Tagged With "men too"
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1000 TELLINGS!
I just had to cradle a bundle of books when my publisher showed me the first 1000 copies that arrived from the printer. A thousand copies! At this very moment the most important thing is they exist. Not if or when they’ll be purchased. Not who will get a copy or what they’ll think of it as they read it. What’s happening is I am telling. A thousand times over, I am telling. A lot of people already know that after every rape my father said, “You tell anyone and I’ll kill you.” And I’ve worked...
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A Survivor on Speaking Out Against Shame, Silence, and Sexual Assault (yesmagazine.org)
If you’re a survivor yourself and reading this, you know that when I write “I had finished being shocked and upset long ago,” I don’t mean it’s done and dusted and put away and now I’m finished with the rape. I remember a male friend to whom I talked less than a year after it happened. “Do you think I’m thinking about it for too long?” I wanted to know. “I still feel scared and upset; do you think I’m making too big a deal out of it?” “Yes,” he said, “you are. You should be over it by now.”...
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ACEs Validated My Teaching Experience
When I first heard about the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study , it felt like a light bulb had actually gone on. Finally, FINALLY, someone was validating what I saw every single day teaching in East Oakland. For eight years, I taught at an elementary school in the most violent part of Oakland , the part that the police called the “Killing Zone.” The kids in my class had seen friends, neighbors, and family members shot or stabbed, and routinely hid in bathrooms and closets when gang fights...
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An Indestructible Book that Can Be Wiped Down -- for younger kids
So we are all worried about the virus and germs and transmission. Families confined to their homes are struggling. I have a bilingual children's book (ages 2 -- 4) that is on indestructible paper that can be wiped down -- cleaned off with a wipe. Seriously, this is a book for our transmission worried times. And, it deals with object constancy --- something critical in our crazy world. It is fun and clever and has multiracial characters. Older kids can find use for the book if they are trying...
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Books by Category
The following books have been recommended by ACEs Connection members. Categories (see below) Brain and Neurology Child Abuse Child and Human Development Children’s Books Depression Domestic Violence Foster Care Grief Law Enforcement and...
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Broken Places after Screening Summary & Resources
Almost 2,500 ACEs Connection members signed up to watch the Broken Places documentary online on March 21st, which was made available for Vimeo streaming all day. We are grateful to KPJR Films for sharing this documentary and helping make this event happen (special thanks for the hard work of @lynn waymer, Keely Badger, @Gail Kennedy, and @Carey Sipp. Following the event, we had a one hour chat with featured guests and many of you have asked...
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Communities Creating Health
Communities Creating Health: What would happen if the design, implementation, and evaluation of health interventions became something we do with communities rather than to them? People want to lead satisfying lives, and that includes feeling well. Health as defined by medicine is only part of feeling well, and yet the overwhelming majority of our society’s health investments go to the health care sector for clinical services or public health interventions. While these services are important,...
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Dr. Claudia Gold: Empathy & Listening as ACE-Informed Practice
"You are absolutely not doomed from having ACEs."
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Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance, by Tian Dayton, Ph.D.
I was checking out some new reading material on Amazon when I stumbled on a book review of Emotional Sobriety , in which the reviewer included author Tian Dayton's definition of codependency: "Codependency, I feel, is fear-based and is a predictable set of qualities and behaviors that grow out of feeling anxious and therefore hypervigilant in our intimate relationships. It is also reflective of an incomplete process of individuation....Though codependency seems to be about caretaking or...
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Eyes Are Never Quiet
From our recent book: Eyes are Never Discipline is not something we do to children. It is something we help them to build from within. Far too often school district discipline policies and procedures equate discipline with forms of punishment. For many schools, the code of conduct is made of long lists of possible behavioral infractions and the associated consequences (i.e., punishments). To properly engage with this debate, an overview of terminology is needed. “Discipline,” on the one...
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Healing the Wound That Won't Heal: the Reality of Trauma
“Healing the Wound That Won’t Heal: the Reality of Trauma.” In this book I share my in-depth work to understand the psychology and neurobiology regarding trauma and neglect in the first two years of life. My father was suffering extreme shell-shock due to his WWII mission to bomb the oil refineries at Ploesti, Romania. He was too ill to care for himself: yet, I was left with him everyday as my mother worked as a waitress. When I was thirteen-months-old, he died on the floor in front of my...
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Hope Rising: How the Science of HOPE Can Change Your Life to be published Nov. 27, 2018
What if we all lived in a culture of hope? What if we all worked in a culture of hope? What if everyone dealing with childhood trauma, challenges and difficulties found a place where hope was so high that it invaded their lives as they soon as they arrived? What if our families had a culture of hope? What if every marriage had high hope?
