Tagged With "Parents Develop Positive Relationships"
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Troubled moms and dads learn how to parent with ACEs
A father in county jail is ordered to take a parenting class, but isn’t too enthusiastic about it. As part of the class, he learns about the ACE Study, and does his own ACE score. “Oh my god!” he announces to the class. “I have 7 ACEs.” His mother’s an alcoholic. His dad’s been in and out of jail. He himself started dealing drugs at age 11, and doing drugs at 14. “I’ve got two kids at home experiencing the same things I did,” he says. The light bulb goes on. A few days after a woman who’s...
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Two-Generation Strategy Yields Promising Results: The LIFT-AppleTree Partnership Pilot Project [ascend.aspeninstitute.org]
By Kimberly Miyazawa, Ascend, The Aspen Institute, July 2019 Committed to helping families create an intergenerational cycle of opportunity, LIFT, a national nonprofit that connects parents with trained coaches who help them achieve career and financial goals, implements a two-generation (2Gen) strategy. Their partnership with AppleTree, a recognized leader in evidence-based early childhood education, demonstrates LIFT’s commitment to staying laser-focused on the needs of its members – the...
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Two Texts to Show One Difference Between a High and Low ACE Score
I was leaving the house on the way to do something brand new and scary a few weeks ago. My two close friends, Heidi and Kathy, both sent me a text. One has an ACE score of 10. One has a below 4 score. The text from Kathy reminded me that I am loved and safe. She sent me a sticky note with affirmations and attempted to calm my nerves by reminding me that humans are caring and curious and want to know what others have to say. The other text was from Heidi. It said, "Beast mode today." That was...
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Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor
The feeling of having a healthy supply of self-worth is something I can only imagine might have been more readily available, natural and automatic if I was able to see that in myself as a child. As an adult survivor of childhood abuse, self-worth was not supplied in healthy doses while growing up.
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Video Course Teaches Strategies for Reducing Conflict in Shared Custody
Splitting custody can be one of the hardest challenges any parent can face -- and a harsh and ongoing trigger for people parenting with ACEs. Our new video-based course, Positive Shared Custody helps parents stop the fighting and build a more cooperative and harmonious co-parenting relationship that benefits parents AND children. Created by a real divorced couple (that's me and my ex, Tim Fricker, who happens to be a family law attorney), the course includes 57 minutes of video content where...
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W.H.O. Says Limited or No Screen Time for Children Under 5 [nytimes.com]
In a new set of guidelines, the World Health Organization said that infants under 1 year old should not be exposed to electronic screens and that children between the ages of 2 and 4 should not have more than one hour of “sedentary screen time” each day. Limiting, and in some cases eliminating, screen time for children under the age of 5 will result in healthier adults, the organization, a United Nations health agency, announced on Wednesday . But taking away iPads and other electronic...
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Want to get certified in Echo's new trauma-informed nonviolent parenting curriculum?
Want to get certified in Echo's new trauma-informed nonviolent parenting curriculum? For the last 18 years, Echo has been providing sliding-scale parenting classes in Los Angeles. The 10-class series includes the latest science on the brain and childhood trauma and gives parents many tools for creating the kind of safe, stable nurturing relationship we all want with our children and underpins healthy development. Classes are available in English and Spanish. This fall, Echo will be offering...
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Watching My Daughter Develop the Same Anxiety I Struggle With [thecut.com]
"It is relatively early on a summer evening, just after sunset. From my bed, I notice a shadow of a spindly branch dancing across the corner of the bedroom wall. I get up and close the curtains tightly to make it disappear, careful not to step on my daughter, who’s camped on my bedroom floor, lying stiffly under the weighted anxiety blanket I’d made her. I don’t mind the shadow, but I know it will make it impossible for her to fall asleep. This is the fourth night in a row she’s spent here.
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We Have to Better Understand What Foster Parents Need [chronicleofsocialchange.org]
By Ross Hunter, The Chronicle of Social Change, October 11, 2019 As a new leader in the child welfare space, I thought it would be worth my while to do some listening before I made any big changes. So I went on a tour all over the state of Washington. I talked to caseworkers, foster parents, birth families, judges, prosecutors, defense attorneys and anyone else I could find who had an opinion. I got an earful. “Everything is broken.” “I had a great experience.” “The caseworker never called...
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Weathering the Storms: A Guide to Healthy Expressions of Emotions for Parents and Children from YCCA
Yolo County Children’s Alliance is excited to share Weathering the Storms: A Guide to Healthy Expressions of Emotions for Parents and Children. This resource for parents and caregivers, which we are launching during Child Abuse Prevention Month, discusses how to identify emotions, the importance of empathy, and how to prevent and weather emotional storms. The guide is available in English, Spanish, and Russian at www.yolokids.org/weathering-storms-guide-healthy-expressions-emotions . The...
