Tagged With "unavailable women"
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Mentored Boys or Monster Boys: The Two Choices for Our Future
I wrote recently about my preparations to take my 15 year-old grandson, Deon, for a four day, young men’s rites of passage, retreat. It was truly an adventure of a life-time for both of us and want to share a bit about the experience with you (that’s me in the second row on the right with Deon beside me). I’ve long believed that mentoring is critical to the well-being of our children and grandchildren, particularly the young men. It’s also critical to the well-being of our communities. Many...
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Mommy Mentors Help Fight The Stigma Of Postpartum Mood Disorder (npr.org)
Becoming a mother is often portrayed as a magical and glorious life event. But many women don't feel joyful after giving birth. In fact, according to the American Psychological Association , almost 15 percent of moms suffer from a postpartum mood disorder like anxiety or depression, making maternal mental health concerns the most common complication of childbirth in the U.S. And even though these mental illnesses affect millions of women each year, new research shows 20 percent of mothers...
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Mother's Day: Belonging to Each Other (dailygood.org)
Mother’s Day offers us opportunities to express our love and thanks to the women who have cared for us in our lives — the birth or adoptive mother, the grandmother, the teacher, or the elder friend who have helped grow us up. But it’s not all Hallmark cards and breakfasts-in-bed. This particular holiday can stir up feelings of grief and pain for some of us. We suffer for the mother we have lost or a mother we felt we never really had. And yet, perhaps we might be able to simultaneously hold...
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Mothering at the Edge
Life has been so sweet of late and that, for me, has been emotional. I feel a mixture of joy and disbelief. This time of mothering a teen as a parent with ACEs. I sit the edge of my bed sorting socks and memories. A middle-aged mother in so many kinds of transition. Some mornings, I hear her feet soft on carpeted stairs, see her long hair rolling down her back almost touching the hips. I remember when she did not have hips. The years I gathered her up each morning, carrying her down the...
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Mothers in Prison (www.nytimes.com)
Though the language of ACEs aren't used in this piece, so much of it is about parenting with ACEs. For the parents who are in prison, as adults and the children they once were as well as the impact being in prison has on their children. E xcerpt 1: TULSA, Okla. — The women’s wing of the jail here exhales sadness. The inmates, wearing identical orange uniforms, ache as they undergo withdrawal from drugs, as they eye one another suspiciously, and as they while away the days stripped of...
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My Encounter With Harvey Weinstein and What it Tells Us About Trauma
I have been watching the scandal about Harvey Weinstein emerge with great interest – in the early ‘90s, I too was one of the young women he preyed upon.
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The Developing Brain & Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Thanks to an explosion in scientific research now possible with imaging technologies, such as fMRI and SPECT, experts can actually see how the brain develops. This helps explain why exposure to adverse childhood experiences can so deeply influence and change a child's brain and thus their physical and emotional health and quality of life across their lifetime. The above time-lapse study was conducted over 10 years. The darker colors represent brain maturity (brain development). I have added...
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The First Body-Positive Children’s Book Just Came Out, and It’s Exactly What the World Needs Now (msn.com)
Chances are, if you’ve taken a stroll through the children’s-book section of bookstores or libraries recently, you’ve seen a lot of bright colors and catchy titles. You saw some good lessons on friendship and manners, some lively adventure stories and some cute animals. You also saw a lot of pictures of straight-size white girls. While children’s literature now features far more diverse stories than it did even a couple of years ago, there is still one movement that hasn’t gotten a foothold...
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The Healing Place Podcast - Dr. Erica Holmes: The Impact of Psychological Trauma , Dating with Purpose, & Post-Traumatic Growth
Dr. Erica Holmes has over 20 years of experience in the fields of psychotherapy and counseling, training and consultation, education, and research. She holds a Bachelor’s of Science degree in Sociology with a minor in Behavioral Science, as well as, a Master’s degree and Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from an APA Accredited Institution.
