Tagged With "Fighting the Big Virus"
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Sesame Street Resources for Families Coping After Natural Disasters
In the aftermath of recent hurricanes and wildfires, the Sesame Street in Communities team wanted to reach out to provide information on our available resources to help families cope in the aftermath of natural disasters, and other traumatic experiences. Bilingual videos, articles, printables and more, are all available for free on our website at www.sesamestreetincommunities.org . Here are the links to a few topic pages that may be most useful to you as you work with families in the...
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Sesame Street Resources for Families Coping After Natural Disasters
In the aftermath of recent hurricanes and wildfires, the Sesame Street in Communities team wanted to reach out to provide information on our available resources to help families cope in the aftermath of natural disasters, and other traumatic experiences. Bilingual videos, articles, printables and more, are all available for free on our website at www.sesamestreetincommunities.org . Here are the links to a few topic pages that may be most useful to you as you work with families in the...
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Sesame Workshop and BTC Team Up to Help with Big Scary Feelings during the COVID-19 Crisis
Caring for Each Other: How to Use Sesame Street in Communities Resources for Health Emergencies with Families Now Wednesday, April 1, 2020 @ 3 PM ET We're all in this together, and that's why we're all coming together. Sesame Workshop and the Brazelton Touchpoints Center are partnering on a webinar series, beginning April 1st, to share online resources that can help us handle the sudden changes in our lives when we face health emergencies like the one that confronts us today. As a result of...
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Launching or growing an ACEs initiative? We’ve got an app (& tools & guidelines) for that!!
Of the tens of thousands of communities across the U.S. (cities, counties, regions and states), we think a few hundred have launched ACEs initiatives so far. Two common obstacles that initiatives run up against are: What do we do once we all agree that everyone should know about ACEs science ? And, how do we measure our progress? Today we’re officially rolling out new guidelines, tools — and an app! — for that! Growing Resilient Communities 2.0 answers question #1. If the initiative’s goal...
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Lifebooks & Some Tips for Social Workers & Parents (www.adoptionlifebooks.com)
Beth O'Malley is a social worker who was in foster care as a child. She worked, for decades, at the Department for Children and Families (formerly called DSS). She is also a mother. Her child was adopted as well. She has a wide range of personal and professional perspectives. It's from her I learned about the importance of Lifebooks which can be made with and for toddlers, grade schoolers, and even teens. They are practical because they may be the one place a child can have to store names...
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How Magic Hugs & Author Donna Jackson Nakazawa Make ACEs Science Useful to Parents
Donna Jackson Nakazawa is a well-known writer and author. Her book, Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology is a go-to guide for lots of us and makes her a frequent guest on podcasts. Last week I heard Allison Morris interview her during her Healing Our Children World Summit . Morris, a self-described "trauma mama" and "single adoptive mother of a child with early developmental trauma, attachment issues, and some physical disabilities" who gathers information and...
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Mentored Boys or Monster Boys: The Two Choices for Our Future
I wrote recently about my preparations to take my 15 year-old grandson, Deon, for a four day, young men’s rites of passage, retreat. It was truly an adventure of a life-time for both of us and want to share a bit about the experience with you (that’s me in the second row on the right with Deon beside me). I’ve long believed that mentoring is critical to the well-being of our children and grandchildren, particularly the young men. It’s also critical to the well-being of our communities. Many...
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Mom’s Reaction to Angry Son Shattering a Mirror Is the Parenting Lesson We ALL Need Today (faithit.com)
It took my breath away when my son stormed into the bathroom, frustrated, angry, fed-up for his very own, very significant to him, reasons. And when he chose to SLAM the bathroom door, causing the heavy mirror mounted to the front to slip out of the hardware holding it in place and crash onto the floor — a million, BROKEN pieces were left reflecting the afternoon light. I was quiet. I surveyed the damage and took a deep breath. Put the dog outside so he wouldn’t cut his feet, put the cat in...
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Most kids on public coverage have parents who work for big companies, new study finds [centerforhealthjournalism.org]
By Giles Bruce, Center for Health Journalism, July 3, 2019. The conventional wisdom is that kids are on government health insurance because their parents are unemployed or work at small businesses with meager benefits. A study released this week debunks that theory. Research from the PolicyLab at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia found that the majority of children insured through Medicaid or the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) — more than 70% — have a parent employed by a large...
