Tagged With "Kathleen Friend"
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CA pediatrician develops, tests, gets state OK for whole-child assessment tool that includes ACEs
Over the last dozen years or so, many pediatricians, astounded by the ramifications of the science of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) on the children they care for, began integrating this science into their practices. The most common approach has been to ask parents about ACEs using a questionnaire, and to use this information to counsel parents and identify resources for the family. Different practices have been using different questionnaires: Some ask parents for their ACE scores...
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CA pediatrician develops, tests, gets state OK for whole-child assessment tool that includes ACEs
[Editor's note: This blog was first posted in April 2017. Dr. Marie-Mitchell updated the assessment by modifying a few of the questions, so we are republishing with the new assessment, one in Spanish and one in English.] Over the last dozen years or so, many pediatricians, astounded by the ramifications of the science of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) on the children they care for, began integrating this science into their practices. The most common approach has been to ask parents...
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Cancer as a survivor
Many people use the phrase CPTSD to stand for PTSD from complex trauma. To me, C-PTSD means cancer and PTSD. I have cancer and I’m a trauma survivor. I’m a survivor with cancer but not yet a cancer survivor. Will I be a survivor squared?
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Cannitta’s Story: Surviving, Not Living (www.lsnj.org)
I just saw this video and comment on my friend Heidi's Facebook page and it made me teary. Here's the video: Here's Heidi's comment: I hope she does because she's been a mom at 16 who is poor and has an ACE score of 9 and who has had to fight to become and to feel safe. We need people like Heidi running programs and organizing support because getting it, having lived it makes one know things those who haven't don't.
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Children & Families COVID19 Resilience Brief 5: Music For Healing
Click on the pdf link for the full child-friendly article.
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Medications for PTSD Tied to Increase Dementia Risk & Commentary / www.mentalhealthexcellence.org
Note: I just saw this article , and it's one alarming and depressing read and super relevant read. Lots of us take these medications and/or have kids, parents, and partners who do as well. Did you know about the increased risk for dementia associated with them? I didn't. To evaluate possible effects, the investigators turned to a nationwide sample of 417,172 US veterans aged 56 years or older who had not been diagnosed with dementia or mild cognitive impairment at baseline in 2003 and for...
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Coronavirus Sanity Guide (FREE) (www.tenpercent.com)
My friend Lynn keeps sharing this guide on social media. While most of us are sharing news, and maybe panic, she is inviting her loved ones to find a bit of calm and comfort online. She said she likes the content and the app so I checked it out and there are free resources such as guided meditations, pre-recorded talks, and a daily live podcast at 3 p.m. EST. For the healthcare workers who are really stretched and stressed, there's free access to the 10% happier app. Here's an excerpt from...
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Divorce During Christmas
My home was flooded just weeks before my divorce was final. The ocean spilled over the sea wall and headed down the street carrying telephone poles, patio furniture and boat parts. It was 2 a.m. and I was in my bedroom with the cat as my daughter was with her father on one of her first overnights. I was knee deep in despair. And fear. The ocean pooled around my stairs, foundations and car. Outside, the flood would take my blue Subaru, dog fence and air conditioner. Inside, it was thr heating...
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Dr. Claudia Gold: Empathy & Listening as ACE-Informed Practice
"You are absolutely not doomed from having ACEs."
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Dr. Gabor Maté & Full-Potential Parenting, Even When It Is Hard
Note: Allison Morris had dozens of experts in her summit series through Full-Potential Parenting. I took notes only on those by Donna Jackson Nakazawa , Gabe Maté and Sebern Fisher (coming later this month). Though the audios are no longer available, for free, they can be purchased for $100. or less (depending on the year), here. Forgive me for sounding like an advertisement, I don't know Allison personally. I am a huge fan of all parent-led resources and wish I discovered this series...
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Each Mind Matters: Raising Awareness For Men's Mental Health
“Don't Drive Like My Brother!” Sound familiar? “Car Talk” is the highly popular, long-running radio show hosted by two brothers who dispense colorful advice to callers to help them solve their car problems. Imagine for a moment a similar show where men – and those who care about them – called in every Sunday morning to ask how to tune up their mental health, to keep their emotions from overheating, or their mind running smoothly? Traditionally, men are raised to be self-sufficient, tough,...
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Early childhood educators learn new ways to spot trauma triggers, build resilience in preschoolers
A hug may be comforting to many children, but for a child who has experienced trauma it may not feel safe.