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The Healing Place Podcast - Kelly McDaniel: Mother Hunger & Early Attachment Injuries
In her practice, Kelly McDaniel, LPC, NCC, CSAT, author and psychotherapist, offers Individual Intensives for women living with the generational legacy of Mother Hunger. Kelly works carefully and confidentially with clients as they navigate the tender, primitive wound that comes from an early broken heart.
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The Midwives’ Resistance: How Native Women Are Reclaiming Birth on Their Terms [rewire.news]
Aboriginal or indigenous midwifery is seeing a resurgence as conventional health-care policies in hospital and clinics perpetuate an environment in which most contemporary pregnant Native women are considered pathologically unhealthy. “The mainstream medical narratives surrounding Native women depict moms who don’t breastfeed and don’t have partners. According to this portrayal, Native women don’t exercise, eat poorly, and have diabetes. We are seen as hopeless,” said Marinah Farrell, an...
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The Nurtured Parent Revolution: Transforming Trauma through Love, Healing, and Social Justice Activism
Many family courts across the nation routinely fail the most vulnerable in our society: mothers and their children in crisis seeking a life free from abuse. In 2012, the U.S. Department of Justice released the Saunders Report , a study that found the standard and required domestic violence training received by judges, lawyers, and custody evaluators, does not adequately prepare them to handle abuse cases. Inadequately trained professionals tend to believe the myth that mothers frequently...
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The Parent Defender Model Heads West [chronicleofsocialchange.org]
In many ways, the challenges of the child welfare field mirror those in the criminal justice system. Both disproportionately ensnare over-policed, underserved communities, especially people of color and those living in deep poverty. The difference between those systems, explain East Bay Family Defenders co-founders Eliza Patten and Zabrina Aleguire, is one of gender. Women fill these courtrooms. In September 2018, Patten and Aleguire launched East Bay Family Defenders with a team of 10...
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The Powerful Role of Parents in Tackling Bullying
Parents also have the power to prevent bullying by changing family dynamics. They may not know it, and they may not know how to do it.
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The Rise of the Trauma-Informed Mothers
The next generation is less likely to wear predisposed shackles of trauma because as trauma-informed parents we are re-wiring the traumatically stressed DNA that was passed down to us.
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The Scientific Debate Over Teens, Screens And Mental Health [npr.org]
By Anya Kamenetz, National Public Radio, August 27, 2019 More teens and young adults — particularly girls and young women — are reporting being depressed and anxious, compared with comparable numbers from the mid-2000s. Suicides are up too in that time period, most noticeably among girls ages 10 to 14. These trends are the basis of a scientific controversy. One hypothesis that has gotten a lot of traction is that with nearly every teen using a smartphone these days, digital media must take...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter January 2020
Hi Folks, The January edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-01-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_January_2020.pdf Contents List : 1] Just Being Outside Can Improve Your Psychological Health, and Maybe Your Physical Health Too by Zoë...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter March 2020
Hi Folks, The March edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us. PDF - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-03The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_March_2020.pdf Thanks! Michael. Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse &...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter May 2020
Hi Folks, The May edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php or PDF - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-05-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_May_2020.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael . “ Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.” - Helen Keller The Surviving Spirit Newsletter May 2020 – please...
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How to Bring Caring for Kids and Elders (and Other Acts of Love) Into the Economy [yesmagazine.org]
Ask anyone about caregiving, and you’ll likely hear a story about personal sacrifice. Heather Boldon, a single mother from Minnesota, gave up her full-time job to care for her mother. She took a more than 50 percent pay cut, spent down her 401k, and lost her health insurance. When she was injured, she couldn’t visit a doctor to see whether she needed surgery. In New York, Delores McCrae, a home care worker, was evicted from her home and lived in a women’s homeless shelter where she was...
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How to Make Motherhood Easier in America [psmag.com]
For Kristen R. Ghodsee, it was the moment she caught a glimpse of herself in the bathroom mirror between two stages of a job interview, bent under the hand dryer at an awkward angle that allowed her to pump breast milk frantically while drying leakage from her jacket. For Amy Westervelt, it was waddling to the mailbox to collect a check, two weeks after the birth of her child, while congratulating herself on "emailing from the recovery room" to make "a big deadline 48 hours after delivery.