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Mother's Day Can Be Hard: Chasing the Blues
The world has changed in many good ways. All over my newsfeed yesterday and today are posts about aching, loss, grief and divorcing from parents. Mother's Day, Father's Day and other holidays can be hard. At least that loss isn't experienced only in silence now. This year, I've seen many posts more complex than greeting cards. That wasn't always so. I'm not here to tell anyone about how Mother's Day should or might feel and if anger or forgiveness is good or bad, toxic or healthy or what...
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Mother's Day Musings
"Was in the Mother's Day card aisle tonight," my good friend texted me, "there's still a big opportunity in that aisle for us to make some money... that's all I'll say about that." Her mother is an addict she hasn't seen, except for court appearances, in years. She knows my father was a homeless alcoholic. She showed up with a bag of lollipops and a hug when I got confirmation that he was dead and had died more than a year prior. There was no card for that or for her version of Mother's Day.
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Mr. Rogers, Trauma-Informed Care, and the Limits of Information
Fred Rogers, in his 1969 testimony before the Senate subcommittee on communications in defense of public television, transforms a clearly skeptical Senator Pastore from, "Alright Rogers you've got the floor" to, "Looks like you just earned the 20 million dollars." How does he accomplish this transformation? One line from Senator Pastore gives us some insight. Several minutes into Mr. Rogers testimony he says, "This is the first time I've had goosebumps in the last two days," to which Rogers...
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The Developing Brain & Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Thanks to an explosion in scientific research now possible with imaging technologies, such as fMRI and SPECT, experts can actually see how the brain develops. This helps explain why exposure to adverse childhood experiences can so deeply influence and change a child's brain and thus their physical and emotional health and quality of life across their lifetime. The above time-lapse study was conducted over 10 years. The darker colors represent brain maturity (brain development). I have added...
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The Emptiness You Feel is Trying to Tell You Something
I read a short story last week that was about emptiness and love. That funny thing that happens sometimes, happened, and three different people wrote to me within about 24 hours about… emptiness and love. They were feeling -- and I think a lot of us are feeling it -- a harsh, empty, loveless feeling that keeps swooping into their consciousness during this quarantined period, sounding the alarm that something HUGE is missing from our lives. One woman even said “I know you’ll think I’m crazy...
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The "F" Words: Fear & Forgiveness
“If your parent is the bear in the living room, it is biologically impossible to run to that parent when they are either over or under reacting. If your parent is scary you can’t run to them. And you also can’t run away from them because you are a child, you can’t function in the world on your own. You can’t make it out there." Donna Jackson Nakazawa We can get so lost in theory, data and facts that our language about trauma, abuse and adverse childhood experiences can become clinical and...
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The Hello It’s Me Project comes to Pittsfield: Dr. Claudia Gold at the helm of initiative to create healthy bonds between parents and infants (www./theberkshireedge.com)
Cissy's note: I am a huge fan of the way @Claudia Gold works with those of us Parenting with ACEs . The first time I read her writing I relaxed. She was speaking with and for parents not about or at us. Unfortunately, her approach is rare. Fortunately, she just launched a new project she's been dreaming of for years. I love the way she supports all families and how she centers the role of all parents in the lives of all children - especially those - not all except those...
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The Holidays Can Be Hard
The holidays can be hard for many of us parenting with ACEs. This time last year I found out my estranged father died. It was such a relief. For months, I kept thinking, "I love having a dead Dad." And I know it's not a thought most people have had. But for my whole life I carried my father's life like a question I could not answer. Even though I had not seen him regularly, for decades, I never stopped wondering about his life, his absence and his own childhood. We never stop being related...
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The Importance of Positive Emotional Communication Starting From Infancy
“Why do some children become sad, withdrawn, insecure, or angry, whereas others become happy, curious, affectionate, and self-confident?” It has something to do with emotions and emotional communication.
