Note: I usually despise parenting advice and how-to-anything for parents. Often, it's "tap the brakes" advice as though all parents have double digit stress they need to dial back a bit to be more effective. As though tapping the brakes when going 25 m.p.h. is anything like tapping the brakes when going 100 m.p.h. When it's not. Many parents have stress that started at 100 m.p.h. in childhood and arrived to parenting having gone through life at high speeds, and not by choice. So, parenting advice that doesn't get that usually misses the mark and is actually insulting (unhelpful). This article acknowledges that we aren't all parenting with the same past experiences or past or current support. That's refreshing. Plus, the author uses "us" not "them" language and that too makes all the difference.
Our bodies and brains are wired to react to high stress situations as a safety net. If our brain perceives a threat, it signals the amygdala, body's alarmΒ system, which tells our body to act without thinking. The amygdala responds to situations with the fight, flight, freeze response. This is to protect us, but our stress receptors cannot distinguish between real dangers or false dangers. In everyday parenting, our stress response often gets triggered unnecessarily by events that are not actually life threatening. Our bodies are reacting to our kid spilling cereal all over the floor in the same way we would react if we were being chased by a bear.
Depending on your childhood experiences and memories, your stress response may be triggered more easily than another person. When our stress receptions are triggered, we have difficulty thinking clearly and being attentive to people around us. We are unable to be thoughtful in our responses, and have trouble staying focused, and our ability to solve problems is diminished. Read more.
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