Tagged With "working from home"
Ask the Community
School Council, School Improvement Plans, ACEs, Diversity & Help?
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community: I'm wondering if anyone has worked ACEs-related language into a School Council School Improvement Plan? I'm on the School Council for a charter school and we're looking at improving parent engagement., in general, and as part of that I'm trying to introduce two topics: 1) ACEs and 2)Race, Class & Parent Involvement We have kids from 30 different communities and 1/3 of the students are Haitian. The other 2/3 are mostly but not entirely Caucasian.
Ask the Community
We are the We
Cissy White and I were talking about the Parenting with ACEs (this group as well as the process of parenting with ACEs). We got animated, excited and went on and on and on (as we often do when we get to talking!) We decided to write a joint blog post to tell you about our conversation and ask you to weigh in on what you want. Read on our attempt at a combined post: Gail's voice - I called to ask if Cissy thought there was need for a place on the Parenting with ACEs group site for parents to...
Ask the Community
ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
I work at an Early Learning Center that serves Head Start and ECEAP preschool families. We are looking to bring ACES and Resiliency to parents, but want to do so in a way that is strengths-based and does not leave families feeling at a loss for what they can do to move forward from ACES they and their families may have experienced. I have found many resources between this website and some other internet searches, but we are very interested in learning about other organization's experiences...
Ask the Community
Being present was the most exhausting part of parenting
I used to sneak away for a hot bath as often as possible when my daughter was in the need-me-every-minute years. I'd soak long past when the water went cold and I felt guilty at times but sometimes I needed to be alone. To read poetry. To have some physical space. To exhale. I didn't always know where or how to pamper or self-care myself. There were few adults I trusted. I believed in attachment-style parenting and wanted to be there all of the time. And that even made me feel guilty when I...
Ask the Community
Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
Let's create a list of resources useful for parenting ourselves and children. These can be books about child development or self-help books or a work of fiction that had important wisdom. If there's a title that's helped you or someone you know, love or work with as it relates to parenting, please share. For me, my absolute favorite is this: There's Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber This book is not about parenting. It's not about how-to parent I should say but it...
Ask the CommunityFeatured
Coronavirus Stress Supports & New AC Community: Balancing ACEs with HOPE
Hi Everyone: I hope you are holding up o.k. I know it's early days but I'm already pretty stretched, strained, and worried. So, if you didn't see on the main page, I wanted to draw your attention to a few free things that are nurturing, calming, and can help you, especially if you are parenting and parenting with ACEs. I know I'm not the best parent I can be when I'm in survival mode so these things are welcome. Please share others as I know there are resources being offered to those that...
Ask the Community
Help our public radio station with our reporting: How did separation from your parents as a child impact you?
KQED is the NPR-affiliate public radio station based in San Francisco, CA. We’d like to hear from adults (18+) who were separated from their parents when they were children. Perhaps the separation was due to economic reasons, war and conflict, incarceration, foster care, or something else. How did that period of separation impact you in the long-run? How did it impact you as a parent? We’re interested in this topic due to recent news of parents and children being separated at the U.S.-Mexico...
Ask the Community
If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
I would like to talk to and hear from parent educators. If you teach parenting classes, incorporate parenting skills as part of the service you provide, or work to improve the lives of parenting survivors of childhood abuse in other ways, I need to hear from you. I'm hoping to find a provider interesting in writing an essay to be included in the soon to be released second edition of the Trigger Points Anthology , which will include the title change to Parenting with PTSD. I'm looking to gain...
Ask the Community
Looking for schools that specialize in "Resilience trumps ACEs"
I am a volunteer in my community who are in the early stages of learning about trauma informed care. There are some teenagers in our community who have been impacted by ACEs and succumbed to using opioids. A few of them who could afford the expense have enrolled in out of state (expensive) residential treatment centers (RTC). I am not sure if some of these RTCs explicitly use trauma informed care. I am observing that the RTC "graduates" returning home may or may not be resilient, especially...
Ask the Community
Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Hi everyone! I've made a blog (not yet launched) called A Resilient Parent (aresilientparent.com). I have a few goals in mind for this blog. First i want to help parents with ACEs heal, so they can thrive themselves. I also believe that whereas the focus is so strongly on this generations kids (for good reason, of course), I feel that outside help can be most effective when the parents are healing as well. Our children look up to their parents/guardians most of all! And it's not to late for...
