Tagged With "Anguished Parents Begin to Speak"
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Training a Brain Afraid from Too Many ACEs: Demystifying Neurofeedback
Please share any stories, insights, experiences or opinions you have about neurofeedback. Have you tried it? Do you know anyone who has? Have you tried to get it covered by insurance for yourself or a child? Many of us are curious about this for treating our own symptoms or for better supporting our kids but it sounds serious, complicated and expensive. What's your experience been? What have you heard or felt or tried? What do you think? Sebern Fisher believes a “well-regulated brain” is a...
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Transforming NJ Child-Care Centers into Nurturing, Trauma Informed & Trauma Sensitive Environments: One non-profit’s successful pilot
With a lot of discussion nationally surrounding the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACES), trauma and resilience it is certainly a topic that still needs to reach educators and parents alike. A recent survey showed that only 10% of early childhood educators had ever heard of ACES, yet 100% reported wanting more information about how trauma impacts children’s behaviors. While teachers certainly notice behaviors in the classroom, they often feel overwhelmed or unsure of the best way to...
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Transforming Trauma Podcast: The Blind Spots of Privilege and Complex Trauma in Marginalized Communities
Transforming Trauma Podcast: The Blind Spots of Privilege and Complex Trauma in Marginalized Communities Claude Cayemitte, a clinical social worker and NARM Therapist, joins the Transforming Trauma podcast to examine how complex trauma impacts individuals from marginalized communities and how unrecognized cultural trauma can lead to misattunement in the therapeutic relationship. Using the NeuroAffective Relational Model as a foundation, and his own background as a Haitian-American male...
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Trauma, Attachment, and Relationships
Interventions in the Attachment and Relationship Problems Trauma Can Cause Julie De Wilde Alfred Adler Graduate School Abstract Much research has been done on the negative effects of trauma on attachment, which then has negative effects on relationships. Research more recently has focused on the positive post traumatic growth that can happen when clients receive safe, healthy attachment to a therapist they can trust. Research also includes the benefits to the client when a therapist includes...
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Trauma Informed Parenting during the COVID-19 Pandemic
If your child has a traumatic history, what can you do to help them cope during this very uncertain and chaotic time?
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Trauma-Informed Parenting: Supplemental Resources (www.nctsn.org) & Review
Gail Kennedy , our own Director of Programs here at ACEs, shared this fantastic resource with me last week. It's called: Trauma-Informed Parenting: Supplemental Resources and is available through the National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) . It was originally called Caring for Children Who Have Experienced Trauma and as part of a workshop for resource parents in the child welfare system. Resource parents, I believe, are are long-term and temporary foster parents as well as adoptive...
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Trauma-Informed Parenting: What Adoptive & Foster Parents Can Help Teach, Part 1
People sometimes feel bad for adoptive parents. They think maybe our kids say, "You're not my real parents" on a daily basis and that we go to bed crying each night because we can't have kids of our "own." Do they think we had to "settle" for adoption or fostering? Do they worry we feel less than as parents? We don't. It's true that some of us have fertility issues. And maybe have grief about that. It's true that our children may love us and their birth parents, foster family members. It's...
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Trauma-Informed Parenting: What Adoptive & Foster Parents Can Teach, Part 2
I wonder how we can better support all parents so they (we) get enough support to be the reliable rocks our children require? And where can we get assistance when that's not possible?
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Trauma-informed program in San Diego teaches parents to train other parents
Story originally posted by Sylvia Paul. It took two years of weekly meetings between parents and organizers, but now 12 parent leaders at Cherokee Point Elementary School in City Heights, a mostly low-income urban neighborhood with 91,000 residents in...
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Trauma-Informed Resources Available During COVID-19 Quarantine (www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org)
Cissy's Note: We're not alone and organizations like the Attachment Trauma Network are summarizing resources and offerings and remembering the entire school community - including parents. Below, there's an excerpt from a recent blog post with resources. Also, per Julie Beem, the Executive Director of the Trauma Attachment Network, (she's smart, kind, and wonderful), more resources will be coming this week and next. And they will be shared here as soon as they are available. While these...
