Tagged With "parent drug addiction"
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Mothers Who Leave Their Children (www.lithub.com) & Commentary
There are times I can't talk. It might be after I read something or hear something or watch the news. I'm rarely triggered by honesty, writing or memoir. I'm triggered by smells, nightfall and feeling trapped. Truth, even what is called "ugly truth," to me, when told, is always a window opening letting the air move. Sometimes, I don't realize I'm clenched in my body or my life and holding tight to a secret or memory or belief. It's when I read a piece like this and feel a nod of knowing, not...
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My Encounter With Harvey Weinstein and What it Tells Us About Trauma
I have been watching the scandal about Harvey Weinstein emerge with great interest – in the early ‘90s, I too was one of the young women he preyed upon.
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The CDC and WHO are teaming up to end the ‘contagious disease’ of child violence [WashingtonPost.com]
The world can be a dark place for many children: the "lost boys" from Sudan, refugees fleeing the conflict in Syria, child sex workers in Brazil, baby girls abandoned in China, kids pulled into gang drug wars in the United States. Such suffering by children is more common than most people might think and represents what some believe to be one of our biggest public-health crises of all time. A study published in January in the journal Pediatrics puts that violence into stark perspective by...
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The Crappy Childhood Fairy on Amee Quiriconi's ONE BROKEN MOM Podcast
The other day I was the guest on Amee Quiriconi’s podcast ONE BROKEN MOM, which is focused on parenting, kids and the effects of trauma on how we manage it all. It was so fun talking with a fellow traveler, helping to get the word out about how we heal from Childhood PTSD. You can check out One Broken Mom here. You can take my online course, “ Healing Childhood PTSD” here .
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The Healing our Children World Summit starts March 1
The Healing our Children World Summit (free, online event) starts March 1
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The Healing Place Podcast - Joyelle Brandt: Parenting with PTSD
I am grateful to have had the chance to sit down with Joyelle Brandt to discuss her mission of helping those who are parenting with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). Thank you, Joyelle, for sharing your personal story and the beautiful work you are doing helping others along their parenting and healing journey. What a gift for those families and the children who will benefit from the steps their parents are taking to heal.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The Key To Good Enough Parenting - Repair The Rupture
Good enough parenting is about repairing relationship ruptures with your child. Reach out, discuss, reconnect - repair the rupture to avoid later problems
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The Legacy of Untreated Secondhand Drinking-Related ACEs
I am the child of an alcoholic. My mom didn’t stop drinking until age 79. She died at 84. There was no warning, no lingering illness. She died two days after an unsuccessful emergency surgery. But we had five years during which she did not drink, after forty-five years during which she did. You see, my mom knew she had a drinking problem. So did we, the rest of her family. There were times when she fought mightily to stop or control it. There were times when the rest of us fought mightily to...
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The Nurtured Parent Revolution: Transforming Trauma through Love, Healing, and Social Justice Activism
Many family courts across the nation routinely fail the most vulnerable in our society: mothers and their children in crisis seeking a life free from abuse. In 2012, the U.S. Department of Justice released the Saunders Report , a study that found the standard and required domestic violence training received by judges, lawyers, and custody evaluators, does not adequately prepare them to handle abuse cases. Inadequately trained professionals tend to believe the myth that mothers frequently...
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The Perils Of Pushing Kids Too Hard, And How Parents Can Learn To Back Off (npr.org)
"Even though I was getting A's and B's, mostly A's, in all my classes — all my honors classes — I still felt it wasn't good enough," Savannah says. No matter how well she did, someone else was doing better. "The pressure I put on myself was out of control," she says. She says she felt the pressure all around her — from peers, teachers and her parents. Newfound awareness of these kinds of struggles, has started a conversation — and new initiatives — in her community. A group of parents is...
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The Powerful Role of Parents in Tackling Bullying
Parents also have the power to prevent bullying by changing family dynamics. They may not know it, and they may not know how to do it.
