Tagged With "growth mindset"
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The Healing Place Podcast: Barbara Rubel, MA, BCETS, D.A.A.E.T.S. - How to Help Suicide Loss Survivors & the Traumatic Impact of Suicide
Barbara Rubel is a suicide loss survivor and leading thanatologist. Thanatology is the scientific study of death. As a thanatologist, Barbara Rubel specializes in suicide loss survivor grief and educating professionals about traumatic loss. The third updated and revised edition of her book, But I Didn’t Say Goodbye: Helping families after a suicide, just launched on Amazon.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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To Heal From Trauma, You Have to Feel Your Feelings [psychologytoday.com]
At any age, in any life stage, you can change. Whether you’re 77 years old or 17, you can learn, grow, adopt new habits, and make new choices to create a life you truly love. It may not always feel that way, though. When childhood emotional wounds tether you to the past, it can feel like you’re being swept away by a fast-moving current; although there are branches on either side of the riverbank to grab onto, something is mentally blocking you from reaching out. That “something” is a tether...
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Why Slowing Down & Reflecting On Our Lives And Values Is So Vital Right Now (YourTango.com)
The unbridled spread of COVID-19 has caused all but essential service providers to drop what we were doing and settle in at home. This forced slowdown is very uncomfortable for most. But, this forced slowdown may not necessarily be a bad thing. With many of us at home, now's a good time to let our lives catch up to us and envision a new future.
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Brain can be trained in compassion, study shows (University of Wisconsin-Madison)
A new study by researchers at the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds at the Waisman Center of the University of Wisconsin–Madison shows that adults can be trained to be more compassionate. The report, recently published online in the journal Psychological Science , is the first to investigate whether training adults in compassion can result in greater altruistic behavior and related changes in neural systems underlying compassion. “Our fundamental question was, ‘Can compassion be trained...
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Coping Strategy: Smile
As we discussed the Seven Mindsets, I was reminded how I had made a concerted effort to change my thinking patterns and create new habits filled with positivity instead of focusing on the struggles when I first started out on my healing journey.
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Fuzzy Slippers: How Do Self-Care as a Trauma Survivor
When I recommend the need for self-care to trauma survivors, they say it can feel like a chore. Some of them even roll their eyes and tell me, “You mean you want me to take care of myself? Ugh. Who has time for that?!” It’s tempting for any person to undervalue self-care. But for trauma survivors, resistance to self-care has much deeper roots. Healing takes a focused, gentle approach. Self-Care as a Practice of Welcoming Your Needs Many trauma survivors learned to do without self-care...
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2019 Beyond Paper Tigers Conference Series - Why Take Course One and Course Two?
Community Resilience Initiative is officially launching a new series of blog posts, building to our 2019 Beyond Paper Tigers conference on June 25th - 27th. We’ll cover a range of topics relevant to conference material, events, and inspirations. In addition to the regular conference, CRI is offering two training add-on options on Tuesday June 25, 2019 prior to the conference: Resilience-Based Trainings, Course One and Two . https://criresilient.org/beyon...re-conference-event/ “A group of...
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3 Steps Toward Managing And Healing Anxiety
I've struggled with anxiety throughout my life. A difficult childhood and my highly sensitive personality meant I grew into an anxious kid—there was just too much pain and emotional overwhelm for my young brain to handle. My anxiety most often manifested as perfectionism and people pleasing, so from the outside everything seemed great. I excelled in school and I was a good kid who did as she was told. But there was a war inside me. I felt broken, unable to navigate these huge feelings of...
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Self-care suggestion for Men during the COVID isolation
On The Healing Place Podcast this morning I had the chance to chat with hostess Teri Kamphaus Wellbrock raising awarenesss for guys about their mental health and encouraging men to take this time of isolation to learn more about themselves.
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Social Media May Foster Post-Traumatic Growth in Disasters [psychologytoday.com]
By Grant H. Brenner, Psychology Today, May 9, 2020 The COVID-19 pandemic is a prolonged, global disaster of epic proportions, unlike anything most people have experienced in their lifetimes. Tolerating Ambiguity and Isolation Unlike many disasters, which have a predictable course (see Phases of Disaster, below), pandemics don't fit a clear mold, with no clear end date, high levels of uncertainty about whether there will be ongoing waves of reinfection, unclear paths toward normality, limited...
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Re: Self-care suggestion for Men during the COVID isolation
Thanks for the shout-out, Jason! And for another hope-infused conversation. You shared such an important message of #PandemicSelfCare for men.