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The many faces — and aspirations — of all of us at ACEs Connection
All of us at ACEs Connection have experienced ACEs during our childhoods, either in our own families or vicariously through friends; some of us accumulated pretty high ACE scores, with not enough resilience factors, and we’ve suffered the consequences. That history propels us up and out of bed every single morning to grow this network of amazing people (that’s you!) to reach even more people so that kids don’t have to repeat what we went through. We want more of our taxes to go to such...
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The Problem with ACEs Implementation
The Adverse Childhood Experiences study was ground-breaking in its recognition that childhood trauma impacts individuals across their lifespan. This was the big take-away, that adults are living with unrecognized and thus untreated physical, mental and emotional consequences that have massive detrimental impacts on their quality (and quantity) of life. And yet, when we see the research and programming that has been implemented following the ACE study, the consensus seems to be that the...
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The suicide rate for kids ages 10-14 nearly tripled in the past decade. Why? And what can we do? (upworthy.com)
According to the CDC , the number of 10 to 14 year-olds who took their own lives nearly tripled from 2007 to 2017. In the U.S., suicide is the second leading cause of death among children and adolescents ages 10-24, and the third leading cause of death among 12-year-olds. In at least one state, Ohio, suicide has become the leading cause of death for kids ages 10 to 14. It seems unfathomable that so many kids so young could want to end their own lives, much less actually do so, but that's the...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter February 2020
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php or http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-02-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_February_2020.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael. Newsletter Contents : 1] This coat design isn't just saving lives. It's launching new careers for homeless people – CNN...
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The Taboo of Being a Human Pacifier [TheAtlantic.com]
...According to James J. McKenna, a professor of anthropology and the director of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Lab at the University of Notre Dame, it’s a common idea in Western parenting that parents should restrict their infants’ feeding behaviors. This idea has little to do with babies’ biological well-being, he says; rather, it developed as a safeguard against raising spoiled children whose parents schedule around their whims. The argument stems in part from the 1928 book...
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How to Connect with a Child After Trauma
Are you struggling to help a child who has been through hard times? Does the child seem unreachable, unmanageable, and unwilling to try? Are you at your at the end of your rope with explosive behavior? If so, I have a concept to share with you that might help the two of you connect and increase positive interactions within your family or classroom. I want to start by saying that it can be incredibly frustrating and anxiety-provoking to witness a child who is suffering emotionally without the...
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How to Help Kids Grieve When Adult Relationships End (kqed.org)
As a psychotherapist, I’m no stranger to grief—adult grief, that is. I know what it’s like to sit with adults who are reeling from the loss of a parent or child or partner or best friend. But I knew from my training that just as depression often looks different in children, so does loss. I didn’t have my therapist hat on when my son went through his grief—I was just his mom, muddling through it alongside him. But I did know to look out for certain signs that he might be suffering: being...
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How to Make Motherhood Easier in America [psmag.com]
For Kristen R. Ghodsee, it was the moment she caught a glimpse of herself in the bathroom mirror between two stages of a job interview, bent under the hand dryer at an awkward angle that allowed her to pump breast milk frantically while drying leakage from her jacket. For Amy Westervelt, it was waddling to the mailbox to collect a check, two weeks after the birth of her child, while congratulating herself on "emailing from the recovery room" to make "a big deadline 48 hours after delivery.
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How to Support Someone (Like Me!) Who Has Experienced Trauma
This blog post and infographic is dedicated to the wonderful man (too shy to want to be named) who has had the patience and sheer tenacity to stick around for six years while we have figured out what I needed as a trauma survivor to be able to tolerate a relationship with a romantic partner. (And for him to tolerate me!) If you didn't have a safe, stable nurturing relationship with your primary caregiver as a child, you need and yearn for that kind of connection as you go through life. And...
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Immune Biomarkers of Early-Life Adversity and Exposure to Stress and Violence - Searching Outside the Streetlight [jamanetwork.com]
By Nicole R. Bush and Kirstin Aschbacher, JAMA Pediatrics, November 4, 2019 Evidence of an association between early-life adversity and heightened risk of chronic disease in adulthood has been found, but the optimal biomarkers for identifying vulnerable or resilient individuals remain unclear. Global trends, including widening socioeconomic disparities, the refugee crises, and climate change, increasingly sculpt trauma exposure and call for scalable early-risk identification and treatment...
