In this episode of Transforming Trauma, Dr. Laurence Heller, the Creator of the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM), is joined by host Sarah Buino to reflect on a very common question about the role spirituality plays in the healing of trauma: How does spirituality support the resolution of early trauma?
Dr. Heller, a renowned clinical psychologist, author and trauma trainer, reflects on a subject that is generally downplayed or even attacked in traditional psychology - spirituality. Having taught internationally for over 25 years, Dr. Heller has been inspired by the spiritual foundations that serve as a resource for individuals and communities around the world in facing collective trauma. He compares this to the role spirituality is playing now in the midst of the global Coronavirus pandemic.
Instead of using spirituality as a way to “make meaning of the situation”, Dr. Heller sees spirituality as providing the capacity to hold the possibility of not knowing what’s going on in the world, and finding acceptance and calm in the face of the helplessness of collective trauma. Embodied spirituality provides more resources for people to be in the moment, even in the face of ongoing threat. When describing spirituality, Dr. Heller uses the word abiding, meaning being able to be with the not knowing.
Dr. Heller posits that trauma ultimately does not create disconnection; it leads to the loss of awareness of connection, which feels to individuals like profound disconnection and disorientation. Even though trauma causes such serious consequences for individuals and communities, Dr. Heller shares his personal belief that on another level, “we can never truly be disconnected.” This is a deep resource when people can access this level of their experience.
Sarah and Dr. Heller also discuss a spectrum of spiritual trauma, from those who’ve been abused by others exploiting spirituality for their own gain, to those who, as Sarah puts it, are “addicted to spirituality”. They talk about what is referred to as “spiritual bypass”, which is when spiritual beliefs or practices are used to disconnect, generally in the face of uncertainty, for example in minimizing emotions and pushing for forgiveness.
Spirituality can reconnect a person to their heart. Heartfulness is an important quality of the NARM approach, specifically the heartfulness of the therapist. Dr. Heller reminds listeners that clients pick up on their therapist's internal state — meaning clients also pick up on the spiritual foundation of their therapist. When a client senses a strong spiritual foundation of their therapist, the client often feels a stronger sense of safety. This can lead to the client feeling more capacity to be curious and open to their own experiences.
When we face our often unrecognized developmental trauma, it exposes the cracks in our perceived identity. For people who are curious about exploring these cracks in their identity, oftentimes beautiful growth and even a stronger spiritual foundation can develop as we heal from unresolved trauma - this is often referred to as post-traumatic growth. Dr. Heller reminds us of the late Leonard Cohen’s line, “There is a crack in everything – that's how the light gets in”.
Listen: https://narmtraining.com/trans...gtrauma/episode-011/
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