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Re: 3 Steps Toward Managing And Healing Anxiety
Joanna, clearly you "get" what it's like to deal with anxiety, especially that which is rooted in early trauma. Your description of how your anxiety manifests itself sure rings a bell with me, and I'm guessing it does so with many others with difficult childhoods. Thanks for sharing your experience-based suggestions for how to manage and overcome anxiety.
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Reminder: Practicing Resilience in Community recordings available
The past week has been painful, overwhelming, and many other emotions, as the Twin Cities, Minnesota, National, and global communities grapple with the murder of George Floyd, ongoing police brutality, the protests, the uprising, and the institutional, systemic, and interpersonal racism that has been an ongoing trauma for many of our communities. Many of us are working to navigate the balance between engagement, the need for rest and renewal, and care for the community in these moments.
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Post-Traumatic Growth: Hope Is a Strategy, Not a Feeling [Juvenile Justice Information Exchange]
When a young person experiences trauma, there is no single answer regarding how that experience may impact them in their later years. Two 12-year-olds experiencing the exact same kind of trauma, for example, may have two very different responses — one crumbles and the other rises. One processes it deeply and the other suppresses it. One becomes a powerful force for change in the community and the other struggles to make their place in the world. Furthermore, what may be considered traumatic...
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Creating meaning in our choices as CPTSD survivors
There is a place that we get trapped in the choices that we make. I want to think that conflict happens when there is a collision of values between the person you were and the person you are becoming. In the moments of change in the healing process, we reach plateaus, not as in the end but as in a time to create a shift. When this happens, we are faced with making a choice: do we act according to the person we were or the person we have become and are moving in towards. We hit a wall in...
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Getting Back Up on That Horse: The Struggle for Resilience in 2020
It’s little contested 2020 has been a sh*# show for most every American. It has personally knocked me down countless times. There are so many aspects of this pandemic and 2020 that have challenged my resilience as an individual, a mother, a small-business owner, and a female leader in my field. Despite what people assume, resilience-lacking 2020 hasn’t been a personal failing. Resilience is not a choice. Resilience is not an attitude or a mindset. Resilience is a physiological phenomenon. I...
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8 Ways to Combat “Working From Home Fatigue” and Boost Your Energy (thriveglobal.com)
When many of us began working remotely at the start of the pandemic , there seemed to be some advantages to working from home : no lengthy and costly commutes, more family time, greater flexibility, and more time to exercise. Since then, though, we’ve discovered there are downsides. The truth is, working from home can lead to overwhelm , exhaustion, and even burnout . That’s partly the result of blurred lines between our work and personal lives. “‘Working From Home Fatigue’ isn’t all in your...
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Are You Ready For This To Happen in 2021?
If you are tired of hearing how bad 2020 was, I completely understand. I think it's ok if we start thinking about how good 2021 can be. I began the new year by doing something I haven't done in a long time - visiting a drive-thru safari! Ok, so maybe the "safari" in small town Mississippi isn't the same as a safari in Africa or even a big city would be, but it was still lots of fun and we saw lots of cool animals. Many of them came up to the car and ate from our hands. I can assure you that...
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Your Healing Narrative: Write-to-Heal With Neural Re-Narrating
Happy 2021! 2020 was a year unlike any other. But it also brought home for many of us what matters most, including the importance of nurturing and harnessing the power of our nervous system and brain toward equanimity so that we can flourish even in the face of adversity. Your Healing Narrative: Write-to-Heal With Neural Re-Narrating i s my 2021 offering for individuals, parents, teachers, social workers, therapists, and health care professionals, to help ease a little bit of the anxiety,...
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Join us for Choose Love Awareness Month for Hope, Healing, and Connection
As we are all living under the mandate of social distancing we find almost everyone struggling with the ethos of our current stressful environment. As human beings, we were created to connect with one another. Our brains have mirror neurons that help us socialize and communicate by reading the expressions of others. The famous evolutionist Charles Darwin concluded that it would be those who were most ‘sympathetic’ to each other, in other words generous, altruistic, and compassionate, that...
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A Season to Focus on Growth
By March, I sometimes feel as if I am marching through winter. It has been cold long enough that the novelty of snow boots and mittens has worn off. Sledding, skiing, and skating have been fun but navigating the ice from the house to the barn for my daily farm chores gets wearing. March marks one long year of quarantining and social distancing, and it’s still an altered way of life we are required to continue. I noticed, however, that the purple and yellow crocuses have already bloomed in my...
