Tagged With "child sex abuse"
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Re: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
Yes, and sadly it may have taken generations and lots of child psychology/parenting education classes to overcome this phenomenon! My great-grandfather immigrated from Germany and 3 generations later, in spite of advancing his education in child psychology, my father was very very strict and punitive. Not to the point of physical beating, but words and body language can do much to break down a child's self-esteem and ego. By the time I majored in early childhood education at CSU Sacramento,...
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Re: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
Jackie: I totally agree with you. Old habits die hard, and the "spare the rod, spoil the child" mentality (even if it doesn't involve actual beating) is still alive and well. I frequently hear people say "I was spanked/hit/scolded/harshly punished/etc. and I turned out just fine." And so it goes... As you say, education and awareness is indeed the key. I cringe when I think of some of the things I said to my own children when they were young. At the time I thought it was all in the name of...
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Re: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
Jill, how do you respond to people who say, "I was spanked/hit/etc, and I turned out just fine"?
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Re: Some foster kids are turning to 'survival sex' to make ends meet (www.circa.com)
لخ Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone. From: ACEsConnection Sent: الخميس، ١٣ أكتوبر، ٢٠١٦ ١٧:٥٤ To: Fahad Mohammad Alqahtani Reply To: ACEsConnection Subject: Post By Christine Cissy White: Some foster kids are turning to 'survival sex' to ...
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Re: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
Jill: Thank you for this post. It can be easy to blame ourselves (as parents) or our own parents (as children) for some things that were/are cultural pressure. I know for myself, I struggled with the "cry it out" at night before bed routine and whether that promoted self-regulation or just makes a child feel ignored. There were various and popular views saying completely opposite things. There are parents seeking to do the absolute best and not always sure of what that means. Sometimes, the...
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Re: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
Re: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
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Re: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
Thanks, Jackie. That's a great way to respond. I'll use it!
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Re: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
To Jane and Jackie: I love Jackie’s great response to Jane’s question. I totally relate to the fear and hatred I felt when I was physically punished! Here are a few more thoughts: Usually I ask what lesson spanking imparts that couldn’t be achieved with compassionate communication. Invariably, those who sanction spanking respond that young children do not have the cognitive ability to understand verbal reasoning. Hence, a 2-year-old needs a smack to learn not to run out in front of a...
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Re: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
Cissy: I completely relate to what you say. Until he was about three years old, my oldest son was a screamer—vicious temper tantrums during the day and screaming all night long. I felt wholly inadequate as a parent as it seemed that friends’ babies were blithely floating through life. So at the urging of many friends and relatives, I tried letting him cry it out. But it was torturous for me and I couldn’t keep it up so we just sort of muddled our way through. Fortunately, I started reading...
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Re: Parenting’s Troubled History
Kristen: Thank you for posting this. It's so detailed and interested. I learned a lot. I just heard a discussion on NPR yesterday about how kids need empathy because of that Sesame Street segment teaching it. http://wfae.org/post/sesame-study-kindness One of the things they said is that many bullies have excellent manners and sometimes the emphasis on politeness is overdone because it doesn't necessarily equate with kindness. I thought that was interesting. I agree that the hate speech in...
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Multiple Factors Predict Higher Child Care Costs for Low-Income Hispanic Households [hispanicresearchcenter.org]
By Danielle A. Crosby, Julia Mendez, National Research Center on Hispanic Children & Families, May 28, 2020 Cost is a key factor shaping families’ decisions about whether and when to use different types of child care arrangements for children. Recent federal guidelines suggest that affordable child care should cost no more than 7 percent of a family’s income. Yet, national analyses indicate that the average market price of formal child care (e.g., centers and licensed or regulated family...
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I learned the impact of prolonged exposure to stress from my foster child [washingtonpost.com]
By Jenn O'Connor, The Washington Post, June 6, 2020 You know what stress is, right? You’re late for work, your car won’t start, gas costs more than you expected. We’ve all been there, and it’s not pleasant, that palm-sweating, heart-racing anxiety. Luckily, it’s not long-lasting — not toxic. What is toxic stress? It’s prolonged adversity and/or abuse — not having enough to eat or being exposed to violence. It’s the kind of stress that puts you on edge and keeps you there, day after day after...
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Connecting the Brain to the Rest of the Body: Early Childhood Development and Lifelong Health Are Deeply Intertwined [developingchild.harvard.edu]
By National Scientific Council on the Developing Child, Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University, June 10, 2020 We know that responsive relationships and language-rich experiences for young children help build a strong foundation for later success in school. The rapidly advancing frontiers of 21st-century biological sciences now provide compelling evidence that the foundations of lifelong health are also built early, with increasing evidence of the importance of the prenatal period...
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Column: How parents can help a child with post-traumatic stress disorder [milforddailynews.com]
By Lauren Barry, The Milford Daily News, June 27, 2020 When most people think of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) they likely picture an adult who has been in combat, a serious accident or experienced violence. Children can also have PTSD either from experiencing trauma directly or witnessing it. Childhood trauma can be from a specific event like a car accident or dog bite, but it can also include witnessing domestic violence or enduring neglect or abuse. Children diagnosed with PTSD...
