Tagged With "Upcoming Livestream on Father's Day"
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Spokane, WA, public health nurses create trauma-sensitive toolkit for parents/caregivers
Public health nurses at Spokane Regional Health District (SRHD) developed a 178-page toolkit -- 1*2*3 Care -- for caregivers of children. They define caregivers as parents, g randparents, child care providers, teachers, and others who care...
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Survivor-Led Advocacy Initiatives
It's not trauma-informed if it's not informed by trauma survivors. I say this as a trauma survivor but even more as someone who has worked at a shelter for homeless families at a time when my own father was homeless. I saw class differences cause clashes that went beyond clumsy and awkward moments. People were hurt and dis-empowered at times by the very staffers working hard, and for low pay, to help. I was in college, and with only that as a qualification, told, during my first interview,...
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Taming the Dragons: Helping Children Cope: Ages Birth to Twelve Years
Taming the Dragons is a training manual for parents, foster parents, and kinship caregivers. It was developed out of a crisis nursery in WA state by Sue Delucchi. English and Spanish versions attached here for free downloads.
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The Absence of Punishment in Our Schools
Where to begin... My heart is full of hope and joy as I watch the trauma-informed schools movement swell across our nation and planet. The science of ACEs is mind-bending to say the least and we are now able to open up a much deeper dialogue about human behavior and health. Ultimately this work is about healing… All. Of. Us. A new consciousness is taking root around ending the “us vs them” construct. The idea is growing that we’re all on this journey together and that no matter where our...
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Recognizing and Attending to Intergenerational Trauma
A mother brings her 8-year-old son to the pediatrician after his teacher repeatedly asks her to have him evaluated for ADHD. The trauma-informed pediatrician knows that childhood trauma exposure can resemble hyperactivity associated with ADHD. The pediatrician asks the mother to privately complete an adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) questionnaire and asks to do one with the son as well. The questionnaire reveals that the son had witnessed his mom being physically abused by her last two...
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Registration Open - 2019 Families and Fathers Conference Early Rate and Hotel Discount Closing Please Share
In forty-eight days, we open our 20th convening of a powerful conference focused on strengthening families, improving outcomes for children, and strategies to engage families. The 20th Annual Families and Fathers Conference hosted by Fathers and Families Coalition of America Sponsorships allow the extended early rate for an exceptional experience in Los Angeles, California from March 4th (pre-conference institute credential) through the main conference dates of March 5th - 7th. Please share...
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Response from Heather Turner to Question from Colette Ryan about Trauma-Informed Parenting Resources
Here's another private email I got last week that I'm eager to share to keep this dialogue going. Clearly, people are looking for more about trauma-informed parenting and interested in the question posed by Colette Ryan. These are Heather Turner's thoughts. She shared them via email and I asked if she'd allow them to be shared with the wider group. Luckily, she agreed. Please add your own thoughts, feelings and insights to this conversation. I was forwarded a copy of your email in which...
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Revealing the Lives of Black Fathers [nytimes.com]
When Robyn Price Pierre walked down the street with her husband and newborn baby, she often noticed the curious stares and smiles her spouse received from strangers as he pushed his daughter’s stroller. She soon realized why: It was the surprise of passers-by encountering a scene that’s mostly invisible in mainstream culture — a black man as a devoted parent. This realization inspired Ms. Price Pierre, creative director of the publisher Twenty Eight Ink, to explore black fatherhood in depth...
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Rwanda's Plan to Reduce Poverty by Harnessing Father's Love [qz.com]
By Annabelle Timsit, Quartz Africa, October 8, 2019 Like many three-and-a-half year olds, Odille Igirimbabazi loves to sing and dance. On a recent morning in her home, wearing her favorite blue and yellow dress and clutching a doll that her dad, James, made for her, she sings religious songs and sways energetically as James watches, claps, and smiles, tapping his feet. When she finishes, he scoops her up into his arms to tell her how proud he is. “Bravo!” If this seems a common family scene,...