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Trauma-Informed Social Justice: Q&A with Dr. Bukuloa Ogunkua
Cissy's Note: I work with people who challenge systems and policies, who reform or start non-profits, and who see hope and promise where others see despair or destruction. While some folks shake their heads or shrug indifferently in the face of injustice and suffering, others organize, mobilize, and channel their time and energy towards making a change. Maybe a physician hosts an annual conference bringing trauma-informed approaches to medical practice. Perhaps a woman shares ACEs 101...
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Treatment is Prevention: An Argument for Trauma-Informed Mental Health Treatment
By ACEs Connection members Andrea Blanch , Ph.D. and David Shern , Ph.D. It is becoming increasingly clear that toxic stress and trauma play an important role in the development of mental health and addictive disorders. We have recently...
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Trigger Points — finally, a parenting book for moms and dads who survived child abuse [acestoohigh.com]
Trigger Points is the first book written, edited, published by survivors of childhood abuse geared towards parents who are survivors. THE FIRST! THE ONLY! It includes essays from more than 20 men and women survivor parents...
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Troubled moms and dads learn how to parent with ACEs
A father in county jail is ordered to take a parenting class, but isn’t too enthusiastic about it. As part of the class, he learns about the ACE Study, and does his own ACE score. “Oh my god!” he announces to the class. “I have 7 ACEs.” His mother’s an alcoholic. His dad’s been in and out of jail. He himself started dealing drugs at age 11, and doing drugs at 14. “I’ve got two kids at home experiencing the same things I did,” he says. The light bulb goes on. A few days after a woman who’s...
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Two-Generation Strategy Yields Promising Results: The LIFT-AppleTree Partnership Pilot Project [ascend.aspeninstitute.org]
By Kimberly Miyazawa, Ascend, The Aspen Institute, July 2019 Committed to helping families create an intergenerational cycle of opportunity, LIFT, a national nonprofit that connects parents with trained coaches who help them achieve career and financial goals, implements a two-generation (2Gen) strategy. Their partnership with AppleTree, a recognized leader in evidence-based early childhood education, demonstrates LIFT’s commitment to staying laser-focused on the needs of its members – the...
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Two Texts to Show One Difference Between a High and Low ACE Score
I was leaving the house on the way to do something brand new and scary a few weeks ago. My two close friends, Heidi and Kathy, both sent me a text. One has an ACE score of 10. One has a below 4 score. The text from Kathy reminded me that I am loved and safe. She sent me a sticky note with affirmations and attempted to calm my nerves by reminding me that humans are caring and curious and want to know what others have to say. The other text was from Heidi. It said, "Beast mode today." That was...
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Understanding This Theory is Essential to Being Trauma-Informed
My typically happy, well-adjusted 11-year old daughter was having a melt downs of all melt downs. She was crying hysterically. I could hear her wailing downstairs as she was upstairs. I could feel my heart rate rising as her distress increased. I called up to my husband; “What is going on with Hannah?” Granted, the night before was a late Halloween night fueled by massive amounts of sugar. That right there renders a dire state in the body – little sleep, ample sugar. My gut twisted as I...
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Undoing the Harm of Childhood Trauma and Adversity (www.ucsf.edu) + Commentary
Isn't that the most encouraging headline? Too few articles about ACEs offer any hope about what can help. For so long, researchers, writers and activists have been trying to make the point and "prove" that ACEs matter, ACEs matter and oh yeah, ACEs matter ! There have not been enough funding or focus on what can be done, individually and systemically, in general or as parents, in particular, to counter the impact of ACEs. “If you want to interrupt ACEs, you have to help the adults heal,” he...
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Unique's Story (www.changingmindsnow.org)
I watched this video three times this morning. It's stunning and beautiful and emotional. It honors pain. "I just felt like I"m invisible. Maybe I should give up." Unique It offers hope. "It's hard to speak of Miss Daniels. She saved my life. Unique. It touches those of us who watch but it does more than that. It teaches. "If you can get to that pain. Because a lot of these children. My goodness. They just have something to say. They are crying out. They are acting out as their way of saying...
