Skip to main content

Parenting with PACEs. PACEs science & stories. Trauma-informed change.

Beware of Lowering Expectations for Foster Youth (www.chronicleofsocialchange.org)

If someone lives through trauma I see that as a success. Not everyone does. But what makes people feel supported, encouraged or able to grow varies enormously. I loved reading about this woman's perspective based on her own experiences. I especially like the way she talks about how painful pity can be and some of my most healing relationships were with people who had compassion for what I'd lived through but who were completely certain that I had as much potential as anyone or saw living through trauma as a sign of strength and not an indicator that I'd always be damaged. It's not something easy, though, to get from others, to give to others and even to extend to ourselves. What are your thoughts? 

Excerpt:

Every successful survivor of childhood abuse can point to at least one person who saw potential in her before she saw it in herself — one person who refused to lower their expectations. I’ve interviewed countless successful survivors of trauma, and learned that there are common threads that run through our lives, not the least of which is this truth that one single conversation can plant the seeds that result in our personal and professional success, significance and self actualization.

People who were traumatized when they were too vulnerable to prevent it have the potential to be some of the strongest, most resilient and most resourceful people in the world. When we mine the lessons out of our painful experiences, rather than wallowing in the victimization we have experienced, we are capable of success, not just despite what we’ve been through, but specifically because of it.

What I mean is that the abandonment of my parents taught me self-reliance. Poverty taught me how to manage money and to be resourceful. Being mistreated developed in me an empathy and a burning desire for justice. All my childhood experiences are the foundation for my personal and professional success . Read more.

Add Comment

Comments (0)

Copyright © 2023, PACEsConnection. All rights reserved.
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×