By Danna Lorch, The New York Times, February 10, 2021
Before even becoming a parent, I was conditioned to believe that good mothers always put themselves dead last. At a college reunion years ago, I complimented a former classmate, a mother of three, on how strong she looked. She shrugged it off: “Oh, that’s because I never take time to make myself food. I just eat scraps off the kids’ plates.”
Years later, when I was pregnant with my son, Isaac, friends who were already moms eyed my bump and advised me to take as many showers as possible before the birth because I wouldn’t have time later. “Welcome to the club,” they said. It felt like hazing.
The message to mothers was clear: The second your child is born, if you take time to even rinse baby goo off your own body, you are overlooking your child and you are selfish. My husband, on the other hand, a super-involved father, hits the shower each morning like clockwork — and even exfoliates. Strangely, no one prepped him to go unwashed and underfed after becoming a parent.
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