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Video: Bringing the Power of Optimism and Play to Children who Have Endured Trauma & Adverse Experiences
By Trauma Informed Parent Steve Gross is a clinical social worker and a pioneer in the field of using playful engagement and relationships to overcome the devastating impact of early childhood trauma. He is the founder and Chief Playmaker of Life is Good Playmakers; a foundation that works to "harness the power of optimism to create healing, life changing relationships for kids in need." For more information, visit: h ttps://www.lifeisgood.com/kidsfoundation/about-playmakers.html
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Video Course Teaches Strategies for Reducing Conflict in Shared Custody
Splitting custody can be one of the hardest challenges any parent can face -- and a harsh and ongoing trigger for people parenting with ACEs. Our new video-based course, Positive Shared Custody helps parents stop the fighting and build a more cooperative and harmonious co-parenting relationship that benefits parents AND children. Created by a real divorced couple (that's me and my ex, Tim Fricker, who happens to be a family law attorney), the course includes 57 minutes of video content where...
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Vinnie Pompei wants you to know that we're all biased, and we can work with that [edsource.org]
Vincent “Vinnie” Pompei is director of the Youth Well-Being Project of the Human Rights Campaign, a national civil rights organization, and the chair of Time to Thrive, an annual national conference about LGBT student inclusion. He spent more than 10 years as a middle school teacher and high school counselor in the Paramount and Val Verde unified school districts in Southern California. Pompei is also a past president of the California Association of School Counselors. On Oct. 5 at the...
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Vision and Hearing Issues in Children who were Adopted from Other Countries, Article Abstract & Commentary from Mom who Adopted
I don't share many details about my daughter's health history or health issues because she, to date, is far more private than I am. Plus, she's still in her childhood. But, I am continually learning about early adversity, loss, transition, trauma, malnutrition through first-hand experiences and through research because stuff that happened fifteen and sixteen years ago when she was in utero, in another country as well as in an orphanage. All of those things still impact her and our family as...
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Want to get certified in Echo's new trauma-informed nonviolent parenting curriculum?
Want to get certified in Echo's new trauma-informed nonviolent parenting curriculum? For the last 18 years, Echo has been providing sliding-scale parenting classes in Los Angeles. The 10-class series includes the latest science on the brain and childhood trauma and gives parents many tools for creating the kind of safe, stable nurturing relationship we all want with our children and underpins healthy development. Classes are available in English and Spanish. This fall, Echo will be offering...
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Want to see the play about treating youth trauma, TRIGGER, in your area?
A groundbreaking new play about trauma, TRIGGER, was most recently featured at part of the training and inspiration provided to community members participating in the 4CA Policymaker Education Day on July 11, 2017 in Sacramento at the state Capitol.
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We Need to Talk about PTSD in NICU Parents (themighty.com)
Given the nature of NICU, the pain of leaving your fragile baby each day, the feelings of emptiness and grief , the uncertainty and ups and downs, the lines, wires, monitors and alarms, not to mention the security buzzers at the entrance of the unit or the constant rigorous hand-washing, it came as no surprise to me that parents who have experienced premature birth are at greater risk of postnatal depression , anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) . You see, more than 40 percent...
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Weathering the Storms: A Guide to Healthy Expressions of Emotions for Parents and Children from YCCA
Yolo County Children’s Alliance is excited to share Weathering the Storms: A Guide to Healthy Expressions of Emotions for Parents and Children. This resource for parents and caregivers, which we are launching during Child Abuse Prevention Month, discusses how to identify emotions, the importance of empathy, and how to prevent and weather emotional storms. The guide is available in English, Spanish, and Russian at www.yolokids.org/weathering-storms-guide-healthy-expressions-emotions . The...
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WEBINAR: Addressing Attachment During the COVID Crisis
A risk of the household isolation as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, is that constant parent-child conflict will lead to what is called interactional trauma that will cause lost or damaged attachment. This lost attachment can cause deep trauma that can last long after this crisis is over. To lower this risk and heal these wounds, Dr. Sells illustrates the use of the child’s love language and being unpredictable in an online counseling session with a single parent mom in crisis due to...
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Webinar blog: Trauma-informed schools, a conversation with Jim Sporleder
“The most striking thing I heard was that when kids were highly escalated in the lower part of their brain, they physiologically can’t learn or take in new knowledge and problem-solve,” Sporleder recounted to participants in “Trauma-informed Schools: A conversation with Jim Sporleder”, an ACEs Connection webinar held on Nov. 19, 2018.
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WEBINAR: Fostering Equity: Creating Shared Understanding for Building Community Resilience
Struggling with how to Foster Equity Conversations in Community? Join the national partners of the Building Community Resilience Networks as we share our lessons learned in fostering equity as a strategy to prevent childhood adversity and build community resilience. Wednesday, February 26th 12pm-1:15pm Eastern More info at go.gwu.edu/EquityWebinar As a nation we have agonized over how to approach conversations on race, racism, inequity and racial justice. Too often we have opted to attempt...