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Inheriting and Inventing Fatherhood (onbeing.org)
The kind of father you become can be heavily influenced notions you don’t even know you have the day your child is born. For better or worse, it’s impossible to enter life as a parent unaffected by the framework and culture of your upbringing. It’s your starting point. I was exposed as a young boy to many different models of fatherhood from various sources on TV, at the movies, in my family, and around the neighborhood: the quiet, aloof dad who comes home from work and is left alone to sit...
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Introducing the Full Potential Parenting Podcast!
I'm excited to announce that The Full Potential Parenting Podcast is here! This podcast features short (6-12 min.) segments with stress release techniques that work, offers book reviews of books that have been transformational, informative, or inspiring, introduces concepts critical to any parent of a child who is experiencing big (and confusing) emotions and behaviors, and provides insights about non-pharma approaches to healing. The first few episodes are now available on iTunes here:...
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Is Sexism an ACE?
Many of us have experienced sexual assault and/or abuse. The idea that our children could experience the same is terrifying to the point of being paralyzing. Even if our daughters have an ACE score of 0 they will not escape sexism. The upside of so much media coverage about sexual assault, harassment and sexism is that it gives us the opportunity to talk to our kids with a tiny bit of distance. What I mean, is that we can have conversations that are more topical and general, because we are...
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Is Your Teen Obsessed with Social Media? Here’s why that may be a very good thing.
By Sara Hare Published: July 25, 2014 When it comes to kids and social media, most of the discussion to date has been directed by parents looking for ways to stop the equivalent of a runaway train. “How do I set limits?” “What...
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When Your Kid is Too Good for Brené Brown
Childhood, like literature, lasts." Lance Woolaver, paraphrased from his book, Maud Lewis: The Heart at the Door. Even in the midst of conflict, I have known moments of maternal bliss. I had one just recently when my daughter and I hit a snag. It wasn't one of the ugly, awful or prolonged kinds. That's not due to me though. That's mostly because my kid has a practical, logical and rational nature which does not clash with my more emotional, reactive and fearful one. We are alike enough to...
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Why Focus on Resilience? 2019 BPT Conference Big Idea Session with Teri Barila
“There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in” -Desmond Tutu. This quote captures the essence of why resilience matters. To Community Resilience Initiative, Resilience is not about “lifting yourself up by your bootstraps” or “bouncing back” from serious harm or injury. To us, Resilience is about self-discovery and self-awareness based on what the ACE Study, neurobiology, and epigenetics tell us...
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Why I Put my Drug-Affected Daughter Back on Drugs (www.brainchildmag.com)
Note: This essay is written by Melissa Hart. She is a parent with ACEs parenting a child with ACEs. I look around at the life we’ve created for her—the bedroom full of books and dress-up clothes and musical instruments, the photos on the wall of our family vacations to tropical beaches and wildflower mountains and national parks. I fight an urge to shake her little shoulders and stare into her big brown hostile eyes and yell, “Why can’t you just be happy?” But I don’t . . . because I know...
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Why Jeannie Can’t Tell Time (www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/)
Wonderful piece of writing on the ATN blog. It's by Janyne McConnaughey, Ph.D. Here's an excerpt: Staring at the analog clock in my therapist’s office, I wondered which hand was the big hand and struggled with my need not to go over my time. “I can’t read the clock,” I said. It was awkward because I was 62, but I really wasn’t. This awkward therapy moment is brought to you by my dissociative disorder. It was a watershed moment in understanding one possible reason for uneven learning in the...
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Why Mandating Mental Health Education in Schools is a Band-Aid on a Gaping Wound
Don’t get me wrong: of course I care deeply about the mental and physical health of children, including my own son’s. I don’t want students to suffer in silence and shame. But I am very concerned about just how this topic will be taught in schools.
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Why We Suck (at Self-Soothing & Self-Care): Dr. Dawn O'Malley
Without yoga and coffee, I'm kind of a jerk. These are my personal "puppy uppers and doggie downers" and prevent me from being cranky, quick to cry, and ready for conflict. Coffee and calming make life more manageable. Humans even seem tolerable. Without them I might veer into hating humans for being so needy which is not a great trait for a parent, partner or a professional. Or a self. My partner says coffee and exercise are acts of kindness, service as promote public safety. In other...
