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Dear Parenting with ACEs Community: I'm wondering if anyone has worked ACEs-related language into a School Council School Improvement Plan? I'm on the School Council for a charter school and we're looking at improving parent engagement., in general, and as part of that I'm trying to introduce two topics: 1) ACEs and 2)Race, Class & Parent Involvement We have kids from 30 different communities and 1/3 of the students are Haitian. The other 2/3 are mostly but not entirely Caucasian.

Minnesota Communities Caring for Children has been doing Parent Cafes for several years. We are piloting an ACE Cafe for parents/grassroots communities and would like to know if anyone has used this model for this purpose? We will do three cafes with the following topics. Cafe I- The Study Cafe II Brain Science Cafe II Becoming Self Healing Communities We are looking for partners to help us create questions for each Cafe.

Cissy White and I were talking about the Parenting with ACEs (this group as well as the process of parenting with ACEs). We got animated, excited and went on and on and on (as we often do when we get to talking!) We decided to write a joint blog post to tell you about our conversation and ask you to weigh in on what you want. Read on our attempt at a combined post: Gail's voice - I called to ask if Cissy thought there was need for a place on the Parenting with ACEs group site for parents to...

I used to sneak away for a hot bath as often as possible when my daughter was in the need-me-every-minute years. I'd soak long past when the water went cold and I felt guilty at times but sometimes I needed to be alone. To read poetry. To have some physical space. To exhale. I didn't always know where or how to pamper or self-care myself. There were few adults I trusted. I believed in attachment-style parenting and wanted to be there all of the time. And that even made me feel guilty when I...

Hi Everyone: I hope you are holding up o.k. I know it's early days but I'm already pretty stretched, strained, and worried. So, if you didn't see on the main page, I wanted to draw your attention to a few free things that are nurturing, calming, and can help you, especially if you are parenting and parenting with ACEs. I know I'm not the best parent I can be when I'm in survival mode so these things are welcome. Please share others as I know there are resources being offered to those that...

Hey Roxy, this sounds great! I'm not really familiar with the "cafe" model, but I'd love to help. What kind of questions are you looking for from us? What kinds if demographics do you have in your area, and what population are you specifically trying to target? I know everyone across all demographics suffer from ACEs, but I think your content will depend on your audience.

At our recent First 5 Humboldt (CA) we had an introduction to this approach for parenting "classes/meetings." I really liked the amount of time shared in the small groups delving into the questions we were presented with. www.humkids.org is the local F5 website. In the contact us section look for Meg Walkley or Beth Heavlin. They are the resident trainers for First 5 Humboldt and our 0-8 Mental Health Collaborative.

Melissa: Great questions. I'm going to tag a few others to chime in as well. @Karen Clemmer @Rene Howitt @Rebekah Couch @Emily Read Daniels @Louise Godbold @Dawn Daum @Joyelle Brandt have all done presentations about ACEs, as have I. I'm sure we all do them differently and have experiences and thoughts on what does/doesn't work. My opinion is that sharing from the place of WE and US and OUR is most important. We are all impacted by the ACEs we do or do not carry. If we carry lots, that's a...

Hi Melissa - I agree with Cissy! In my experience families want information , presented in a non judgmental, safe, caring way. They are often open to conversations and at the same time they (may) need additional support to understand at a visceral level that it is what happened to them - not what is wrong with them. They did the best they could at the time - whatever that looked like. Knowledge is power. Typically I might mention that lots of us in this room have higher ACE scores including...

Melissa....I always start off my ACEs presentation by asking the audience to go back to their own childhood. Think about their siblings, parents, living room and home. As children we are not responsible for what may have happened to us and also had no control over those actions. I tell them "I know that you will be tempted to think about your own marriage, children and parenting but if you stay there this will feel like finger pointing. That is not the purpose of the presentation."...

Thank you all for your great replies and the details/resources you shared! This is so helpful for us to have moving forward.

Hi Akacia, Please share your posts with us at Parenting with PTSD when you launch your blog!

WOW, talk about a loaded question!! I for one as an early childhood teacher/center director, PBS community outreach teacher, parent and child tend to answer from any or all of these perspectives as the posts opportune. I think dividing the group would be a mistake as parents are probably coming to the site seeking professional ideas and answers that may help them in their given situation. A list of resources may not be as useful to the parents as are links within our professional posts. And...

Thank you for your comment, Heather. I absolutely agree that we need make sure parents get information about ACEs in ways that are useful for them (us!). I want to ask you (and the Parenting with ACEs community): what ACEs science-related information would you like to help you in discussions with fellow parents? with your family? What do folks need to help spread the work about ACEs?

Jackie: Thank you for your thoughts. I agree with you about not dividing the group because so many of us do wear several different hats, and conversing, from all the perspectives, including ones not our own, is what makes this group so potentially powerful. If you have any resources to share, or more thoughts, and feelings or ideas, please keep sharing! Cissy

Akacia: Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm the Community Manager for this community and I really hope you'll share your blog posts HERE. I think your perspective is key and I appreciate how much you shared. There are over 300 hundred of us here and many of us are parents or work with parents (have ACEs, kids or people we love or work with have ACEs) and we're all learning about trauma informed EVERYTHING and how we can heal and help support and understand our kids and be there for our kids. I love...

Jocelyn: Here's some article links that might be helpful. There's great data on general populations of adults with ACEs and even more on children with ACEs but I'm not sure there's anything that ties it together as directly as you are asking (though that would be fantastic). Here are some places for digging further. https://jamanetwork.com/journa.../fullarticle/2300375 https://www.pacesconnection.com/...xperiences-in-the-us This special issue can link you to lots of writers and researchers...

I think there are a lot of resources that can help parents who are parenting with ACEs. Two books offering a lot of very practical support are both older classics-- How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Faber & Mazlish) and Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) by Thomas Gordon Both these books contain information and practical examples that can help parents become more resourced for responding constructively in moments or situations that are likely to be...

HI Melissa: I know it's WAY late and I apologize for not seeing your question earlier! While I don't favor screening of parents I'm all for sharing surveys with parents. I don't favor screening til the medical, insurance, and screening places doing screenings have addressed race, gender, class, disability, homophobia and basically all kinds of bias since we know those most impacted most with most risks for ACE-associated issues are poor, female, LBGTQ, of color, and struggling with emotional...

This has been a brutal year, especially on kids and their parents! Research says parents are YELLING more, SPANKING more and that the mental health of children is on the decline. Research suggests child abuse in on the rise. SO MUCH STRESS! Parents really need us right now. Help us create a community of care! We are launching the 6th annual NoSpank Challenge to help parents learn... Brain development (and what is normal!) How to parent non-violently How to talk to your children in a way that...