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How (My Story of) Trauma/ACEs Unexpectedly Snuck Its Way Into My Memoir
Long before I heard of ACEs or the phrase “childhood adversity,” I started to write a book; my first. Now, hot off the press, my memoir isn’t the book I set out to write. But who am I kidding? It’s exactly the book that had to be written. It finally gnawed at me, dared me, to excavate for truth. My book was supposed to be about walking the Camino de Santiago Compostela in 2013. After I’d hiked nearly 1000 kms of trails across Spain, I told my family and friends that I would write a book...
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“If you think the system works, you’re dead wrong:” a discussion on mental health in California (calmatters.org)
A physician, an advocate, a public health specialist, a suicide-attempt survivor and a California state lawmaker gathered in downtown Sacramento today to offer their diagnosis of the state’s mental health system. The consensus was summed up by Sen. Jim Beall: “We need to start from scratch.” The panel discussion, hosted by CALmatters and the California Health Care Foundation, builds off an ongoing CALmatters reporting project by Jocelyn Wiener and Byrhonda Lyons on the state’s fragmented,...
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Interview with Hilary Jacobs Hendel
I first came across Hilary Jacobs Hendel’s work when I read a New York Times article in which Hendel, a practicing psychotherapist and writer, described the “Change Triangle,” an upside down triangle that explains how emotions work. The Change Triangle is also a roadmap that teaches us how we can use emotions as guides to both heal trauma and attain a more vital and calm state of being. As a follower of Hendel’s blog—and an avid user of the Change Triangle to understand my own inner...
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Mindfulness at Work: How to Avoid Stress, Achieve More, and Enjoy Life! [By Stephen McKenzie]
From the book's page on Amazon: Mindfulness isn't anything that we think; it's what we don't think. Mindfulness isn't something that other people do; it's something that we all do. Mindfulness is an ancient, life-enhancing, healing technique...
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How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character
Claudia Gold, a pediatrician who blogs on Child in Mind and Boston.com , wrote a terrific post about Paul Tough and his book How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character . He was...
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"Is That Me Yelling?" A new book for parents and professionals
I am happy to announce that my book, "Is That Me Yelling? is out in bookstores and online. It's been a labor of love to write about ways parents can become more familiar with themselves as they attempt to respond, rather than over-react, to their...
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Jemma's Journey
This is a review from the Like Minds Like Mine newsletter: Mt. Maunganui (New Zealand) psychologist Janet Peters, who has been involved with the New Zealand Mental Health Foundation's Like Minds Like Mine programme for over...
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Our Encounters with Suicide (July 2013)
Our Encounters with Suicide, edited by Alec Grant, Judith Haire, Fran Biley and Brendan Stone. From the book web site : The collection brings together a range of voices on the theme of suicide — those who have been suicidal, alongside the...
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Reaching and Teaching Children Who Hurt
This is a book I wrote addressing the needs of traumatized children in public school settings. Given the overwhelming number of children with "aces too high", it is importnat for teachers recognize some common characteristics of traumatized...
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Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much
We have all experienced those times when there is just not enough time to get everything done. We probably have experienced a time when we did not have enough money to pay all our bills and meet all our wants. We have probably all been on an extreme...
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"Unfinished Conversation: Healing From Suicide and Loss"
Robert E. Lesoine's best friend Larry took his life by suicide on October 15, 2005. Although Lesoine knew Larry was struggling with feelings of disappointment, dejection, and loss, along with the return of debilitating pain associated with a past...
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Unsettled/Desasosiego: Children in a World of Gangs/Los niños en un mundo de las pandillas
Donna De Cesare is an incredible photographer, and she has produced a beautiful and heartbreaking collection of photos in this book. Here's the summary from Amazon: Central American nations have recently had the highest per capita homicide rates...
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You Can't Be Neutral on a Moving Train: A Personal History of Our Times
The Link below shows the documentary for free. It is a great documentary. Though it is not necessarily directly related to ACEs, it actually is. Children need civil rights too. Children do not have the monetary power, the political power (except...
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The Insight Cure: Change Your Story, Transform Your Life, by John Sharp
John Sharp is a psychiatrist and professor at Harvard Medical School. In his book Insight Cure , Sharp includes ACEs science in his exploration of how traumatic events from childhood may turn into what he calls a "false truth" (such as "I am unlovable") that then turns into a maladaptation that can plague an individual for life. His book outlines an 8-step program to help readers shine the light of awareness on these false truths that so many of us harbor based on early childhood...
