Tagged With "Children's book about ACEs"
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School Council, School Improvement Plans, ACEs, Diversity & Help?
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community: I'm wondering if anyone has worked ACEs-related language into a School Council School Improvement Plan? I'm on the School Council for a charter school and we're looking at improving parent engagement., in general, and as part of that I'm trying to introduce two topics: 1) ACEs and 2)Race, Class & Parent Involvement We have kids from 30 different communities and 1/3 of the students are Haitian. The other 2/3 are mostly but not entirely Caucasian.
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We are the We
Cissy White and I were talking about the Parenting with ACEs (this group as well as the process of parenting with ACEs). We got animated, excited and went on and on and on (as we often do when we get to talking!) We decided to write a joint blog post to tell you about our conversation and ask you to weigh in on what you want. Read on our attempt at a combined post: Gail's voice - I called to ask if Cissy thought there was need for a place on the Parenting with ACEs group site for parents to...
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What are you reading, writing, struggling with or thinking about?
Please share questions or blog posts, resources or articles with this Parenting with ACEs community. It can be personal or work related or both. If you don't feel like posting, feel free to comment or make suggestions about what you're looking for or would like to see more of and I can work to bring it here.
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What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?
Hi Everyone: I'm building out the resources for this group. I'd love to know what you have needed in your own parenting or in the work you have done/are doing with parents parenting with ACEs. If there are any good books, videos, handouts or anything you've heard are helpful, please share. If you have any comments or insights that you've said or heard people talking about needing, like more community or places to learn how to parent differently, etc., please share those as well. Thanks so...
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ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
I work at an Early Learning Center that serves Head Start and ECEAP preschool families. We are looking to bring ACES and Resiliency to parents, but want to do so in a way that is strengths-based and does not leave families feeling at a loss for what they can do to move forward from ACES they and their families may have experienced. I have found many resources between this website and some other internet searches, but we are very interested in learning about other organization's experiences...
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Being present was the most exhausting part of parenting
I used to sneak away for a hot bath as often as possible when my daughter was in the need-me-every-minute years. I'd soak long past when the water went cold and I felt guilty at times but sometimes I needed to be alone. To read poetry. To have some physical space. To exhale. I didn't always know where or how to pamper or self-care myself. There were few adults I trusted. I believed in attachment-style parenting and wanted to be there all of the time. And that even made me feel guilty when I...
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Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
Let's create a list of resources useful for parenting ourselves and children. These can be books about child development or self-help books or a work of fiction that had important wisdom. If there's a title that's helped you or someone you know, love or work with as it relates to parenting, please share. For me, my absolute favorite is this: There's Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber This book is not about parenting. It's not about how-to parent I should say but it...
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Can Trauma-Informed Mermaids Help Children & Families? (New Kids Book Series)
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community, We just launched a new trauma-informed children's book series called Venus and Her Fly Trip . The series has been developed in collaboration with therapists, educators, parents and healers and is designed to promote mental/social/emotional health, body positivity and imaginative play in kids 4-10 , with the ultimate goal of preventing self-hatred. I would greatly value hearing the feedback of the ACEs community on this endeavor, and welcome your ideas for...
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Coronavirus Stress Supports & New AC Community: Balancing ACEs with HOPE
Hi Everyone: I hope you are holding up o.k. I know it's early days but I'm already pretty stretched, strained, and worried. So, if you didn't see on the main page, I wanted to draw your attention to a few free things that are nurturing, calming, and can help you, especially if you are parenting and parenting with ACEs. I know I'm not the best parent I can be when I'm in survival mode so these things are welcome. Please share others as I know there are resources being offered to those that...
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If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
I would like to talk to and hear from parent educators. If you teach parenting classes, incorporate parenting skills as part of the service you provide, or work to improve the lives of parenting survivors of childhood abuse in other ways, I need to hear from you. I'm hoping to find a provider interesting in writing an essay to be included in the soon to be released second edition of the Trigger Points Anthology , which will include the title change to Parenting with PTSD. I'm looking to gain...
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Looking for schools that specialize in "Resilience trumps ACEs"
I am a volunteer in my community who are in the early stages of learning about trauma informed care. There are some teenagers in our community who have been impacted by ACEs and succumbed to using opioids. A few of them who could afford the expense have enrolled in out of state (expensive) residential treatment centers (RTC). I am not sure if some of these RTCs explicitly use trauma informed care. I am observing that the RTC "graduates" returning home may or may not be resilient, especially...