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Webinar Slides and Recording: Building Resilient Communities with Elaine Miller-Karas
Recorded live August 8, 2019. Find the slides attached below. The 1 hour video recording can be found on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/BUyY0FMjv8s Speaker: Elaine Miller-Karas, MSW, LCSW, Executive Director and Co-founder, Trauma Resource Institute. Host: Carey Sipp, Southeast Community Facilitator, ACEs Connection. Webinar Description: This webinar will explore integrating a biological based model to reduce the impacts of toxic stress for children and adults. It is a model both for...
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WEBINAR: Surviving Family Trauma in Unusual Times - A Live Parent Interview
Dr. Scott Sells, the Founder of the Family Trauma Institute and an expert with families, interviews Sarah, a single parent mom, with four children. The COVID-19 pandemic has brought sudden change and stress to an already traumatized family. Sarah discusses the challenges and how the practical tools on knowing her children's love language combined with a clear written plan is a game-changer to help stabilize her family. If you are a parent or professional who wants concrete tools to help your...
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West Africa ACEs CONNECTION: Chasing solutions for own ACE Score
Even though I have excelled in practically all endeavors that I set out to do and have succeeded in new learning, I continued to have flash backs of certain events from my past and residual anger on certain things. I was first introduced to Trauma theory when I was working in an Outpatient clinic for Men in 2001. The Trauma Recovery Empowerment Model TREM was the philosophy practiced in conjunction with Boston model of psychiatric rehabilitation at the clinic. The concept of recovery made...
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What Exactly is a Toddler Tantrum?
Several years ago NPR had a story about temper tantrums, describing a study showing that the sounds children make during a tantrum indicate that they are primarily sad rather than angry. The written version of the story opens with description of tantrums as " the cause of profound helplessness among parents." I thought this was an interesting choice of words, as I have always thought of tantrums as representing a sense of helplessness in children. In fact, in my over 20 years of practicing...
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What If I Told You?
What if I told you that I was a victim of child sex abuse? As a survivor of child sexual abuse , I have a clear understanding of the importance of addressing stigma and shame as it pertains to sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape. Victims, especially young children, often do not disclose sexual abuse. Those who are witnesses of child sexual abuse, or who are trusted by survivors enough that they confide in them, are often ill-equipped to handle the responsibility. And, many times, parents...
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What If I've Given My Children Bipolar Disorder? (www.ravishly.com) & Commentary
We just had a chat about talking about hard topics with kids earlier this month. This article is about that. It's beautifully written and honest. I admire memoir writers who break silence about parenting with mental illness and/or emotional pain. Lots of people struggle but few write, speak or share about doing so. As a result a whole lot of people feel alone and might suffer more shame and pain even when help is available. Articles like these can help. Stories can challenge or refine our...
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What is Neglect? (www.risemagazine.com)
We use the word "neglect" a lot but not everyone is clear on how that is defined. Here's a piece posted by Rise Magazine last week. What is neglect? The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) defines child neglect and abuse as: “Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation, or an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.” Full piece.
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What Mothers Need to Succeed (www.usanews.com)
Article by Susannah Wellford. I'm sitting on the couch next to my son James. It's Mother's Day, late afternoon, and we are watching a dumb movie on TV procrastinating making dinner and doing homework. It is the happiest I have been all day – hanging out with my son, doing nothing. A lot of my favorite parenting moments are like this. I find a tremendous amount of joy just being with my children, not doing anything special. I appreciate this together time all the more because I know how...
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What Nobody Tells You About Parenting A Child With A History Of Extreme Trauma (www.huffingtonpost.com) & Commentary
Thank you to ACEs Connection member @Emily Read Daniels for sharing this essay written by Chris Prange-Morgan . It's a great read even if you are not a parent, have never adopted, or worked with families formed through adoption who deal with the complications of trauma and loss. I love this piece for so many reasons. I t's beautiful and heart-opening personal memoir. It's honest about parenting, still a rare thing. It speaks about the difference between studying trauma and living...
