you like a child, try changing your style of interaction with them. Evaluate how independent...
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Childhood friendship and problems of communication with friends
Being a parent is hard work that moms and dads do, often without special skills and training. And if you successfully manage to cope with the problems of small children that arise in the family circle, then keep your sanity and respond correctly to the child's experiences, for example, due to the lack of friends in kindergarten, on the street, or at school, sometimes might be challenging. So, for most parents, the life of their child seems successful and happy when a son or daughter is in a...
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“What Happened to You?” by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey: a book that resonates with us in the PACEs world
What do PACEs Connection and “What Happened to You?”, the new book by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce Perry, have in common? Almost everything. That’s my conclusion after I finished listening to the book on Audible and re-reading parts of it on Kindle. In the book, Winfrey, a w orld-class connector, journalist, entertainer, author, thought leader, actor, and philanthropist, teams up with her longtime friend Perry, a child psychiatrist, neuroscientist and principal of the neurosequential model of...
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We Didn’t Want to Co-Parent a Puppy (nytimes.com)
By Chloe Caldwell, The New York Times, Sept. 3, 2020 Getting a pandemic puppy seemed like a bad idea for a blended family. Until we did it. Even as a child, I never wanted a dog. When I was a longtime single through my 20s, a friend once asked me who I’d rather be with: a partner who had a dog or a partner who had a cat. I said, “a kid.” My stepdaughter, Louise, is 10 years old and like many girls her age, she has a nurturing and maternal streak. She’s attuned to the needs of her parents,...
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The most important thing you can do with your kids? Play with them! says Dr. Bruce Perry
“The most important thing you can do with your children is play with them!” said Dr. Bruce Perry, noted child psychiatrist and author. He was answering the question, “How do we prepare our children to go back to school next fall?” Perry, a brain expert specializing in how children are impacted by trauma, gave a presentation on his neuro-sequential model of brain development to more than 800 people at an Austin Ed Fund event Monday evening. The co-author, with Oprah Winfrey, of the new book...
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Here's what doulas do, and how they're fighting for Black maternal health [bostonglobe.com]
By Dasia Moore, The Boston Globe, October 13, 2021 When Felicia Love found out she was expecting her second child, she knew she needed a care provider who would make her feel safe. Love was in her early 30s, but the news transported her back to her teenage years, when she first became a mother. “It was a really scary experience for me. I felt really unsupported. I had so many questions that went unanswered,” she recalls. Love’s children are now 24 and 8, raised in her home state of Rhode...
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Easy Tricks to Improve your Relationship with the Child
How often do we hug children or express our love? How to improve relationships with children, to be not just a parent, but also a trusted friend, with whom they feel real closeness? Why relationships are deteriorating When children are very young, up to three years old, they very much feel the emotional state of their mother. If she is tired, irritated, or anxious, the child will be naughty too. Also, at this time, mothers are trying to wean the babies from their hands, and the children do...
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The Secret to Raising a Resilient Kid (NY Times)
By Erik Vance, NY Times, Sept. 1, 2021 The ability to bounce back is more important now than ever; here’s how to impart it. In my early teens, my dad took myself, my best friend and our neighbor on a grueling backpacking trip connecting California’s Yosemite Valley to Half Dome to nearby Clouds Rest mountain and back again. By the second day — halfway up Clouds Rest, on wobbly legs and besieged by mosquitoes — we finally mutinied. The three of us made it clear to my father that we were done.
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Resource: Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic One-Pager (English & Spanish!)
English: The California Department of Public Health, Injury and Prevention Branch (CDPH/IVPB) and the California Department of Social Service, Office of Child Abuse Prevention’s (CDSS/OCAP) , Essentials for Childhood (EfC) Initiative , ACEs Connection , and the Yolo County Children’s Alliance co-created “Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic” in both English and Spanish. This material is intended for Californian families experiencing the severe economic consequences resulting from...
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Father Paul Abernathy: Video Recording, Quotes, Chat Resources & Personal Note
On Tuesday, March 16th, 2021, the Transform Trauma with ACEs Science Film Festival community co-hosted a discussion with Father Paul Abernathy, who founded the Neighborhood Resilience Project and created the Trauma-Informed Community Development (TICD) framework. Please find the Zoom video recording below, followed by select quotes, as well as resources shared in the chat during the event. Recording of Father Paul Abernathy Zoom Appearance on March 16th, 2021 Select Quotes by Father Paul...
