Tagged With "adult survivors"
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Anxious Attachments in Relationships
As an Asian male in his forties and a single dad to a teenage son, I've always felt it hasn't been easy to meet women that I can connect with. In addition, my track record of being in relationships has been far from stellar. As a childhood abuse survivor, I unknowingly took the pain I endured into my relationships. With zero self-awareness, I was insecure and needy, which resulted in a lot of angry outbursts and emotional abuse towards my partners.
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Beware of Lowering Expectations for Foster Youth (www.chronicleofsocialchange.org)
If someone lives through trauma I see that as a success. Not everyone does. But what makes people feel supported, encouraged or able to grow varies enormously. I loved reading about this woman's perspective based on her own experiences. I especially like the way she talks about how painful pity can be and some of my most healing relationships were with people who had compassion for what I'd lived through but who were completely certain that I had as much potential as anyone or saw living...
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Breaking the Cycle: Parenting After Being Raised in Hell (www.thefix.com)
Parenting with ACEs & Parenting After Trauma: If you write or read any essays or articles about parenting with ACEs, please share them. I'll make sure to do the same. Resources are welcome as well. The only abuser left in your life,” a yoga therapist said to me once, “is you.” When I talked about what a lazy, gruesome idiot I was another therapist would say, “Your self hears you.” She would look at me and wince at the way I was slicing and dicing myself on my own dime. I didn’t even...
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Cancer as a survivor
Many people use the phrase CPTSD to stand for PTSD from complex trauma. To me, C-PTSD means cancer and PTSD. I have cancer and I’m a trauma survivor. I’m a survivor with cancer but not yet a cancer survivor. Will I be a survivor squared?
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Cannitta’s Story: Surviving, Not Living (www.lsnj.org)
I just saw this video and comment on my friend Heidi's Facebook page and it made me teary. Here's the video: Here's Heidi's comment: I hope she does because she's been a mom at 16 who is poor and has an ACE score of 9 and who has had to fight to become and to feel safe. We need people like Heidi running programs and organizing support because getting it, having lived it makes one know things those who haven't don't.
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Careful, It's Not Over Yet & Parenting with ACEs & PTSD
Note: Dawn Daum & Joyelle Bran dt are the featured guests on the live chat held in the Parenting with ACEs Group on Tuesday, June 13th at 10 AM PST / 1 PM PST. The topic is Parenting with PTSD & ACEs. Dawn and Joyelle are artists, activists and parents. They met a few years ago and set about creating an online community for parent survivors to working to break the cycle of abuse. Here's a small sample of the work they have done and are doing: Wrote a resource about Parenting as an...
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Chat Event TODAY! Menopause, Parenting & ACEs with Carey Sipp
How to Attend Chat Event on August 8th @ 10 AM PST / 1 PM EST : If You are a Member of the Parenting with ACEs Group Go to Parenting with ACEs Group on August 8th. Find Featured Chat at top. If You're Not a Member of the Parenting with ACEs Group Go to Groups, All Groups, find Parenting with ACEs Group , Join This Group. Find Featured Chat at top of page. More about the Chat: Carey Sipp is a health writer, parenting educator and trauma-informed communities advocate. She is the author of The...
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Childbirth Can be Another Source of Trauma for Women Who Were Abused [irishtimes.com]
By Arlene Harris, The Irish Times, February 7, 2020 While it may be an innate and mainly joyful event, many pregnant women feel anxious at the thought of going through labour and can suffer emotional and physical distress during the delivery itself. And there is one group of women for whom there is an extra level of trauma associated with the arrival of their unborn child – those who have been victims of sexual assault. Hazel Larkin is a sexual abuse survivor and over the coming months will...
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Childhood Trauma and Adult Pain: Is There a Connection? (NationalPainReport.com)
I found this article (from 2014) about women with chronic illness/pain and how many take offense at doctors stating that their pain is due to childhood trauma. I was surprised and not so surprised by this, since the offense they take is related to them feeling like their doctor thinks their pain is “all in their head” and they need a therapist and is therefore not a legitimate medical issue. Only 22% think their pain is linked to childhood trauma. Article: Seven out of 10 women with chronic...
