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Parenting with PACEs. PACEs science & stories. Trauma-informed change.

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restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...

Kerry Fair ·
I'm looking for all things related to the concepts of restorative parenting (Ehrhart and Mathews work), working with parents who have high ACE scores and risky parenting behaviors or even CPS involvement, supporting reconnection and repaired parent-child relationships, etc... Curriculum, research, books, articles...you name it! I'm on a mission! Thanks
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School Council, School Improvement Plans, ACEs, Diversity & Help?

Christine Cissy White ·
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community: I'm wondering if anyone has worked ACEs-related language into a School Council School Improvement Plan? I'm on the School Council for a charter school and we're looking at improving parent engagement., in general, and as part of that I'm trying to introduce two topics: 1) ACEs and 2)Race, Class & Parent Involvement We have kids from 30 different communities and 1/3 of the students are Haitian. The other 2/3 are mostly but not entirely Caucasian.
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We are the We

Gail Kennedy ·
Cissy White and I were talking about the Parenting with ACEs (this group as well as the process of parenting with ACEs). We got animated, excited and went on and on and on (as we often do when we get to talking!) We decided to write a joint blog post to tell you about our conversation and ask you to weigh in on what you want. Read on our attempt at a combined post: Gail's voice - I called to ask if Cissy thought there was need for a place on the Parenting with ACEs group site for parents to...
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What are you reading, writing, struggling with or thinking about?

Christine Cissy White ·
Please share questions or blog posts, resources or articles with this Parenting with ACEs community. It can be personal or work related or both. If you don't feel like posting, feel free to comment or make suggestions about what you're looking for or would like to see more of and I can work to bring it here.
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What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?

Christine Cissy White ·
Hi Everyone: I'm building out the resources for this group. I'd love to know what you have needed in your own parenting or in the work you have done/are doing with parents parenting with ACEs. If there are any good books, videos, handouts or anything you've heard are helpful, please share. If you have any comments or insights that you've said or heard people talking about needing, like more community or places to learn how to parent differently, etc., please share those as well. Thanks so...
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ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)

McKinley McPheeters ·
I work at an Early Learning Center that serves Head Start and ECEAP preschool families. We are looking to bring ACES and Resiliency to parents, but want to do so in a way that is strengths-based and does not leave families feeling at a loss for what they can do to move forward from ACES they and their families may have experienced. I have found many resources between this website and some other internet searches, but we are very interested in learning about other organization's experiences...
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ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents

McKinley McPheeters ·
Hello all, I work at an Early Learning Center and we will be presenting on ACES and Resilience to the parents of preschoolers. One of the aspects we have debated is when to offer them the ACES and Resilience surveys. However, after reading https://www.acesconnection.com/blog/putting-resilience-and-resilience-surveys-under-the-microscope I am wondering what purpose it would ultimately serve (and what unintended consequences it may have) to give parents the surveys. It would be optional, and...
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Being present was the most exhausting part of parenting

Christine Cissy White ·
I used to sneak away for a hot bath as often as possible when my daughter was in the need-me-every-minute years. I'd soak long past when the water went cold and I felt guilty at times but sometimes I needed to be alone. To read poetry. To have some physical space. To exhale. I didn't always know where or how to pamper or self-care myself. There were few adults I trusted. I believed in attachment-style parenting and wanted to be there all of the time. And that even made me feel guilty when I...
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Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?

Christine Cissy White ·
Let's create a list of resources useful for parenting ourselves and children. These can be books about child development or self-help books or a work of fiction that had important wisdom. If there's a title that's helped you or someone you know, love or work with as it relates to parenting, please share. For me, my absolute favorite is this: There's Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber This book is not about parenting. It's not about how-to parent I should say but it...
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Coronavirus Stress Supports & New AC Community: Balancing ACEs with HOPE

Christine Cissy White ·
Hi Everyone: I hope you are holding up o.k. I know it's early days but I'm already pretty stretched, strained, and worried. So, if you didn't see on the main page, I wanted to draw your attention to a few free things that are nurturing, calming, and can help you, especially if you are parenting and parenting with ACEs. I know I'm not the best parent I can be when I'm in survival mode so these things are welcome. Please share others as I know there are resources being offered to those that...
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If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!