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'Sesame Street' Releases Pandemic PSA For Tired Parents Featuring Elmo's Dad [huffingtonpost.ca]
Article by Al Donato If you’re an exhausted parent at home right now, you have a friend in Elmo’s dad, Louie. In the latest pandemic programming from “Sesame Street,” the children’s series has released a PSA for parents starring the famous Muppet’s father. In the PSA, Louie reveals that, like many kids cooped up at home, Elmo won’t leave his parents alone. “It is wonderful to spend so much time with our children, but it can also be a bit ...” the older Muppet pauses, before letting out the...
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Lifebooks & Some Tips for Social Workers & Parents (www.adoptionlifebooks.com)
Beth O'Malley is a social worker who was in foster care as a child. She worked, for decades, at the Department for Children and Families (formerly called DSS). She is also a mother. Her child was adopted as well. She has a wide range of personal and professional perspectives. It's from her I learned about the importance of Lifebooks which can be made with and for toddlers, grade schoolers, and even teens. They are practical because they may be the one place a child can have to store names...
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Making the Good Stuff Louder: Trauma Dad, Bryon Hamel
Byron Hamel, (AKA Trauma Dad ), is a filmmaker , children's rights and men's wellness advocate. He's also a father with "ACEs through the roof," who survived child torture at the hands of a man now on death row for infanticide. Before the Father & ACEs chat started last week (see full chat transcript ), we discussed if and how to give a trigger warning. Hamel's experienced horrific trauma during childhood. He didn't want to traumatize those on the chat but wanted to be honest.
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Mama Obama & Daddy Donald: Growing Myself Up (www.healwritenow.com) & Question
Dear Parents & Professionals: How are you all responding to Michelle Obama's powerful speech? How are you holding up hearing all the women talking about we have experienced? In general as well as in relation to Donald Trump and Bill Clinton? I've been so deeply rattled and disturbed. But not, at first. It took me hearing Michelle Obama's speech to get honest and clear and to allow tears and outrage. And also to do some serious self-reflection. I had my fourteen year old listen to...
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Maternal Health Visionary Spotlight: Dr. Joia Crear-Perry [MHTF]
MHTF July 19, 2019 Dr. Joia Crear-Perry, National Birth Equity Collaborative founder and president, calls on us to value every woman to achieve maternal health equity. At the 10 th anniversary celebration of the Maternal Health Task Force, The Global Maternal Health Symposium, 10 Maternal Health Visionary awards were presented. The recipients were honored for the impact, innovation, inspiration, leadership, and future vision they have provided to the field of Maternal Health. This blog...
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Maternity Group Home Program Funding Opportunity. Applications Due 07/25/2019 [Admin for Children & Families]
Funding Opportunity Application Due Date: 07/25/2019 Maternity Group Home Program *See attached pdf for more info. Description: The Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families' Family and Youth Services Bureau (FYSB) announces the availability of funds under the Transitional Living Program’s Maternity Group Home (MGH) grant program. The purpose to provide safe, stable, and appropriate shelter only for pregnant and/or parenting youth ages 16 to...
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Mentored Boys or Monster Boys: The Two Choices for Our Future
I wrote recently about my preparations to take my 15 year-old grandson, Deon, for a four day, young men’s rites of passage, retreat. It was truly an adventure of a life-time for both of us and want to share a bit about the experience with you (that’s me in the second row on the right with Deon beside me). I’ve long believed that mentoring is critical to the well-being of our children and grandchildren, particularly the young men. It’s also critical to the well-being of our communities. Many...
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Mother's Day Can Be Hard: Chasing the Blues
The world has changed in many good ways. All over my newsfeed yesterday and today are posts about aching, loss, grief and divorcing from parents. Mother's Day, Father's Day and other holidays can be hard. At least that loss isn't experienced only in silence now. This year, I've seen many posts more complex than greeting cards. That wasn't always so. I'm not here to tell anyone about how Mother's Day should or might feel and if anger or forgiveness is good or bad, toxic or healthy or what...
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Mother's Day Musings
"Was in the Mother's Day card aisle tonight," my good friend texted me, "there's still a big opportunity in that aisle for us to make some money... that's all I'll say about that." Her mother is an addict she hasn't seen, except for court appearances, in years. She knows my father was a homeless alcoholic. She showed up with a bag of lollipops and a hug when I got confirmation that he was dead and had died more than a year prior. There was no card for that or for her version of Mother's Day.