Reply
Re: Using the World Cafe Model for ACES
Hey Roxy, this sounds great! I'm not really familiar with the "cafe" model, but I'd love to help. What kind of questions are you looking for from us? What kinds if demographics do you have in your area, and what population are you specifically trying to target? I know everyone across all demographics suffer from ACEs, but I think your content will depend on your audience.
Reply
Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
Melissa: Great questions. I'm going to tag a few others to chime in as well. @Karen Clemmer @Rene Howitt @Rebekah Couch @Emily Read Daniels @Louise Godbold @Dawn Daum @Joyelle Brandt have all done presentations about ACEs, as have I. I'm sure we all do them differently and have experiences and thoughts on what does/doesn't work. My opinion is that sharing from the place of WE and US and OUR is most important. We are all impacted by the ACEs we do or do not carry. If we carry lots, that's a...
Reply
Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
Melissa....I always start off my ACEs presentation by asking the audience to go back to their own childhood. Think about their siblings, parents, living room and home. As children we are not responsible for what may have happened to us and also had no control over those actions. I tell them "I know that you will be tempted to think about your own marriage, children and parenting but if you stay there this will feel like finger pointing. That is not the purpose of the presentation."...
Reply
Re: School Council, School Improvement Plans, ACEs, Diversity & Help?
There are no short cuts! Build relationships........... when others different from you know you care they will participate. You will not have the answers to your questions unless they come from them. Not at a meeting but over coffee or dinner conversations at school events ...... YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW
Reply
Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
Check out my facebook pages. Year round parenting from the heart And foster adoption circle of support. I keep posting positive resources. I have developed these two groups to prevent trauma by fueling them exclusively with material I feel helps an audience thrive. Let me know if you have some tools to add. Thanks
Reply
Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
Matt: Can you share a link to your Facebook page? Do you have a website as well? That types of tools do people on your page seem to like most? I'm so glad you are here! Cissy P.S. If you want to cross-post anything as a blog post here, please do.
Reply
Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
Parenting support page. Notice there is a physical group that can be attended. Our base curriculum is "Circle of Security" https://www.facebook.com/ParentingFromTheHeartHelena/ Foster/ Adoption support page positive resources https://www.facebook.com/Foste...ort-700924973360063/
Reply
Re: Affects of ACEs or lack of Discipline?
Hi Naketta, Please find a couple of blog posts for your perusal that may prove beneficial as conversation starters. https://www.pacesconnection.com/...ty-sciencedirect-com https://www.pacesconnection.com/...e-wmcactionnews5-com https://www.pacesconnection.com/...he-roots-of-violence In her book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence , Miller hammers home her provocative stance that the root causes of ALL violence are a consequence of childhood trauma. Of...
Reply
Re: Being present was the most exhausting part of parenting
Just happened to come across your honest sharing. Parenting with ACEs is tough, particularly as a single mom. I constantly struggled to be in the present while so many intrusive thoughts of the past overwhelmed me. There were times, I wished I could just close the mother door. "It wasn't intuitive or automatic. Some of it was natural but much of it was not." The above sentences really hit close to home. I do feel guilty about some of my behavior now. Though thankfully, my son has turned out...
Reply
Re: What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?
I have a long history of personal and professional experience with childhood trauma. In the past 12+ years, I have been doing childhood trauma training. A number of years ago I was was privileged to experience educating parents, in community forums, about ACEs and Resilience. I really wanted a second voice - a parent who could reflect, parent to parent, about their experience having had early trauma. I invited several folks to do this, and it was very difficult for them. Having a son who is...
Reply
Re: We are the We
WOW, talk about a loaded question!! I for one as an early childhood teacher/center director, PBS community outreach teacher, parent and child tend to answer from any or all of these perspectives as the posts opportune. I think dividing the group would be a mistake as parents are probably coming to the site seeking professional ideas and answers that may help them in their given situation. A list of resources may not be as useful to the parents as are links within our professional posts. And...
