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How to Make Kids Feel at Home in Both Homes After a Divorce [nytimes.com]

 

By Hanna Ingber, Photo by Sean Rayford, The New York Times, April 1, 2022

When parents go their separate ways in a divorce, children are torn between two places — both should feel like home.

The day my ex and I had to tell our children that we were getting divorced, we sat on the couch in the living room as they played on the rug below us. It was a pivotal moment, and our almost 5-year-old, Isaac, sensing that something big and disruptive was happening, had one very important question: What would happen to his Legos?

One of the most difficult aspects of divorce with children can be saying goodbye to the marital home as it once was and creating a new setup for the kids, whether for a joint custody arrangement or short visits. This is challenging in terms of logistics, but creating a new space can also carry all of the emotional weight of the divorce. The decision to tear up what was supposed to be intact gets played out in fights over furniture and favorite toys.

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