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What is Possible?
What is Possible? By Scarlett Lewis I love reading stories about victory! It seems we all have had something in our lives to overcome, to some degree, and learning and growing from the struggle can benefit others. Courage and perseverance are two of the most powerful ways that can be taught to get through and grow from difficulties, and sometimes the best way is by example. However, one thing is for certain -- we need each other. It has been fascinating to me to witness how we rise to the...
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Why Sharing Good News Matters [sloanreview.mit.edu]
By Paola Cecchi-Dimeglio, MIT Sloan Management Review, June 17, 2020 Research shows us that even in normal times, constant exposure to negative news can have a heavy impact on our mental health . In the midst of an unprecedented health and humanitarian crisis like the COVID-19 pandemic, people are not only faced with new challenges in their work and personal lives but also subjected to a constant barrage of troubling headlines. Among other things, negative news increases the level of...
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How Do You Want to Live Your Life
I had a good life prior to December 14, 2012, the day of the Sandy Hook tragedy that took my six-year-old son Jesse's life. I was a single mom with a full-time job, a first and seventh grader, living on a horse farm with a wonderful mother/grandmother living nearby to help, and a supportive extended family. Always on the go, I woke up early, went to bed late, and would list the day’s accomplishments in my head each night. When I woke in the morning I would thank God for another opportunity...
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Educators Thrive in the Classroom
It’s back-to-school time and I am so happy to see all the teachers and students back in their classrooms doing what they do best: teaching, learning, and choosing love! September kicked off the start of the school year and thankfully I’ve been able to travel, in person, to visit schools in seven states around the U.S. who are using the Choose Love For Schools program, and to also virtually check in with many more. It made my heart happy to see all those classrooms bustling with activity.
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Well-being Isn’t Just Another Item On Our To-do List (thriveglobal.com)
Well-being is having a moment. What was once considered a soft-news lifestyle topic has, thanks to our collective experience of the pandemic, moved to the center of the conversation about work and life. And as a Chief Well-Being Officer, I’m certainly glad to see this shift (even if I obviously would have preferred a different catalyst). Still, when I’m asked questions about well-being, as I often am, I’ve noticed a troubling trend. Very often, well-being becomes just another stress-inducing...
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Resilience & Growth after Trauma
There is something very powerful about being able to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, stress or pain. Resilience has been defined and used to describe a person who bounces back from intense difficult circumstances. More often than not, with resilience comes deep personal growth that prepares a person for what’s ahead. Resilience drives us to stand strong; it is a process of adapting & moving forward. Trauma can be debilitating. It is life altering. But there is another truth...
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Growth through trauma
There is growth through trauma. Hard as it is, there IS growth through trauma. Very often, we do not see it at the time. It is not until we reflect on what happened and find possible reasons why we faced a flashback or responded so badly to a trigger. I have been forcing myself to attend the Royal Commission Inquiry into Abuse in Care hearings because I wanted to discover WHY professionals working in our State institutions would cause harm to children and youth. I wanted to discover WHY they...
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Moving Forward After Adverse Childhood Experiences: How to Move from Suffering to Flourishing
Once the suffering resulting from adverse childhood experiences is managed, we can turn toward creating a more satisfying life.
Pursuing the honorable life leads to self-respect and inner peace. Compassion for mistakes, understanding their reasons, and applying integrity skills starts us on the path to flourishing.
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9 Ways to Embody Trauma-Informed Values
Throughout our last several blogs, we’ve explored the broader themes of how to accomplish trauma-informed cultural change. We’ve also discussed how embodying trauma-informed values is essential to accomplishing that change. But what does embodying trauma-informed values look like in real time? How are we practicing the values in our personal and professional lives? How do the concepts we discuss become embedded and embodied in our work? Today, we’ll give you concrete examples of how to...
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Moving Forward After Adverse Childhood Experiences, Part 2: Harness the Liberating Power of Forgiveness
The well-timed choice to forgive deep injuries from childhood, though difficult, can greatly improve psychological wellbeing and free us to move ahead. Four keys to forgiveness lay the foundation for cultivating healing forgiveness skills.
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Addressing Past Trauma Is The Most Important Aspect Of Self-Care [essence.com]
By Victoria Uwumarogie, Illustration: Klaus Vedfelt/Digitalvision, Essence, September 30, 2022 Never underestimate the impact of unaddressed trauma. If you’ve been in unhealthy, even violent relationships in the past, it can negatively impact your ability to be able to see the good in a romantic interest in the present. It can even send you into the arms of the same type of toxic partners. Financial trauma experienced growing up can lead to an intense scarcity mindset in the present and...