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How Trauma Therapy Cultivated My Recovery
I was 5 years old when I had my first encounter with trauma. Too young to comprehend the magnitude of the situation, my first grade class participated in a “Good Touch/Bad Touch” workshop,centered around educating and recognizing signs of sexual abuse. I found relief in finding a safe place to lay down the burden I had been carrying. I went straight to the school counselor and told her, in vivid description, the intimate details of my unwarranted molestation. I remember the grueling...
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'I am not okay': The remarkable response to the Charlie Rose allegations, from his CBS colleagues
This afternoon, Charlie Rose was fired from PBS and CBS. This morning, G ayle King and Norah O'Donnell, who anchor with Charlie Rose, reported on this national story. Here's an excerpt from an article by J. Freedom du Lac , Amy B Wang and Marwa Eltagouri which discusses this video clip. I'm okay and not okay. How are you? Are you talking about this with your kids, friends, partner, co-workers? I've been asked how I'm handling all the news reports of sexual harassment, assault and abuse being...
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I’m not cured, but I am healing
I wanted every individual suffering from chronic illnesses to understand the emerging science on not only how early adversity can lead to adult chronic illness, but how we can heal.
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Improve Birth and Perinatal Outcomes with a Trauma Sensitive Approach
The Association for Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health is excited to bring together 10 talented practitioners to explore the Trauma Informed Practices that help improve birth outcomes and support human development right from the very start. The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (1998) launched the importance of trauma and trauma informed care in our health and educational systems. We suddenly had a measure of how early experiences in childhood could correlate with adult disease.
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In Photos: A Mother Adjusts to Parenting After Prison [YesMagazine.org]
When Kendra Wright was incarcerated for drug-related offenses at Oregon’s only women’s prison, her then-6-year-old daughter, Selene, was placed in the care of Wright’s grandparents. Prohibited from speaking to Selene, Wright cherished what little contact she had: Wright’s grandmother would call her while Selene was in the same room. “It was the only way I could hear her little voice,” Wright said. But in 2013, Wright was accepted to the Family Preservation Project, an initiative then run by...
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Interview: Trauma-Informed Care with Transition-Age Youth [psychologytoday.com]
Last month, an article titled “The Tragedy of Baltimore” in the New York Times Magazine described the upsurge in violence in a city long known for its “blight, suburban flight, segregation, drugs , racial inequality, [and] concentrated poverty.” At the center of the storm are transition-age youth, who too often face long odds and challenging futures in the communities where they live. I recently had the opportunity to talk with Patricia Cobb-Richardson , MS. For the past 20 years, she has...
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Intimate Partner Abuse Can Lead To Depression, Suicidal Thoughts In Old Age (scienceblog.com)
“Protective Factors Against Suicidal Ideation among Community-Dwelling Older Adults with Experience of Spousal Physical Abuse: Focusing on Direct and Indirect Protections” was published online in July in the journal Aging and Mental Health . One in three women and one in four men experience some form of physical violence at the hands of an intimate partner, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. “This study revealed that older adults with experiences of spouse/partner...
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Intimate Partner Violence Screening and Intervention: The American College of Preventive Medicine Position Statement (Abstract) [sciencedirect.com]
By Tanya M. Phares, Kevin Sherin, Suzanne Leonard Harrison, et al., American Journal of Preventive Medicine, December 2019 The purpose of this paper is to produce a position statement on intimate partner violence (IPV), a major sociomedical problem with recently updated evidence, systematic reviews, and U.S. Preventive Services Task Force guidelines. This position statement is a nonsystematic, rapid literature review on IPV incidence and prevalence, health consequences, diagnosis and...
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Is Sexism an ACE?
Many of us have experienced sexual assault and/or abuse. The idea that our children could experience the same is terrifying to the point of being paralyzing. Even if our daughters have an ACE score of 0 they will not escape sexism. The upside of so much media coverage about sexual assault, harassment and sexism is that it gives us the opportunity to talk to our kids with a tiny bit of distance. What I mean, is that we can have conversations that are more topical and general, because we are...