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Mothering at the Edge
Life has been so sweet of late and that, for me, has been emotional. I feel a mixture of joy and disbelief. This time of mothering a teen as a parent with ACEs. I sit the edge of my bed sorting socks and memories. A middle-aged mother in so many kinds of transition. Some mornings, I hear her feet soft on carpeted stairs, see her long hair rolling down her back almost touching the hips. I remember when she did not have hips. The years I gathered her up each morning, carrying her down the...
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The dad from that viral baby video is demonstrating a crucial parenting skill [Quartz]
Editor’s note: This article was included in the monthly update from the Harvard Center on the Developing Child that featured the campaign “Let’s Tell the World about #ServeAndReturn.” If you’re not one of the 55 million + viewers of this video, don’t miss it. It is heartwarming and funny (the father is a Tennessee comedian), and wonderful example of a child learning love and language. Last week, a video of a dad talking to his 19-month-old son broke the internet . In the clip, Tennessean...
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The "F" Words: Fear & Forgiveness
“If your parent is the bear in the living room, it is biologically impossible to run to that parent when they are either over or under reacting. If your parent is scary you can’t run to them. And you also can’t run away from them because you are a child, you can’t function in the world on your own. You can’t make it out there." Donna Jackson Nakazawa We can get so lost in theory, data and facts that our language about trauma, abuse and adverse childhood experiences can become clinical and...
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The Holidays Can Be Hard
The holidays can be hard for many of us parenting with ACEs. This time last year I found out my estranged father died. It was such a relief. For months, I kept thinking, "I love having a dead Dad." And I know it's not a thought most people have had. But for my whole life I carried my father's life like a question I could not answer. Even though I had not seen him regularly, for decades, I never stopped wondering about his life, his absence and his own childhood. We never stop being related...
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The Mother that Never Was (www.beatingtrauma.com) & Commentary
Elisabeth Corey wrote this essay piece about her mother. It's honest, painful and difficult to read. Many will be able to relate. Our bonds with our parents can be complicated (no matter what our ACE score). But it's even more so when our relationships have been filled with ACEs and the hurt, betrayal, and scars that can accompany them. Once we survive childhood and are not dependent on our parents we may have lots to sort through. Things that are not easy to live with or make sense of. Her...
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The Nurtured Parent Revolution: Transforming Trauma through Love, Healing, and Social Justice Activism
Many family courts across the nation routinely fail the most vulnerable in our society: mothers and their children in crisis seeking a life free from abuse. In 2012, the U.S. Department of Justice released the Saunders Report , a study that found the standard and required domestic violence training received by judges, lawyers, and custody evaluators, does not adequately prepare them to handle abuse cases. Inadequately trained professionals tend to believe the myth that mothers frequently...
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The Powerful Role of Parents in Tackling Bullying
Parents also have the power to prevent bullying by changing family dynamics. They may not know it, and they may not know how to do it.
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The Problem with ACEs Implementation
The Adverse Childhood Experiences study was ground-breaking in its recognition that childhood trauma impacts individuals across their lifespan. This was the big take-away, that adults are living with unrecognized and thus untreated physical, mental and emotional consequences that have massive detrimental impacts on their quality (and quantity) of life. And yet, when we see the research and programming that has been implemented following the ACE study, the consensus seems to be that the...
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The Quality of Intimate Relationships in Indian Country
As a research topic, Intimate Relationships are not well understood in Indian Country. This article, [ LINK HERE ] soon to be published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, is a first small step in addressing this gap. Decades ago, I spoke about the difficulties of parenting when you had no examples to emulate. As a boy, I changed diapers, fed babies, soothed fussiness and performed scores of other child care tasks. During one of our early morning talks, my Mother told me that she was...
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The Relentless School Nurse: Candida Rodriguez is Creating Community Through the Power of Conversations That Matter
Candida Rodriguez is my mentor, while she may disagree with that statement and say it is the opposite, it is the absolute truth. My respect, admiration, and amazement at the depth of her knowledge, talent, and compassion astound me every time we work together. Candida serves her complex and ever-changing community with dedication, skill and a relentless pursuit of coordinating care for her students and families. We are partners in the Community Cafe Initiative that began in 2015 after I...