That’s an example used by Julie Kurtz, co-director of trauma informed practices in early childhood education at the WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies (CCFS), as she begins a trauma training session. Her audience, preschool teachers and staff of the San Francisco-based Wu Yee Children’s Services at San Francisco’s Women’s Building, listen attentively.
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Re: Parenting: A Cultural Perspective from Dr. Darcia Narvaez and Others
Hello! I am writing to share a wonderful new resource from the Vital Village Network’s friend and partner, Charles C. Daniels, Jr. Charles is the Founder and CEO of Fathers’ Uplift, which works to assist fathers in overcoming barriers (financial barriers, addiction barriers, oppressive barriers, emotional barriers and traumatic barriers) that prevent them from remaining engaged in their children’s lives. Charles’s book “Pre-Father Care: Prenatal Care for Fathers” is now available for...
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Re: 2 Interviews with Dr. Bruce Perry
I just love this gem I remember as a teen in order to escape from my chaotic home, I'd go to spend weekends at my friend's place. Her parents were always accepting, never asking too many questions - her mother would make me something to eat which psychologically was hugely healing, while her dad would be silently around tolerating our teen antics. We'd stay up late at night, giggling and her mom would come around admonishing us to sleep. Having their home to go to is what saved me from...
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Re: 13 Reasons Why & Talking Points for Families (www.sscps.org - Counseling Department)
This is great, Cissy - thank you. I think conversations around ACEs - what they are and how they can change a brain in a manner that conscious, discerning, reasoned thought (which often is not even developed) is overridden by the stress response and thus leaves a teen without the tool it needs to "think" and know suicide is not the answer - could be a huge help. If teens understand ACEs, then a close friend may know what their friend's home life is like and realize that friend has...
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Re: How parents cause children's friendships to end [sciencedaily.com]
I love that someone is addressing this issue, which was a big one for me. I remember a time, in fifth grade, a friend came over (uninvited by me--I knew better than that) and, not being used to the screaming and yelling that was par for the course in my home, she ended up locking herself in the bathroom, crying hysterically and begging to go home. It didn't bode well for my budding social life, as you can well imagine. I get a clenched stomach to this day thinking about it. Only good to come...
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Re: 13 Reasons Why & Talking Points for Families (www.sscps.org - Counseling Department)
Lisa: Thank you! I'm so grateful you are part of this community and doing this work and helping all of us do this work as well! You are right, awareness about ACEs can help, and that stats on high ACEs and death by suicide are SO important. Thanks for calling out the connection so clearly! And how talking, sharing and understanding can help! And the link! Cissy
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Re: How parents cause children's friendships to end [sciencedaily.com]
Jill: What a painful memory. Thank you for sharing. I feel for the kid you were and also for your childhood friend. This part of the study is also important: "A surprising finding from the study that was contrary to the researchers' expectations was that they did not find any evidence that positive parenting behaviors like warmth and affection altered the stability of children's best friendships. "We were hoping that positive behaviors would help extend the life of friendships and that it...
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Re: Cannitta’s Story: Surviving, Not Living (www.lsnj.org)
Thank you for sharing this. I am not going to watch just before I go to sleep. I am so blessed to have that option. To not watch this video. So many people who “live” this video are not living. Chronic trauma is just breathing enough to stay alive. Never getting a full breath. I think that is part of the reason so many people in poverty have asthma. That and mold infested apartments. So I will watch this in the morning, so I can “sleep well.” And I will say prayers that this mom, and you and...
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Re: An unexpectedly beautiful view of fatherhood, from the bathroom floor (www.washingtonpost.com)
Hello! I am writing to share a wonderful new resource from the Vital Village Network’s friend and partner, Charles C. Daniels, Jr. Charles is the Founder and CEO of Fathers’ Uplift, which works to assist fathers in overcoming barriers (financial barriers, addiction barriers, oppressive barriers, emotional barriers and traumatic barriers) that prevent them from remaining engaged in their children’s lives. Charles’s book “Pre-Father Care: Prenatal Care for Fathers” is now available for...
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The Traumatic Impact of Racism on Young People and How to Talk About It [Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg]
Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg (Keynote speaker from the recent Creating a Resilient Community Conference) shared the excerpt from his book Reaching Teens titled The Traumatic Impact of Racism on Young People and How to Talk About It. This is a valuable resource for anyone interacting with youth and we are providing the excerpt as an attachment here for you to read and share. Also, Dr. Ginsburg will be coming back to our community (virtually) and you’ll be invited to his workshop. Look out for the...