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Keene event focuses on childhood trauma (www.sentinelsource.com)
Excerpts from article in today's Keene Sentine l by Jessica Ricard.
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When the trauma of a difficult birth leaves mothers devastated, alone (centerforhealthjournalism.org)
While there has been extensive media coverage looking at the health risks faced by mothers before and after they gave birth, as well as the heavy toll of postpartum depression. But less remarked is the emotional trauma and devastation that mothers can face from a difficult labor and delivery. These kinds of birth-related traumas may be far more common than realized: 18 percent of mothers report experiencing post-traumatic symptoms from childbirth, according to one estimate from the 2008...
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When Will the Internet Be Safe for Women (Atlantic.com)
*Note: I'm posting this to the Parenting with ACEs site because so many of us have daughters who face this and the responses, often, by authorities are so poor. While some of us may not want or need to be on social media in our personal or professional lives, many choose to be and/or need to be and should be able to exercise the right with safety. This is another cyber safety issue but not one addressed early or often enough. At minimum this can help better educate all of us so we can better...
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Why America’s Black Mothers and Babies Are in a Life-or-Death Crisis
Excerpt from the New York Times Magazine. Full article here . "The reasons for the black-white divide in both infant and maternal mortality have been debated by researchers and doctors for more than two decades. But recently there has been growing acceptance of what has largely been, for the medical establishment, a shocking idea: For black women in America, an inescapable atmosphere of societal and systemic racism can create a kind of toxic physiological stress, resulting in conditions —...
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Why Aren't We Talking About Postpartum Mood Disorders in Immigrant Women [PMag.com]
About six weeks after she gave birth to her first son, Jaya, an immigrant from India to the United States, began to suffer feelings of inadequacy as a mother. She felt sad, helpless, useless to her newborn and husband. She imagined her death and described it to her mother over long-distance calls. "I told her that I felt reckless," she says. "I didn't feel the need to be careful about myself and my safety." Jaya (not her real name) began to cross busy intersections with less caution, hoping...
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Why Girls Who Face Toxic Stress are More Vulnerable to Adult Illness: The Shocking Relationship Between Being Female, #ACEs, Autoimmune Disease and Depression
This blog is about WHY Adverse Childhood Experiences are a #METOO ISSUE. I want to talk about how and why toxic childhood stress – also as #ACEs — is a #metoo issue of the greatest magnitude. For girls and for the adult women they become. One thing readers know about the work I do and the books I write, including Childhood Disrupted , The Autoimmune Epidemic , and The Last Best Cure , is that I focus on the intersection of neuroscience, immunology and emotion – while shining a spotlight on...
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Why I’m Writing a Book About the Most Important Problem Facing Men and Their Families To [GoodMenProject.com] & Chat Reminder
Cissy's Note: The next chat is next Tuesday. The topic is Fathers & ACEs and it will be held live, here, at 10 AM PST/ 1 PM EST. Here's the link to the chat event. I’ve been writing books that help men and the families who love them since my first book, Inside Out: Becoming My Own Man, was published in 1983. Getting books published that focus on men is never easy. The perception in the publishing world continues to be that men don’t read books about men’s issues (unless it’s a sports...
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Women and men military veterans, childhood adversity and alcohol and drug use [medicalxpress.com]
Results of a national study led by public health scientist Elizabeth Evans at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, with others at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) and the University of California, Los Angeles, suggest that risk for alcohol and drug use disorders among United States military veterans is increased by childhood adversity, and in ways that are different between women and men and different compared to the civilian population. Evans, an assistant professor of...
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Women Giving Birth in Low-Income Countries Often Endure Abuse [reuters.com]
By Linda Carroll, Reuters, October 22, 2019 Women are often mistreated during labor and delivery at hospitals in low-income countries, a new study suggests. During in-person observations of births at urban hospitals in Ghana, Guinea and Nigeria, researchers found that more than 40 percent of women experienced physical or verbal abuse, stigmatization or discrimination related to race or ethnicity, according to a report in The Lancet. Surveys of women who had recently given birth in those...