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The Relentless School Nurse: The Text Message No Parent Wants to Get - An Active Shooter is at School
Many blog readers know that my niece Carly is a survivor of the Parkland shootings at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. You may know that my father also survived a mass murder, and like Carly, hid in a closet until the police arrived. Almost 70 years separated the two tragedies. Our guest blogger this week is my sister Merri, Carly's mom. Merri shares her first-hand account of what happened the afternoon of February 14, 2018, when Carly sent this text, “Mom don’t freak out but we are on...
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The Science Behind Pregnant Fathers (www.huffingtonpost.com)
Before we discuss the science of my being a pregnant father I should divulge that I’ve also been a pregnant grandfather. I know there is much controversy nowadays around imagining that I am pregnant when my wife is the one navigating morning sickness, hormone flooding, weight gain, back pains, labor pains, fears of all of the above and so much more, but the fact is that a mother-to-be or a mother who is about-to-be-a-mother-again needs all the help she can possibly muster and if deciding...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter October 2019
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via...
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I’m not cured, but I am healing
I wanted every individual suffering from chronic illnesses to understand the emerging science on not only how early adversity can lead to adult chronic illness, but how we can heal.
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In honour of my Dad, Remembrance Day 2019
War is most certainly Hell. It is also a source of #ACEs for the children of veterans. Here's a little insight into my story.
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In Posthumous Memoir "Playing Hurt", Sportscaster John Saunders Faces His Demons [wbur.org/hereandnow]
Earlier this week, Robin Young of the NPR/WBUR Boston radio program “Here & Now” interviewed Wanda Saunders, widow of the late sportscaster John Saunders. John Saunders’s memoir, “Playing Hurt”, was published posthumously on August 8, 2017. Saunders died in 2016. The book is about Saunders’s struggle with severe depression, in part a result of abuse by his father. The link below includes audio of the interview, the text of interview highlights, and an excerpt from “Playing Hurt”. I...
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Inheriting and Inventing Fatherhood (onbeing.org)
The kind of father you become can be heavily influenced notions you don’t even know you have the day your child is born. For better or worse, it’s impossible to enter life as a parent unaffected by the framework and culture of your upbringing. It’s your starting point. I was exposed as a young boy to many different models of fatherhood from various sources on TV, at the movies, in my family, and around the neighborhood: the quiet, aloof dad who comes home from work and is left alone to sit...
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Jumaane Williams’s Breakthrough Victory Speech (New Yorker)
Editorial note: This is a moving account by Jennifer Gonnerman of triumph over trauma in a just minutes-long election night speech by Jumaane Williams, recently elected Public Advocate for New York City. The video does not include his remarks about being in therapy for three years (important for many to hear) so please read Gonnerman's outstanding report. I was moved by the entire account—his demonstrative affection for his mother and sister and his tribute to his fifth-grade teacher, Ms.
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Just Let It Go – Yeah, Right
Please forgive the snarky title. I want to address something pervasive that I see in the business and personal growth community and I have strong feelings about it. I was on Facebook the other day reading a piece by yet another business leader telling me to just simply let go of my fear of being visible. I’ve seen hundreds of versions of this created by well-meaning leaders, coaches and healers of all kinds. Sound familiar?
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Justice is Love: Fatherhood and Equity during COVID-19 [positiveexperience.org]
By Guest Author, 5/5/20, positiveexperience.org/blog Today’s post is based on an interview with Corey Best, a member of the HOPE National Advisory Board and the Birth Parent National Network (BPNN) | CTF Alliance , which “promotes and champions birth parents as leaders and strategic partners in prevention and child welfare systems reform.” Can you introduce yourself and your work? My name is Corey Best, and I’m a family engagement consultant and speaker by title. I stand for justice in the...
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When Parents Fear "It's All My Fault"
Many of my colleagues in the field of early childhood mental health work with what are termed "high risk" populations. Children of drug addicted parents, victims of child abuse, and families in abject poverty. While the challenges these families face are daunting, I find myself feeling some envy for my colleagues whose clients are in such obvious distress that the need for intensive treatment of parent and infant is not in question. In my rural, small-town population things are not so clear.