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White Parents, It's Your Turn to Carry This Burden [newamerica.org]
By Autumn McDonald, New America, June 4, 2020 I date myself with a reference to Rodney King, and I do so intentionally. I was fourteen when he was brutally beaten by LAPD officers; I had no thoughts of kids, or how a parent protects them. But in households around the country, Black parents were having “ the Talk ” with their children— an intense, high-stakes training on the realities of racism— in the hopes of inoculating them against disproportionate police targeting and brutality. My...
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Reassessing our Priorities and Healing during the Pandemic: A Resource
Recently a friend reached out to say they finally got to read through the "Healing Program" on Wrestling Ghosts' Website and how helpful it was. It made me reflect on how the pandemic, like most crises in our lives, can open up the opportunity to reassess our priorities and refocus on our and our families' wellbeing. Healing childhood trauma starts with understanding the impact of toxic stress in childhood. That understanding lifts our shame and self-blame. Then comes visualizing what...
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Unbecoming an Armadillo: Recovering from Trauma with EMDR
Unbecoming an Armadillo By: Victoria F. Burns, PhD, LSW Victoriafrances49@gmail.com Instagram: @betesandbites “When you are traumatized, you are basically in a permanent defensive mode” — Gabor Mate I’m sitting across from Meg on her charcoal grey love seat. My forearms are resting on a velvety mustard-yellow throw cushion and I’m holding crescent shaped pulsers in each hand. Meg’s my psychologist; a rare gem who specializes in chronic illness and trauma. Every two weeks, we spend an hour...
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A Better Normal Community Discussion: Rebecca Lewis-Pankratz on Community, Poverty & Parenting with ACEs: Friday, July 17th at 3p.m. EST
Please join us this Friday, July 17th as we speak with @Rebecca Lewis-Pankratz for our next A Better Normal discussion at 3p.m. EST. This conversation, hosted by @Cissy White (ACEs Connection Staff) and moderated by @Alison Cebulla (ACEs Connection Staff) will be about building community, ending poverty, and and parenting with ACEs. Rebecca will share her personal story as well as her work with families, schools, and communities. Click here to register. About Rebecca's Lewis-Pankratz (in her...
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Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic: One-Pager
Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic: One-Pager
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Finding Footing on Shifting Sand
I’m struggling to write this blog entry- I’m too preoccupied with thinking about school starting. Instead of focusing on writing, my brain won’t stop running through scenarios given limited and changing facts and circumstances. School starts on August 17, but due to covid 19, Boise School District is delaying the start of “in-person” school and opting for children to attend virtually instead. I’m sure this was a smart move- I’m just as concerned about the health of our community’s children...
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A Listening Curriculum: School Radically Re-imagined in the Time of COVID-19
Symbolic of our quick-fix culture, I was recently asked to do a five-minute radio interview addressing the challenge of remote learning without the peer group dynamics of a regular classroom. The time constraint motivated me to get to the core of the education crisis precipitated by the coronavirus pandemic. Decades of developmental science research reveal that our physical and emotional health- our very sense of self- emerges in moment-to-moment interactions in our social world. The...
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Loving An Orchid: Understanding Child Abuse Trauma's Impact [psychologytoday.com]
By JoAnn Stevelos, Psychology Today, August 21, 2020 As a child, I was an orchid but lived like a dandelion. I have always prided myself on my resiliency, for surviving a long and painful childhood filled with abandonment, psychological, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse . Child abuse can do that to you—give you a false sense of self and what resiliency really looks like. Resiliency is not just surviving. This false narrative of resiliency can take years to undo. One approach is to try...
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With less money and more risk, waves of child-care providers call it quits [latimes.com]
By Rikha Sharma Rani, Los Angeles Times, August 22, 2020 Kirsten Hove and her mom have been taking care of kids in San Francisco for decades. Hove’s mother opened a day-care program in her home in the city’s Marina neighborhood more than 30 years ago. In 2006, Hove and a family friend expanded the business by opening sites in their apartments nearby. The days were long, but the women loved the work. What took years to build, however, was dismantled by the coronavirus in just a few months. [...