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Loving An Orchid: Understanding Child Abuse Trauma's Impact [psychologytoday.com]
By JoAnn Stevelos, Psychology Today, August 21, 2020 As a child, I was an orchid but lived like a dandelion. I have always prided myself on my resiliency, for surviving a long and painful childhood filled with abandonment, psychological, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse . Child abuse can do that to you—give you a false sense of self and what resiliency really looks like. Resiliency is not just surviving. This false narrative of resiliency can take years to undo. One approach is to try...
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With less money and more risk, waves of child-care providers call it quits [latimes.com]
By Rikha Sharma Rani, Los Angeles Times, August 22, 2020 Kirsten Hove and her mom have been taking care of kids in San Francisco for decades. Hove’s mother opened a day-care program in her home in the city’s Marina neighborhood more than 30 years ago. In 2006, Hove and a family friend expanded the business by opening sites in their apartments nearby. The days were long, but the women loved the work. What took years to build, however, was dismantled by the coronavirus in just a few months. [...
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Day Care, Grandparent, Pod Or Nanny? How To Manage The Risks Of Pandemic Child Care [npr.org]
By Katherine Harmon Courage, National Public Radio, August 21, 2020 Pre-pandemic, about half of U.S. families reported having trouble finding care for a young child. That number jumped to nearly two-thirds this spring as day cares closed and other caretakers, such as grandparents and nannies, were told to stay home. And with many schools operating remotely, in a hybrid model or abruptly changing course this fall, many more parents, including those with kids in elementary school and beyond ,...
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Seven Steps to Calm an Explosive Child
Are you exhausted by the explosive behaviors of the children you love? First, I want to say I am so proud of you. I know the fatigue and frustration that comes with parenting a child who feels out of control. The fact that you are reading this article means you are looking for support and guidance, and that means you are on your way to helping the children in your life. And believe me, you are probably already doing a better job than you think! Kids need you to show up more than anything!
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Early Child Care & COVID-19: The Science of Transmission, Safe Practices, Stress and Resilience [ucsf.edu]
From University of California, San Francisco, September 9, 2020 Please join UCSF's Early Success Clinic Collaborative for a panel discussion on "Early Child Care & COVID-19: The Science of Transmission, Safe Practices, Stress and Resilience" on Thursday, September 10th from 6:30-8:30 P.M. This conversation will be focused on translating the science around COVID-19 in preschool and early childhood ages to help inform considerations to keep children, teachers, and caregivers healthy. The...
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"How to talk policy and influence people": a special series of Law and Justice with Cissy White
In this extended "How to talk policy and influence people" interview with Christine "Cissy" White, a writer (see healwritenow.com), mom, trauma survivor (including child sexual abuse) and staff member of Aces Connection, we discuss the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) science and the importance of attachment and a felt sense of safety for health and human flourishing. We explore some criticisms of the ACEs framework, the benefits and risks of ACEs screening and problems with the concept...
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Stop Child Abuse Now (SCAN) Pod cast 10-22-20
Stop Child Abuse Now (SCAN) Pod cast https://www.blogtalkradio.com/naasca/2020/10/22/stop-child-abuse-now-scan--2513 "Tonight's special guest is Michael Skinner , a returning NAASCA family member from New Hampshire. Michael is an award-winning advocate survivor. Michael's non-profit, ' The Surviving Spirit ', offers a monthly newsletter addressing the issues of trauma, abuse and mental health concerns, public speaking and his music. He notes that these cover a wide variety of issues."We want...
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WEBINAR: Creating Pathways for Community Leadership
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Award-Winning Musician and Advocate, Michael Skinner - Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse - YouTube
Award-Winning Musician and Advocate, Michael Skinner - Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse - YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEVZG4-81ZM Welcome to the Ms. Texas Show where we showcase life in Texas and highlight Amazing survivors of traumatic events, family violence, sex trafficking, sexual abuse and Community Leaders to share community resources. Today's guest is Michael Skinner, award-winning advocate, educator, writer and critically acclaimed singer, songwriter, guitarist, addressing...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter December 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter December 2020 Hi Folks, Hoping this finds you well and safe. Wow, coming to the end of a very challenging year...I do hope that 2021 brings forth healing and hope for all of us. Life can be hard, a pandemic...
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Caregiver Panel: Are We Ready for Re-Opening?
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Re-Opening Workshop: Helping Children Contextualize Change
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Becky DeCarlo
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It is not our job to protect children from pain, it's our job to guide them through it (upworthy.com)
My daughter and I were at the park last week — running, jumping, chasing ducks, and playing tag — when the unthinkable happened: when she was mocked and teased for the first time. The very first time. Of course, my initial reaction was full of hurt and sadness, anger and rage. I wanted to swoop in and hug my daughter. I wanted to swoop in and protect my daughter, and I wanted to go full on mama bear on the little twerp who thought it was okay to make fun of girls because she (and her...
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The Ultimate Parent Support - Nonviolent Communication
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Insights From Families: Caregivers Describe How Monthly CTC Payments Help Them Stay Afloat (cssp.org)
By Ellie Kaverman, Center for the Study of Social Policy (CSSP), December 9, 2021 “There’s nothing like waking up and worrying if today they’re going to turn a utility off or wondering how much time you have to come up with the money to prevent that from happening,” Patricia, a mother of four in Michigan told us. For her, economic security would mean “not having to beg and borrow if you don’t have it or try to come up with last resort tactics to make sure you have groceries.” The Center for...
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