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When Your Kid is Too Good for Brené Brown
Childhood, like literature, lasts." Lance Woolaver, paraphrased from his book, Maud Lewis: The Heart at the Door. Even in the midst of conflict, I have known moments of maternal bliss. I had one just recently when my daughter and I hit a snag. It wasn't one of the ugly, awful or prolonged kinds. That's not due to me though. That's mostly because my kid has a practical, logical and rational nature which does not clash with my more emotional, reactive and fearful one. We are alike enough to...
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Whole People Series & Study Guide (www.pbs.org)
There's a fantastic five-part series, Whole People , done by PBS, " spotlighting the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) through personal and community stories. It explores the long-term costs to personal well-being and our society. While much work needs to be done, there are many innovative developments to prevent and treat ACES. We all play a role in becoming a whole people." It's amazing. The five topics covered are as follows: Childhood Trauma Healing Communities A New...
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Why I Put my Drug-Affected Daughter Back on Drugs (www.brainchildmag.com)
Note: This essay is written by Melissa Hart. She is a parent with ACEs parenting a child with ACEs. I look around at the life we’ve created for her—the bedroom full of books and dress-up clothes and musical instruments, the photos on the wall of our family vacations to tropical beaches and wildflower mountains and national parks. I fight an urge to shake her little shoulders and stare into her big brown hostile eyes and yell, “Why can’t you just be happy?” But I don’t . . . because I know...
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Why Icelandic Dads Take Parental Leave and Japanese Dads Don't [theatlantic.com]
By Joe Pinsker, The Atlantic, January 23, 2020 Earlier this month, the 38-year-old Japanese environment minister, Shinjiro Koizumi, did something that would not make national, or even local, news in many industrialized countries: A couple of days before the birth of his and his wife’s first child, he said he planned to take time off from work to care for the baby. Koizumi’s planned leave is meager—he expects to take about two weeks off over the course of three months, and might still work...
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Why Shelley, and fellow survivors of childhood trauma are the missing voice in children’s services; and why it is crucial that we put them centre stage (www.weneedtotalkaboutchildrensmentalhealth.wordpress.com)
Cissy's note: I was Twitter complaining a bit yesterday about how often people talk about the importance of social connections, and yet, how rare it is for organizations and initiatives, to connect socially, with the very parents, families, residents, survivors, and communities. The people, discussed around tables, often are not even present at the table, or pretending it's conversation relevant for others rather than all of us in one way or another. It baffles and surrpises me still.
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Why Toddlers Deserve More Respect [theatlantic.com]
In The Emotional Life of the Toddler , the child-psychology and psychotherapy expert Alicia F. Lieberman details the dramatic triumphs and tribulations of kids ages 1 to 3. Some of her anecdotes make the most commonplace of experiences feel like they should be backed by a cinematic instrumental track. Take Lieberman’s example of what a toddler feels while walking across the living room: “If adults experienced and enacted the full range of feelings available to an average toddler in the...
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Wired To Be A Dad: Recent Science Fuels A New View Of Fatherhood [WBUR.org]
Charles Clayton Daniels Jr. was a "love child," he says, and his father dropped by randomly when he was a little boy. “Man, it was some of the happiest moments of my life,” he recalls. “I would literally wait by the door and when I saw his blue pickup truck arrive, I would be so happy I’d try to hug him before he came into the house.” But those drop-ins became less and less frequent. And when Charles Jr. was 10, his father stopped coming. Flash forward a decade. Daniels is in college --...
Ask the Community
Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Hi everyone! I've made a blog (not yet launched) called A Resilient Parent (aresilientparent.com). I have a few goals in mind for this blog. First i want to help parents with ACEs heal, so they can thrive themselves. I also believe that whereas the focus is so strongly on this generations kids (for good reason, of course), I feel that outside help can be most effective when the parents are healing as well. Our children look up to their parents/guardians most of all! And it's not to late for...
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National Black parents take their kids to school on how to deal with police (www.washingtonpost.com)
This is a gut-wrenching quote. “I am faced with a situation that you really cannot speak about and manage as a parent, as you feel that you should as a citizen,” Tucker said. Keith Pemberton, a social worker from High Point, N.C., is a member of Omega Psi Phi — a historically black fraternity with more than 700 chapters worldwide — and the father of three boys, ages 11, 8 and 6. “My wife and I really want to build into them a sense of possibility, of purpose. So, it is beyond disheartening...