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Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Hi everyone! I've made a blog (not yet launched) called A Resilient Parent (aresilientparent.com). I have a few goals in mind for this blog. First i want to help parents with ACEs heal, so they can thrive themselves. I also believe that whereas the focus is so strongly on this generations kids (for good reason, of course), I feel that outside help can be most effective when the parents are healing as well. Our children look up to their parents/guardians most of all! And it's not to late for...
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
Hi Kerry: Have you looked through earlier posts? I can make some suggestions, if not, but what I know of, so far, is here. We're on the same mission so let's keep sharing anything and everything! I'm just about to share this one below which might offer something. Cissy http://ivoh.org/parenting-stor...ative-familys-story/
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Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
Melissa: Great questions. I'm going to tag a few others to chime in as well. @Karen Clemmer @Rene Howitt @Rebekah Couch @Emily Read Daniels @Louise Godbold @Dawn Daum @Joyelle Brandt have all done presentations about ACEs, as have I. I'm sure we all do them differently and have experiences and thoughts on what does/doesn't work. My opinion is that sharing from the place of WE and US and OUR is most important. We are all impacted by the ACEs we do or do not carry. If we carry lots, that's a...
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Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
Hi Melissa - I agree with Cissy! In my experience families want information , presented in a non judgmental, safe, caring way. They are often open to conversations and at the same time they (may) need additional support to understand at a visceral level that it is what happened to them - not what is wrong with them. They did the best they could at the time - whatever that looked like. Knowledge is power. Typically I might mention that lots of us in this room have higher ACE scores including...
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Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
Melissa....I always start off my ACEs presentation by asking the audience to go back to their own childhood. Think about their siblings, parents, living room and home. As children we are not responsible for what may have happened to us and also had no control over those actions. I tell them "I know that you will be tempted to think about your own marriage, children and parenting but if you stay there this will feel like finger pointing. That is not the purpose of the presentation."...
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
Hi Rick: I'm the group manager. Welcome! You can share a question as a discussion topic or post something about you as a blog post or send me an email and let me know what brings you here. Cissy
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Re: Affects of ACEs or lack of Discipline?
Hi Naketta, Please find a couple of blog posts for your perusal that may prove beneficial as conversation starters. https://www.pacesconnection.com/...ty-sciencedirect-com https://www.pacesconnection.com/...e-wmcactionnews5-com https://www.pacesconnection.com/...he-roots-of-violence In her book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence , Miller hammers home her provocative stance that the root causes of ALL violence are a consequence of childhood trauma. Of...
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Re: School Council, School Improvement Plans, ACEs, Diversity & Help?
@Cissy White You're the best. I love that you are so boldly putting it out there! To begin with, you know that your question is laden with like 10,000 $1,000,000 questions. You may be new to this arena, but you're a quick study, so of course you have all the questions everyone in education has been grappling with for eternity: - How to include ALL VOICES? - How to bridge PTAs mission with the broader school community? - How to engage parents with busy lives, distance, etc? And for what...
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Re: Being present was the most exhausting part of parenting
Just happened to come across your honest sharing. Parenting with ACEs is tough, particularly as a single mom. I constantly struggled to be in the present while so many intrusive thoughts of the past overwhelmed me. There were times, I wished I could just close the mother door. "It wasn't intuitive or automatic. Some of it was natural but much of it was not." The above sentences really hit close to home. I do feel guilty about some of my behavior now. Though thankfully, my son has turned out...
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Re: Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
Daniel Siegel book The Whole Brain Child is a much easier read. Our Circle of Parents groups in Minnesota have used it with much success. He now has a workbookey that goes along with it.
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Re: What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?
I have a long history of personal and professional experience with childhood trauma. In the past 12+ years, I have been doing childhood trauma training. A number of years ago I was was privileged to experience educating parents, in community forums, about ACEs and Resilience. I really wanted a second voice - a parent who could reflect, parent to parent, about their experience having had early trauma. I invited several folks to do this, and it was very difficult for them. Having a son who is...
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Re: What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?
HI Pam: I just watched the video and it's WONDERFUL. It's SO GOOD!!! I bet it's wonderful for use in workshops. I will look for the book as well. I'm thrilled you are here. I'd love to talk to you about your work, in a Q&A to share in this group if you are willing. I'll send you a private message as well. Cissy
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Re: We are the We
WOW, talk about a loaded question!! I for one as an early childhood teacher/center director, PBS community outreach teacher, parent and child tend to answer from any or all of these perspectives as the posts opportune. I think dividing the group would be a mistake as parents are probably coming to the site seeking professional ideas and answers that may help them in their given situation. A list of resources may not be as useful to the parents as are links within our professional posts. And...