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Women Surround Crying Mom Whose Toddler Was Having A Meltdown At The Airport (sunnyskyz.com)
This wonderful story was posted on Facebook by Beth Bornstein Dunnington who took part in an unforgettable moment at the Los Angeles International Airport. "Something extraordinary at LAX today... (writing this on the plane). I was at the gate, waiting to get on my plane to Portland. Flights to two different cities were boarding on either side of the Portland fight. A toddler who looked to be eighteen or so months old was having a total meltdown, running between the seats, kicking and...
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Women Who Were Sexually Abused as Children: Mothering, Resilience, and Protecting the Next Generation by Teresa Gil
I've just learned that ACEs Connection member, Teresa Gil , has written a book of interest to those of us who care about Parenting with ACEs. The title is Women Who Were Sexually Abused as Children: Mothering, Resilience, and Protecting the Next Generation . Here's an excerpt about the book. Here's a link to the book with more information about the book, author, and a few reviews. I just ordered my own copy and will share more after I've read the book. Please comment or post about other...
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Women With Past Adverse Childhood Experiences More Likely To Have Ovaries Removed, Study Shows [HuffingtonPost.com]
Mayo Clinic researchers report that women who suffered adverse childhood experiences or abuse as an adult are 62 percent more likely to have their ovaries removed before age 46. These removals are for reasons other than the presence of ovarian cancer or a high genetic risk of developing cancer, says the new study published today in BMJ Open. In previous studies examining the effects of removing the ovaries of younger women, the research team has demonstrated a myriad of health risks...
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Young Parents Speak Out: Barriers, Bias, and Broken Systems [aecf.org]
By National Crittenton and Katcher Consulting, Annie E. Casey Foundation, March 2020 Founded in 1883 as a social justice advocacy organization, National Crittenton has been dedicated to the needs and potential of girls, young women and women facing violence, poverty and injustice across the country for more than a century. Additionally, National Crittenton convenes the 26 Yet, systems have turned a blind eye to the ways in which the “safety net” designed for adults is a “trap” for young...
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New ACEs data on Kidsdata.org
On behalf of California Essentials for Childhood, I am very excited to announce the release of a new Child Adversity and Resilience data topic on Kidsdata.org! This has been a collaborative effort between the CA Essentials for Childhood Initiative's Shared Data and Outcomes Work Group and the Lucile Packard Foundation for Children’s Health. I represent ACEs Connection Network on Essentials and am the co-chair of the Shared Data & Outcomes Work Group so I couldn't be more thrilled about...
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New Guidelines Establish The Rights Of Women When Giving Birth [npr.org]
For more than 60 years, it has been the standard of care to try to speed up childbirth with drugs, or to perform a cesarean section if labor was seen as progressing too slowly. Now a new set of recommendations is changing the game. In February, the World Health Organization released a set of 56 recommendations in a report called Intrapartum Care for a Positive Childbirth Experience . One key recommendation is to allow a slow labor to continue without trying to hurry the birth along with...
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New method opens up the possibility of customizing breast milk for premature children (www.sciencedaily.com)
About 7 percent of all Danish children are born prematurely. This is of significant importance not only to the child's development, but it also affects the mother's body that -- unexpectedly -- has to produce the necessary nutrition for the newborn baby. Research has previously demonstrated that breast milk from women who give birth prematurely is different from breast milk from women who give birth to full-term babies. The examinations focused on the milk's content of macro nutrients such...
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New Peer Support Group Successes and Challenges
I started a weekly peer support group for women survivors of trauma in April 2018. It took a few weeks to get any uptake on the offer. In the beginning a few people who knew me trickled in to provide some encouragement. Some people working at the center that eventually agreed to give me access to a room to host the event, told me that if people got the sense that I was in it for the long haul, they would then start taking me up on my offer. I was determined to persist, so I stuck it out even...