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The Problem with ACEs Implementation
The Adverse Childhood Experiences study was ground-breaking in its recognition that childhood trauma impacts individuals across their lifespan. This was the big take-away, that adults are living with unrecognized and thus untreated physical, mental and emotional consequences that have massive detrimental impacts on their quality (and quantity) of life. And yet, when we see the research and programming that has been implemented following the ACE study, the consensus seems to be that the...
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The Relentless School Nurse: Full Disclosure: I am Fearful to Welcome Another September
School is about to begin and for the first time in my 18 years as a school nurse, I am fearful to welcome another September. I work in an urban district where community gun violence is sadly commonplace, but that is not my fear. I travel throughout the city from school to school where drug dealing is an open-air exercise, but that is not my fear. Emergencies are often solitary experiences because school nurses work independently, but that is not my fear. Families facing deportation from...
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The Relentless School Nurse: How Parents Can Work with School Nurses to Improve Their Kid’s Health by Cathy Cassata
One of the lessons learned from the Woodhull Study Revisited is that when a health reporter contacts a nurse, we need to be ready to respond in a timely manner. Just 10 days ago, I received this inquiry through the Relentless School Nurse Facebook page: I thank Barbara Glickstein for her expert guidance in nursing media competencies because I felt prepared to speak with Cathy and things certainly did move quickly! I was honored to contribute to this article along with Linda Mendonca, MSN,...
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The Relentless School Nurse: Parenting with High ACEs – Voices of Lived Expertise
Christine “Cissy” White is leading a movement to make sure that parents with high Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) scores have the resources and support they need to end the trend of generational trauma that so many have i nherited and unknowingly passed on to their children. The voice of the parent is first and foremost in Cissy’s plan of action. To reach this goal, Cissy had to first find her own voice, which she has done brilliantly through writing, speaking and leading workshops.
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The Relentless School Nurse: The Text Message No Parent Wants to Get - An Active Shooter is at School
Many blog readers know that my niece Carly is a survivor of the Parkland shootings at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. You may know that my father also survived a mass murder, and like Carly, hid in a closet until the police arrived. Almost 70 years separated the two tragedies. Our guest blogger this week is my sister Merri, Carly's mom. Merri shares her first-hand account of what happened the afternoon of February 14, 2018, when Carly sent this text, “Mom don’t freak out but we are on...
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The Rise of the Trauma-Informed Mothers
The next generation is less likely to wear predisposed shackles of trauma because as trauma-informed parents we are re-wiring the traumatically stressed DNA that was passed down to us.
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter February 2020
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php or http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-02-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_February_2020.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael. Newsletter Contents : 1] This coat design isn't just saving lives. It's launching new careers for homeless people – CNN...
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The Teenagers of Rikers Island [TheAtlantic.com]
In Tim Lisante’s first year as an assistant principal at a school for youth on the prison complex Rikers Island 30 years ago, he met a student with four strikes against her. She had a learning disability, substance abuse problem, no permanent home in the city—and she was pregnant. Some might have seen a lost cause. Lisante saw a student in crisis. Three decades later, Lisante is the superintendent of New York City’s District 79, which consists of over 14,000 students who have fallen behind...
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How to Connect with a Child After Trauma
Are you struggling to help a child who has been through hard times? Does the child seem unreachable, unmanageable, and unwilling to try? Are you at your at the end of your rope with explosive behavior? If so, I have a concept to share with you that might help the two of you connect and increase positive interactions within your family or classroom. I want to start by saying that it can be incredibly frustrating and anxiety-provoking to witness a child who is suffering emotionally without the...
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How to Give Your Kids What You Never Had
As child abuse survivors, we work really hard to do the best we can with our children. We want them to have what we didn’t. So we try to create a healthy, nourishing environment to help our kids grow and thrive in the best way possible. But after working all day, sometimes there isn’t much left of us for our children. That used to bother me a lot. I felt like I wasn’t giving my kids 100% of what they needed from me. Finally, I realized I was trying to give them what “I” felt they needed, not...