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Children of Addiction Awareness Week - Bringing ACEs Into Conversations and Celebrations
Children of Addiction (COA) Awareness Week is an annual celebration near and dear to my heart for many reasons, not the least of which are my personal experiences as a child of an alcoholic and as a child with four ACEs - three of which were the result of secondhand drinking (explained below). COA Week is an annual event celebrated during the week of Valentine’s Day - this year it's February 11 - 17. It is sponsored by the National Association for Children of Addiction, NACoA.org . NACoA’s...
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Choked & Soared: Public Speaking about Parenting After Childhood Trauma
I gave a keynote address to over 100 people. I’m not bragging. It was an epic failure. And an epic personal triumph. I traveled alone, spoke in public, met new people and shared meal times with total strangers! I tackled social anxiety, figured out flights, luggage and directions. I went in elevators and walked halls alone, without pepper spray. I searched in closets and under beds for monsters and then was able to fall asleep, and stay asleep, without drinking. Twice. Huge. Enormous.
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"Don't Try This Alone" to Amazon
Today is a six-year milestone for me: I've just uploaded my book "Don't Try This Alone: The Silent Epidemic of Attachment Disorder" to Amazon's editors! 😸 😍 It should be on sale 2nd half November. A professional artist designed a new book cover so I also just changed my website today to show it off. Here's my new website showing parts of the book jacket: http://attachmentdisorderhealing.com/allan-schore/
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Re: Get results with better parenting conversations video series (www.successfulsurvivors.org)
What would happen IF ONE "TRAUMA SURVIVOR" WHO NO LONGER WANTED TO BE A UNTREATED VICTIM told the truth. Violence, abuse, and addictions is not a GENDER PROBLEM. iTS A human problem. Rick
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Re: Get results with better parenting conversations video series (www.successfulsurvivors.org)
Hi Rick: That's an excellent point. While that Muriel Rukeyser quote speaks to me and is why I do what I do as an outspoken advocate, I can see that it doesn't feel inclusive. You are correct, traumatic stress, in children and adults happens to men and women. Thank you for pointing that out. I've changed the quote in my profile. Cissy
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Re: What If I've Given My Children Bipolar Disorder? (www.ravishly.com) & Commentary
I am a lost child, survivor of trauma and neglect! I struggled all through childhood, and got myself to therapy at age, 16. I had decided as a child that I would not have children, because I did not want to bring another human being into this world to be vulnerable like I was. I was never a parent, so, it is hard for me to know what it is like. I hope, joining groups like this can help me heal and feel hope and become healther and have more compassion for real mothers and thier children.
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Re: What If I've Given My Children Bipolar Disorder? (www.ravishly.com) & Commentary
Karen: Thank you for being here. This is not a group only for parents. Parenting ourselves, at any age, can be great healing and ALL are welcome. I'm sorry your childhood was filled with pain and struggling. Here's to more health and compassion for all of us! Cissy
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Re: The Problem with ACEs Implementation
Gladys: Please share what you and you husband are doing towards to the Primary Prevention of ACEs! It's SO GOOD to hear you are also focusing on how not to further harm parents. Part of the reason so many of us trauma survivor parents have become advocates is because that can happen. Or, sometimes parents are treated as a total afterthought. Please share what you are doing, learning, creating! Cissy
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Re: Introducing myself: Cissy White, parent with ACEs who’s parenting with ACEs (and who’s the Parenting with ACEs group's new group manager!)
Hi Cizsy, I am a survivor of child abuse also with a ACE Score of 7. I am now 63 yrs old and dealing with pains of a sandwich generation. I have two adult children five grandsons who I want to enjoy. All are healthy and whole I have been in self healing all of my life. Yet I am still care taking my mom and mentally ill brother. I am sure us baby boomers are going to be looking for help & support. Roxy Foster
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Re: Is ACEs Advocacy Worth Risking Professional Backlash?
Dawn: Thanks for posting. This is a great piece. I'm with you in knowing the risks are real with "coming out" as a survivor. There is impact us and some loss of privacy - even if it's voluntary and chosen. But it's not like we aren't impacted when we are silent or silenced. We are. It's just maybe in different ways. think it varies so much depending on our specific jobs, careers and the particular workplace and people we work with as well as And this varies so much depending on our specific...
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Re: Is ACEs Advocacy Worth Risking Professional Backlash?