Dawn Daum ·
I would like to talk to and hear from parent educators. If you teach parenting classes, incorporate parenting skills as part of the service you provide, or work to improve the lives of parenting survivors of childhood abuse in other ways, I need to hear from you. I'm hoping to find a provider interesting in writing an essay to be included in the soon to be released second edition of the Trigger Points Anthology , which will include the title change to Parenting with PTSD. I'm looking to gain...
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Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)

Christine Cissy White ·
Melissa: Great questions. I'm going to tag a few others to chime in as well. @Karen Clemmer @Rene Howitt @Rebekah Couch @Emily Read Daniels @Louise Godbold @Dawn Daum @Joyelle Brandt have all done presentations about ACEs, as have I. I'm sure we all do them differently and have experiences and thoughts on what does/doesn't work. My opinion is that sharing from the place of WE and US and OUR is most important. We are all impacted by the ACEs we do or do not carry. If we carry lots, that's a...
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Re: What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?

Pam Wessel-Estes ·
I have a long history of personal and professional experience with childhood trauma. In the past 12+ years, I have been doing childhood trauma training. A number of years ago I was was privileged to experience educating parents, in community forums, about ACEs and Resilience. I really wanted a second voice - a parent who could reflect, parent to parent, about their experience having had early trauma. I invited several folks to do this, and it was very difficult for them. Having a son who is...
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Re: What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?

Christine Cissy White ·
HI Pam: I just watched the video and it's WONDERFUL. It's SO GOOD!!! I bet it's wonderful for use in workshops. I will look for the book as well. I'm thrilled you are here. I'd love to talk to you about your work, in a Q&A to share in this group if you are willing. I'll send you a private message as well. Cissy
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Re: We are the We

Heather Turner ·
From my experience, 'a group format' is more powerful when participants take OFF their 'professional hats,' and begin by identify the 'quadrant' they are in at the moment they are sharing. (Ex: head/intellectual, heart/emotional, hands & feet/action/relational, soul/believing.) Using this as a starting place allows a leveling playing field of connection, vs divide. Of understanding where one is coming from into the discussion. For example, after I read the posts above, I found myself in...
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Re: We are the We

Gail Kennedy ·
Thank you for your comment, Heather. I absolutely agree that we need make sure parents get information about ACEs in ways that are useful for them (us!). I want to ask you (and the Parenting with ACEs community): what ACEs science-related information would you like to help you in discussions with fellow parents? with your family? What do folks need to help spread the work about ACEs?
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Re: Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!

Christine Cissy White ·
Akacia: Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm the Community Manager for this community and I really hope you'll share your blog posts HERE. I think your perspective is key and I appreciate how much you shared. There are over 300 hundred of us here and many of us are parents or work with parents (have ACEs, kids or people we love or work with have ACEs) and we're all learning about trauma informed EVERYTHING and how we can heal and help support and understand our kids and be there for our kids. I love...
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Re: If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!

Robbyn Peters Bennett ·
I work with ParentingBeyondPunishment to provide parenting support for parents with ACEs. Here is a sample free webinar series we did to help parents with their own self regulation and their children. http://stopspanking.org/nip/resiliency/
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Seeking Parent Input on New Tool to Work with Families on Relational Health

Sarah Rock, JD ·
Relational Health is vital to not just our mental well being but also to our physical health. VITAL's goal is to promote relational health, especially in partnership with parents/caregivers and pediatric providers. We are currently developing a tool to be used by pediatric practices to support children and their families to have safe, stable and nurturing relationships (SSNRs). If you'd be interested in taking a look and sharing your ideas, you could contribute to the design of a tool that...
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