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Webinar Slides and Recording: Building Resilient Communities with Elaine Miller-Karas
Recorded live August 8, 2019. Find the slides attached below. The 1 hour video recording can be found on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/BUyY0FMjv8s Speaker: Elaine Miller-Karas, MSW, LCSW, Executive Director and Co-founder, Trauma Resource Institute. Host: Carey Sipp, Southeast Community Facilitator, ACEs Connection. Webinar Description: This webinar will explore integrating a biological based model to reduce the impacts of toxic stress for children and adults. It is a model both for...
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WEBINAR: Surviving Family Trauma in Unusual Times - A Live Parent Interview
Dr. Scott Sells, the Founder of the Family Trauma Institute and an expert with families, interviews Sarah, a single parent mom, with four children. The COVID-19 pandemic has brought sudden change and stress to an already traumatized family. Sarah discusses the challenges and how the practical tools on knowing her children's love language combined with a clear written plan is a game-changer to help stabilize her family. If you are a parent or professional who wants concrete tools to help your...
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West Africa ACEs CONNECTION: Chasing solutions for own ACE Score
Even though I have excelled in practically all endeavors that I set out to do and have succeeded in new learning, I continued to have flash backs of certain events from my past and residual anger on certain things. I was first introduced to Trauma theory when I was working in an Outpatient clinic for Men in 2001. The Trauma Recovery Empowerment Model TREM was the philosophy practiced in conjunction with Boston model of psychiatric rehabilitation at the clinic. The concept of recovery made...
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What Exactly is a Toddler Tantrum?
Several years ago NPR had a story about temper tantrums, describing a study showing that the sounds children make during a tantrum indicate that they are primarily sad rather than angry. The written version of the story opens with description of tantrums as " the cause of profound helplessness among parents." I thought this was an interesting choice of words, as I have always thought of tantrums as representing a sense of helplessness in children. In fact, in my over 20 years of practicing...
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What is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)?
Most people have heard of post-traumatic stress disorder that afflicts many men and women returning from a war zone. It is characterized by flashbacks, unstable moods, and survivor’s remorse. However, many have never heard of a condition that often develops in childhood and changes the course of the child’s life forever, complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). For a good definition of CPTSD, we turned to Beauty After Bruises, an organization that offers outreach focused on adult...
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What's an ACE Score & How Can it Affect Your Child? [moms.com]
By Katie Lear, Moms, February 28, 2020 Parents, teachers, and other professionals, who work with kids are increasingly aware of the impact trauma has on children's health. When you think of trauma, you might imagine an extreme scenario, like war or violent crime that primarily impacts adults. In reality, there are many forms of trauma, that regularly affect children, and the effects of trauma in childhood can be lifelong. One groundbreaking study by the CDC, called the Adverse Childhood...
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What's Right with US!
Thoughts on the shift from, "What's wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?" Dear Monadnock Thrives & ACEs Connection: I have to admit, it has taken me some time to understand the value of shifting from, “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” As a person with high ACEs, I realize I have been absolutely conditioned by our culture to resist the victim label (I resist thinking about what happened to me) and to ‘own’ my response to whatever has happened to me (I must pursue...
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What’s Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness? [Minful Leader]
By David Treleaven A few months ago, a colleague who taught meditation in corporate settings asked for my advice. A woman in one of his programs had experienced sexual harassment in the workplace, and she was now experiencing symptoms of traumatic stress. When she’d meditate, images and sensations would flood her field of consciousness, leaving her more rattled than before. “Should I keep meditating?” she’d asked him. “I want to work with my stress, but practicing seems to be making things...
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What to Do When She Says #MeToo [psychologytoday.com]
Most parents want their children to confide in them about their problems. Unfortunately, if you have a daughter, there is a real possibility that one such problem may be that of sexual harassment or violence. A study from Harvard University found 87% of girls have experienced sexual harassment and the CDC reports nearly one in three women have experienced some form of sexual violence victimization. Being a victim of sexual violence or harassment is one of the biggest problems that a teenager...
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What to Do When You Lose Your Cool at Your Daughter (www.motheringanddaughtering.com)
The mother mentor in my life told me about this mother-daughter duo a few years ago. I checked out Sil and Eliza Roberts but their written words didn't resonate with me at the time. They seemed too wealthy or healthy or happy or capable. I just couldn't relate to them. I couldn't imagine mothers and daughters speaking this way, at all, never mind with one another.Plus, they weren't talking about trauma, loss or adversity or the struggles of people with addiction, disease or ACEs in the past...
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When a Mother Loves an Alcoholic - Parenting With ACEs
I was such a mother. I was also the daughter of an alcoholic. My mom died earlier this year. When a mother loves an alcoholic or is raised by an alcoholic, she is changed in profound ways - ways she has no idea are even present, yet ways that make her a confounding figure in her children's lives. At the root of these "ways" is her adverse childhood experiences. As I shared recently in my post, The Legacy of Untreated Secondhand Drinking ACEs , "[My] Mom and I talked about my realization that...