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How I Became a Champion for Trauma-Informed Change
I began riding the “trauma-informed care” wave three years prior to realizing I was part of something bigger than my own vision to bust open the conversation on trauma. When my life as a writer, editor, and advocate for parenting survivors of childhood abuse collided with my professional life as a mental health care manager, I knew the universe was trying to tell me something. Having long ago succumbed to the realization that everything really does happen for a reason, I started to see my...
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New Resource: Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic One-Pager (English & Spanish!)
English: The California Department of Public Health, Injury and Prevention Branch (CDPH/IVPB) and the California Department of Social Service, Office of Child Abuse Prevention’s (CDSS/OCAP) , Essentials for Childhood (EfC) Initiative , ACEs Connection , and the Yolo County Children’s Alliance have co-created a newly developed resource, “Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic” in both English and Spanish. This material is intended for Californian families experiencing the severe...
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New Resource: Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic One-Pager (English & Spanish!)
English: The California Department of Public Health, Injury and Prevention Branch (CDPH/IVPB) and the California Department of Social Service, Office of Child Abuse Prevention’s (CDSS/OCAP) , Essentials for Childhood (EfC) Initiative , ACEs Connection , and the Yolo County Children’s Alliance have co-created a newly developed resource, “Coping with Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic” in both English and Spanish. This material is intended for Californian families experiencing the severe...
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Parenting for Resilience by Kristin Beasley, PhD
Resilience, the ability to overcome adversity, is not an innate skill or genetic trait. Resilience is the ability to recover after adversity strike. None of us escape trauma, at some point in our lives, we will each face at least one overwhelming events that test our capacity to recover. Resilience is a quality that is develops from experiences where a person, even a baby, must deal with manageable stress and is supported enough to recover. It’s not a quality that you are born with, or...
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ACEs science transformed David Magallon’s life, now he’s a parent educator
Learning about ACEs science changed David Magallon’s life in a profound way — and now he’s made it part of his mission to share that knowledge with other parents who really need it. Since 2017, Magallon has served as a court referral programs manager at the Child Parent Institute (CPI) in Santa Rosa, California. The non-profit agency offers child therapy, parent education, and other resources for families throughout Sonoma County. Magallon works with families in a probation program mandated...
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Creating meaning in our choices as CPTSD survivors
There is a place that we get trapped in the choices that we make. I want to think that conflict happens when there is a collision of values between the person you were and the person you are becoming. In the moments of change in the healing process, we reach plateaus, not as in the end but as in a time to create a shift. When this happens, we are faced with making a choice: do we act according to the person we were or the person we have become and are moving in towards. We hit a wall in...
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Caring and Capable Kids: 51 songs playlist by Linda K. Williams
CARING AND CAPABLE KIDS 51 Songs with Resources for Social Emotional Learning Music Therapy and Developing Resilience Empathy Trauma-Informed Lens Caring and Capable Kids book INNERCHOICE Publishing https://www.innerchoicepublishing.com/book/caring-and-capable-kids/ A two-pager is attached with links, too.
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Humility Reflection for Teens (ggia.berkeley.edu)
Time Required This practice can be done at regular intervals when parents want to help their teens cultivate humility. It can take as little as 15 minutes or as long as 45 minutes. How to Do It Humility is about being able to see and accept your strengths and limitations without defensiveness or judgment, as well as being open-minded to other’s perspectives and to new information. This practice can help teens bolster their humility in that second sense—by orienting them toward others and...
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Goodbye from Cissy & Introducing the New Community Manager, Natalie Audage
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community: I'm transitioning out of my role as Community Manager of Parenting with ACEs due to health reasons. However, this community is stronger than ever and will be managed by the kind, warm, and smart @Natalie Audage (PACEs Connection Staff) who I've had the pleasure of working with and now consider a friend. Please keep posting in this community about your experiences. Please share resources, calendar events, infographics, and flyers.
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Re: Goodbye from Cissy & Introducing the New Community Manager, Natalie Audage
My heart holds space for you always my dear friend. My world has been forever changed through meeting you. I have learned the power of listening to understand, the importance of the voice of survivors, and how the term expert must be redefined. You have a way of explaining complex systems, events, impacts and effects like no one I have ever met before. I have taken a master-class in the goodness of humanity just by being your friend. Our friendship and professional journey will continue, for...
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Re: Goodbye from Cissy & Introducing the New Community Manager, Natalie Audage
Robin: We are forever friends now and bonded! We will continue to work together and hang out!! You’ve been a wonderful friend, but also a champion and I’ve watched your influence in this movement & in nursing grow. I’ve learned about harnessing social media & making sure many voices and perspectives are highlighted, heard, and honored! Thank you and thank you for your make me emotional comments as well. I will try to take those words all the way in. I know the power of social and in...