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Yardelnarf! for Your Children
My friend Eileen recently revealed a staggering observation she'd made about parenting amid the pandemic. "Some parents feel ashamed if they can't buy the latest, greatest gadget for their kids." It triggered from her an impassioned treatise that expensive gadgets aren't necessary for a child's entertainment. She argued, "You can tell stories with a child, create a puppet show with socks, invent a new game, build a doll house out of a cardboard box!" You just need imagination and a simple...
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Why Covid Has Broken Parents’ Sense of Risk (nytimes.com)
By Jessica Grose, The New York Times, Sept. 15, 2021 Every decision for not-yet-vaccinated kids feels like an unsolvable equation. There was a brief, shining moment in early summer when the decisions around Covid and my family felt manageable. My husband and I were vaccinated and had returned to some of our favorite indoor activities, like stand-up comedy shows and the gym. Our kids were at a mostly outdoor day camp with procedures we trusted, and the local case rate was low. But as July...
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What We Are Not Teaching Boys About Being Human (NY Times)
A while back, at the bookstore with my three sons, I started flicking through a kids’ magazine that had the kind of hyper-pink sparkly cover that screams: “Boys! Even glancing in this direction will threaten your masculinity!” In between the friendship-bracelet tutorials and the “What Type of Hamster Are You, Really?” quizzes, the magazine featured a story about a ’tween girl who had been invited to two birthday parties scheduled for the same time. Not wanting to disappoint either friend,...
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A Solution to the Desperate Need to Belong
As humans, we have a basic, primal need to belong. Belonging is defined as ‘the feeling of security and support when there is a sense of acceptance, inclusion, and identity for a member of a certain group . It is when an individual can bring their authentic self to others, including friendships, family and work.’ Feeling disconnected, unimportant, or not cared about can translate into feelings of loneliness. This has led to much of the suffering our society is experiencing today. Cigna...
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How to Avoid Emotional Burnout This Holiday Season
Whether you celebrate or not, the holiday season can be stressful for many reasons. From experiencing difficult emotions like grief, anger, or resentment that seem to resurface out of nowhere, to the pressures of making everything perfect for everyone, there’s a lot of opportunity for emotional burnout. I’m no stranger to painful emotions re-emerging around this time of the year. Christmas used to trigger in me the feelings of loneliness and guilt for years, following my move across the...
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‘On My Own’: I had to rebuild with my son without support (risemagazine.org)
By Zoraida Ramirez, Rise Magazine, December 08, 2021 A Hard Decision I left my son with a family friend in 2007 when I was 20 years old and he was one and a half. I had run away from foster care and had nowhere to live and no money for food. I was also dealing with depression and trauma—and an abusive partner. I didn’t have support from my family and felt uncared for and alone. The family friend lived in a cozy, nice home. She suggested that I leave my son with her and write a statement...
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Stop Ignoring Mothering as Work (yesmagazine.org)
Every year during Women’s History Month we reflect on the many accomplishments of women and their contributions to society. Now that the month is over, it’s time to face a glaring omission so that it’s not repeated next March. This year, I was particularly concerned that the month’s overfocus on the secular and professional accomplishments of women brought an unintended consequence to undermine mothering as valuable work equally worthy of high-fives, GIFs, reposting, and tweeting. Women’s...
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How do we empower youth in face of the climate crisis?
Whether you are a parent or a guardian, a teacher or a school administrator, if you have children in your life, you might hear them talking about climate change. Whether it’s wildfires or floods or tsunamis and tornados, these events are happening with increasing frequency all around us. Climate change may once have been an abstract concept or foreign idea, but it is now our reality. Young people are more aware than ever of the threats to the planet’s future and are getting involved...
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How do you want your kids to remember you? A new workbook (Futures Without Violence)
Futures Without Violence has worked at the intersection of fatherhood and domestic violence for more than two decades. How do you want your kids to remember you? is a workbook for fathers who have harmed their partners and families and want to change. It is based on years of practice experience, research, and the voices of parent and child survivors and fathers who have hurt their families, renounced their abuse, and repaired their relationships with their children. It introduces practical...
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Register now to lead a "What Happened to You?" book study and attend leader training on July 27!