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
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Sherman Alexie’s incredible openness in two articles & audios (www.KUOW.org) & Commentary
"It all blends together. It's the way in which cruelty can be everyday ordinary to spectacular - but that it's a constant possibility. So that her unpredictable nature, her amazing beauty, and magic combined with her ability to be so mean." Sherman Alexie These articles , Facebook posts and audio clips and interviews with Sherman Alexie are so moving, beautiful and painful. It's like poetry, song, prayer or listening to birds in the trees. I may not get every message being shared but can...
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Show & Tell
Show don't tell is the first bit of advice almost every writer gets. Don't give facts if words can form an image. Don't say a song was fast-paced if words can tap quickly, instead, across the page. It's good advice but when it comes to ACEs we need both. We need to tell and show and tell again. There's resistance to telling. We need facts and data and proof. And we need stories. Both. Over and over and over. So the facts come with faces. So the data is as pressing as a poem. I can write...
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"Social Justice- Parents have the right to know the most powerful determinant of their children's future health, safety and productivity." [NEAR@Home Toolkit]
NEAR@Home Toolkit: A Guided Process to Talk about Trauma and Resilience in Home Visiting Home visiting professionals are uniquely positioned to talk with parents about what we are calling NEAR Science — Neuroscience, Epigenetics, Adverse...
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Sonoma Charter tackles social-emotional wellbeing
As you walk through the courtyard of the Sonoma (California) Charter School (SCS) sounds of stomping feet, clapping hands, and children’s voices singing “round and round” and “shake shake” pour from the performing arts space called the Playbox. Inside, 10 first-graders wearing silk tunics, holding brightly colored fabric pieces , wriggle on the floor like worms, jumping like kangaroos, then gently throw feathers from an imaginary bird in the air. You’ve stepped into the world of...
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Spokane, WA, public health nurses create trauma-sensitive toolkit for parents/caregivers
Public health nurses at Spokane Regional Health District (SRHD) developed a 178-page toolkit -- 1*2*3 Care -- for caregivers of children. They define caregivers as parents, g randparents, child care providers, teachers, and others who care...
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Star Neuroscientist Tom Insel Leaves the Google-Spawned Verily for … a Startup? (www.wired.com) & Commentary
I wonder if ACEs science is known, considered or used by a neuroscientist such as Insel? I read stories, like the one below as a parent and a trauma survivor and am as fascinated as I am troubled. My hope is that technology and health data tracking will be used to better treat people and to treat people better? Here are some excerpts from an interesting article in Wired which was written by Adam Rogers: Insel’s hopes for research have always been outsized. You might remember the...
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Strengthening Families: Increasing positive outcomes for children and families [www.cssp.org]
We engage families, programs, and communities in building key protective factors. Children are more likely to thrive when their families have the support they need. By focusing on the five universal family strengths identified in the Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework , community leaders and service providers can better engage, support, and partner with parents in order to achieve the best outcomes for kids. How We Do It The Strengthening Families framework is a...
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Strengths-Based Parenting Guides from Yolo County Children's Alliance
Yolo County Children’s Alliance (YCCA) parenting guides promote positive parenting skills and strengthen protective factors that have been identified to reduce the likelihood of child abuse and neglect. All three YCCA guides are available in English, Spanish, and Russian on our website: www.yolokids.org/forfamilies . Each guide also has a Conversation Starters for Providers , which can be found at https://www.yolokids.org/providers-guides . Below please find more information about each...
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Substance Use Disorder and Brain Development
The inputs a brain experiences during its developmental stages have a profound impact on whether that person will develop a substance use disorder (if they choose to drink or use other drugs). In turn, developing a substance use disorder (SUD) as a tween, teen, or young adult dramatically influences that person's brain development. And why is understanding this causality important? The risk factors for developing a substance use disorder are the result of inputs the brain experiences (or...
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Taming the Dragons: Helping Children Cope: Ages Birth to Twelve Years
Taming the Dragons is a training manual for parents, foster parents, and kinship caregivers. It was developed out of a crisis nursery in WA state by Sue Delucchi. English and Spanish versions attached here for free downloads.
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Tell Me About You
O.k., we're growing here and that's exciting. If you are willing to share, please do tell me a bit about you and what you are looking for/hoping for and wanting to add or get as it relates to parenting and ACEs. This part of my introduction, the questions, is sincere. I REALLY do want to learn more about you. What are your experiences, questions and needs? How has learning about ACEs impacted you? What are your struggles and your successes as a person or a parent with ACEs? What tools or...