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How to Parent CALMLY (and Raise Happier Kids) When You Have Childhood PTSD
So many readers have written to me sharing their worries -- and their success stories -- around raising happy, healthy children despite having their own PTSD from childhood. The fear that we'll hurt the kids can hold us back from setting limits, yet losing control of kids' behavior can escalate discipline into a recipe for nervous system dysregulation and emotional overwhelm. In this video I talk about my worst parenting mistake, and how I.... ( Read More and watch the video at the Crappy...
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Imagine living inside a box buried inside a box buried inside a box...
That's how Dr. Kent Hoffman, Co-Originator of Circle of Security International began his comments about this incredible new resource for parents! See his full statement below. A short six years ago, ChildWise Institute was founded by Intermountain , a nationally-recognized organization specializing in helping and healing children from emotional and mental health disorders. Intermountain are also experts in helping families of distressed children create a nurturing environment of stability...
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In Photos: A Mother Adjusts to Parenting After Prison [YesMagazine.org]
When Kendra Wright was incarcerated for drug-related offenses at Oregon’s only women’s prison, her then-6-year-old daughter, Selene, was placed in the care of Wright’s grandparents. Prohibited from speaking to Selene, Wright cherished what little contact she had: Wright’s grandmother would call her while Selene was in the same room. “It was the only way I could hear her little voice,” Wright said. But in 2013, Wright was accepted to the Family Preservation Project, an initiative then run by...
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Infants and Toddlers Need Strong Parents [clasp.org]
Parents play the most active and significant role in their baby’s healthy development. Young children learn and grow in strong families where parents are able to successfully face the challenge of nurturing their children. During the first three years of life, experiences are shaping a child’s brain and providing the foundation for later development. Parenting support services, which range from informational resources to more intensive interventions, can help improve parenting skills,...
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Intermountain Video Podcast: How Kids Navigate a Pandemic
Meegan Bryce, MSW, began her work at Intermountain with children and families as a Direct Care Counselor in 2004. She has since been a Cottage Supervisor, Child and Family Therapist, the Residential Manager and now serves as the Residential Director. Meegan is a Montana native and enjoys all the outdoor activities that Montana has to offer, especially river rafting. In this video podcast, she speaks with Development Officer Tyler Zimmer about how the Covid-19 pandemic is affecting the...
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Introducing myself: Cissy White, parent with ACEs who’s parenting with ACEs (and who’s the Parenting with ACEs group's new group manager!)
I learned about the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study and 10- questionnaire survey only two years ago, and it’s fair to say I’ve been obsessed with it ever since. I’m a mother, a trauma survivor, an activist and a writer. For years, I’ve written personal essays , profile pieces and a few research-style papers about post-traumatic stress disorder, developmental trauma and interpersonal violence. Yet, something was missing. In my own recovery, I’d often say, in therapy and to friends and lovers,...
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Introducing the Full Potential Parenting Podcast!
I'm excited to announce that The Full Potential Parenting Podcast is here! This podcast features short (6-12 min.) segments with stress release techniques that work, offers book reviews of books that have been transformational, informative, or inspiring, introduces concepts critical to any parent of a child who is experiencing big (and confusing) emotions and behaviors, and provides insights about non-pharma approaches to healing. The first few episodes are now available on iTunes here:...
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Keene event focuses on childhood trauma (www.sentinelsource.com)
Excerpts from article in today's Keene Sentine l by Jessica Ricard.
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When Parents Fear "It's All My Fault"
Many of my colleagues in the field of early childhood mental health work with what are termed "high risk" populations. Children of drug addicted parents, victims of child abuse, and families in abject poverty. While the challenges these families face are daunting, I find myself feeling some envy for my colleagues whose clients are in such obvious distress that the need for intensive treatment of parent and infant is not in question. In my rural, small-town population things are not so clear.