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Lightening the Load We Carry from Childhood: 10 Ways to Forgive the Unkindest Cuts
While the process of forgiving painful offenses from childhood can be very difficult, efforts to forgive bring great rewards. The process begins with acknowledging the pain, applying self-compassion, and taking even small and faltering steps to get the forgiveness ball rolling.
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Re: Lightening the Load We Carry from Childhood: 10 Ways to Forgive the Unkindest Cuts
Dear Dr. Schiraldi, "Take the offender to neutral . . . I won’t waste my time thinking about you or remembering.” This has been the single most helpful definition of forgiveness for me. In my belief system, a contrite and repentant offender is a necessary part of the forgiveness process - things my offender never was. The best I can do under those circumstances is to bear him no ill will and leave it at that. "Don’t personalize . The offense is more about the pain and imperfect past of the...
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7 Tips to Reach Someone During a Trauma Response
Last week, we discussed how to recognize trauma states at work. The classic fight, flight, freeze, and appease trauma responses can reveal themselves in subtle ways, and other lesser-known trauma states can plague professional environments. Now that we know how to spot when someone is stuck in survival mode at work, it’s time to talk about how to help someone get out of that mindset. Today, we’ll explore the answer to the question: how can we respond to someone when they’re stuck in trauma...
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Adverse Childhood Experiences and Care for the Soul
Strengthening the wounded soul can improve psychological and physical wellbeing and help to complete the recovery process. Although ACEs, understandably, can numb feelings, including spiritual feelings, once healing has progressed, spiritual feelings can often be successfully cultivated.
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Finding Joy After Adverse Childhood Experiences
Adverse childhood experiences understandably can numb feelings, including feelings of joy, happiness, and pleasure.
Making time to be joyful rewires the wounded brain. Once healing has progressed, the capacity for joy can usually be expanded through the repeated application of proven joy strategies.
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Relationship Commitments Guide for Self-Reflection, Development, and Practice
I'm excited to share a project I recently completed! You can visit https://www.risetoresilience.org/resources to access the guide, Relationship Commitments template with example, and a supporting tool to explore your past, present, and desired future beliefs. Categories on the template include topics such as dealbreakers, core values, relationship values, love languages (giving and receiving), priorities, personal agreements, and more. Who is this for? Anyone, really! Whether you practice...
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Bouncing Forward After Adverse Childhood Experiences
Once the healing of hidden wounds from adverse childhood experiences has sufficiently progressed, attention can turn to developing a richly satisfying future. Your innate inner strengths, experiences, and acquired skills will help rewire your brain for a brighter future.
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The Trauma Triangle: How Fostering Awareness of Reenactments Builds Resilience
The basic concept surrounding trauma-informed care is this: We all have trauma. Some of us are at a higher risk of experiencing trauma. We carry this trauma with us, and if we do not address it, we will not heal from it. Understanding reenactments is one way that we can continue healing from trauma. Our healing helps us make sure that we don’t traumatize or re-traumatize others due to our own inability to emotionally regulate. In the context of trauma healing, there are three main things we...
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Drug Addiction and ACEs: A Journey Through the Gates of Hell to Redemption
Attachment disruptions and other hidden wounds from ACEs can render one more vulnerable to drug addiction. Genuine, mature love from others, and for oneself, can change the course of one's life. A recent book highlights the path from childhood trauma to addiction to recovery.
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The 2023 Creating Resilient Communities Summer Curriculum is Now Open for Registration
PACEs Connection is excited to roll out our summer 2023 *CRC* curriculum dates. Members who complete the CRC will qualify for a fall 2023 fellowship program.
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Rising from the Ashes of Childhood Brutality
Country music artist Allen Karl (Sterner) endured unspeakable childhood cruelty and chaos, yet turned into a caring, competent adult. His story provides many useful insights that can help and inspire others who have endured multiple ACEs.
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Key Healing Attitudes for Adverse Childhood Experiences
For moving past hidden wounds from childhood, mindset matters. These important attitudes undergird the process of healing from adverse childhood experiences.
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Gifting Yourself Peace after Childhood Adversity: After Painful Memories Are Confronted, Healing Continues
Wounds of the heart may persist after troubling memories from childhood adversity have been rewired. Fortunately, pain from childhood adversities can spur us to create a peaceful heart of forgiving, kindness, calm, and purpose.