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Does Co-Housing Provide a Path to Happiness for Modern Parents? (nytimes.com)
By Judith Shulevitz , The New York Times, October 22, 2021 Eastern Village, a 55-unit apartment complex off a commercial strip in Silver Spring, Md., is a surprisingly lovely place, considering that it once housed the drab offices of a social workers’ association and then stood abandoned for nearly a decade, water dripping through the ceilings. When I visited this summer, ivy cascaded so exuberantly over the facade that I walked past the entrance. The landscaped courtyard, wrested out of a...
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Is Your Child Suffering From Cyberbullying? Make Sure You Look Out For These Signs
Worried that your child may be secretly cyberbullied? There are signs and changes in your child’s life that can serve as a telltale. This may include subtle or not-so-subtle behavioral changes in your child’s school and social life, how they handle the use of technology, and changes in their emotions and behaviors. You’re a parent, right? You know your child like the back of your hand. Their daily behavior and routine. And even if you find it hard to keep abreast with the latest toys (read:...
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6 tips for healthy communication with parents
As we grow up, we have to rebuild relationships with parents: to get out of the usual adult-child paradigm and learn to speak as equals. At this stage, it is easy to distance yourself from them and lose understanding. We will tell you how to communicate with your parents when you are no longer a child. Talk to them as adults, not as parents If you are angry that your parents still communicate with you like a child, try changing your style of interaction with them. Evaluate how independent...
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Childhood friendship and problems of communication with friends
Being a parent is hard work that moms and dads do, often without special skills and training. And if you successfully manage to cope with the problems of small children that arise in the family circle, then keep your sanity and respond correctly to the child's experiences, for example, due to the lack of friends in kindergarten, on the street, or at school, sometimes might be challenging. So, for most parents, the life of their child seems successful and happy when a son or daughter is in a...
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“What Happened to You?” by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey: a book that resonates with us in the PACEs world
What do PACEs Connection and “What Happened to You?”, the new book by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce Perry, have in common? Almost everything. That’s my conclusion after I finished listening to the book on Audible and re-reading parts of it on Kindle. In the book, Winfrey, a w orld-class connector, journalist, entertainer, author, thought leader, actor, and philanthropist, teams up with her longtime friend Perry, a child psychiatrist, neuroscientist and principal of the neurosequential model of...
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We Didn’t Want to Co-Parent a Puppy (nytimes.com)
By Chloe Caldwell, The New York Times, Sept. 3, 2020 Getting a pandemic puppy seemed like a bad idea for a blended family. Until we did it. Even as a child, I never wanted a dog. When I was a longtime single through my 20s, a friend once asked me who I’d rather be with: a partner who had a dog or a partner who had a cat. I said, “a kid.” My stepdaughter, Louise, is 10 years old and like many girls her age, she has a nurturing and maternal streak. She’s attuned to the needs of her parents,...
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The most important thing you can do with your kids? Play with them! says Dr. Bruce Perry
“The most important thing you can do with your children is play with them!” said Dr. Bruce Perry, noted child psychiatrist and author. He was answering the question, “How do we prepare our children to go back to school next fall?” Perry, a brain expert specializing in how children are impacted by trauma, gave a presentation on his neuro-sequential model of brain development to more than 800 people at an Austin Ed Fund event Monday evening. The co-author, with Oprah Winfrey, of the new book...
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Here's what doulas do, and how they're fighting for Black maternal health [bostonglobe.com]
By Dasia Moore, The Boston Globe, October 13, 2021 When Felicia Love found out she was expecting her second child, she knew she needed a care provider who would make her feel safe. Love was in her early 30s, but the news transported her back to her teenage years, when she first became a mother. “It was a really scary experience for me. I felt really unsupported. I had so many questions that went unanswered,” she recalls. Love’s children are now 24 and 8, raised in her home state of Rhode...
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Easy Tricks to Improve your Relationship with the Child
How often do we hug children or express our love? How to improve relationships with children, to be not just a parent, but also a trusted friend, with whom they feel real closeness? Why relationships are deteriorating When children are very young, up to three years old, they very much feel the emotional state of their mother. If she is tired, irritated, or anxious, the child will be naughty too. Also, at this time, mothers are trying to wean the babies from their hands, and the children do...