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What Parents Need to Know: School Reports to CPS, Communicating with the School, and Advocating for Your Child (www.risemagazine.org)
Excerpt from an interview by Ray Watson, Shakira Paige, Sarah Harris and Keyna Franklin with the Bronx Defenders as published in Rise Magazine. Read entire i nterview by Ray Watson, Shakira Paige, Sarah Harris and Keyna Franklin with the Bronx Defenders as published in Rise Magazine.
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What's Right with US!
Thoughts on the shift from, "What's wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?" Dear Monadnock Thrives & ACEs Connection: I have to admit, it has taken me some time to understand the value of shifting from, “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” As a person with high ACEs, I realize I have been absolutely conditioned by our culture to resist the victim label (I resist thinking about what happened to me) and to ‘own’ my response to whatever has happened to me (I must pursue...
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What Should Everyone Know About Post-Birth Maternal Mental Health? [Forbes]
What should everyone know about maternal mental health during and after pregnancy? originally appeared on Quora : the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world . Answer by Lauren Brody , Founder and author of The Fifth Trimester , on Quora : First and foremost, we need to erase the stigma around perinatal mood disorders. They are shockingly common (1 in 7 women nationally; 1 in 4 women for more at-risk moms living in poverty or...
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What to Do When She Says #MeToo [psychologytoday.com]
Most parents want their children to confide in them about their problems. Unfortunately, if you have a daughter, there is a real possibility that one such problem may be that of sexual harassment or violence. A study from Harvard University found 87% of girls have experienced sexual harassment and the CDC reports nearly one in three women have experienced some form of sexual violence victimization. Being a victim of sexual violence or harassment is one of the biggest problems that a teenager...
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What to Do When You Lose Your Cool at Your Daughter (www.motheringanddaughtering.com)
The mother mentor in my life told me about this mother-daughter duo a few years ago. I checked out Sil and Eliza Roberts but their written words didn't resonate with me at the time. They seemed too wealthy or healthy or happy or capable. I just couldn't relate to them. I couldn't imagine mothers and daughters speaking this way, at all, never mind with one another.Plus, they weren't talking about trauma, loss or adversity or the struggles of people with addiction, disease or ACEs in the past...
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What Your Teen Wishes You Knew About Sex Education [npr.org]
By Cory Turner and Anya Kamenetz, National Public Radio, February 11, 2020 Cora Breuner was sitting at home one day about to do a little work on her laptop. "I remember, when I opened my computer, I looked at my son — who shall remain nameless — and I said, 'Why is this porn site on my laptop?'" "I'm an adolescent male, Mom." It would have been an awkward moment for just about any parent. Then again, Breuner isn't just any parent. She's Doctor Cora Breuner, and she works in the adolescent...
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When a Child's Parent has PTSD (www.ptsd.va.gov) & Commentary
Note: There's so little written on this topic. This piece by Jennifer L. Price, PhD is one of the few that talks about the impact on kids when a parent (or parents) have PTSD. It's good to understand our impact on our children. It's nice that veterans with PTSD are not the only parents being discussed. However, this shows that the prevailing idea of PTSD-suffering is often mischaracterized or misunderstood. For those parenting with ACes, it's not so much that trauma is some single, horrific...
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When a Child's Parent Has PTSD (www.va.gov)
I came across this resource today. Sadly, it doesn't talk about the large number of parents who have PTSD from ACEs, developmental and complex trauma instead of or as well as combat-related PTSD. But, it's nice to see the topic of parental PTSD and the way it can impact children being discussed. Here's an excerpt: Introduction Researchers have examined the impact of Veterans' PTSD symptoms on family relationships, and on children of Veterans in particular. Understanding how these symptoms...
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When ACEs Are Held By More Than One Generation, The Outcomes Are Concerning [AAPPublications.org]
The role that adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) play in the physical and mental health of individuals as they age has been well described. What has been less understood is what effect ACEs in a parent might have in their children—until Le-Scherban et al. ( 10.1542/peds.2017-4274 ) decided to study that question in a new study being released this month in our journal. The authors used linked data between parents living in the Philadelphia area and their past exposure to ACES with their...
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
Ask the Community
restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
I'm looking for all things related to the concepts of restorative parenting (Ehrhart and Mathews work), working with parents who have high ACE scores and risky parenting behaviors or even CPS involvement, supporting reconnection and repaired parent-child relationships, etc... Curriculum, research, books, articles...you name it! I'm on a mission! Thanks