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World Premiere: Stress & Resilience: How Toxic Stress Affects Us, and What We Can Do About It [developingchild.harvard.edu]
By Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University, November 13, 2019 When the stress in your life just doesn’t let up, and it feels like you have no support to get through the day—let alone do everything you need to do to be the best parent you can be—it can seem like there’s nothing that can make it better. But there are resources that can help, and this kind of stress—known as “toxic stress”—doesn’t have to define your life. In this video, learn more about what toxic stress is, how it...
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Writing to Heal, Yoga to Feel & Survivor-Led Resources Online
I love yoga and writing. I need yoga and writing. Both are relatively affordable and can be done alone and at home or in community. Both have been central to my survival, recovery and growth which I write about below. I also love sharing and supporting survivor-led resources created for survivors and others. Here are two links to those if you want to get to those right away. There are more details about each following the essay: Write Your Story, Heal Your Life Summit: Alaura O'Dell...
Ask the Community
Being present was the most exhausting part of parenting
I used to sneak away for a hot bath as often as possible when my daughter was in the need-me-every-minute years. I'd soak long past when the water went cold and I felt guilty at times but sometimes I needed to be alone. To read poetry. To have some physical space. To exhale. I didn't always know where or how to pamper or self-care myself. There were few adults I trusted. I believed in attachment-style parenting and wanted to be there all of the time. And that even made me feel guilty when I...
Ask the Community
Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
Let's create a list of resources useful for parenting ourselves and children. These can be books about child development or self-help books or a work of fiction that had important wisdom. If there's a title that's helped you or someone you know, love or work with as it relates to parenting, please share. For me, my absolute favorite is this: There's Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber This book is not about parenting. It's not about how-to parent I should say but it...
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New Toolkit Issued to Help Providers Measure Trauma With ACES Survey [youthtoday.org]
A new toolkit is out that aims to help services providers give a survey about traumatic childhood experiences that are linked to negative effects on health and well-being. The toolkit, developed by The National Crittenton Foundation , offers recommendations about the Adverse Childhood Experiences survey, including how to talk to children and parents about the survey, track results and use the data for public education and policy advocacy. The toolkit also includes a sample protocol, case...
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Now What? No really.... & New ACEs Connection Community in NH!
Dear Monadnock Thrives & ACEs Community, Every time I share ACEs information with people, it's so easy. People easily understand the science behind all of it - what happens to the brain of an abused or neglected or traumatized child is so logical and makes so much sense. But, I feel like we always step into this void of - okay... now what? And the now what seems so much less clear and so big and wide open. Becuase the solutions are individualized and will hardly have real impact without...
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Parenting: A Cultural Perspective from Dr. Darcia Narvaez and Others
My first foray into the world of social services led me to become involved with what I thought was an under-appreciated aspect of parenting: the role of a father and the problems caused by an absent father. I drew from my own experience growing up. My parents first separated when I was about four-and-a-half years old. There were four children in our family. The youngest was only about six months old when the separation happened. My parents reconciled long enough for a fifth child to be...
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Parenting during a Pandemic: Donna Jackson Nakazawa Shares
Donna Jackson Nakazawa was a featured guest in an online conversation about coping with COVID held on Twitter recently. It was hosted by KPJR Films . Donna was asked about "effective 'go-to' survival techniques" for parents and her Twitter thread response is comforting, centering, and compassionate. Her words are consolidated and shared, with her permission, below: Donna Jackson Nakazawa is a science journalist and the author of six books, including “ The Angel and the Assassin: The Tiny...
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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
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Parents: Put your own oxygen mask on first [Centerforyouthwellness.org]
We all need support, no matter who we are. As a pediatrician, CEO and a mom, I am constantly juggling priorities, schedules and child care. Some days are just plain hard and I’ve learned that the only way to get through the tough days and weeks is to practice self care. Self care is about how we can be our best selves in order to be of support to those around us. For children to lead healthier lives, they need a healthy adult who can act as an emotional buffer to...