WOW!!! I am amazed at your excellent impulse control.... I could not have been so still listening.... I would have had to leave and would have been ill with a migraine for a day or I may have confronted less graciously .... But I love how you artfully had their engagement and then informed them they had met their first former foster child.... You are a hero!!!
I totally understand the experience of stigma but I guess there is a blank spot in my intellect as to why??? I have never hid that experience with the system but have also paid the stigma price...
My sister has a masters in speech therapy and works for early intervention. She is now a foster parent and was in foster care as I was an emancipated minor... I would have been in foster care too but in therapy.... I literally could not speak to the therapist ... In fact at that time I truly couldn't speak out loud and if forced would cry or laugh inappropriately.. It was assumed I was uncooperative so I was made an emancipated minor when in fact I was terribly traumatized....
Anyway, years later I am a doctor my sister has a masters degree... She has a daughter who's best friend's father is a school social worker. She is more cautious than I with our personal history and asks me for my advice. "Should I tell Camryn's best friend's father I was in foster care?" Me with my utopian world beliefs says "well yes of course, he is a social worker. He must deal with foster children all the time nothing to worry about and something so important to you won't be buried deal inside you.. Of course.. No worries". So Renee tells this man of her foster care placement. I am so hurt by this... The man would no longer let his daughter and my niece play together again??? I simply do not understand but
I still remember the day the cps workers came into our broken down trailer.. They asked me " what did you do to make your parents so mad?"
All I could think is walk away... These folks like every adult on the planet are stupid...
I took my act testing after sleeping under a tree because my parents threw me out ... I couch serfed for a year before it all broke apart while my parents still collected from the gov. And weren't feeding me... I was going to be valedictorian of the same HS my dad flunked out of, I had never kissed let alone touched a boy, I had never been in trouble for anything, I never smoked a cigarette in fact couldn't stand them reminded me of Leo, and I had never drank or used any drug of any kind... I was dumbfounded as to why they would ask me such an absurd ?. I still am dumbfounded...
I asked the family who took my sis in for foster care if they would they were Christians and I thought she would be safe there but she looked like Cindy Crawford at the time and during her time spent there wanting to be loved, she tallied up another ace. I was mortified to learn of this and have felt guilt and horror ever since. They also told me when I'd call not to call because she had a new family now and didn't need me... It was the first time I attempted.....
Anyway I get what you are saying.... I truely do... And for those out there who are social workers please don't be mad at me... I am not down on anyone .. I am just relaying my experience...
I am older now but I still see that time through the same child eyes...