Cis, being "googlable" effects everything now. Especially parenting. I often talk to my daughter (she's almost 8, my son is only 4) about the work I do helping people who have difficult lives. I make a point to not say mental illness but that's a whole other topic. What I find difficult is when I'm working at home on ACESs related advocacy work and she asks me what it is and why. It's tough to figure out how much detail and personal truths to answer her with.
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Re: If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
Dawn: This is a great question and will make the book even more useful. Are you looking for survivor-led or co-led, only, initiatives, or everything and anything? Cissy
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Re: Power and Partnership: A Guide to Improving Frontline Practice with Parents in the Child Welfare System (www.risemagazine.org) & the Importance of Lived Expertise
Thank you, Cissy, for mentioning us. At Echo, we are focused on survivors and survivor empowerment. That, I believe, is the true definition of being trauma-informed. If professionals come to our trainings and are thrown off by the fact we are survivor-centered, then they are missing the point. Being trauma-informed is not another skill or string to the professional bow. If it does not focus ultimately on restoring the power and control to survivors over their own lives, it is not healing and...
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Re: Power and Partnership: A Guide to Improving Frontline Practice with Parents in the Child Welfare System (www.risemagazine.org) & the Importance of Lived Expertise
Louise: I'm going to have to quote you on this. Thanks for walking the talk and helping show how it's done. " Being trauma-informed is not another skill or string to the professional bow. If it does not focus ultimately on restoring the power and control to survivors over their own lives, it is not healing and it is not trauma-informed. " Please let me know of other people and orgs as I want to keep shining a light on survivor-led, survivor-centered work and I know there's much more than I'm...
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Meet The Black Ballerina and Entrepreneur Helping People Heal From Their Trauma [blackenterprise.com]
By Lydia Blanco, Black Enterprise, May 15, 2020 Tyde-Courtney Edwards, founding director of Ballet After Dark , is a classically trained black ballerina , art model, and survivor of sexual assault who is on a mission to help others heal from their trauma through the art of ballet. Now, during the pandemic, she is helping people unwind and reset their focus on healing virtually as her studio is closed. Edwards began her journey at the Baltimore School for the Arts and has over 20 years of...
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Survivor Stories to Build Partnerships: Tools for Domestic Violence Service Providers [jsi.com]
From John Snow, Inc., June 2020 The connection between domestic violence (DV), social determinants of health, and other pressing issues may not always be clear to potential partners who do not work in the DV/trauma prevention fields. JSI developed a set of tools for domestic violence service providers—in the form of stories—to address this gap. The first three stories depict the connection between DV and a key social issue (housing instability, economic insecurity, or childhood adversity).
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Trauma, Attachment and Relationships
Trauma, Attachment and Relationships Understanding trauma, attachment and relationships are important concepts to consider when operating from a trauma-informed approach. The world is experiencing many traumatic events at this time and no doubt, therapists will have a lot to assist with as we continue to work through these problems and deal with the aftermath both personally and professionally. As many of us know, the therapeutic relationship is a crucial component when operating from a...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter June 2020
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us. Thanks! Michael. The Surviving Spirit Newsletter June 2020 http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-06-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_June_2020.pdf Newsletter Contents : 1] I desperately miss human touch. Science may explain why. By...
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Transforming Trauma Podcast: Strange Situation - A Journey into Understanding Attachment, Motherhood and Developmental Trauma
Transforming Trauma Episode 016: Strange Situation: A Journey into Understanding Attachment, Motherhood and Developmental Trauma with Bethany Saltman In this episode of Transforming Trauma, author Bethany Saltman shares the lessons she learned while writing Strange Situation: A Mother’s Journey Into The Science Of Attachment . Bethany and host Sarah Buino explore the different roles that curiosity, delight, anxiety, shame, and acceptance play when looking at parent-child attachment, and...
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Unbecoming an Armadillo: Recovering from Trauma with EMDR
Unbecoming an Armadillo By: Victoria F. Burns, PhD, LSW Victoriafrances49@gmail.com Instagram: @betesandbites “When you are traumatized, you are basically in a permanent defensive mode” — Gabor Mate I’m sitting across from Meg on her charcoal grey love seat. My forearms are resting on a velvety mustard-yellow throw cushion and I’m holding crescent shaped pulsers in each hand. Meg’s my psychologist; a rare gem who specializes in chronic illness and trauma. Every two weeks, we spend an hour...