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The Relentless School Nurse: "Unless Someone Like you Cares a Whole Awful Lot, Nothing is Going to get Better. It's Not." - Dr. Seuss
The opening quote in Dr. Mona Hanna-Attisha's gripping book, What The Eyes Don't See, struck me right in the heart: "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." so says Dr. Suess. Caring is something that may be in short supply during our current political climate. Grappling with caring, too much or too little is worth a moment of self-reflection. We have to know what we care about, and lead with our "why," in order to make an impact. Dr. Mona...
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The Road to Whatever
It is no longer possible to deny that there is widespread alienation, desperation, and violence among the youth that we have sometimes persuaded ourselves is a tranquil and unproblematic middle class. Yet, for the most part, that crisis has been either ignored or, when it explodes into public view, misunderstood. And this is a tragedy, because there are lives at stake.
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The TurnAround Mom: How an Abuse and Addiction Survivor Stopped the Toxic Cycle for Her Family--and How You Can, Too! by Carey Sipp
I'm so looking forward to reading this book and then interviewing the author, ACEs Connection SE Regional Facilitator Carey Sipp! From Amazon: If you grew up in a dysfunctional, abusive, or addictive home, you are intimately familiar with violence, uncertainty, and suppressing your feelings. What you may not know, though, is how to create a sane, structured, and serene home for your own family when you never experienced these things yourself. Now you can. Part courageous memoir, part...
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The upside of epigenetics - Change your genes, Change Your Life October 2018 release.
Hi all, Too often in our work we deal with the negative impact of epigenetics. Dr Ken Pelletier has written the book listed below, to help us address those negative impacts. (Full disclosure, I worked for Dr. Pelletier many years ago. I have the utmost respect for his work.) I am looking forward to reading it and learning new tools that can enhance resiliency and mitigate the impact of ACES. I have included the blurb about the book below, but you can check out his website and reviews for...
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Trauma Doesn’t Stop at the School Door
My newest book with Columbia Teachers College Press and a sidequel to my book, Breakaway Learners, is now available for pre-order on Amazon and Columbia Teachers College Press. Publication date is June 2020, in time for faculty and staff development and classroom use for Academic Year 2020 - 2021. The title to this blog is the book’s title, and the book probes and offers suggestion for how to facilitate student success for those students PreK—College who have experienced trauma. Real in the...
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Trauma-informed Healthcare Approaches: A Guide for Primary Care
Our recently published book, Trauma-informed Healthcare Approaches was written to share basic principles of trauma-informed care and ACEs science with general medical practitioners and administrators. As the recent #METOO movement has demonstrated, interpersonal trauma is widespread. A growing literature has demonstrated the impact of traumatic experiences on mental, physical health and wellbeing. Trauma survivors commonly access healthcare but their histories and needs are commonly...
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UPDATED Information Regarding Broken Places, Cracked Up, Paper Tigers & Resilience: Hosting a Film Screening to Start or Grow an ACEs Initiative: How-to Guide
Movie screenings of documentaries, such as Paper Tigers or Resilience are popular ways to introduce communities to ACEs science. Cissy White provides details about how to put on a screening event.
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Wheeling to Healing.....Broken Heart On A Bicycle
To ride a bicycle across the United States—Los Angeles to New Jersey—takes courage, a mission, and stamina. I did it twice. The first trip, during my mid-twenties, was done in hurt and fueled by anger. The second, at age 56, was done in the pursuit of healing self and others by collecting stories of other experiences of trauma and healing, dispensing information about human resilience, and sharing a deep belief in the power all people have to engage with and be enlightened by the process of...
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Why I believe Gregory Williams, and his book, Shattered By The Darkness, will help save lives and revolutionize healthcare.
When you first hear about it, it sounds unlikely, fact that something that happened to someone in utero, at the age of two months, or four years, or any time in childhood, is what is killing them as an adult, or making them want to die, or making them want to hurt themselves or others. Yet the connection between childhood trauma and adult disease, mental illness, addiction, suicide, violence – most all of society’s ills – is as irrefutable as the myriad truths revealed about it in the...
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Why We Shouldn’t Shield Children From Darkness (www.time.com) & Note
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Destroying sanctuary : the crisis in human service delivery systems by SL Bloom, BJ Farragher (2011)
"For the last thirty years, the nation's mental health and social service systems have been under relentless assault, with dramatically rising costs and the fragmentation of service delivery rendering them incapable of ensuring the safety, security,...
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Movie Review: "My Life as a Zucchini"
An animated short film released in 2016 that is 68 minutes in length and deals with childhood trauma. The main character, Icare (French for Icarus), who is nicknamed Zucchini by his single, alcoholic, abusive mother, accidentally causes her death and becomes an orphan who is sent to live in a foster home with other troubled children. The movie allows these children to express their feelings of pure loss and trauma, their loneliness and isolation from their families, and their attempts to...