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When Should a Child Be Taken from His Parents? (www.newyorker.com)
Excerpt from an article written by B Larissa McFarquhar. The Illustration (above) is by Anna Parini. What should you do if child-protective services comes to your house? You will hear a knock on the door, often late at night. You don’t have to open it, but if you don’t the caseworker outside may come back with the police. The caseworker will tell you you’re being investigated for abusing or neglecting your children. She will tell you to wake them up and tell them to take clothes off so she...
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When Will the Internet Be Safe for Women (Atlantic.com)
*Note: I'm posting this to the Parenting with ACEs site because so many of us have daughters who face this and the responses, often, by authorities are so poor. While some of us may not want or need to be on social media in our personal or professional lives, many choose to be and/or need to be and should be able to exercise the right with safety. This is another cyber safety issue but not one addressed early or often enough. At minimum this can help better educate all of us so we can better...
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When Your Child Is Your PTSD Trigger
One-third of children experience childhood abuse, and yet the question is never asked: what happens when those children grow up and have families of their own?
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WHY FAMILY SUPPORT MATTERS? (Its Importance for Strengthening Resilience from Adverse Childhood Experiences-ACEs)
Graduation day - a picture of my mother and me after I received my Bachelor of Arts degree in Criminal Justice (Corrections) studies from Kent State University in June 1977. This was seven years after that fateful summer of 1970 when my mother and I realized that our family needed some help. When I look back at that time, I marvel at the love of GOD and the love from both parents as they began to realize that the harmful consequences of their domestic violence squabbles and of my father’s...
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Why Girls Who Face Toxic Stress are More Vulnerable to Adult Illness: The Shocking Relationship Between Being Female, #ACEs, Autoimmune Disease and Depression
This blog is about WHY Adverse Childhood Experiences are a #METOO ISSUE. I want to talk about how and why toxic childhood stress – also as #ACEs — is a #metoo issue of the greatest magnitude. For girls and for the adult women they become. One thing readers know about the work I do and the books I write, including Childhood Disrupted , The Autoimmune Epidemic , and The Last Best Cure , is that I focus on the intersection of neuroscience, immunology and emotion – while shining a spotlight on...
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Why I Put my Drug-Affected Daughter Back on Drugs (www.brainchildmag.com)
Note: This essay is written by Melissa Hart. She is a parent with ACEs parenting a child with ACEs. I look around at the life we’ve created for her—the bedroom full of books and dress-up clothes and musical instruments, the photos on the wall of our family vacations to tropical beaches and wildflower mountains and national parks. I fight an urge to shake her little shoulders and stare into her big brown hostile eyes and yell, “Why can’t you just be happy?” But I don’t . . . because I know...
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Why Icelandic Dads Take Parental Leave and Japanese Dads Don't [theatlantic.com]
By Joe Pinsker, The Atlantic, January 23, 2020 Earlier this month, the 38-year-old Japanese environment minister, Shinjiro Koizumi, did something that would not make national, or even local, news in many industrialized countries: A couple of days before the birth of his and his wife’s first child, he said he planned to take time off from work to care for the baby. Koizumi’s planned leave is meager—he expects to take about two weeks off over the course of three months, and might still work...
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Why Kids With ACEs Shouldn't Get a Pass on Chores
Don't worry that chores are too stressful for kids with ACEs, says trauma researcher Bob Sege, MD. “You don’t want to coddle them,” Sege said, “because the message they will get is that they are damaged goods. They need to know that the adversity they suffered is only one part of them; it’s not all of them.”
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Women and men military veterans, childhood adversity and alcohol and drug use [medicalxpress.com]
Results of a national study led by public health scientist Elizabeth Evans at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, with others at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) and the University of California, Los Angeles, suggest that risk for alcohol and drug use disorders among United States military veterans is increased by childhood adversity, and in ways that are different between women and men and different compared to the civilian population. Evans, an assistant professor of...