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Christine (Cissy) White Returns. Hear My Story (www.thetraumatherapistproject.com)
Yesterday, Guy McPherson of the Trauma-Therapist Podcast shared the interview we did a few months ago. It was just after my last round of chemo and though I was tired and pale and my wig kept slipping - and also - I was super excited to be on one of my favorite podcasts and engaged in conversation. Here's an excerpt and the link to the video and audio. I appreciate how often Guy McPherson shares the perspective of trauma survivors with his podcast audience. Here's the link to the Trauma...
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How I Became a Champion for Trauma-Informed Change
I began riding the “trauma-informed care” wave three years prior to realizing I was part of something bigger than my own vision to bust open the conversation on trauma. When my life as a writer, editor, and advocate for parenting survivors of childhood abuse collided with my professional life as a mental health care manager, I knew the universe was trying to tell me something. Having long ago succumbed to the realization that everything really does happen for a reason, I started to see my...
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"How to talk policy and influence people": a special series of Law and Justice with Cissy White
In this extended "How to talk policy and influence people" interview with Christine "Cissy" White, a writer (see healwritenow.com), mom, trauma survivor (including child sexual abuse) and staff member of Aces Connection, we discuss the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) science and the importance of attachment and a felt sense of safety for health and human flourishing. We explore some criticisms of the ACEs framework, the benefits and risks of ACEs screening and problems with the concept...
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Stop Child Abuse Now (SCAN) Pod cast 10-22-20
Stop Child Abuse Now (SCAN) Pod cast https://www.blogtalkradio.com/naasca/2020/10/22/stop-child-abuse-now-scan--2513 "Tonight's special guest is Michael Skinner , a returning NAASCA family member from New Hampshire. Michael is an award-winning advocate survivor. Michael's non-profit, ' The Surviving Spirit ', offers a monthly newsletter addressing the issues of trauma, abuse and mental health concerns, public speaking and his music. He notes that these cover a wide variety of issues."We want...
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Art and Trauma: Creativity As a Resiliency & Healing Factor
Art and Trauma: Creativity As a Resiliency & Healing Factor I have long believed that all of the creative arts are healing. I was drawn to music because it made me feel good, first just listening, then learning to play the drums and then performing in rock bands. Later in life, learning the guitar and singing along with songwriting. Sadly, trauma disconnects so many of us from our creative outlets...finding the ways to reconnect with our creative selves goes a long ways in healing the...
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Survivor Stories Online - Friday, December 11, 2020 8:00 PM – 10:00 PM
Survivor Stories Online - Friday, December 11, 2020 8:00 PM – 10:00 PM GET YOUR FREE TICKETS for this Zoom event at https://www.eventbrite.com/e/survivor-stories-online-tickets-129044969979 Survivors of sexual abuse and assault are invited to read a poem, tell a story, sing a song, share in any way they see fit. Survivors of sexual abuse and assault are invited to read a poem, tell a story, sing a song, share in any way they see fit. Speakers and performers include: Musician, Advocate,...
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Goodbye from Cissy & Introducing the New Community Manager, Natalie Audage
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community: I'm transitioning out of my role as Community Manager of Parenting with ACEs due to health reasons. However, this community is stronger than ever and will be managed by the kind, warm, and smart @Natalie Audage (PACEs Connection Staff) who I've had the pleasure of working with and now consider a friend. Please keep posting in this community about your experiences. Please share resources, calendar events, infographics, and flyers.
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Parenting with PACEs in a pandemic
Welcome to the COVID-19 and PACEs Science Collections for Parents! We have four topic-specific resource lists related to COVID-19 and PACEs Science. All four will be updated for as long as this pandemic lasts. They are as follows: ACEs in Education & COVID-19 COVID-19 Resources for Healthcare Providers Parenting with PACEs in a Pandemic Practicing Resilience During Social Distancing We hope these lists, and the resources, practices, and information in them, are helpful and easy to use.
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Cherie Conrad-Hersch
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Alfred Derro
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Lori Harlan
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Christopher Polack
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Amanda Coggin
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Simona Joshi
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Shelley Keeble
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Heather L Spencer
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