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Re: We are the We
From my experience, 'a group format' is more powerful when participants take OFF their 'professional hats,' and begin by identify the 'quadrant' they are in at the moment they are sharing. (Ex: head/intellectual, heart/emotional, hands & feet/action/relational, soul/believing.) Using this as a starting place allows a leveling playing field of connection, vs divide. Of understanding where one is coming from into the discussion. For example, after I read the posts above, I found myself in...
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Re: We are the We
Thank you for your comment, Heather. I absolutely agree that we need make sure parents get information about ACEs in ways that are useful for them (us!). I want to ask you (and the Parenting with ACEs community): what ACEs science-related information would you like to help you in discussions with fellow parents? with your family? What do folks need to help spread the work about ACEs?
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Re: We are the We
Jackie: Thank you for your thoughts. I agree with you about not dividing the group because so many of us do wear several different hats, and conversing, from all the perspectives, including ones not our own, is what makes this group so potentially powerful. If you have any resources to share, or more thoughts, and feelings or ideas, please keep sharing! Cissy
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Re: We are the We
www.pbsparents.org has a wealth of child development resources and parenting tips from a wide variety of "experts" regarding "normal" behavior. The great thing is adults caring for children can go there at any time for free and get ideas about where to head with their problem. Another great resource are the Sesame Workshop kits that deal with some very difficult issues, such as emotional well-being, bullying, getting ready for school, cultural diversity, grief, poverty, health, and...
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Re: Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Akacia: Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm the Community Manager for this community and I really hope you'll share your blog posts HERE. I think your perspective is key and I appreciate how much you shared. There are over 300 hundred of us here and many of us are parents or work with parents (have ACEs, kids or people we love or work with have ACEs) and we're all learning about trauma informed EVERYTHING and how we can heal and help support and understand our kids and be there for our kids. I love...
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Re: Prevalence of Parents with High ACEs
Jocelyn: Here's some article links that might be helpful. There's great data on general populations of adults with ACEs and even more on children with ACEs but I'm not sure there's anything that ties it together as directly as you are asking (though that would be fantastic). Here are some places for digging further. https://jamanetwork.com/journa.../fullarticle/2300375 https://www.pacesconnection.com/...xperiences-in-the-us This special issue can link you to lots of writers and researchers...
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Re: If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
Dawn: This is a great question and will make the book even more useful. Are you looking for survivor-led or co-led, only, initiatives, or everything and anything? Cissy
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Re: Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
I think there are a lot of resources that can help parents who are parenting with ACEs. Two books offering a lot of very practical support are both older classics-- How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Faber & Mazlish) and Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) by Thomas Gordon Both these books contain information and practical examples that can help parents become more resourced for responding constructively in moments or situations that are likely to be...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
HI Melissa: I know it's WAY late and I apologize for not seeing your question earlier! While I don't favor screening of parents I'm all for sharing surveys with parents. I don't favor screening til the medical, insurance, and screening places doing screenings have addressed race, gender, class, disability, homophobia and basically all kinds of bias since we know those most impacted most with most risks for ACE-associated issues are poor, female, LBGTQ, of color, and struggling with emotional...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Thank you for your reply, Cissy! I appreciate the perspective you shared. What we ended up doing at the first evening of the event was sending the parents home with a folder that had the ACEs and Resilience surveys, in addition to some other brief documents about Resilience, Serve and Return, etc. On the second evening, we did ask parents to reflect on their experience if they had done the survey at home. I especially like the point you made about acknowledging that often, we don't...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Hi Cissy, Yes, we were pleased with the event! We had a snow day on the original day of Part 1 and rescheduled it for the evening of Part 2, and then shifted Part 2 to the following week. We ended up having only about 1/3 of the participants who had RSVP'd, but I think that was largely due to the rescheduling that had to happen. We're looking forward to making some changes and scheduling it earlier next year to hopefully avoid the snow
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Speaking about Healing from Childhood Trauma
Hello. I’m Corey Wolff, and I have experienced childhood trauma. I speak about my journey and how I have healed from it. I would love to speak virtually to the members of your group. It would be both informative and inspiring. I am willing to speak for free. I am looking forward to your reply. Best, Corey Wolff https://facebook.com/events/s/healing-from-childhood-trauma/1294455877713593/