Reply
Re: We are the We
From my experience, 'a group format' is more powerful when participants take OFF their 'professional hats,' and begin by identify the 'quadrant' they are in at the moment they are sharing. (Ex: head/intellectual, heart/emotional, hands & feet/action/relational, soul/believing.) Using this as a starting place allows a leveling playing field of connection, vs divide. Of understanding where one is coming from into the discussion. For example, after I read the posts above, I found myself in...
Reply
Re: We are the We
Jackie: Thank you for your thoughts. I agree with you about not dividing the group because so many of us do wear several different hats, and conversing, from all the perspectives, including ones not our own, is what makes this group so potentially powerful. If you have any resources to share, or more thoughts, and feelings or ideas, please keep sharing! Cissy
Reply
Re: We are the We
www.pbsparents.org has a wealth of child development resources and parenting tips from a wide variety of "experts" regarding "normal" behavior. The great thing is adults caring for children can go there at any time for free and get ideas about where to head with their problem. Another great resource are the Sesame Workshop kits that deal with some very difficult issues, such as emotional well-being, bullying, getting ready for school, cultural diversity, grief, poverty, health, and...
Reply
Re: Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
I like Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel Siegel and Childhood Disrupted by Donna Jackson Nakazawa . m
Reply
Re: Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Akacia: Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm the Community Manager for this community and I really hope you'll share your blog posts HERE. I think your perspective is key and I appreciate how much you shared. There are over 300 hundred of us here and many of us are parents or work with parents (have ACEs, kids or people we love or work with have ACEs) and we're all learning about trauma informed EVERYTHING and how we can heal and help support and understand our kids and be there for our kids. I love...
Reply
Re: Prevalence of Parents with High ACEs
Jocelyn: Great question. I suggest asking on the ACEs Connection home site so more people see / respond. Cissy
Reply
Re: Prevalence of Parents with High ACEs
Do you mean the general discussion? I’m not otherwise sure how to ask from the home site... On Sun, Nov 12, 2017 at 9:59 AM ACEsConnection < communitymanager@acesconnection.com> wrote:
Reply
Re: Prevalence of Parents with High ACEs
Jocelyn: when you click post from the home page there is a drop down menu. If you select ask the community, you can ask a question there. It's always give to do a blog post, too. But those can move quickly from the home page depending how many we get. Questions to the community stay on the home page a bit longer. Let me know if you need any help! cis
Reply
Re: Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
I think there are a lot of resources that can help parents who are parenting with ACEs. Two books offering a lot of very practical support are both older classics-- How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Faber & Mazlish) and Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) by Thomas Gordon Both these books contain information and practical examples that can help parents become more resourced for responding constructively in moments or situations that are likely to be...
Reply
Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
HI Melissa: I know it's WAY late and I apologize for not seeing your question earlier! While I don't favor screening of parents I'm all for sharing surveys with parents. I don't favor screening til the medical, insurance, and screening places doing screenings have addressed race, gender, class, disability, homophobia and basically all kinds of bias since we know those most impacted most with most risks for ACE-associated issues are poor, female, LBGTQ, of color, and struggling with emotional...
Reply
Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Thank you for your reply, Cissy! I appreciate the perspective you shared. What we ended up doing at the first evening of the event was sending the parents home with a folder that had the ACEs and Resilience surveys, in addition to some other brief documents about Resilience, Serve and Return, etc. On the second evening, we did ask parents to reflect on their experience if they had done the survey at home. I especially like the point you made about acknowledging that often, we don't...
Ask the Community
Corona, Racism, Financial Stress, Online Schooling - PARENTS are stressed and need our help!
This has been a brutal year, especially on kids and their parents! Research says parents are YELLING more, SPANKING more and that the mental health of children is on the decline. Research suggests child abuse in on the rise. SO MUCH STRESS! Parents really need us right now. Help us create a community of care! We are launching the 6th annual NoSpank Challenge to help parents learn... Brain development (and what is normal!) How to parent non-violently How to talk to your children in a way that...
Ask the Community
Speaking about Healing from Childhood Trauma
Hello. I’m Corey Wolff, and I have experienced childhood trauma. I speak about my journey and how I have healed from it. I would love to speak virtually to the members of your group. It would be both informative and inspiring. I am willing to speak for free. I am looking forward to your reply. Best, Corey Wolff https://facebook.com/events/s/healing-from-childhood-trauma/1294455877713593/