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My Struggle by Karl Ove Knausgaard
I’ve just finished reading the third volume of My Struggle, by Karl Ove Knausgaard, a Norwegian whose six-volume memoir recounts in minute detail his traumatic experiences as a child and later as a husband and father of four. The fourth volume...
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Parenting through the Storm Book Review
Parenting Through the Storm: Find Help, Hope, and Strength When Your Child Has Psychological Problems , is written by Ann Douglas. The author, a member of this group and network , has a warm, open and honest tone. She's a parent and gets that parents and kids are sometimes or even often scared, struggling and in crisis. She knows. She writes about the time she almost lost her daughter, thirteen at the time, to death by suicide. Her daughter was vomiting and sleeping, restlessly, all night...
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Prince Harry and Oprah’s New TV Series Could Change the Way We View Mental Health at Work (thriveglobal.com)
A couple of years ago, Prince Harry joined the ever-growing list of high-profile public figures who are opening up about their mental health struggles. “I can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12, and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the last 20 years, has had a quite serious effect on not only my personal life, but my work as well,” Harry said on a podcast for The Daily Telegraph . Now Harry and Oprah Winfrey are teaming up on a series for Apple TV+ that will debut...
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Sibling Loss is Traumatic, Too
For anyone who might be interested, please feel free to check out my book about sibling loss. As a professional and as a sibling loss survivor, this work has been years in the making through research and observation. Please contact me if you would like to comment or add to the discussion about how early loss in childhood can be a trauma! https://www.amazon.com/Turning-Page-Helping-Child-Sibling/dp/1312511699/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1470059014&sr=8-1&keywords=turning+the+page+helping
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Supernormal: The Untold Story of Adversity and Resilience by Meg Jay
From description on Amazon page for book: Clinical psychologist and author of The Defining Decade, Meg Jay takes us into the world of the supernormal: those who soar to unexpected heights after childhood adversity. Whether it is the loss of a parent to death or divorce; bullying; alcoholism or drug abuse in the home; mental illness in a parent or a sibling; neglect; emotional, physical or sexual abuse; having a parent in jail; or growing up alongside domestic violence, nearly 75% of us...
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The Books That Helped Me Transition from Trauma to Triumph: A Book Review Series - "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life"
Learning to find my gifts within my chaos has changed everything. Everything.
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Re: Inflammation! Who knew???
Thank you for posting Bill. I too have knee pain and arthritis and have been looking to reduce inflammation. Before I tell you what I have done, I want you to know about an interview I recently did about Childhood Disrupted with Donna. You can check out my web site at http://www.nurserona.com/ . I will post the interview there after it airs on KPFA.org on Nov. 23rd. I have known about the ACEs work for many years now, and find it essential for healing. I recently was able to get Kaiser to...
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Re: The Resiliency Workbook: Bounce Back Stronger, Smarter & With Real Self-Esteem [by Nan Henderson]
Great points Tina Marie. I will check out the workbook, but this discussion helps validate why I've been struggling to find a resilience measure that I like to compliment the ACE screen. All the measures are either over clients heads (too clinical) or somehow invalidating or not trauma-informed to some degree. I love the concept of empowering ourselves with an awareness of our own protective factors and strengths, but I think the struggle in finding universal screens and tools is that our...
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Re: Mad Matters: A Critical Reader in Canadian Mad Studies by LeFrançois, et al. (2013)
Yes, there are states/communities that claim to be trauma-informed but are not practicing it. They have documents up on their websites touting how trauma-informed they are and then when it comes down to a consumer’s experience they just retraumatize sufferers over and over again. There are no words for this great disappointment. And then people wonder why people with mental health challenges don’t seek treatment. The challenge with the trauma-informed movement is to change people’s hearts, a...
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Re: Self Care Via Nutrition - An Anti-Antidepressant Approach
I agree that nutrition is important. I find that people don't drink enough water, and consume too much sugar and caffeine in drinks, and that only keeps the adrenal system activated as well as hosing the glucose/insulin system, already exacerbated by constant stress. It is however, the last place I go when dealing with traumatized people. I have discovered that if they start with a modality that releases the trauma, and teaches self-regulation, the self-regulation will spread to other areas...
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Re: Nothing Matters More Than Hope -- Including Resiliency
I Am not following Cassey - or anyone. Please remove me from this follow-up list. Too many emails from too many sources. Thanks > On Oct 18, 2019, at 10:07 AM, ACEsConnection < communitymanager@acesconnection.com > wrote: >