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Writing to Heal (edutopia.org)
As a teacher in an alternative classroom in the Aleutian Islands, I work with many students who have experienced trauma, including drug abuse, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, abuse, and poverty. Driven by a conviction that my greatest responsibility is not helping them pass but helping them better realize their human potential, I teach language arts by focusing on ideas and content aimed at helping them grow emotionally as well as intellectually. I use a Nancy Atwell–inspired writing...
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Writing to Heal, Yoga to Feel & Survivor-Led Resources Online
I love yoga and writing. I need yoga and writing. Both are relatively affordable and can be done alone and at home or in community. Both have been central to my survival, recovery and growth which I write about below. I also love sharing and supporting survivor-led resources created for survivors and others. Here are two links to those if you want to get to those right away. There are more details about each following the essay: Write Your Story, Heal Your Life Summit: Alaura O'Dell...
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Young Parents Speak Out: Barriers, Bias, and Broken Systems [aecf.org]
By National Crittenton and Katcher Consulting, Annie E. Casey Foundation, March 2020 Founded in 1883 as a social justice advocacy organization, National Crittenton has been dedicated to the needs and potential of girls, young women and women facing violence, poverty and injustice across the country for more than a century. Additionally, National Crittenton convenes the 26 Yet, systems have turned a blind eye to the ways in which the “safety net” designed for adults is a “trap” for young...
Ask the Community
ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Hello all, I work at an Early Learning Center and we will be presenting on ACES and Resilience to the parents of preschoolers. One of the aspects we have debated is when to offer them the ACES and Resilience surveys. However, after reading https://www.acesconnection.com/blog/putting-resilience-and-resilience-surveys-under-the-microscope I am wondering what purpose it would ultimately serve (and what unintended consequences it may have) to give parents the surveys. It would be optional, and...
Ask the Community
Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
Let's create a list of resources useful for parenting ourselves and children. These can be books about child development or self-help books or a work of fiction that had important wisdom. If there's a title that's helped you or someone you know, love or work with as it relates to parenting, please share. For me, my absolute favorite is this: There's Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber This book is not about parenting. It's not about how-to parent I should say but it...
Ask the Community
Can Trauma-Informed Mermaids Help Children & Families? (New Kids Book Series)
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community, We just launched a new trauma-informed children's book series called Venus and Her Fly Trip . The series has been developed in collaboration with therapists, educators, parents and healers and is designed to promote mental/social/emotional health, body positivity and imaginative play in kids 4-10 , with the ultimate goal of preventing self-hatred. I would greatly value hearing the feedback of the ACEs community on this endeavor, and welcome your ideas for...
Ask the Community
Help our public radio station with our reporting: How did separation from your parents as a child impact you?
KQED is the NPR-affiliate public radio station based in San Francisco, CA. We’d like to hear from adults (18+) who were separated from their parents when they were children. Perhaps the separation was due to economic reasons, war and conflict, incarceration, foster care, or something else. How did that period of separation impact you in the long-run? How did it impact you as a parent? We’re interested in this topic due to recent news of parents and children being separated at the U.S.-Mexico...
Ask the Community
If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
I would like to talk to and hear from parent educators. If you teach parenting classes, incorporate parenting skills as part of the service you provide, or work to improve the lives of parenting survivors of childhood abuse in other ways, I need to hear from you. I'm hoping to find a provider interesting in writing an essay to be included in the soon to be released second edition of the Trigger Points Anthology , which will include the title change to Parenting with PTSD. I'm looking to gain...
Ask the Community
Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Hi everyone! I've made a blog (not yet launched) called A Resilient Parent (aresilientparent.com). I have a few goals in mind for this blog. First i want to help parents with ACEs heal, so they can thrive themselves. I also believe that whereas the focus is so strongly on this generations kids (for good reason, of course), I feel that outside help can be most effective when the parents are healing as well. Our children look up to their parents/guardians most of all! And it's not to late for...