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The Absence of Punishment in Our Schools
Where to begin... My heart is full of hope and joy as I watch the trauma-informed schools movement swell across our nation and planet. The science of ACEs is mind-bending to say the least and we are now able to open up a much deeper dialogue about human behavior and health. Ultimately this work is about healing… All. Of. Us. A new consciousness is taking root around ending the “us vs them” construct. The idea is growing that we’re all on this journey together and that no matter where our...
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Echo Parenting to incorporate ACEs into parenting classes
By Jessica LeTarte, Echo Parenting In an effort to bring the best information and tools to our participants, Echo will be introducing the Adverse Childhood Experiences ( ACEs ) survey and a corresponding resiliency survey into our parenting ...
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The Amazing Brain Series (www.instituteforsafefamilies.org)
Here's a link to several great downloads I'm adding to the Parenting with ACEs resource section. I've attached one of the five so you can get an idea of content and visuals. The downloads are all free and if you want colorful handouts those are available for purchase.
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The Angel and the Assassin by Donna Jackson Nakazawa (www.kirkusreviews.com)
Cissy's note: It's wonderful to see the press Donna Jackson Nakazawa's new book is getting. She's been a guest on the Parenting with ACEs chat series, and crucial in helping ACEsConnection to develop handouts for parents about what helps heal ACEs. Here is an excerpt from a review of her book, The Angel and the Assassin, which was recently published in the Kirkus Reviews. To read the full review, please go here .
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The Boy Born Out of Resilience
A few months ago I published a blog, " A Mother's Rage". I re-accounted my rage and helplessness regarding my daughter's high school rape in Miami, FL. I ended my post with words of hope. I wrote how several years had passed since my daughter's assault. She was now engaged and pregnant with my first grandchild. This is the rest of the story. I held my daughter's hand as she labored through the night with my grandson. I tried to comfort her fiancee who felt helpless. I rubbed her back,...
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The Brain Architects Podcast: Serve and Return: Supporting the Foundation [developingchild.harvard.edu]
From Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University, March 11, 2020 What is “serve and return”? What does it mean to have a “responsive relationship” with a child? How do responsive relationships support healthy brain development? And what can parents and caregivers do in their day-to-day lives to build these sorts of relationships? This episode of The Brain Architects podcast addresses all these questions and more! [ Please click here to listen to the podcast and for more resources .]
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The brain science behind Britain’s new parenting classes [WashingtonPost.com]
British Prime Minister David Cameron thinks parents need government-approved advice on raising kids. British parents aren't exactly thrilled with this recent proclamation. One of Cameron's new policy prescriptions, unveiled Monday with an announcement that England will pour £70 million over the next five years into “relationship support,” was state-backed parenting classes. Vouchers, he said, would help cover the enrollment of low-income families. Behind...
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The Building Blocks of HOPE – Block #1: Relationships
HOPE is a natural fit for ACES Connection. To further embrace the members of ACES Connection we have created a Balancing ACES with HOPE community and encourage all to visit and join. Please read our blogs and post your comments. Let us know how you think HOPE could impact your work and personal life. Being in nurturing, supportive relationships are critical for children to develop into healthy, resilient adults. This concept forms the first of the 4 Building Blocks of HOPE . What types of...
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Recently released research on ACEs; incarceration; separating families at the border
Behavioral risk factor surveillance system state survey on exposure to adverse childhood experiences (ACEs): Who declines to respond? [Children and Youth Services Review] "A wealth of research has examined the prevalence and impact of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) via various research methodologies. Some of these studies have also examined the presence of nonresponse bias, showing minimal nonresponse bias effects. More recently, many states and the District of Columbia have used the...
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Recognizing and Attending to Intergenerational Trauma
A mother brings her 8-year-old son to the pediatrician after his teacher repeatedly asks her to have him evaluated for ADHD. The trauma-informed pediatrician knows that childhood trauma exposure can resemble hyperactivity associated with ADHD. The pediatrician asks the mother to privately complete an adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) questionnaire and asks to do one with the son as well. The questionnaire reveals that the son had witnessed his mom being physically abused by her last two...
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Registration Open - 2019 Families and Fathers Conference Early Rate and Hotel Discount Closing Please Share
In forty-eight days, we open our 20th convening of a powerful conference focused on strengthening families, improving outcomes for children, and strategies to engage families. The 20th Annual Families and Fathers Conference hosted by Fathers and Families Coalition of America Sponsorships allow the extended early rate for an exceptional experience in Los Angeles, California from March 4th (pre-conference institute credential) through the main conference dates of March 5th - 7th. Please share...
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Reimbursement for Parenting Education and Support Services
Unfortunately, regardless of training received and degrees earned, parenting educators can't serve families and get reimbursed by public and private insurers for their services. In an effort to bring light to this issue, I wrote the attached paper with two colleagues at NC State. Our (unpublished) paper outlines research supporting parenting education services and their efficacy to improve individual and family health and long term wellbeing and community prosperity. We highlight the fact...