Register NOW to learn how to lead a book study of What Happened to You? by Bruce D. Perry, MD PhD, and Oprah Winfrey in your community! Learn how you can bring a book club on to your community and help inspire a desire to work together to create a more equitable society. Come hear lessons learned and tips about how you can use the Alliance’s book club guide in working with your community. Children’s Trust Fund Alliance (CFTA) will conduct this training on Wednesday, July 27, 3-5 p.m. ET.
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Strangers showed up to give the coolest birthday party of all time to 8-year-old girl who only got 1 RSVP (upworthy.com)
Charlotte Joy’s eighth birthday was fast approaching. Birthdays are often a source of unbridled joy for kids this age. Sadly, this wasn't the case for Charlotte. At least, not at first. The young girl from Tennessee had experienced tragedy a few months prior—losing her mother, Jenny Wren, to brain cancer. Knowing a time for celebration would be more important than ever, her older sister, Chloe Sexton, tried to organize a birthday party, sending out invitations to all her classmates. Only one...
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Register now! Oct. 12, 2022—Connecting Communities One Book at a Time webinar with Donna Jackson Nakazawa on “Girls on the Brink: Helping our Daughters Thrive in an Era of Increased Anxiety, Depression and Social Media”
October 12, 2022, from 3-4:30 p.m. ET Register now! Meet longtime friend of PACEs Connection and award-winning author, science journalist, and international speaker Donna Jackson Nakazawa as she shares insights and findings from her newest book, “ Girls on the Brink: Helping our Daughters Thrive in an Era of Increased Anxiety, Depression and Social Media ”. Her seven books explore the intersection of neuroscience, immunology, and human emotion, and are in 12 languages. Register now to join...
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‘Girls on the Brink’ — next choice for upcoming PACEs Connection book study – available in “indie bookstores” for a discount!
“Girls on the Brink: Helping Our Daughters Thrive in an Era of Increased Anxiety, Depression, and Social Media”, published today, is available at a pre-launch discount of up to $1.96 (from the $28 cover price to $26.04) via independent bookstores . The book is the seventh by Donna Jackson Nakazawa, acclaimed author, science journalist, international speaker and longtime friend of PACEs Connection. Jackson will join PACEs Connection for our second “Connecting Communities One Book at a Time”...
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Register NOW for September 20 Book Study Leader Check-in and other "What Happened to You?" book study resources
It's not too late to lead your own book study of What Happened to You? by Bruce D. Perry, MD PhD, and Oprah Winfrey in your community! Register NOW to attend the Book Study Leader Check-In with Children’s Trust Fund Alliance on Tuesday, Sept. 20, 7-8:30 p.m. ET This is an opportunity to share your experiences as a book study leader, raise questions, make recommendations, and celebrate with us. Open to all book study leaders and those who may want to facilitate a study! This event is part of...
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Register now! Oct. 12, 2022—Connecting Communities One Book at a Time webinar with Donna Jackson Nakazawa on “Girls on the Brink: Helping our Daughters Thrive in an Era of Increased Anxiety, Depression and Social Media”
October 12, 2022, from 3-4:30 p.m. ET Register now! Meet longtime friend of PACEs Connection and award-winning author, science journalist, and international speaker Donna Jackson Nakazawa as she shares insights and findings from her newest book, “ Girls on the Brink: Helping our Daughters Thrive in an Era of Increased Anxiety, Depression and Social Media ”. Her seven books explore the intersection of neuroscience, immunology, and human emotion, and are in 12 languages. Register now to join...
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Emotional neglect in marriages, part two
Emotional neglect is a topic that is rarely discussed, even by psychologists, and most people don't recognise it as a problem. Emotional neglect is so easily misunderstood because, unlike emotional or physical abuse that have actual negative actions, emotional neglect is a LACK of action. In other words, emotional neglect refers to a person’s failure or refusal to respond adequately to another’s emotional needs. Dr. Jonice Webb defines it this way: “Emotional neglect is a failure to notice,...
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How to Apologize: Advice from a Trauma-Informed Expert
If you’re familiar with the trauma-informed space, you know that we often talk about the experience of feeling seen, heard, and valued. We talk about creating space at the table for everyone, practicing vulnerability to strengthen relationships, and holding ourselves accountable when we make mistakes. These are all great topics to discuss, but it can prove challenging to distill these larger ideas into practice. But, when we talk about apologizing, we wrap all of these complex concepts up...